Authors: Ed Macy
The church was so full that many had to stand outside where loudspeakers relayed the service. The priest read out a message from Ina.
Another day is gone and I am still all alone.
We never said good-bye.
Someone tell me why.
You were my guiding light, without you it is dark and I am lost.
We were supposed to be for ever and thanks to you I know how
it feels to be loved.
Stay close beside me. I miss you so much.
There is no one in the world that could ever replace you.
I dream of the day we will meet again, and for ever can begin.
I hope you have the same dreams too.
I love you Mathew
.
X X X X
Mathew is buried in the new section of the graveyard and a bench has been placed opposite his grave for the many visitors that come and pay their respects for a man that made the ultimate sacrifice for us all.
Bootsy lovingly tends the grave, a ten-minute walk from the family’s home. Joan visits it daily, and Ina comes down from Dundee every few weeks. Delivering a red rose, she often lies down beside Mathew, and tells him about her life.
Back at Dishforth three months after our return, Billy, Geordie, Nick and I were asked to go down to 3 Commando Brigade’s HQ, Stonehouse Barracks in Plymouth, to meet Prince Philip. As
Captain-General of the Royal Marines, he wanted to hear about their Helmand tour. We were told they wanted to thank us for our contribution at Jugroom Fort.
We were met at the landing site by two staff cars and whisked off to the officers’ mess, where a plethora of majors and colonels were waiting in a line.
‘What’s going on here?’ Billy whispered, as confused as I was. This kind of welcoming committee was mighty unusual for a few ageing warrant officers and a junior captain.
I shook Colonel Magowan’s hand. He just grinned at me.
‘Let me explain why you’re really here,’ said the brigade’s chief of staff. ‘Which one of you is which?’ He turned to me.
‘What’s your name?’
‘WO1 Macy, Sir.’
‘No, you’re WO1 Macy MC. Congratulations.’ He shook my hand. He turned to Geordie.
‘Staff Casey, sir.’
‘Now it’s Staff Sgt Casey MC.’
The chief of staff repeated the performance for Billy and Nick, who were both awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross. Billy’s DFC had arrived after all, and when he was least expecting it.
They explained that Geordie and I had got our awards for what we did on the ground at Jugroom, while Billy and Nick got theirs for bravery in the air. Military Crosses had never been given to Army Air Corps personnel before; we weren’t supposed to fight on the ground. The champagne came out from behind the bar and flowed in true Royal Marine style.
Finally we were ushered into a large hall along with nearly a hundred marines to meet Prince Philip. He’d come down to Stonehouse to congratulate everyone on the Operational Honours List
due for publication the following day.
‘And these are the pilots who flew into the Jugroom Fort to rescue Lance Corporal Ford,’ the 3 Commando Brigade commander told the Prince when our turn came. The old Duke surveyed the four of us with a furrowed brow and issued his trademark grunt.
‘Yes …’ he said. ‘Are you all mad?’
A week later, Emily gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
In December, I was asked to Buckingham Palace, along with Geordie, Billy, Nick and Dave Rigg.
I was only allowed three guests but managed to take Emily, my son and daughter – and the baby strapped to the nearest grab handle. It was the first time in my entire military career I’d worn ceremonial Blues. It would also be my last – I was getting out of the army in a few weeks and I was already on resettlement leave.
We stood near the end of a very long investiture line in the palace’s giant ballroom, exchanging discreet banter. Dave Rigg got the biggest ribbing for leaving his rifle at the fort.
As we shuffled forward, waiting for our turn to come, I realised I’d never stand in uniform beside Billy, Geordie and Nick again. I knew then what I’d miss about the army. Not the pomp and ceremony, nor the laurels if you did something right (and definitely not the bollockings when we went too far). I’d miss serving alongside my friends.
Dave Rigg went first. Then it was my turn to approach the dark red dais. I wasn’t at all nervous, and to the disdain of the equerry I gave my family a wave before setting off.
‘And you must be the pilot,’ Her Majesty said, as I took the final step towards her. She was handed my Military Cross. ‘Were you very
scared?’ This was a real honour. She hadn’t said more than two words to most of the folk before us.
