Another Dawn (16 page)

“Her fever is a hundred and one.” I could hear my niece’s screams in the background. “She started crying around midnight and hasn’t stopped. She just cries and cries and cries. I can’t seem to comfort her no matter what I do. The doctor stopped by yesterday and said her ears were clear.”

My worst nightmare was coming true. “Have you had any sleep?”

“Are you kidding? Can you hear that?” The crying got louder for a few seconds, so I’m assuming Jana held the phone a little closer to Hannah. “I don’t know what to do for her. The Tylenol and Advil aren’t really bringing her temperature down much.”

“Jana, why don’t I come over there for a while? I’ll walk around with her and Dylan can try to entertain her a bit, and you can lie down and get some rest.”

“Dylan?”

“He’s not contagious anymore—not that I guess it matters much at this point anyway. He loves Hannah so much, and he does seem to have the ability to perk her up.”

“At this point, I suppose it may be our only chance to spend time together. I’d love a little company.”

I felt the tears sting my eyes. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know, I know.”

An hour later, I pulled up at my sister’s house, my father and Dylan in tow. Jana met me at the front door, her face pale, huge dark circles under her eyes. Hannah, who was crying inconsolably, was propped against her shoulder. “If you think she’s fussy now, you should see what happens when I try to put her down.” She bounced up and down in a rhythmic pattern. “You just don’t feel good, do you, darling?” Hannah’s crying perhaps softened a little, but it still was shrill enough to leave no doubt in anyone’s mind that she didn’t feel well.

“The poor thing.” I looked at my sister. “And you must be exhausted.”

She walked back inside, taking bouncing steps in an effort to quiet Hannah. “My sweet darling, I can’t get her to eat or drink anything. Even apple juice, which she’ll usually suck down in about half a minute flat. I hope this stage doesn’t last much longer.”

“Hi, Hannah Rose, hey there, girl.” Dylan followed Jana inside, pulling gently at Hannah’s hand. Her crying turned into a mild whimper as she turned to look at him.

His rash had faded and turned a bit brown, but it still covered a good bit of the skin on his face, arms, and legs. “Don’t worry, Hannah. You’ll be all better soon. Just like me.” Dylan coughed into his elbow, then stood on his tiptoes trying to get closer to his cousin. “We can be spotted together. I’ll help you through it. Don’t you worry.”

As if on cue, Hannah started crying again. It was heartbreaking to hear, especially knowing that she hadn’t seen the worst of it yet. She paused in her cries only long enough to cough, then resumed with full volume.

My father groaned as he lowered himself into an overstuffed chair. “That kid sounds just like her aunt Grace sounded the day we told her she wasn’t getting a pony for Christmas.”

“Hey, I wanted that pony. I deserved that pony.” I had never been more grateful to my father than at this moment, with his attempt to bring humor into a situation that clearly had none. It took a great amount of energy to play along, but I wanted to do whatever I could to cheer Jana up, even if only a small amount.

“Sure you did. It had been a full three weeks since you’d had to stay after school for detention.”

“The only reason I got detention was because that Kendra Jenkins was always talking about her pony and being all hoity-toity about it. I can’t help it if my hands just reached out and shoved her down a couple of times. She was lucky it wasn’t a punch to the mouth.”

My father laughed. “Lucky is right. I’ve seen you punch mouths for less.”

I looked toward my sister, hoping she was preparing to join in the conversation. Somehow everyone in the family was always willing to jump in on the Grace-was-such-a-wild-child conversation. Instead, I found her staring out the window, bouncing Hannah, and seemingly oblivious to the fact that we were even there, much less engaged in an attempt to lift her spirits. I reached out my hands. “Why don’t you give Hannah to me? You go take a nap, or a hot bath, or whatever you think would make you feel better.”

She looked at me blankly but did hand me Hannah, who started to cry all that much louder when I took the place of her mother. I could see the indecision on Jana’s face. “She’ll be just fine, Jana. A couple of minutes and she’ll be fine.”

