Another Chance (20 page)

"And you, Wade?  Would it make you happy if I went?"

His eyes darkened.  There wasn't a soul around but the two of them yet he whispered when he answered.

"Yes, Jillian.  It would make me happy if you came."

***

Wade loved this part of the day.  The chores were done; he was clean and could unwind from the day.  There wasn't anything calling to him, weren't a million things he needed to get to.

He could concentrate on his daughter and enjoy some quiet time with her.

Washed and in her nightgown, she snuggled her father as they enjoyed this time before she went to sleep.  They were sitting on her bed; the light from the lamp was as soft as the little hand that held his.

"Papa?  When do you think you'll want to get married again?"

Wade grimaced, glad Annabelle's head was against his shoulder so she couldn't see his face.  Yet he wasn't surprised at her question.  He'd evaded most of the ones she'd asked about kissing Jillian by telling her it wasn't appropriate for little girls to talk about kissing.  He knew it was only a matter of time until Annabelle got around to forming her questions in such a manner that her father would run out of excuses and have to answer.

"I'm not sure I want to marry again."

Annabelle sighed.  "It sure would be nice to have a mama like everybody else."

He couldn't help but smile.  She was clever, his Annabelle.

"You have me, Grandma, James and Scott.  Even Grandma Hollingsworth.  I know you're not lonely."

Another sigh.  "It's not the same."

"I know it's not, Button.  But we have a family and we need to be thankful for that."

She pushed herself back and looked into his eyes.  "I wouldn't mind if you married Miss Matthews."

Had he been standing his knees would have buckled.  Where had that come from?  Granted he'd been caught kissing Jillian, but marrying her?  Sweat beaded his upper lip and his heart gave a solid thump against his ribs.  Yes, she was beautiful.  And soft.  And the way her mouth moved with his, the way she'd leaned into him-

He shook his head.  Desirable or not, he couldn't take that road again.  Not after where the last one took him.  Heartbroken, widowed.  Ashamed.  Yet he couldn't tell his daughter any of that.

"I'm glad you like her, Annabelle, but I don't plan on marrying her."

"But you asked her to the dance, right, Papa?"

The gleam in her blue eyes and the curve of her mouth warned him that if he thought he had his hands full with her now, it would be nothing compared to what she'd be like once she got older.

"Grandma wanted me to," he said.  No way was he going to admit to her that he wanted Jillian there as well.  His daughter had enough ideas without planting more in her head.

"But you like her, don't you?  You'll dance with her, won't you?"

"Yes, Button, I'll dance with her."

"A lot?"

He shook his head.  "At least once," he said.

With another deep sigh, she resettled against her father.  He placed his cheek against her head, inhaled the innocence and sweetness of her.  He didn't blame her for wanting a mother.  And since Jillian was the first woman he'd kissed since Amy, he wasn't surprised that she'd come to the conclusion she had.  Still, despite his undeniable attraction to her, Jillian wasn't a woman he'd consider marrying.

She'd never give up being a doctor and he wouldn't play second fiddle again.  If he wasn't good enough-

Wade took a deep breath, let it out.  It didn't matter.

It wasn't as though he ever planned on proposing to Jillian.

***

Wade couldn't have heard Liam right.  Goddammit, he couldn't have heard right.

"You can't be serious," Wade said.

He and Scott had headed out after morning chores, each with a rope around the bull's neck, the big animal plodding along between the horses.  Since it wasn't far to Liam's Lazy J ranch, the air was still moist and cool when they rode onto Liam's land.

"Afraid so, Wade.  I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Wade gaped.  "We arranged this back in the winter.  We agreed to trade bulls when it was time to breed the cows again.  I won't have time to look for another one now, not if I want them bred soon."  He shoved his hat up his forehead so he could see Liam better.  "What the hell happened?"

The tall, bow-legged cowboy shrugged.  "Change of plans, is all."

Wade was fit to be tied.  It didn't take a whole lot of smarts to figure out what was going on.

"This is because of the town meeting, isn't it?  Because I stood behind my decision to hire Miss Matthews."

Liam kicked some dirt aside with his boot, looked out over his pastures.  "Look, Wade.  You do whatever you need to, whatever you feel is right, but the rest of us have got to do the same."

"What do you mean by that?" Scott asked.  Unlike Wade, Scott remained astride, his gloved hands holding tight to the bull's rope.

Liam squinted as he raised his eyes to Scott.  "I have a ranch to run, too, and I can't afford to be sentimental."  He turned back to Wade.  "I had a better offer.  Look, I'm sorry, I know you were counting on me, but I can't afford to pass it up."

The fields and pastures were green around Wade but all he saw was red.  He'd counted on this.  He'd planned on the new blood line, needed it as some of his heifers wouldn't be able to be bred now, not when they were the same blood as the bull.  It would mean yet more money lost if he couldn't breed all his heifers.

He dropped his head, heard Scott's muttered curses.

"Look, Wade, there's nothing more I can say.  I gotta get back to work."

Ambling back to his horse, Liam left Scott and Wade in stunned silence.

"That was a dirty bloody trick," Scott said.

Wade ran his hand down his face, struggled to hang on to the last threads of his temper.  Though there wasn't anything to be gained by it, he wanted nothing more than to charge after Liam and get in one good punch.  Did the man not realize the damage he'd done?

"I'm sorry, Wade.  But it's not too late, I can check around, Liam can't be the only one-"

"He is.  We checked back in the winter, remember?   Nobody else was willing to trade straight across."  And he didn't have any money to throw in to sweeten a deal, which is clearly what had changed Liam's mind.  And whoever made the deal would have known Wade had no way to counter offer.

Picturing the ledgers and knowing by the end of the day he'd be seeing yet more negative numbers, Wade felt sick.

