Anthology Complex (32 page)
Authors: M.B. Julien
A few days later, Mary comes home with her son. Her sisters accompany
her, along with her father. One of her sisters comes to my apartment to let me
know that every thing went fine and asks if I want to come up to see Anthony. I
tell her that I would love to. I actually do want to.
I get up there and greet every one, and then I see Mary holding her son,
Anthony. She holds him out to me and gives me the chance to hold him. I take
him, and I swear I have no idea what's going on. Every one is just smiling, the
baby is just silent. It's like one of my bizarre silent dreams.
Even though Anthony fought to stay alive, there is a good chance he will
have developmental problems. Holding Anthony reminds me of a dream I had where
I learn that you don't need religion to be a good person. You just simply need
to come face to face with the evil in the world. Think of it as Newton's third
law, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. A lady gets
raped and a year later she opens up a support group for women who have been
raped.
After a while I leave her apartment and go back to mine. I go to my
bedroom and go to the window and look down the street, thinking of Mary and her
transformation. Wondering if the light of Anthony can keep her warm and calm.
Now the Sun has my attention and I stare at it through the window for a while.
I'm staring at the Sun, mom. I lift up my window and get rid of the glass that
protects my eyes from the Sun, and then I really stare it.
As I'm staring at it, I think of my childhood and how every time I'd
look up at the sky my mother would tell me not to stare at the Sun. I listened
and looked back down even if I was actually staring at the clouds and not the
Sun.
You find yourself staring at the Sun for too long and you start to
compare where you are mentally now as opposed to where you were mentally as a
child. You slowly begin to realize that the Sun is the same, in a relative way,
but you're older. Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death.
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