‘Not really ma’am, it was all so fast …’
She wanted to know what happened, so I told her. I tried to keep it as concise as possible as she hung the cross on my left breast pocket. The Queen patted it flat for me and stepped back slightly, lifting her eyebrows as I spoke and nodding gently. After twenty seconds I realised I was rabbiting on a bit, so I ended my story quickly.
‘You must have been very proud of what you tried to do,’ she said.
‘Today is my proudest day ever ma’am,’ I responded.
‘Not because I’m meeting you …’
No I didn’t mean that
… ‘because I’ve been given the chance to bring
my
family to meet
my
Queen.’
Her polite smile widened into a grin and then in to a delightful chuckle.
I must stop chatting
…
‘This is my last day in uniform ever ma’am. It’s the greatest day of my life.’ I knew I was losing it, and she did too.
The Queen started to laugh and thankfully placed her hand in mine for the final shake. It was soft but firm and before I knew what was happening she’d thrust it forward, forcing me to take a step back – a well-practised manoeuvre to signal that the audience was over, and it was Geordie’s turn in the limelight. As I walked backwards away from her, the Queen continued to chuckle.
Billy, Geordie, Nick and I and our families went to a hotel round the corner to celebrate.
There was no hiding what had happened from the kids. Mine wanted to know why the Queen only spoke to the four of us and, more importantly, what I had said to make her laugh. My daughter
guessed it straight away. ‘I bet she asked you a question and then regretted it. She did, didn’t she, Dad?’
I officially left the British Army in January 2008 after twenty-three years’ service and 3,930 helicopter flying hours, 645 of them in an Apache. I was a born soldier and fighting from the cockpit of an Apache helicopter on operations was the pinnacle of my career.
It was also the last straw. As much as I love the army, the machine and the amazing years it gave me, sooner or later, being away from your family and the worry they go through gets to us all.
The squadron looks very different now; I wasn’t the only one to leave after that tour. Now, eighteen months on from the second tour, none of the original Apache pilots are serving with 656 Squadron.
Very shortly, Trigger and two of the four that joined us at the end of 2006 will take thirteen new pilots back out to Camp Bastion for the squadron’s third tour of southern Afghanistan. They are lucky people: no pilot could ask for a better leader in the field than the Boss.
Charlotte is his Ops Officer, but plans to leave the army after one final tour of the Helmand to ‘make some money’. She will.
Nick went over to 664 Squadron as their Ops Officer and did a third Helmand tour in the summer of 2008. He plans to stay in and I hope he goes as far as we all predicted; the Army Air Corps needs heroes.
FOG left the army at the same time as I did, to fly MD Explorers for the Police.
Darwin, Geordie and Carl were promoted to WO2; Darwin completed his instructional courses and now teaches students to fly
Apaches at Middle Wallop; and Geordie was posted to a specialist military unit to fly civilian helicopters. The two are still incorrigible whenever they are together.
Promotion came too late for Carl and we lost him to the Australian Army. He emigrated to fly the Tiger attack helicopter for the Australian Defence Force and the shrewd Aussies promoted him to captain too.
Billy took a commission and is now a captain, serving as the Assistant Regimental QHI of another Army Air Corps regiment. It’s one more step closer to his ultimate dream – to be the most senior pilot in the Corps. He deserves that too.
Because of what we did in Afghanistan, we were told there would always be a threat to us back home in the UK. The more we do, the more the Taliban and their sympathisers hate us; it’s the price of success. It’s why the MoD affords Apache pilots the same protection as Special Forces; our real names or photographs are never publicly released without our signed permission.
I take sensible but not overly paranoid precautions to protect myself and my family. All my post goes to a special PO Box, I don’t vote, and I don’t have any contracts. My name doesn’t appear on any register or bill and I don’t even own my own home – I’m pretty much invisible. To anyone who wants to find me, I’m untraceable. Which does make getting a residents’ parking permit a pain in the arse.
But I’m not the sort of person to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder or worrying if some radical extremist will wake me up in the middle of the night with a 9-mm silenced pistol. Truth be told, I rarely give it a second thought. The one thing my service taught me is that life’s too short to worry.