Once Wade was back in the saddle, Scott tossed him his rope.  "Any idea who it was?" he asked.

"Not for sure, but I know it's all to do with Jillian."

"Because of the meeting?"

"Seems suspect, don't you think?  Liam doesn’t breathe a word about backing out of our arrangement and within a day of me defending Jillian suddenly he has a better offer?"

"Steven, then?"

"If not directly, then he was part of it."

They rode in silence back onto Parker land.  He wanted so much more for the ranch than what it was, but as determined as he was to make it better, fate seemed as determined to ensure it never happened.  He wouldn't have a new bull this year.  Hopefully next year.  In the meantime he had to cull the herd, move those heifers that couldn't be bred into a different pasture.  Then, come fall, whether he liked it or not as he couldn't afford to feed them all winter, he'd have to sell them.

It was money that could go to the debt, he told himself as they opened the pen and released the bull, but next year he'd have fewer calves, which meant even less money.

"You going to rest that foot for an hour or so?" Scott asked.

"Nah, it hardly hurts at all," Wade lied as his ankle throbbed and his boot fisted around it like a vise.  "Let's get James.  We have some heifers to move."

She'd heated water, washed and rinsed her hair.  She'd soaked in a rose-scented bath until the water was tepid and her fingers and toes looked like prunes.

Though it was neither practical nor needed to fuss with her hair on a daily basis, she nonetheless knew how and she drew upon that skill as she curled and pinned her hair.  Jillian didn't own a great many fancy dresses and she'd left all but two of them back in Pennsylvania, opting to bring the two that seemed best suited to a simpler way of life.

Taking the pale blue silk--which would match the ribbon she'd woven through the complicated tangle of curls--she laid it gently on her bed.  She wasn't putting it on until the animals were fed for the night, Hope was saddled, and she'd eaten her supper.

She pressed her hand against her belly where anxiousness grew.  It was silly to be this excited considering the reception she'd received at both the church picnic and the town meeting.  But then it wasn't those people she was anxious to see.

Silver would be there, as would Letty and Eileen.  They'd come to mean a great deal to her and she was looking forward to spending an evening with them.

As she ate a cold meal of bread, ham and cheese, she acknowledged that she wasn't fooling anyone, least of all herself.  She hadn't taken hours to ensure she looked her best for Silver's benefit.  It had been done with Wade in mind.  He'd said it would make him happy if she came to his dance.  In the hours and days since then, she'd clung to those words, along with how he'd looked at her with stormy eyes.  How that look had made her feel.

Like her feet couldn't quite touch the ground.  Like she couldn't quite catch her breath.  Like she'd never once felt before.

With her supper taken care of, though she'd barely done more than nibble at it, Jillian tidied the bit of mess she'd made then headed for the barn.

The evening was perfect for a dance.  The air was calm and warm.  Green and silver leaves spread wide, caught the sun's heat and shone their thanks.  Wildflowers staked their claim at the edge of the trees and filled the air with perfume.

Of course as Jillian neared the barn, the smell of hay, grain and soiled bedding competed with the blooms.  But she wouldn't be a veterinarian if she couldn't tolerate and accept all aspects of animals, and the ripe smell coming from the barn meant they were healthy.

Her step faltered.  She cleaned her stalls every morning and that morning hadn't been an exception.  Her barn never smelled this strong in the evening.  Knowing something was wrong, she grabbed her skirts and ran into the barn.

"Oh!"

Even with her hand covering her nose and mouth the stench burned her nose.  Which wasn't a surprise considering the amount of manure spread in the narrow aisle.  Jillian backed away until she was standing outside looking in.  The stench wasn't as bad in the open air and she was able to lower her hand.

As with the spilled feed, so too was this designed to irritate and poke at her.  It needed to be cleaned, and it couldn't wait until morning.  Which meant she'd get dirty and be late for the dance.

"They don't want me to go at all," she whispered, knowing that was the real reason for this mess.

Jillian looked toward her house, thought of the dress she'd laid out on her bed.  Her head fell forward a moment as she acknowledged just how late this would make her.

"Well, I don't need to be any later than that," she said as she climbed through Whiskers' stall, then Zeke's empty one to get to the shovels she kept at the other end.

"From now on, I'll keep one by the house."

Climbing back over was trickier holding the shovel and she was out of breath by the time she was once again outside.  Frustrated and irritated, she used that energy to scoop out the mess.  As she tossed shovelfuls into her wheelbarrow she couldn't help but take some solace in the fact that whoever had done this--and she knew it was likely Steven--had to have ridden over with it in a wagon of some sort.  Which meant they would have had to put up with the stench the whole way.  She hoped they smelled as awful as she knew she did.

When the barn was scraped clean and her animals were fed and secured for the night, she grabbed her saddle, leaving the barn door open to clear out the lingering smell.  She'd have to hurry, but she could still get to the dance.  It would mean washing in cold water as she didn't have time to heat it but-

The world seemed to shift sideways.  The door of her house gaped open.  And she knew she wasn't the one who'd left it that way.

Jillian swallowed the fear that bubbled in her throat.  She held her breath, strained to hear.  There wasn't a sound.  Yet someone was here.  She could feel it.  And her rifle was in her house.

"You'd better get your sorry self outside! I'm armed and I'm coming in!" she yelled for good measure.  Setting the saddle on the porch, Jillian pushed the door further open.

Her home was as it had been when she'd gone to the barn.  There was nothing amiss, nothing out of place.  Still, she grabbed the rifle, put it to her shoulder and closed the door firmly.  Armed, she headed for her bedroom.

There was no missing it.

Jillian's arm went limp and she brought the gun down weakly to her side.  She blinked but what she saw didn't change.  From the open window--the one she knew she'd closed--came the racing sound of hooves running away.  She didn't bother looking out.  Couldn't.