Angel's Redemption (7 page)

A relieved look crossed her face. "Thanks, Jackson. Have a good weekend." She winked and gave a slight wave.

Jackson watched her leave and sighed.

Hiring someone to replace her wasn't going to be easy.

He tried to shake off his melancholy feelings and got back to his paperwork. The next thing Jackson knew, his office was darker as the sun began to set for the day. Lucky for him, he was almost finished anyway. He flipped the small, green desk lamp on, leaned back in his chair, and stretched his arms over his head.

Damn, it had been a long day.

The bell from the office door jingled, and he mentally groaned.

Who would come at this time of night?

"Hello?" Jackson called and stood up to welcome his unexpected company.

"Jack?"

Oh my God… it's Eli. What is he doing here?

Jackson quickly tried to smooth his wrinkled shirt and pants with his hands. "I'm in my office, Eli. Come on back."

Eli suddenly appeared at his doorway with a huge smile. He looked crisp and clean in his tight, navy blue t-shirt, and form-fitting jeans. The fading sunlight accented the red highlights in his windblown brown hair, making him look carefree and full of youth. Eli's bright golden eyes seemed to sparkle, and his face lit up with happiness as he walked into Jackson's office.

His friend definitely looked happy to see him, and it made Jackson's heart beat stronger in his chest. He had almost forgotten what it was like to have someone excited to see him.

It had been a couple of weeks since Eli had spent those sick days and nights at his house, but they were some of the best moments Jackson remembered since Ben's death. Just about every day Eli came over to his house. They ate so many meals with each other, Eli suggested they go grocery shopping together and split the cost. At first, Jackson protested, but his young friend insisted, saying he ate more at Jackson's house than he did his own. After some bantering back and forth about it, Jackson finally relented, and Eli split the cost with him.

They had an easy camaraderie that Jackson couldn't remember having with anyone else in a long time. Although Eli was not one to talk about his past, he was forthcoming about what he wanted for himself in the future. It didn't take a genius to figure out Eli was making efforts in his life to change it for the better. Jackson just hoped that one day his sweet friend would confide in him about his mysterious past. Until then, Jackson was content to let it go.

Only one thing kept Jackson from sleeping well at night.

His desire for Eli was starting to make him miserable. He had a feeling it might be a mutual attraction, but Jackson figured it was just because Eli hadn't gotten out much and met other people. But sometimes, Jackson could swear that Eli fought the pull of attraction between them. It scared Jackson, but for the first time since Ben's death, he had the hope of possibly having more.

Jackson smiled at his gorgeous friend and motioned for him to enter his office.

"Sorry to pop in on you like this, but I thought since you were working late tonight, I would bring you something to eat," Eli said. He held up a big, brown bag and gave him a flirty wink.

He brought me supper.

Jackson grinned at his friend and his heart fluttered with an unnamed emotion. His stomach rumbled as the delicious smells from the bag filled his senses. Jackson motioned to one of the two black leather chairs in front of his desk. "Wow, thanks Eli! Have a seat. I haven't eaten since noon, and I'm starved."

Eli sat down, opened the bag, and started pulling red and white Chinese food containers from it. "I had a feeling you'd be starving. Have you gotten most of your work done? How are the new accounts going?"

Jackson was surprised that Eli remembered him talking about the new clients. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been asked about his job. It was accounting after all, and a lot of people, including Ben, found it quite boring.

Not that he blamed them. Not everyone loved working with numbers like Jackson did.

"It's actually going pretty smoothly, thank you," Jackson said, watching him unpack the food. Eli took a can of Coke out of the bag and handed it to him. Jackson popped the tab open and gave Eli another grateful smile.

The man had thought of everything.

"What have you been up to today? Did you sign up for that GED class yet?" Jackson took a plastic fork from Eli. He opened a container of what looked like Lo Mein and began to dig in.

"I did. It's going to be three nights a week at the community center." Elijah was attacking his own container of food with relish. Apparently Jackson wasn't the only hungry one.