LCpl Mathew Ford, RM
105s:
105mm Light Gun – Towed Artillery used by the Paras and the Marines
2i/c:
Second in Command
30 Mike Mike:
Military slang for 30 millimetre or the Apache’s Cannon rounds
50 Cal:
British Forces L1A1 Heavy Machine Gun – 12.7 mm (.50 inch) calibre tripod-mounted or vehicle-mounted automatic
A10:
US Forces ground attack warplane nicknamed the Thunderbolt or Warthog
AA:
Anti-Aircraft – known as ‘Double A’. A large calibre gun used against low-flying aircraft
AAA:
Anti-Aircraft Artillery – known as ‘Triple A’. Very large calibre artillery pieces used to engage aircraft at higher altitudes than AA
AAC:
Army Air Corps – corps of the British Army that operates helicopters and fixed wing aircraft
ADF:
Automatic Direction Finder – Radio Navigation System
Affirm:
Affirmative – air speak for Yes
Aircrew:
People that crew the aircraft: pilots, navigators, door gunners and loadmasters
AH64:
AH64A Apache – US Army Apache Attack Helicopter with no Radar, AH64D Longbow Apache – US Army Apache Attack Helicopter with Radar
AK47:
Soviet assault rifle – 7.62 mm automatic
Altitude
: Height above sea level, rather than ground level
ANA:
Afghan National Army
ANP:
Afghan National Police
Apache:
Apache AH Mk1 – the British Army Apache Attack Helicopter – Built by Agusta Westland and all fitted with the Longbow Radar
APC:
Armoured Personnel Carrier
APU:
Auxiliary Power Unit – an engine used to power-up the main engines or to provide power to an aircraft on the ground
Armed Helicopter:
A helicopter that has had a weapon system fitted but was primarily designed as a weapons platform
ASE:
Aircraft Survivability Equipment – the HIDAS
ATO:
Ammunition Technical Officer
Attack Helicopter:
A helicopter that is designed around being a complete weapon system, rather than a weapon system designed to fit a helicopter
B1:
B1 Lancer bomber – US Air Force high altitude long range supersonic strategic bomber
Bag, the:
A blacked-out cockpit used to teach Apache pilots how to fly at night with sole reference from the monocle
Battlegroup:
A battalion-sized fighting force
BDA:
Battle Damage Assessment
Beirut unload:
A rough and ready way of firing at something without risking the life of the firer. The firer stands behind cover and places the weapon over or around a wall and fires a full magazine of ammunition in the rough direction of the intended target – name derived from the methods of firing used in Beirut
Bergen:
Army slang for a rucksack
Berm:
A man-made ridge of earth, designed as an obstacle
Bingo:
A nominated fuel amount that allows the Apache patrol commander enough warning to call for a RIP or to inform the ground troops that they have limited Apache time remaining
Bitching Betty:
The Apache’s female cockpit voice warning system
Black Brain:
The black kneeboard Apache pilots fly with on their thigh that contains everything that can’t be committed to memory and may be needed instantly in flight
Bone:
The callsign for the US Air Force B1 Lancer bomber
BRF:
Brigade Recce Force – recce troops for 3 Commando Brigade
Brigade:
3 or 4 regiments of troops with all supporting troops
Buster:
Fly at the fastest speed possible
C130:
Hercules – a 4 propped military fixed wing transport plane used by most countries to move troops and equipment
C17:
Boeing C17 Globemaster III – large US Air Force Strategic/Tactical Transport Plane
Calibre:
The inside diameter of the barrel of a weapon
Carbine:
Short barrelled SA80 with a pistol grip at the front – used by Apache pilots and tank crews – 5.56 mm automatic
Casevac:
Casualty Evacuation
Cdo:
Commando
CDS:
Chief of the Defence Staff
CGS:
Chief of the General Staff
CH47:
Chinook – a large wide-bodied helicopter with two rotors on the top. Used by many countries for carrying troops – may also carry equipment inside or underslung below
Chicken Fuel:
Just enough fuel to make it back direct line and land with the minimum fuel allowance
Chinook:
See CH47
CIA:
Central Intelligence Agency – US Government Intelligence
CMSL:
CPG (Apache Gunner) has actioned the missile system – CPG’s Missiles
CO:
Commanding Officer – Lieutenant Colonel in charge of a regiment, battalion or the JHF
Coalition:
National Military Forces working together as one force
Collective Lever:
The flying control to the left-hand side of the pilot’s seat; held in the left hand; when raised the Apache climbs and when lowered it descends
Combat Gas:
Fuel that can be used at the target – this does not include transit fuel
Co-op:
Co-operative rocket shoot – both of the Apaches’ crew working together to fire the rockets at the target
Cow:
Taliban slang for the Chinook helicopter
CPG:
Co-pilot Gunner – Front seat pilot in the Apache, known as ‘The Gunner’
Crow:
Derogatory military slang for a very junior paratrooper
CRKT:
CPG (Apache Gunner) has actioned the rocket system – CPG’s Rockets
CRV7:
Canadian Rocket Vehicle 7 – the Apache’s rockets
Crypto:
Cryptographic – Encoded information
Cyclic Stick:
The flying control between the pilot’s legs, held by the right hand and used to speed up, slow down, dive and turn the Apache
Danger Close:
The proximity to a weapon’s effect that is considered the last safe point when wearing body armour and combat helmets
Dasht-e-Margo:
Desert of Death
DC:
District Centre – the commercial/political/military centre of a particular area. Usually a building that once held power
Deep Raid:
Striking the enemy deep within their own held territory without taking ground
Delta Hotel:
Phonetic Alphabet for DH – air speak for Direct Hit – call made when a weapon system hits its intended target accurately
Desert Hawk:
Small British UAV
DFC:
Distinguished Flying Cross – awarded in recognition of exemplary gallantry during active operations against the enemy in the air
DGSE:
Direction Générale de la Sécurité – General Directorate for External Security – French Intelligence Agency
Dishdash:
Loose kaftan-style outfit worn by many Afghan men
Doorman:
Callsign for the British casevac Chinook
DPM:
Disruptive Pattern Material – camouflaged print used on clothing and equipment
DTV:
Day Television Camera – black and white TV image generated from the day camera in the TADS
DU:
Depleted Uranium – kinetic bullets used by the A10
Dushka:
Nickname of the DShK – Soviet built Anti-Aircraft Machine Gun – 12.7 mm (.50 cal)
Engine Power Levers:
The throttles used for starting the Apache’s engines
ETA:
Estimated Time of Arrival
EWO:
Electronic Warfare Officer
F18:
US Navy strike warplane called the Hornet – very similar cockpit to the Apache but less busy
Fast Air:
Offensive military jet aircraft
FCR:
Fire Control Radar – the Apache’s Longbow Radar
Firebase:
Friendly Forces firing position used to cover an assault
Flanking:
From the side
Flares:
Hot flares fired to attract heat-seeking missiles, luring them away from the Apache
Flechette:
Eighty-five-inch tungsten darts fired from a rocket travelling above Mach 2
FLIR:
Forward Looking Infrared. Sights that generate a thermal picture – an image produced by an object’s heat source
Fly-by-wire:
Flying the helicopter using sensors from the controls like a PlayStation control works. A Back Up flight Control System (BUCS) used when control runs are shot through
FM Radio:
A Frequency Modulated secure radio in the Apache
Force 84:
British Special Forces operating in Afghanistan
Formate:
Aviation term for formation flying
Frag:
Fragments of hot metal that break away from a shell when it explodes
Fragged:
As published in the orders
Frago:
Fragmented Orders – extracted part of a full set of orders
Fuselage:
Main body of an aircraft
GAFA:
Great Afghan Fuck All – Dasht-e-Margo – the Desert of Death
GAU8:
Gatling gun fitted to an A10 ground attack aircraft
GBU:
Guided Bomb Unit – smart bombs
GCHQ:
British Government Communications Headquarters – Intelligence andSecurity Organisation
GPMG:
British Forces General Purpose Machine Gun – 7.62 mm bipod machine gun
GPS:
Global Positioning System – satellite navigation equipment
GR7:
Harrier GR7 – Royal Air Force warplane capable of Vertical Take Off and Landing (VTOL)
Green Zone:
Lush habitation of irrigated fields, hedgerows, trees and small woods on either side of the Helmand River, bordered by arid deserts
Groundcrew:
People who work with aircraft when they are on the ground, not technicians
Ground school:
Academic lessons on flying and all to do with flying; met, law, engines, etc.
