Anti-Stepbrother (24 page)

I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. I sat there, and after a few more beats of silence, my dad murmured, “Summer, let’s give you a ride back. Sheila and I need to go to the hotel. It seems we have some things to discuss.”

I got up. “No. That’s okay. I can call a friend. You guys talk.”

“Are you sure?” His hand covered mine. He squeezed. “Your mother, your stepmother, and I love you very much. I never want you to feel like a burden.”

Sheila couldn’t stop the tears now. At my dad’s words, they rolled freely.

“I know, Dad.” I felt my own tears building. I covered his hand with my free one and squeezed. “I’ve never felt that way.”

“Good.” His voice had grown hoarse, and he seemed to be struggling as he smiled. He squeezed my hand once more. “Good.”

“I’m, uh, going to go. I’ll get a ride.”

I gave both a reassuring smile, but it didn’t matter. Sheila looked broken. It was the first time I’d seen my stepmother anything other than bubbling and happy. It tore at me, but when I stepped outside and saw Kevin, I knew he was broken as well.

He was waiting on the curb, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slumped forward. He stared at the ground, and I could see the little boy inside of him, the one who’d been hurt by his mother.

I took in a breath.

He glanced over and grimaced. “She never wanted to talk about him, and I finally snapped today.”

I lifted a shoulder. “You’re still a cheating jackass, and you were a jerk inside, but I was the bitch first this time.”

“You’re not a bitch.”

“I was today.”

He smiled. “Maybe you should be more often.”

“What do you mean?”

“You liked fighting in there, didn’t you?”

I shrugged. “It wasn’t for a good reason. I don’t really know why I was doing it.”

He laughed, but it sounded sad. “I do. You got sick of the shit that they won’t talk about. Your mom died, and she’s barely talked about. My parents divorced, and my mom acts like my dad doesn’t exist. I took my anger out on you instead of focusing on her from the start. I really am sorry, Summer.”

My heart felt tugged all over the place. “I like your mom.”

A second laugh came from him, this one a bit more lighthearted. “I do too, but she hasn’t wanted to deal with divorcing my dad, and she has to. It’s hurting me. She can’t sweep it under the rug. I let her get away with it, and that’s on me. Talking to her didn’t work. Screaming didn’t work. So I tried ignoring her back. I ignored the whole situation.” He snorted again. “We both know where that ended up—you and me in bed because I finally noticed you that night, and I wasn’t ready.”

I looked up to find him staring at me. There was a look in his eye I wasn’t sure I wanted to see. My mouth dried up.

“I wasn’t prepared for you when I saw you, when I
finally
saw you,” he said softly. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Did you mean it? What you said in there about Banks—or do you really like him?”

I…wasn’t prepared for that question. I kicked at the ground, unsure what to say.

“Or were you trying to get a rise out of me?”

The corner of my mouth lifted. He could take that as the answer.

He let out a sigh. “I lost my chance with you, didn’t I?”

This was what I’d wanted, for so damned long. Here it was—right in front of me. Looking back at me. Those words… My chest swelled tight. I could only swallow a lump in my throat.

“You’re saying this to me now?” I didn’t want to hear it, but I didn’t know why. It wasn’t about any feelings for him. It was something else…

“I know. Bad timing, right?”

I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. “Take it back.”

“What?”

“Take it back. What you just said, take it back. Say you didn’t mean it.” My lungs burned. “Say you’re just doing what you do. You’re playing with me. You’re testing to see if I still have feelings. That you don’t mean it, and you’re actually being cruel. Really, truly cruel right now.”

“I’m not—”

“Say it!”

A car pulled up in front of us. Music blared out the windows, and Maggie’s voice came from inside, “Kevin?”

He continued to look at me.

I couldn’t look away.

“Hey!”

Then he murmured, “I can’t lie anymore. I can’t take it back.”

I heard a whooshing sound as all the air left my lungs.

Kevin walked around the car and got in on the passenger side. He never looked at Maggie. His eyes held mine the entire time, and even as she pulled away, he watched me as he left.

I felt a void in my center that was the size of an ocean. I think it had been there the whole time.

I could’ve called Avery. I should’ve, but I didn’t. Caden said he’d been driving home anyway so he pulled up in front of me ten minutes later.

“Yeah. I’m rethinking this now,” I told him.

His eyebrows lifted. “This?” He pointed between us. “Us?”

“Calling you.”

He motioned me to get in. “Come on. Let’s head back.”

Once I got inside and he pulled away, I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “Are
you
rethinking us?”

“Our friendship?”

“Of course.” I tucked my hands behind me. “What else is there to rethink?”

He studied me a moment before pulling ahead at an intersection. He didn’t respond, not the entire time it took to get to his place. We went inside, and he looked at his bedroom. His head turned back toward me, and I saw the teasing grin.

“I’m not sure what you mean by rethinking us, but I was hoping for another round. You game?”

Yep. I definitely called the wrong person. “I think Kevin has feelings for me.”

“Fuck.” He turned and headed for the bedroom. “Now I get your drift.”

“Should I stay?”

He motioned for me to follow. “Sure. Pretend I’m your girlfriend. Call me Carrie tonight.”

“Are you serious?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

He sighed as I sat across from him. “So the stepbrother reared back up, huh?”

There were knots galore in my stomach, but I had to talk to him. Avery was a friend, but Caden was…more. I didn’t know what more, but I wanted to be here, with him, having him listen to me.

I nodded and spilled everything. I was talking about Kevin, but he wasn’t what I really wanted to talk about. The other thing scared me. I didn’t know if I could talk about it. My hands twisted together on my lap, and I had formed a new yoga pose by the time I was done.

“What do you think?” I asked.

“You called me.”

“Yeah.”

“You told me this stuff.”