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t worry, Aunt Jana, I’ll make her happy. Remember, Uncle Rob said I could be her nanny. Bring her down here, Mommy.”

I sat in a chair, holding Hannah in my lap, and began to bounce her on my knees. Dylan got right in her face. “Bwww, bwww.” Hannah stopped crying for a few seconds and looked at him. “Bwww, bwww. Remember?” He put his nose only inches from hers.

“Okay.” Jana started down the hall, moving more like a zombie than the perky woman I knew and loved.

Ring
.

Jana returned to the living room and picked up the handset. “Hello.” She listened a bit and closed her eyes, nodding. “I was afraid of that.” She dropped into a chair. “Okay, I’ll give them a call.” She pushed the button and set the phone on the end table. “Ryan and Emma both have fevers now. That leaves only Hunter and Kelsey, and no one has heard from them either way.” Thoroughly defeated, she headed to the bath.

I took Hannah out into the backyard, thinking the warmth of the day might help calm her. Dylan followed close on my heels. “Let me play with her, Mama, let me play.” Dylan coughed twice, then continued, “Please, it’s my turn.”

“Just a minute. Let me try to get her calmed down first. Okay?”

“Should I get the stroller? We could take her for a walk around the block.”

“She can’t leave her yard, honey. How about we play on the swing set?” Hannah had barely been home from the hospital before Rob was busy installing the latest greatest backyard play structure. I had laughed about it at the time, but now, looking at how he’d replaced one of the regular swings with a secured baby swing, I saw the genius of it.

“Why can’t she leave her yard?” Dylan took a seat in the swing beside hers and used his feet to push gently off the ground.

“Well, because she has the measles, just like you did, and they don’t want her to give it to someone else.” I locked the safety belt around Hannah’s waist and gave a gentle push. She continued to cry, but it seemed to lessen.

“Did I give the measles to Hannah Rose?” He looked at his cousin, his blue eyes huge with angst.

“Well, in a manner of speaking. She probably got the germs from you.”

“I didn’t mean to, Mommy.”

“Oh, I know that, sweetie, and so does Hannah Rose, don’t you worry. Remember how after the doctor told us you had the measles, we didn’t leave the house? It’s the same thing. Once you know you’re sick with something that other people might catch, you just have to stay at home until you’re not sick with it anymore.”

“Why didn’t I stay at home before I gave the germs to Hannah Rose?”

“We didn’t even know you were sick then. Remember?”

“Okay.” He chewed on his bottom lip. “Mama, what’s a germ?”

“Well, it’s a tiny little—”

“I’m surprised you have the nerve to show your face around here.” The voice called from a distance away. I looked toward the house next door. I saw a woman I vaguely recognized standing on the back porch, fists firmly planted on ample hips.

“What’s she talking about, Mama?” Dylan put his feet down and stopped swinging, focusing every bit of his energy into watching the scene that was unfolding.

“I don’t know.” I spoke loud enough for her to hear, then turned my back toward her.

“I’m talking about my niece, Kelsey Whyte, who was admitted to the hospital last night.”

That turned me around. “The hospital?”

“Yes, she was so dehydrated it took them over an hour to get an IV in her little veins. Her fever has been hovering around a hundred and three, and she hasn’t been able to eat or drink for two days.”

I thought about what Jana had said about Hannah not drinking. Alarms started going off that I didn’t want to listen to. I knew I should respond to this, to say something about how I hoped Kelsey got better, or maybe even that I was praying for her. At least something to the effect that I was sorry. But none of that would come out of my mouth. I just kind of choked and said, “Come on, Dylan, let’s go inside.” I grabbed Hannah out of the baby swing, bumping her leg against the restraint in the process, which brought her to a renewed bout of tears. Finally the screen door slammed behind us.

“What’s the matter with you? You look like the headless horseman is on your tail.” My father looked up from the chair, where he’d obviously been napping.