Jackson was immediately proud and impressed that his friend was determined to better himself. Elijah could be so mysterious about his past, and Jackson hoped as long as the younger man had goals in life, Eli wouldn't cut his wrists again.

He listened as Elijah talked about his new class and couldn't help glancing at the scars.

Many questions invaded Jackson's mind, but he wasn't sure how to approach the subject. Since they had met a couple of weeks ago, there were several times he wanted to ask Eli about it but never did. How did one broach that subject, anyway? Jackson liked Eli and enjoyed the friendship developing between them. Although he didn't want to do anything to push the younger man away, Jackson's curiosity and the feelings he had for his friend would eventually mean he'd ask him. He just didn't want to be pushy about it. When Eli was ready to talk, they would.

He hoped.

Eli stopped talking and apparently noticed him gazing at his scars because he sighed and set his food down on Jackson's desk.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jackson nearly choked on his food. He was embarrassed to be caught staring, but glad Eli seemed to be willing to discuss it. He wiped his mouth and nodded. "Yes, but only if you want to." Jackson really didn't want his new friend to stress about it.

Eli shrugged. He looked down at his wrists and traced the scars with his fingertips for a few moments. He looked up at him with a pained expression on his face and sighed.

He's really not ready to talk
.

"Eli, if you're not ready…" Jackson began.

"It's okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Jackson walked around the desk and sat in the chair beside Eli. He placed a consoling hand on his friend's shoulder. The young man took a deep breath, grabbed his hand with shaky fingers, and held onto it tightly. Eli's hand was cold and clammy, making Jackson even more aware of Eli's nervousness.

"I talked to my therapist today about you." Eli's voice sounded slightly shaky as he stared at their joined hands. "He told me that you sounded like you were a good friend to me… someone I can trust."

It didn't surprise Jackson that his friend was in therapy; in fact, he was relieved to hear he was. Jackson gave Eli's hand a reassuring squeeze and waited for him to continue. Jackson tried to brace himself for the next words his friend would say. It was going to be difficult hearing about Eli's pain, but he still wanted to do it.

"I can trust you, can't I, Jack?"

Eli's words were so softly spoken, Jackson almost didn't hear them. Fear and hope radiated from Eli's body, and Jackson gave his hand another reassuring squeeze. "Yes, Eli. Whatever happened in the past is just what it is… the past. Let me help you and ease this burden you've been carrying around." He kept his voice low and spoke as soothingly as he could.

He didn't want his friend to regret confiding in him. He tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever Eli was about to tell him. Jackson had a feeling that however he reacted to what Eli said would define their relationship, and he prayed that after everything was said and done, they would work it out together, and it would be all right.

They gazed into each other's eyes for a few moments. His friend gave a slight nod before he spoke. "I'm not sure where I should start. Probably from the beginning, I imagine. But before I tell you this, you need to know something."

Jackson nodded, his stomach churning from the helplessness and fear that resonated from Eli's voice.

"I like you, Jack. If I lose our friendship over this… I don't know what I would do. You see, it's been years since someone has liked me… well, for me. You've welcomed me into your life and home. You've trusted me with your adorable dog and taken care of me when I was sick. You have no idea what that means to a person like me. I want…" Eli stopped and his face flushed red. He didn't know if it was because of embarrassment or anxiety, but Jack knew he had to say something encouraging for his young friend to continue.

"Whatever you want or need, Eli, I'm here for you, okay? Your friendship means as much to me. Nothing you say or do will change that."

Eli blinked and took another shuddering breath. "I want… for our friendship to turn into something special. I feel something I've never experienced before I met you, and when I'm with you, Jack, I feel like maybe all those stupid fairy tales I was told as a child might just come true."

As Eli's words reverberated throughout his mind, Jackson was both exhilarated and scared to death. He couldn't believe that this sweet, amazing man had some of the same thoughts and felt the pull of something special between them. It was almost too good to be true. For years, Jackson believed he would be alone forever. Now, upon hearing Eli's thoughtful words, Jackson began to feel something he thought he'd given up a long time ago.