Gunship:
An aircraft that has the capability of firing its cannon/s from the side instead of having to strafe head-on
Gun tape:
The video tape put into an Apache that records what the selected sight sees
Harrier:
See GR7
H Hour:
The moment offensive action begins – first bullet, bomb or the moment troops walk towards their intended target to attack
HEDP:
High Explosive Dual Purpose – 30 mm cannon rounds
Height:
The height above the ground
HEISAP:
High Explosive Incendiary Semi-Armour Piercing – kinetic rocket fired by the Apache
Hellfire:
AGM-114K SAL (Semi-Active Laser) Hellfire II is a laser-guided Hellfire missile fitted to the Apache and Predator
Hercules:
See C130
Hesco Bastion:
Square metal meshed cubes lined with Hessian and filled with rubble and/or sand. Used as defensive ramparts to protect bases and platoon houses from fire
HIDAS:
Helicopter Integrated Defensive Aid System – protection from SAMs
HIG:
Hezb-I Islami Gulbuddin – major group of the old Mujahideen with ties to Osama bin Laden referred to in this book as Taliban
HLS:
Helicopter Landing Site
Hot:
Air speak for clearance or acknowledgment that live bombs can be dropped
HQ:
Headquarters – The nerve centre for planning and execution of operations
HRF:
Helmand Reaction Force – 2 Apaches and a Chinook full of soldiers on standby at Bastion used to bolster any troops on the ground quickly
HumInt:
Human Intelligence – intelligence provided by human sources; spies, snitches, etc.
I Bar:
See Steering Cursor
ID:
Identification
IED:
Improvised Explosive Device – homemade bombs or multiple mines strapped together
IRA:
Irish Republican Army – Northern Irish Para-military group
IRT:
Incident Response Team – Apaches, Chinooks, doctors, medics and ATO responsible for the immediate recovery of personnel in danger or injured
ISAF:
International Security Assistance Force – multi-national military force in Afghanistan
ISI:
Directorate for Inter-Services Intelligence – Pakistan’s Intelligence Agency
ISTAR:
Intelligence, Surveillance, Target Acquisition and Reconnaissance
IX Battlegroup:
The Information Exploitation Battlegroup – Magowan’s troops
JDAM:
Joint Direct Attack Munition – Inertial Navigation and GPS guidance system bolted onto a 500 to 2000lb bomb to make it an accurate all-weather weapon
Joint Helicopter Command:
The UK-based command headquarters and operating authority for all British military helicopters in the UK and abroad
JHF:
JHF (A) – Joint Helicopter Force in Afghanistan – ‘Main’ at Kandahar and ‘Forward’ at Camp Bastion – the Afghanistan helicopter headquarters operating under authority for the JHC
JOC:
Joint Operations Cell – the functioning control centre of operations in the Helmand province
JTAC:
Joint Terminal Attack Controller – soldier responsible to his commander for the deliverance of air ordnance from combat aircraft onto a target. The airspace controller above a battle, normally callsigns Widow or Knight Rider
Klicks:
Military slang for kilometres
KIA:
Killed in action
Knight Rider:
Callsign for the BRF JTAC’s
Lance Bombardier:
Artillery Rank – the second rung on the ladder after private/marine
LCpl:
Lance Corporal – rank – the second rung on the ladder after private/marine
Leakers:
Taliban that are attempting to escape (leak) from a target area
Lima Charlie:
Phonetic alphabet for LC – air speak for Loud and Clear
Loadie:
Loadmaster responsible for passengers and equipment in military troop-carrying helicopters or transport aircraft