“Aunt Jana’s neighbor is mad at Mama.” Dylan wrapped his arms around my leg, and I realized he was frightened by the whole episode. “Her niece is in the hospital. They had to poke her with needles for a long time.”

My father looked up at me, a question in his eyes. I bounced Hannah and shrugged. “Kelsey Whyte.”

“Ah, another of the Mohicans has bitten the dust, eh? We knew that was going to happen, right?”

Jana’s phone rang. She came walking down the hall in a terry robe with a towel wrapped around her head. “I feel better—it’s amazing what a warm shower can do. Thanks.” She sort of smiled at me as she picked up the phone. “Hello?

“Sonja, I am not going to put up with any more of that kind of talk. You know it was unintentional. You know that her son has been sick—” She listened to what was being said on the other end of the line. “Oh, I didn’t realize. Her kidneys? Really?” Jana walked over to me and reached for Hannah, took her in her arms and squeezed her tight. “Please keep me informed, and please tell Bev I’m praying for them.” Jana hung up, the color drained from her face. “That was Sonja, my next-door neighbor.”

I looked at her. “Yeah, we met.”

Jana nodded once. “So I gathered.”

“What about Kelsey’s kidneys?”

“When they admitted her to the hospital, they drew some blood work. I guess one of the tests came back that there might be something going on with her kidneys. Sonja said it could just be because she’s so dehydrated, but they won’t be sure until this afternoon or maybe tomorrow whether or not there is permanent damage.” She shook her head. “What a mess this is. What a complete and utter mess.”

“Hopefully we’re seeing the worst of it,” I said. I had little faith that my words were true.

My cell phone started singing Jasmine’s ring tone. Maybe I wouldn’t answer it. I just didn’t need one more complication right now.
I wanna be a paperback writer. Paperback writer. Paperback, paperback, paperback writer
.

Jana, my father, Dylan, and even baby Hannah were all looking at me. Looking toward the phone in my hand, their expressions ranging from expectant to annoyed. At least Hannah was intrigued enough to stop crying for a minute. I slid the phone open.

“Hello, Jasmine.”

“Hi, Grace. I’m wondering if you have made arrangements to get back here early. Like today, hopefully, tomorrow at the latest.”

I looked at my sister, bouncing the once again crying baby Hannah in her arms, and I thought about Kelsey in the hospital with the same disease now claiming my niece. “Not yet, but I’ll start working on it.” How could anyone blame me for going back and doing what I could to save my job? I got up and walked out into my sister’s garage so I could talk in privacy.

“Why haven’t you been working on it before now? We were just talking about it.”

“Jasmine, do you remember when I told you that Dylan was not feeling well last week?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it turns out, he has the measles.”

“You’re kidding me. That is so weird.”

“It’s more than weird. It’s awful.”

“I didn’t mean that him having the measles was weird. What I meant was, my friend Tina—you met her, right? When she stopped by the office for a while? Her son Michael came down with measles a couple of weeks ago—right about the time you left for Tennessee, I guess.”

Michael. Michael. “Was he the redheaded kid?” I pictured Tina’s long wavy hair and Birkenstock sandals.

“Yes. They were spending a few days camping along the California coast and dropped in for a visit. He wasn’t feeling well that day so they didn’t stay long.”

“Yeah, I remember. I met them as they were loading into the car. Dylan was with me that day. . . .” I thought back to what I knew to be the incubation period for measles. I started counting backward on my fingers. “That’s what happened.” I dropped onto the steps that led into the house.

“What do you mean?”

“Dylan caught the measles from Michael. The health department has been trying like mad to find out where he might have gotten it.”

“Dylan didn’t go anywhere near Michael, did he?”

“No, I’m pretty sure he didn’t. But the droplets remain alive for up to two hours while they are airborne. I’m guessing Michael spent some time in the office?”

“Yes, he was playing with the magnetic building set I keep in there.”

“Right, and that’s where Dylan went only moments later. I’ll bet Tina and Michael live in Oregon.”

