Anything but Minor (31 page)

Heavy, that’s the only way to describe the feeling throughout my body as I made my way past the game day flags and toward the entrance where I spotted Dutch. Her eyes scanned the crowd with hope until they landed on me. Her lips turned upward into a soft smile as I read her posture. She was sure I wouldn’t show.

Andy was the reason I was there. Throughout the day, I couldn’t imagine walking up the steps into the stadium without seeing the pitcher with the sharp eyes that I was madly in love with taking the field.

For Andy. This is for Andy.

The day after Rafe left, Andy had gone to the team manager, Jon, and asked for release from his contract. We were all surprised when he’d decided to end his last season early, and even more so when he’d mentioned they’d granted his request. We knew Andy was intent on quitting ball and dedicated to Rafe’s promotion, but it wasn’t until then that we knew just how much. Andy had surprised us all with his determination to end his career on his terms, in his time. What was even more surprising was that he could have easily been asked to the show with his record breaking stats this season. Rafe was still fuming over his decision and had told me as much in our last conversation.

The burn in my chest intensified as Dutch greeted me with a nod, and I lifted each foot with dread. Rafe was gone and would miss his best friend’s last game. I let a tear trail down my face as I thought of everything that happened since I saw the flyer and trusted it to lead me where I needed to go.

My heartbreak cursed the damned insanity of needing to belong that day because I was searching for something...someone to belong to...and I’d found it with Rafe.

“He’s going to hate not being here,” Dutch remarked as we took our seats.

I nodded, unable to mask the pain that festered inside me, threatening to rear its ugly head at any moment. It had only been weeks and I felt like the only life I’d ever wanted had been taken away.

“Do you want a beer?” Dutch offered as I looked over at her.

I stood, looking for any excuse to keep from roaming the field and coming up empty. “I’ll go.”

“Stay where you are, missy,” she ordered. “I can handle it.”

“I’m sorry I’ll be such poor company. Let me treat.” I handed Dutch a twenty as I resumed my seat. She looked down at me with a sad twist of her lips and gentle eyes.

“I saw it, you know. I saw it the minute you two looked at each other. It was something to see. I don’t think you’re alone in feeling the way you are right now.”

I wiped a lone tear from underneath my eye and nodded with a forced smile. “Thank you...f-for saying that. Go get that beer and let’s toast to Andy.”

“Coming up, missy,” she said as she pinched the bridge of my ball cap and jiggled it a bit.

“Dutch?”

“Yeah,” she replied quickly, her eyes covered in concern. I could feel her need to console me, and I hated that I was making a game that hadn’t even begun so damned depressing.

“Thank you for this. Thank you for letting me sit in Herb’s chair.”

Dutch simply nodded before she moved to climb the few steps to reach the walkway that led to the concession stands.

“Ladddies and gentlemen, please rise for our national anthem!”

I stood with my hand over my disintegrated heart and glanced at my phone before I tucked it away in my pocket. I hadn’t heard a word from him today. I knew he was busy getting acclimated with his surroundings and his new team, but I felt so disconnected from him already, so uncertain about our future. His words ran on repeat in my head.

“No end, Alice. No end.”

I nodded as if he’d just whispered it to me. I was losing it, and I was doing it with an audience. Everyone around me glanced my way from time to time, no longer strangers but my true community. I looked to my right at the family man, who had attended nearly as many games as I had. He looked on at me with sympathy as his blond baby slept in his lap. He winked in reassurance, and I nodded with a disgraceful smile.

I heard the announcer start to tick off the lineup and took a deep breath.

“Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we salute number three, Andrew Pracht!”

I looked over to Andy as he took the field and waved to the roaring crowd. Minutes passed as the entire stadium stood and said goodbye to one of their favorites. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I clapped and whistled before I raised my hat in the air. Andy’s eyes found mine and he lifted his hat up with a smile, a testament to our friendship. I laughed with pride as Dutch made her way back to us with frothy beers. We toasted to number three as we watched nine innings of Andy’s best ball. He’d placed two runners at base and scored the point with a homerun in the eighth inning that won the Swampgators his final game. And in the time the first pitch was thrown to the minute I watched Andy stomp across home plate, I forgot about my aching heart.

Realization dawned as I turned to Dutch. “I’m in love with baseball.”

“I know,” she said without an ounce of surprise.

“I didn’t,” I said with a smile. “You wise old lady,” I cracked as I gave her the elbow. “What else do you know?”

“Hush,” she said as she nodded and the Gators took the field with Andy on their shoulders to give him one last walk around. Dutch and I raised hell as he looked over the crowd with appreciation and longing. When the field began to empty, I sat with Dutch as the crowd dispersed.

“It really is over,” I said as I looked over at Dutch and cursed the fresh tears that brewed in my eyes.

“It’s not over,” she said as she looked on at the field. “The season isn’t—”

The absence of light cut her off as the whole stadium went black. The announcer remained silent, which puzzled us all, and I heard a few people in the crowd voice their distaste.

“What the
hell
?”

“I can’t see shit. They should at least give us a few minutes to get to the lot. Turn on your cell phone light—”

Then it hit. One guitar rift, one single rift had my mouth opening, and I looked over to Dutch. “Oh. My. God.”

“What’s going on?” Just as she said it, a solid line of fire lit up the sky and burst into purple fizz. Then another just as rapidly streaked the sky above the Jumbotron and burst into flowering, purple flames. The crowd paused as rapid cheers erupted around the stadium and my chest exploded with emotion.