Hope.

"I feel it too, Eli."

Jackson looked deeply into his friend's worried eyes and slowly raised their joined hands to his mouth. He pressed a light kiss to Eli's knuckles, and then he placed them back in his lap. The younger man squeezed his a little tighter and a vulnerable look crossed his lovely face.

A beautiful smile formed on Eli's face and a spark of joy gleamed in his eyes. But as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared and once again the frightened look returned.

"I'm scared, Jack. I'm scared that once I tell you this, those feelings might change."

"It's not going to change anything, Eli."

"You don't know that."

"I do."

"How do you know, Jack? Huh? How do you know that once I tell you about my past, you won't want to run away from me as fast as you can?" Eli looked almost frantic, his breathing erratic and his face flushed.

With his free hand, Jackson gently cupped Eli's face. "I just do. There isn't much you can tell me that will make me think badly of you."

"Oh, yeah?" Eli sounded almost argumentative.

"Yes. Take a chance on me. Let me prove to you that I'm not a fickle man. No one is perfect. Especially me."

Eli visibly swallowed and leaned his cheek into Jackson's hand for a few precious moments, and then he pulled away and nodded.

Here it comes.

Jackson steeled himself to keep his emotions in check. He was determined to get past whatever it was that haunted Eli in his past—together—as his friend or as something hopefully, possibly more.

It was then Jackson became aware of where they were. By Eli's expression, he guessed it was going to be a long conversation.

"Eli."

"Hmm?"

God, he wanted that frightened look to just go away. The few bites Jackson had eaten earlier settled heavily in his stomach.

"I have an idea. Let's pack up the food and talk about this at my house, okay?" He grabbed Eli's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "I was wrapping things up here anyway. This way we can relax and talk and not worry about having to drive home afterward."

Eli searched his face for a few seconds before he looked down at the floor and gave a quick nod. "Sure, Jack. I'll meet you there in a few minutes," he whispered through tight lips. He jumped to his feet and started to walk briskly toward the door.

Fuck this
.

Jackson didn't want for Eli to leave upset. With no idea what to do other than to give him some encouragement and support, he immediately jumped to his feet and caught up to his panicked friend. Jackson wrapped his arms around him, stopping Eli in his tracks, and pulled the smaller man back into the warmth and comfort of his embrace.

"It's going to be all right." Jackson gave Eli's lean stomach a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "Let's take a moment to calm down before we leave, okay?"

Eli drew a deep, shuddering breath and relaxed against him. "I don't want to lose you."

Jackson had to strain to hear Eli's words.

He gently disengaged himself and slowly turned Eli around. He placed his hands on each side of Eli's face and looked deeply into watery eyes.

"You're not going to lose me. I value you and our friendship too much," he reiterated. He rubbed his thumbs against Eli's cheeks, wiping away the stray tears with a soft touch.

Eli gave a quick nod, and soon he was clutched into an almost desperate embrace with his head nestled firmly between Jackson's neck and shoulder. The younger man's body shook with either fear or nerves, and Jackson once again wondered what had happened to his sweet friend.

He forced himself to relax and allow Eli to calm down within the support of his arms. Jackson began to rub his hands up and down Eli's back, giving an occasional pat here and there, never once pulling away or rushing Eli to move until he was ready.

Jackson pushed the numerous questions out of his mind and decided to enjoy the feel of Eli in his arms. He took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh, clean scent of Eli's skin. Jackson rubbed his cheek against the top of Eli's hair, enjoying its texture and the faint, minty scent of his shampoo.

It felt good to be held and needed again. Ever since Eli came into his life, it made him realize how much he missed having someone to truly talk to. Ben had not only been Jackson's lover, but he was also his best friend.

It was also nice to be held again.

Jackson once more vowed to himself that no matter what Eli said about his past, he wouldn't do anything to break the bond between them.

All too soon, Eli eased away from him and looked up at Jackson with a wobbly smile on his tear-streaked face. "I think I left a wet spot on your shirt."