Angel's Rest (22 page)

A little mewl of pain escaped Nic’s throat as he added, “Oh, Pam. Don’t say that. Not after all we’ve been through. Please, I can’t lose you. I’ll have nothing. Let me—”

He let the receiver fall away from his ear and she could hear the dial tone. He muttered a vicious curse and banged his fist against the wall.

Nausea churned, threatened to erupt. She clapped a hand over her mouth and he looked up. Their gazes met and he repeated the curse. She dashed for the powder room beneath the stairs and lost her breakfast.

By the time she emerged, he was gone.

Nic insisted they complete their birthday surprise for Celeste. Wonderful friends that they were, Sage and Sarah added a few succinct bananagram messages for Gabe, which they left with his painting supplies upstairs.

Nine days later at the courthouse in Gunnison, with Sage Anderson, Sarah Reese, and Celeste Blessing in attendance, John Gabriel Callahan married Dr. Nicole
Sullivan. He dressed in a suit. She wore jeans and a baggy brown sweater and accepted the rings he offered with a silent nod.

She hadn’t brought a wedding band for him. Nor had she appeared to notice that he’d finally removed Jennifer’s ring from his left hand. It had taken him half a bottle of scotch to work up the nerve to do so, and now he felt naked without it.

Until the moment Nic said “I do,” he’d expected her to call it off. She’d thrown up on the way into the building. He’d stumbled over her name when introducing her to the judge. Following lunch at the women’s favorite Mexican restaurant, where Sarah continued to give him the evil eye and privately threatened to take a rusty knife to his nuts if he didn’t treat his new wife right, Nic had hugged her friends and thanked them for coming as they climbed into Sage’s car and waved good-bye. He’d pretended not to see the tear that slipped from her eye to trail down her face as she joined Gabe for the two-hour drive home.

Gabe swallowed a sigh, then glanced at Nic. “If you need to stop, just let me know.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Whoa, three whole words. Almost a record
.

After she’d overheard his phone call to Pam, all sense of ease between them had disappeared. Their relationship headed downhill. On skis. On lightning-fast skis on fresh powder. Now she avoided him, seldom met his gaze, and spoke to him primarily in monosyllables. Her smiles never reached her eyes. It made him feel like a heel.

He’d attempted to talk to her, to explain about his relationship with Pam and her family, but that had been a big fat fail. Really, what could he say? What excuses could he give? She’d heard what she’d heard—and it had been the truth.

Frustration nipped at him. And it wasn’t as if he hadn’t warned her. He’d been totally straight with her. Now he was the villain her girlfriends wanted to castrate, and he felt like he’d kicked a puppy.

The woman had lost her spirit, and he knew it was his fault. She wasn’t the same Nic who had stood up to him in her kitchen or danced with him at the school gym. He’d bet that if he listened hard enough, he could hear her heart breaking.

He stole a glance at his new wife and noted her stoic expression. His hand tightened on the steering wheel. He’d given her a set of wedding rings at the courthouse earlier. He’d spent a pretty penny on the stones. She’d accepted the rings with a tepid smile, thanked him politely, but never looked at them once he’d slipped them onto her finger. Nic was suffering some real buyer’s remorse about this marriage while he enjoyed one more round of guilt. Guilt over Jen and Matt and the accident. Guilt about causing his sister-in-law additional pain. Now guilt over Nic and the baby she carried. He was never free of it. He was a guiltaholic.
Wonder if there’s a twelve-step treatment program for this. If so, sign me up for the meetings
.

He was tired of this. Bone weary of feeling guilty every second of every day.

He glanced at the odometer. Two-thirds of the way there. Should be just enough time for him to clue her in on the arrangements he’d made. He lifted his water bottle from the cup holder, took a long swig, then said, “Open the glove box, Nic. Take the envelope and put it in a safe place. I’ve executed a new will, added you and the child as beneficiaries. Same thing with my insurance policies—the information is in there. So is my attorney’s name. I opened a bank account in your name and there’s a couple of credit cards.”