“Ashland.” She said it with a hint of resignation in her voice. “Michael was one of the first American kids to get sick. They’ve traced the outbreak to some tourists from somewhere in Europe.”

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s fine now. How about Dylan?”

“He’s not contagious anymore and his rash is starting to fade. He’s feeling much better.”

“So then why can’t you get here early?”

“I’m not saying that I can’t. I’m just saying I haven’t finalized the plans yet. Dylan has only been clear to travel since yesterday. Now my niece has it. She’s just an infant—too young to have been vaccinated yet, and her mother would have vaccinated. Things can get a lot worse for her. I think maybe I need to stay here and help my sister, make certain everything is going to be okay.”

“Let me get this straight. Dylan is fine, your father is doing better, your niece is sick with a disease that was a rite of passage for children until just a few decades ago, and you don’t want to leave because you’re afraid that she might be one of the rare exceptions who gets seriously ill?”

I leaned my back against the door that led to my sister’s house. I knew that there was a lot of truth to what Jasmine was saying. I also knew that one of the babies my son had infected had already proven to be an exception. “There’s one baby already in the hospital—a baby that was exposed by Dylan.”

“Hospital? Why would he be hospitalized for the measles?”

“Haven’t you been watching the news? Several kids in Ashland are in the hospital. The same story as here, I guess. The baby was admitted for high fever and dehydration.”

“Thank goodness it’s nothing too serious.”

Nothing too serious?
I supposed that by clinical definition high fever and dehydration didn’t sound all that bad, until you’d lived it, that is. “She’s sick enough to need a hospital. That should tell you something about it being serious enough. My niece has had the tendency to get ill easily anyway, and I’m afraid for her.”

“But your staying there won’t change things for her one way or the other. By contrast, your coming back early could be just the little extra I need to get this place sold. You owe me that.”

Hannah finally fell asleep in Jana’s arms, and though it took some doing, I convinced my sister she needed some rest, as well. Despite my promise to watch Hannah closely, Jana only agreed to sleep if she were near her daughter, so we fixed up a pallet on the living room floor for Hannah, and Jana curled up on the couch nearby. Within minutes, both were asleep.

The silence felt eerie.

I herded Dylan and Dad into the den for some more television. I’d given up trying to enforce the time limits Dylan normally obeyed at home. These were not normal times.

With
Bob the Builder
onscreen, I left the men to their show and crept back into the living room and sat beside my sleeping niece, so worried about what might happen to her. Had I been wrong? Was all this because of a mistake I made?

With nothing to do but sit in the quiet room and listen to the warring voices in my head, they became deafening in their noise. I needed to do something to keep my mind busy.

That’s when I noticed Jana’s laptop sitting on the far table. I tiptoed across the room and turned it on, thankful to see that it automatically connected to her home wireless. I started to look up more facts about measles, but determined not to do anything that would further my feeling of guilt. So I began to do some mindless Web surfing. I examined clothes I couldn’t afford, and looked at reviews of books I wouldn’t have time to read.

Then I went to American Airlines Web site, looking to see what kinds of flights might be available tomorrow. Not necessarily planning to do anything, mind you, just looking. There was one flight available late tomorrow afternoon,
if
I chose to change my tickets.

What was the right thing to do here? I looked toward my sleeping sister and knew she was glad that I was here, but I also knew she was harboring more than a little resentment toward me right now—as were many people in this town. Would it be better for all concerned if I got out of here?

I closed the laptop and stretched, then walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Today’s
Shoal Creek Advocate
was sitting on the kitchen counter, folded neatly. In spite of myself, I flipped it open and went to the TalkBack section, a temptation I had resisted at Dad’s house this morning.

The Truth About Vaccines

Unfortunately, today’s society is more influenced by anecdotal stories than hard scientific fact.

Fact: The Wakefield study which showed a possible link between the MMR and autism involved twelve children.

