Anne Douglas (31 page)

‘We never dreamed there could be talk of marriage,’ Sheana put in. ‘At your age.’

‘As though people of our age never get married?’ Ishbel asked, dabbing at her eyes.

‘Aye, maybe they do, but we never thought it of you,’ Niall declared. ‘We never believed you’d want to – and I still don’t believe it. I cannot believe it. I won’t.’

He rose to his feet, pushing back his chair. ‘Look, this has been too much for me. I’m going to have to go home.’ He put his hand to his brow, which was shining with sweat. ‘Mother, I’ll – I’ll maybe see you . . . sometime – I don’t know—’

‘Oh, Niall, don’t go,’ she wailed. ‘We were going to have a cup of tea – we can talk—’

‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘There’s no point in any more talk.’

‘Don’t leave your mother this way,’ Frank said, rising as Niall and Sheana moved to the door. ‘Can’t you see she’s upset?’

‘We’re all upset,’ said Sheana, taking her husband’s arm. ‘Specially Niall. I’m taking him home.’

No one made a move to see them out, but they all could hear the front door bang and the next moment the sound of a car starting up and roaring away. Ishbel’s family had gone.

‘I thought they might – you know – have been expecting it,’ Frank muttered, as Ishbel collapsed back into her chair still shaking. ‘You were, weren’t you, Lynette?’

‘We’d guessed. But then Niall and Sheana haven’t been here.’

‘You think it was too much of a shock, then?’

‘Must have been.’

‘I never thought they’d take it so badly,’ Ishbel said faintly. ‘Maybe I should have just quietly told them myself, Frank. We made too much of it, asking them over.’

‘Aye, maybe I got it wrong. But there was no easy way.’

‘It’s fifteen years since my Robbie died in the war,’ Ishbel went on, half to herself. ‘In all that time, I’ve never looked at another man till you came, Frank. Then, it seemed so right. I thought Niall would understand.’

‘Look, he’s upset. It’s all been a shock to him. After he’s had a bit of time to think about it, he might come round.’

‘Maybe.’

‘I’ll make some tea.’ Lynette stood up, not looking at anyone. ‘Or, maybe coffee.’

‘I’ll make it,’ said Ishbel. ‘Will give me something to do. Who wants what, then?’

‘If I can’t have a whisky, I’ll settle for coffee,’ Frank muttered, rubbing his hand over his face.

When the girls said they’d have coffee, too, Ishbel said she’d make it for everyone and left them, walking slowly, as though she were much older.

Frank, taking out his cigarettes, passed the packet to Lynette.

‘How do you two feel, then?’ he asked, as he lit Lynette’s cigarette and his own. ‘Monnie, were you crying just then? I never wanted you to cry.’

‘I was just thinking of the old days,’ she said in a low voice.

‘You mean your mother. Do you really believe I’ve forgotten her? I’ve tried to explain how it is. I thought you’d understand.’

‘Looks like our generation is not good at understanding,’ Lynette said shortly, watching the smoke of her cigarette curl away.

‘It was a shock for Niall. You were expecting it.’

‘It was still a shock.’

‘Hard to take in,’ Monnie murmured.

‘But if you think about it, surely you can see why Ishbel and I feel ready for a new relationship? It’s natural to want companionship – and love.’

‘You’ll have to give us time, Dad.’

‘All right,’ he said eagerly. ‘Take time, all you want, but don’t turn away from me, eh?’

‘We never said we’d do that,’ said Monnie.

After they’d finished Ishbel’s coffee, there were still duties to be done in the hostel, but the girls told Frank to take Ishbel home, they’d look after things.

‘You’re sure?’

‘Oh, come on, we can do the sing-song as well as you,’ Lynette said. ‘And call lights out!’

‘I’ll be back long before then,’ said Frank, helping Ishbel into her light jacket.

No more was said, except for sombre goodnights, as he and Ishbel left the hostel, and then the girls were alone.

‘Better get along to the common room,’ said Monnie. ‘Do I look as though I’ve been crying?’

‘No, you look fine. Well, shattered, but no one will notice.’

Lynette, studying her own looks in a compact mirror, laughed a little. ‘Know what’s happened to us?’ she asked, snapping the compact shut. ‘We’ve been made redundant.’

‘Redundant?’

‘Well, we came up here to keep Dad company – look after him, if you like – and now he doesn’t need company, doesn’t need looking after. Our job’s over.’