Her mouth formed a silent O. “Credit cards? Gabe, I
admit my finances have been tight, but I don’t need all that.”

“Look, it’s no big deal to me. My profession pays well, and one of my technology investments paid off big-time last summer. Money is not a concern of mine.”

She removed the papers from the glove compartment, looked at the numbers on the bank statement, and her eyes went wide and round. They rode another five minutes in silence before she said, “Thank you, Gabe. I appreciate your making changes to your will and insurance in order to protect our baby’s financial future.”

For crying out loud, she sounded like a commercial. It annoyed him. The whole day annoyed him. He didn’t want to live like this.

Gabe waited until he’d negotiated Sinner’s Prayer Pass to say, “You need to give me a clue here, Nic. Please tell me what I can do to make this right. Look, I know the phone call hurt you and—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Let me say this,” he snapped. “You’ve dodged talking about this with me for more than a week. It’s surprised me, Nic. I didn’t take you for a coward.”

Her jaw went tight and she stared straight ahead, but she remained silent, so he pressed on. “I’m sorry you overheard my conversation with Jennifer’s sister. I’m sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends. But this is no way to start a marriage. Where do we go from here, Nicole? I need a little help here. I don’t know what you want.”

She was quiet for a long time before she replied. “That’s part of the problem. I’m not sure what I want. I’ll be honest with you, Gabe. I feel like my world has been turned upside down and I don’t know which way is up. Sarah says it’s hormones, but that seems like an excuse. I’m … sad. I think I need a little time to adjust to everything.”

He spied a herd of bighorn sheep in the road ahead, braked, and honked his horn. He didn’t know what to say to her. “Nic, I’ll say it again. I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t.” She shook her head. “I understand, Gabe. Truly, I do. And I’m the one who is sorry. I know I’m being a pain. You’re not responsible for my feelings or emotions or neurosis. I think I simply need a little time to … well … let go of my dreams.”

Great. Guilt, guilt, and more guilt
.

He negotiated the curve of a switchback, and then the rooftops of Eternity Springs came into view. Time to fish or cut bait. “Okay, then. That brings us back to the original question. Where do we go from here? Friends? Awkward acquaintances like we’ve been this past week? Do you want me to leave town and you’ll call me when the baby is born?”

“No,” she said softly. “I don’t want you to leave town. We need to be friends. That’s what is best for the baby.”

“Then this tension between us needs to end. That can’t be good for the baby, either.”

Tears flooded her eyes yet again. “I’m not trying to be awkward and tense. I am trying not to cry. I want to cry all the time, and it’s making me crazy. It’s not like me. I’ve never been a needy, clingy, whiny female, but that’s what I’m becoming. I can’t stand it. I can’t help it. I don’t know how to fix it.”

Gabe did. He set his mouth in a grim line and considered the situation. What they needed to do was spend time together among other people, but away from the prying eyes of Eternity Springs. They needed to do what all brides and grooms do—to a point. They should go on a honeymoon.

A honeymoon without sex.
Oh, joy
.

He shied from the thought but knew it was a good
idea. Where would he take her? Somewhere fun but not romantic. It couldn’t be isolated. They needed to be around people. Somewhere warm. He could use a shot of sunshine about now, and he bet she could, too.

He could think of only one place that would fit the bill. As they approached her house, he asked, “What is your schedule like the rest of the week?”

“Light. Why?”

“Any animals in your clinic that need special care?”

“Not special care. Lori is a great vet tech, and she handles most everything. Why?”

“I want you to clear your calendar. We’re going to deal with this, put the awkwardness to bed once and for all.”

Her eyes rounded with wariness and surprise, then she whipped her head around to frown at him.

“The awkwardness,” he explained. “Not you and me. We’ll have separate rooms.”

“Separate rooms? What are you talking about?”

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “Listen, Nic. For better or for worse, we got married today. We’re husband and wife, and now we need to find our way back to being friends. Do you agree with that assessment?”

She pursed her lips and thought a moment. “Yes.”