I wasn’t sure if these were questions, but I nodded again, just going with it. “I sure did.”

“And you know I’m not a bullshitter.”

“It’s part of your intrigue.” I waved a hand at him. “It completes the whole intimidation factor. Also makes girls wet their pants for you.”

That didn’t even faze him. He didn’t blink. “So I’m going to give you my honest opinion.”

“Oh.” Now I could see where this was leading. “Okay. Yeah. Give it to me straight.”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“What?”

He got up for a beer, placing one in front of me as well when he returned. “That’s why you came to me. You know you’re being an idiot, so stop being an idiot.”

“How am I being an idiot?”

“Why are you talking to me about your asshole stepbrother? You might’ve had feelings for him before, but I know you. Those are long gone, so what’s really going on here?”

My lip twitched.

“What?”

“That used to be my name for you. Asshole.” I sighed, taking a sip of my beer. “Those were the good old times.”

“Kevin’s a better fit for the name.”

“It’s a term of endearment now for me.”

He scowled. “Really? You want to waste your time talking about him? Fine. I’ll indulge you.” He rolled his eyes. “I bet you $500 he has a new girl by next month.”

“That’s a week away.”

“My bet still stands. And that girl won’t be you. He’s moving out.”

I frowned. “From Maggie’s?”

He shrugged. “I’m assuming. He wants a house meeting. He’s going to ask to come back.”

“Are you sure? I mean, are you sure that’s what he’s going to say?”

“He has to give the reason for a meeting, and since he was never officially kicked out, we have to let the meeting happen.”

He was leaving Maggie… No, he was leaving Maggie’s home. Why did I not want him to do that?

I twisted my fingers together. “Are you going to let him come back?”

“Me? Fuck no. The guys? Probably. We’re big on second chances here. A lot of the guys get arrested for stupid shit.”

“If he moves out, that means they’re breaking up.”

“Exactly.” His eyes hardened. “Don’t tell me I’m wrong and you’re hoping to be the next girl. You just looked like a starving squirrel who saw its first nut.”

I scowled. “What? No, I’m not.”

He sighed in disgust. “He’s not going to marry you.”

“I don’t want marriage. I don’t want anything. I’m over him.”

“Well, something’s going on with you.” He groaned. “Don’t date him. He’s a six-month guy. He dates a girl—”

“I know.”

My hands were wrapped so tightly around each other, a paperclip couldn’t have gotten in between them. He was right. God, he was right. “I don’t have feelings for Kevin.”

My chest burned. I felt that void opening even more.

“Right.” His tone softened. “That’s why you look like you’re going to cry.”

“I’m crying for the squirrel.”

“Summer.”

“It must’ve been so hungry.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head. Enough with the nonsense. A different feeling descended on us, and I had to be honest too. My throat felt raw.

“I don’t have feelings for Kevin, but…” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what was going on myself. I just felt that ache inside of me. It was so deep, all the way to my core.

I couldn’t feel that. I’d talk about Kevin. Somehow he helped cover that up.

“He was the popular guy. I was a nobody. Every girl wanted him, but he was going to be
my
stepbrother. I thought it was meant to be. Fate put us together. I was so sure of it. I mean, what else could it have been, right?”

I laughed, then cringed, hearing how hollow it sounded. “I waited. I just kept waiting. He had one girlfriend, then another, and he was with a third when he went to college. It was like he couldn’t stand to be alone. They always had to be with him at the house, but my graduation night…”

I’d stood there in my graduation robe. My hat was on, the tassel hanging in front of me. When I saw him sneak in through the back door, my heart had squeezed. I’d just known. He was there for me. It meant something.

“He came alone. That meant he didn’t have a girlfriend. And that night… We were in the hallway.” I winced, remembering it clearly now. “I was the one standing there stupidly. I kept staring at him, and he stared back.” His bedroom had been behind me. “But he was just waiting to go to his room. That’s all he was doing.” My bedroom was up the stairs behind him. “I was drunk, and I just kept staring.” Then he’d touched me on the shoulder. “I thought he was making a move.” His hand had grazed my shoulder, but I closed the distance. I’d felt something else that night, a pain I didn’t comprehend. I couldn’t comprehend. “I kissed him. I made the first move. He just—” helped cover up that emptiness in me.

“Took advantage of you.”

“No. He’d been drinking. We were both drinking.”

“You were drunk.”

“So was he—”

“Matthews doesn’t drink to get drunk.”

“What?”

Caden shook his head, hard-pressed rage barely blanketed in his eyes. “He drinks one or two. That’s it. I’ve never seen him drunk, or heard about him being drunk.”

“Ever?” My mouth felt dry.

“Ever.” His jaw clenched. “He holds a drink all night long because it helps loosen girls up. If they think he’s drinking…”

“…then they’ll drink.”

He’d had a beer all night at Clarissa’s graduation party. “I thought he had a new beer every time I saw him.” My hand had brushed against it when he’d put it on the counter before we left. “The bottle was warm.”

“He knows what he’s doing with girls, Summer.” Caden leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “Did he say he had feelings for you?”

“I wasn’t prepared for you when I saw you.”

My hands were sweating. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t the reason for this conversation anyway. That ache in me…

“You know he’s a bad guy. You know he’s a serial dater. You know he doesn’t date longer than six months. You know all this. If he was so serious, why did he leave with someone else?”

I nodded with each statement. “I know all these things. You’re right.”

“Don’t fall for him.”

The truth bloomed in my chest. It was the way he’d said those words:
fall for him
. He wasn’t Kevin. He was about as far from Kevin as it was possible to get—the anti-stepbrother. Kevin was a flashy light. He was the bobber on a hook, distracting the fish so they’d get caught.

Caden was so much more. He was the real deal. Suddenly that ache in me took on a different form of pain. It throbbed, and I felt a slice of panic.