Monnie’s eyes were widening. ‘Is that what you think?’

‘Don’t you?’

‘I don’t know. I thought there was more to being here than that. I thought we were happy here.’

‘Maybe you are.’

‘But aren’t you, Lynette? You’ve got your job – and Ronan.’

‘True. But things are going to be different now, aren’t they?’

‘I suppose so. Can’t help feeling sorry for Dad, you know, and Ishbel. They’re so happy to have found each other, but now it’s all been spoiled.’

‘They couldn’t expect it to be easy. Families count for something. We have to be happy about it, too.’

Monnie sighed, then brightened. ‘Thank goodness I’m going walking with Paul tomorrow. Up in the hills, everything gets put into perspective.’

‘And Torquil? When are you seeing him?’

‘At the weekend, I expect.’ Monnie’s bright look had faded. ‘Look, let’s see what’s happening in the common room. I’m responsible for order, when Dad’s not here.’

But as they hurried through the house, Monnie had one last question for her sister. ‘If you’re not settled here, Lynette, what will you do?’

‘Do? I’m not sure. I’ll have to think about it.’

In the common room, of course, there was no time for thinking, and as the girls mingled with the young hostellers, Lynette being persuaded to have a go at snooker, Monnie to play a game of dominoes, it was soothing to know they could shelve their troubles, at least for the rest of the evening.

Fifty-Two

While Monnie put things into perspective on top of the Hill of Scree above Loch Hourn, Paul a sympathetic listener at her side, Lynette was walking with Ronan on the strip of shore below the hotel gardens. She had asked him to meet her at lunchtime, when the guests would all be in the restaurant, telling him she thought they ought to talk.

‘Talk?’ The eyes she found so fascinating lit up. ‘I hope this is going to be talk I want to hear?’

‘I hope so,’ she answered seriously.

‘You’re going to give me my answer?’

‘And a question.’

The light in his eyes had died. ‘Not sure I like the sound of that, Lynette.’

‘Just come down to the shore, Ronan.’

‘Nothing would keep me away.’

There they were, then, walking on the narrow sand, the waters of the Sound within a pebble’s throw, the mountains opposite without cloud. Lynette and Ronan, however, were not looking at the scenery.

‘There’s a bench here,’ Ronan murmured. ‘Let’s sit down.’

‘Think I’ll have a cigarette,’ Lynette said, as they sat together, both checking to see if anyone was in the gardens, watching, but turning back, satisfied that they were unobserved.

‘No smoking,’ Ronan said firmly. ‘You smoke too much, my darling. I’m going to see you cut it down.’

‘It settles my nerves.’

‘What nerves?’ He laughed. ‘You have no nerves.’

‘How can you say that? I was like a jelly when you interviewed me, remember?’

‘Don’t remind me of that interview. Anyway, you gave no sign.’ He folded her hand in his. ‘Come on, then, let’s talk.’

‘You’re not feeling too hungry? You’re missing lunch.’

‘As though I care about lunch when you want to talk to me.’

When it came to it, however, she was hesitating, feeling the nerves he said she didn’t have.

‘A piece of news first,’ she told him, lightly stroking his hand. ‘My dad is going to marry Ishbel MacNicol.’

‘Why, Lynette, that’s wonderful! You must be delighted. Ishbel’s a fine person.’

‘Delighted?’ Lynette frowned. ‘We thought he would never want to replace our mother.’

‘I can understand why you’d think that, but time passes, doesn’t it? Your father’s been alone for years and a man needs a wife.’ Ronan’s grip tightened on Lynette’s fingers. ‘I know I do.’

‘The point is, that we’re not really needed now. We only came up to the Highlands to be with Dad, we didn’t want him starting a new life on his own. And now he’s not going to be on his own, so we can think again.’

Pulling her hand suddenly away from his, Lynette took a deep breath.

‘I do want to marry you, Ronan,’ she began, and as he gave a quick shuddering sigh, added quickly, ‘but I don’t want to live here.’

Their eyes locked together, they sat still as a pair of decorative statues, their lips parted, no words coming.

At last, Ronan moved, still keeping his eyes on Lynette, and took out his handkerchief, touching it to his brow.

‘You want to marry me? You did say that, Lynette?’

‘That was my answer.’

‘And the question is?

‘Will you come with me to Edinburgh?’