“Then let’s make an effort to do just that, and let’s do it away from everyday pressure and prying eyes.”

“How? We live in Eternity Springs. It’s the definition of prying eyes.”

“Then we get away from Eternity Springs. Look, Nic, just because we’re not having sex doesn’t mean we can’t have a honeymoon, does it?”

“A honeymoon?” she repeated, her eyes round with shock and maybe a glimmer—just a tiny little spark—of anticipation.

He stopped the car in her driveway and pulled out his phone. “Go pack a bag, Nic. I’ll stay here and make the arrangements. We’ll leave from Eagle’s Way.”

“Leave for where?”

“Pack your sneakers, Nic. We’re going to Disney World.”

Nic blinked. “Disney World? You want to go to Disney World? On a honeymoon?”

“Yeah. It’ll be great.” He gave her an encouraging smile. “Warm weather, plenty to do. It’ll be fun.”

Nic opened her mouth, then shut it. Opened it again, then shut it again. Disney World.

“I’ll book us into one of the hotels on the resort property. Do you have a favorite?”

“Actually, no,” she said, her tone wry. “I don’t have a favorite Disney hotel. Or park. Or movie. Or character. Or song.”

“Oh,” he said, darting her a look. “You’re not a Disney fan?”

“I was an undergraduate double major in college. Biomedical science and business. I did an internship at Disney one summer. For two interminable weeks, I worked the It’s a Small World ride. A guy I worked with told me he’d been assigned to that ride for three years straight. Can you imagine listening to that music all day, every day? I’m telling you, it’s places like that where serial killers are made. Someday we’re going to read about that guy burying people under his house.”

Gabe’s lips twitched. “Let me guess. You’d rather not go to Disney World on our honeymoon.”

“Give the guy a set of mouse ears.”

“Okay, then, you pick a place.”

Against her will, traditional honeymoon destinations spun through her mind: Mexico, the Caribbean, Paris, London, Rome. She gave her head a shake. “Gabe, I appreciate the thought, but we don’t need to go on a wedding trip.” Then, deciding the moment needed honesty, she added, “It would be awkward.”

“Beginning this marriage beneath the watchful eyes of Eternity Springs is what would be awkward. The more I think about it, the more I believe this is the right thing to do. C’mon, Nicole. Let’s pick a place neither one of us has ever visited. We’ll be tourists together.”

He was trying, trying hard, and Nic appreciated the effort. She decided she should do the same. Besides, the thought of discovering a new place along with Gabe had a definite appeal, as did the idea of a break from winter weather. Unfortunately, finding such a place new to them both proved harder than she’d expected. “This isn’t going to work,” she said after naming a dozen possibilities. “You’ve been everywhere.”

“Not everywhere. Let’s do this differently. What activities do we both like? Scuba?”

She shook her head.

He scowled. “Sailing?”

She thought of the delicate state of her stomach and knew she didn’t want to spend hours on a boat. “Sightseeing.”

“Sightseeing works. What else?”

Another
s
-word came to mind, but she knew better than to mention sex. She changed letters. “Tennis.”

He shrugged. “Tennis is fine, too. Golf?”

She wrinkled her nose. “I’ve played a few rounds, not often enough to be any good. My ex was a scratch golfer, but he didn’t play with me. We’d go to golf resorts and I’d do the spa while he golfed. I love pampering as much as the next woman, but … wait.” An idea occurred and she rolled it around in her head for a moment
before voicing it. Would this be something she truly wanted to do? Thinking about it did give her a devilish bit of pleasure. “Do you play golf, Gabe?”

“I’m not a scratch player and I haven’t picked up a club in over a year, but I don’t embarrass myself.”

“Have you ever played Pebble Beach?”

“No. Have you?”

“Nope.” She gave her first spontaneous smile in days. “But playing it was Greg’s number one golf goal. The Monterey peninsula is supposed to be gorgeous. There’s the aquarium, Carmel … the weather might not be as warm as Florida, but it won’t be twelve degrees.” Glancing at the dashboard thermometer, she corrected, “Ten degrees.”