“Rafe,” I whispered as I clutched my hand over my chest to keep it from spilling out.

I looked over to Dutch as the levy broke, my voice raw. “One song can change everything. Did you know that?”

Dutch looked up as the sky burst with solid purple and Prince sang over the speakers. I felt every word hit me and began to cry openly as I finally let my love and heartache seep through.

“Rafe,” I whispered again as I lost all sense of reality.

I looked up to the purple clouds above that lit the park with streaks of beautiful light designed specifically for me. I began to look around with desperate hope of any sign of Rafe and came up empty. Seconds later, my whole heart burst as I felt a hand clasp mine to the left of me and looked over to see Andy with an encouraging smile before he looked up at the colorful sky and shook his head with a smile. I could see the pride in his eyes for his best friend.

Rafe wasn’t there...but he was.

For seven minutes of song, I was completely surrounded in Rafe’s love for me, and that was enough.

I squeezed Andy’s hand as he held mine back and let the river flow as the song hit its crescendo and sprays of purple rain glittered down into the stadium. The crowd roared back to life, completely blown away as I swallowed the last of my pain and whispered a thank you to the heavens for every single minute of the last months of my life. With renewed hope, I pulled Dutch into a reluctant hug.

“That was for you?” she asked as she finally squeezed me back with the hug of a momma bear. “Well, missy, I can say it twice. I told you so.”

I nodded as Dutch looked on at me when I pulled away. “See you next game?”

“I’ll be here,” I said with enthusiasm as she made her way out of her second home, and I turned to Andy and collapsed into his hug.

“God, I love him,” I whispered as the crowd again made their way out of the stands and the stadium lit up, illuminating the clouds of dissipating smoke.

“I believe the feeling is mutual, doll,” he whispered back. I pulled away with a smile.

“Good game, Andy,” I said with admiration as I looked up to him. “Are you okay?”

“Let’s go nurse our broken hearts,” he said with a quiver in his voice. I looked over at him as he shook his head in confirmation that Kristina left. I swallowed the slight agitation of her sudden departure without notice and decided it was for the best. We all needed time.

“Fuckin’ A,” I said with a nod as I followed him up the aisle.

“Hembrey, let’s go,” I heard my pitching coach call from just outside the bathroom door.

“I’m coming,” I said as I finished the video of Alice. I saw it all. The minute she realized what was going on. My eyes stayed glued to Andy’s cell video as her beautiful features contorted in shock and then the tears that followed. She’d never looked more beautiful as she smiled with her face lit up with firelight. I coughed at the pain that seared through me and the pang of jealousy of those around her.

When I’d left her at the airport, I had to push past every fucking emotion in my chest to leave her there. I didn’t want to rush what had always come natural between us. I’d declared my love, I told her I wasn’t leaving her, and she would never be alone, and I’d meant it. I would keep my promise but wouldn’t ask for her future until I was sure it was exactly what she wanted. Though she remained steadfast and strong as I kissed her with everything I had, I felt myself break apart as I reluctantly let her go and made my way into the airport without a look back. I fucking lost it shortly after and damned near made a fool of myself as I tried to catch her car as she drove away. I threw my glove at her Prius and just missed her by a foot when she pulled away. I had no idea what I would say, but as I watched her car pull away, I felt like it was pulling my whole goddamned chest with it, with her. I loved her completely, and the only way I could prove it and keep my word to her was over time and with dedication. I was completely torn apart, half of me intent on seeing my dream through, half of me hating the fucking fate that had me in knots, and in fear of losing the best thing in my life.

She’d given me everything when she’d decided to love me, and I would give her everything I could in this life. I had no idea how we were going to make it work, but I knew I wouldn’t, for
any
reason, let her go. My phone buzzed right before I was about to throw it in my locker.

Alice: You gave me my movie moment. I love you. I’ll never stop loving you.

Rafe: Sorry I wasn’t there, baby.

Alice: You were. You totally were. I felt you everywhere.

Rafe: You can’t talk like that right now. I’m about to warm up.

Alice: Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold.

Rafe: Seriously?

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay, Ms. Boyd?”

“I am,” I answered with certainty.

“What will you do?”

“I’m hoping for anything private or commercial. I want to get back in the air,” I said as I gathered my purse and shook the hand of Garret, my supervisor. I’d managed to escape the rest of my contract, and they’d found a replacement without holding it against me. It was a small miracle, but one that left me just as unsure as I had been in the past month.

“You will be missed,” he assured as he guided me out of his office. “The door is always open here.”

“Thank you.”

I packed up my Prius with a small box of crap I was sure I would throw away when I got home. I had a small amount of savings and wasn’t sure what my next move was. I hadn’t lied when I told Garret that I wanted to be in the air again, but had no idea what was in store.

I thought of Rafe and sighed. He’d left Charleston only two months ago, and though we spoke every day and saw each other as often as possible, it was never enough. The first month I spent in complete denial. I relived our relationship by frequenting the places we’d gone, driving his Jeep, and sleeping in his bed. I’d also kept a stool warm at Andy’s bar. Rafe’s life had quickly turned into a circus, especially after he began to pitch, and pitch well, on the major level. His arm had started to earn him earnest fans, and his face and body...well, they had earned him a new popularity amongst the masses, namely women and the label of the next Derek Jeter.