Replacing his handkerchief in his breast pocket, Ronan stood up and began to walk up and down in front of Lynette on the bench, but saying nothing. After watching him for a few moments, she jumped to her feet.

‘Ronan, aren’t you going to say something?’

He stopped, looking into her face. ‘What can I say? You know it’s not possible for me to come with you to Edinburgh.’

‘Why? Why is it not possible?’

‘Because my work is here, my life is here. I can’t imagine living anywhere else. I told you that once, didn’t I?’

‘Yes, and I know you love this place, it means a lot to you. But then you say you love me too.’

‘I do love you. I want you to marry me and you’ve said you will.’

‘I will, but not here. I want us to go to the city and make our lives there. You’d have no trouble finding a post in Edinburgh, Ronan, you’d be snapped up for one of the hotels straight away.’ Lynette moved towards him, taking his hands. ‘And it’d be so different there. So full of life!’

‘You think there’s no life here?’ he asked quietly.

‘Oh, yes, of course, but it’s different, eh? Listen, I think this part of the world is the most beautiful I know, but it’s not my world, you see. It’s somewhere I can admire and enjoy, but I just feel all the time as though I’m passing through. On holiday, sort of thing.’

‘That would change,’ he said eagerly, taking her in his arms. ‘Once you realized it was your home – and it would be, with me – you’d settle down, grow to love it as I do. Oh, God, Lynette, you wouldn’t turn me down for Edinburgh, would you?’

She was silent in the circle of his arms, and he gently turned her face to his. ‘Tell me, you wouldn’t,’ he said softly. ‘You love me, you have to be with me.’

‘Couldn’t I say the same thing to you, Ronan? If you love me, you’ll follow me, wherever I go, won’t you?’

He dropped his arms and stood without speaking, his face taking on its old sombre look. He looked at his watch. ‘Time to go,’ he said huskily. ‘We must just talk again, Lynette.’

‘What will change?’ she whispered, and he gave a twisted smile.

‘One of us. One of us will have to give in.’

‘It’s not a question of giving in! It’s a question of wanting – wanting to do what the other person wants.’

He shrugged. ‘I call that giving in. Let’s go, Lynette. I have to make some phone calls.’

‘Will you have time for a sandwich?’

‘I don’t feel like anything. How about you?’

She shook her head. ‘Fionola’s had lunch, but I’d better get back to the desk with her. We’re pretty busy at the moment.’

In fact, Lynette did not go straight back to Reception. As soon as she’d seen Ronan disappear into his office, she went through the glass side door into the gardens, where she lit a cigarette and sat down on a wrought iron seat. Which was where Scott found her a little while later.

‘Lynette, this is a bit of luck!’ He sat down beside her, lighting one of his own cigarettes and smiling happily, until he more clearly saw her face.

‘Hey, you’re upset. What’s up? Is this why you’re not at the desk?’

‘I should be,’ she murmured. ‘But I needed something to get me there.’ She dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. ‘Thing is, I’ve had a disagreement with Ronan.’

‘Music to my ears. Tell me more.’

‘You won’t like it.’

‘Try me.’

‘Well, some time ago, he asked me to marry him – you probably know that.’

‘Guessed.’

‘Today, I said yes.’

Scott looked at his cigarette. ‘And? Come on, what went wrong? You wouldn’t be sitting here like this if everything was all right.’

‘No. What happened was that I said I’d marry him if he came to Edinburgh with me.’ Lynette rested her blue eyes on Scott’s closely attentive face. ‘Maybe it sounds selfish, but I think I’ve always known at the back of my mind that I couldn’t settle here. Monnie’s different. She’s like Dad, she loves it. But now my dad is going to marry Ishbel and there’s no real need for me to be here any more.’

‘Your dad’s going to marry Ishbel? Good for him. And her. I hope they’ll be very happy. But is that what’s spurred you on, to go home?’ He stubbed out his cigarette. ‘Or, was it seeing Edinburgh again?’

‘Both, I think. Scott, I just know I don’t want to live all my life in the Highlands, but when I spoke to Ronan, he told me he could never leave.’

‘Even to be with you?’

‘Even to be with me. But then, it’s true, I’m not prepared to stay here for him.’

Scott said softly, ‘I’d go anywhere for you. You know that, eh?’

She nodded, rising, throwing away her half-smoked cigarette.