Fact: A subsequent study in Denmark of over 500,000 children showed absolutely no difference in autism rates in children who did receive the MMR and those who did not.

Fact: A study involving 1.8 million people in Finland showed absolutely no link between autism and the MMR.

Fact: Even Wakefield did not advocate ceasing to vaccinate. His stated theory was that splitting the vaccines into three separate shots and giving them over a longer range of time would be less toxic.

Fact: Eight months before this paper was published, he applied for a patent for a “measles only” single-virus vaccine. A conflict of interest if ever there was one.

Fact: Japan started giving the measles, mumps, and rubella as three separate shots in 1993. Autism rates in the aftermath did not fall. To the contrary, in the years that followed, autism rates in Japan appeared to rise.

Fact: Too many Americans base their decisions about these kinds of issues on video they’ve seen on YouTube, on a flawed and eventually retracted paper that studied all of twelve children, and on whispered stories from the friend of a friend.

Question: How many innocent people are going to suffer because of some parents’ decisions to believe YouTube over world-renowned scientists?

Dr. Joe Earl Stern

How could the people of Shoal Creek not hate me after reading that article? Even knowing what I knew, I hated myself after reading it. I slid open my cell phone and placed a call. “Yes, my son and I have tickets on a flight Saturday. I was hoping to see about getting them changed to tomorrow afternoon.”

“Wow, I cannot believe she’s still asleep,” Jana whispered as she sat up on the couch and stretched. “What time is it?”

I looked at my watch. “Three o’clock. You slept for a couple of hours.”

“Wow.” She looked toward her daughter. “I’m glad she was finally able to get some rest.”

“I’m glad you were, too. You need to keep up your strength.”

She nodded. “I do feel better. Thanks for coming over.”

“I’m glad I could. Do you want me to stay here tonight and help you?”

“No, that’s okay. I think Rob and I can handle it.”

“How about tomorrow morning? I really want to see you a little more before I leave.”

“What do you mean?” Her voice got gravelly as she sensed the truth.

I swallowed hard, trying to get up the nerve to tell her what I was about to say. “It turns out that Dylan and I are going to have to leave tomorrow afternoon. Jasmine needs me back at work. It’s an emergency. She called and begged me to get back as soon as I could.”

“How long ago did you decide this?” Her voice was hard now.

“She called a few days ago, but obviously I couldn’t travel with Dylan until Tuesday, and I didn’t want to leave until I knew Dad was going to be okay without me. He can get by without his walker now, and he’ll be able to drive by this weekend. I’ll stock him up with groceries and he’ll be fine.”

“Your boss needing you is not what this is about and you know it.”

“Of course it is. She’s trying to sell the bed-and-breakfast. A deal fell through, and now there’s a new buyer on the way. She needs help getting ready.”

“This is about things getting hard here and you running.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes it is, and if you’re telling yourself anything else, then you’re lying to yourself.” I looked at her and saw her glaring—actually glaring—at me, something I rarely if ever saw from Jana. “Why don’t you go ahead and leave now? Take your son and go back to California and stay there. The rest of us would be better off without you around. We need someone we can count on, and that person is obviously not you.”

Tears were streaming down my face with the sting of her words. Still, I was angry enough that I was ready to call her bluff. I walked over to the sunken den and leaned down. “Okay, fellas, we’re heading back to Dad’s house. Come load up.”

My father looked up. “Do what?” When he saw my face, he put his hands on the arm of his chair and pushed himself up. “Come on, Dylan, we’ve got to get moving.”

“Aw, the show’s not over yet. Besides, Mama said we were going to stay here and fix dinner for Aunt Jana.”

“Plans have changed, Dylan. Now turn off the TV. We’ve got to get moving.”

“You don’t have to be so grumpy about it,” he said, without ever taking his eyes off the television.

“Dylan, that is not an acceptable way to—”

Hannah started screaming from the living room. I looked at my sister. “Do you need—”

Jana walked away from me, not bothering to turn as she called out, “Show yourself out.”

End of conversation.