Read APOCALYCIOUS: Satire of the Dead Online
Authors: K Helms
As he neared it he felt more than heard a great vibration. The image of the castle dissolved before his eyes and he could only see the ship hovering above the reinforced concrete deck. He instinctively ducked back out of the open room and into the hallway, still peering through the sights of his shotgun.
The ship floated effortlessly up to the ceiling and he felt the vibrations of it touching the concrete through his boots. Suddenly the ceiling crashed down upon the ship, but the chunks of concrete didn’t seem to actually touch the ship; the debris fell
around
it and crashed heavily to the floor. The room filled with dust and debris making Hito choke. He turned on his heel and ran back the way he had come and he could hear the upper floors caving in one after another. As he ran up, floor after floor of stairs, the dust cloud rushed ahead of him leaving him to sling his shotgun over his shoulder and grab the hand railing to guide him out before the rest of the building collapsed around him. His lungs were on fire and he couldn’t get air into them and he began to cough convulsively. He fell to his hands and knees hacking out the dust. He had no idea how close he was to the exit, but he knew he would not make it.
Suddenly he felt hands around his waist lifting him to his feet and he felt the weight of his pack fall from his back as the shotgun was ripped from his shoulder. He was rushed up a few more stairs then straight for what seemed like a mile before exploding outside into the sunlight. They dropped to the ground still choking. They rolled onto their backs and the two of them lay side by side, completely gray, covered in dust. Hito began choking up the dust from his lungs again. He felt cold water spill on to his face and hands wiping his face urgently. The hands leaned him forward and held the canteen for him, spilling it down the front of his black t-shirt. He drank and choked then drank some more. His breathing was becoming easier as he expelled the debris from his lungs. He heard someone above him; it was Shere.
“C’mon, Hito. C’mon, now…”
He opened his eyes, but his vision was blurred by the dust caked in them.
“That’s it Hito…” Shere poured more water on his face and wiped at his eyes, flushing them the best she could. He felt kisses peppering his forehead.
“Hito, I thought I’d lost you …” Shere cut off her words as the vibration increased. The two of them watched in amazement as the saucer shaped disk emerged from the top of the crumbling structure. It hovered in the sky for a moment before it shot off toward the south-east at an incredible rate of speed.
“Oh my god,” said Shere softly. The two of them sat there looking at the sky trying to make sense of what they had just witnessed. Hito felt Shere’s hands slip under his arms, hoisting him to his feet. She led him back to the Hummer and laid him in the back. She jumped in the drivers’ seat and sped out of the base, out of Dayton.
“Where are we going?” asked Hito, still hoarse and weak from lack of oxygen. He felt a hand rubbing his leg assuring him.
“Someplace safe,” said Shere.
Chapter 49 - A Hearty Yo Ho Silver
Wright Patterson Air Force Base
Dayton, Ohio
Arlington gave out a loud rebel yell as the ship careened up from the ruins of its concrete and rebar confines and shot across the sky.
“HAW!” agreed Laptu, clapping his enormous hands together.
Arlington looked over to where his hairy friend sat and exclaimed, “Let’s see what this baby can do!”
“DO!” seconded the Pedtu, bouncing energetically in his seat.
I’ll take that as a yes.
Arlington supposed and then directed his thoughts to Basil at the helm and the ship soared upward like a shot. There was no G- force slamming him back into his seat like fighter jets, just a smooth glide and the lightest of hums. He thought that Basil was either one helluva pilot or this ship was incredible.
Probably both
, he thought.
For the first time in his life, Arlington felt a freedom he had never known. No nine to five to weigh him down, no alcoholic addiction, and no self-pity for his missing hand that had ended a career. He glanced back at Laptu and smiled with a hint of sadness. “Don’t worry ol’ buddy, I won’t park the truck on top of you.”
Laptu looked over at Arlington, confused and tilted his head to the side, questioningly.
The ship is a three-man crew,
Arlington thought with chagrin, a
nd we have a hook-handed alcoholic, an Egyptian guardian of the dead with one eye and a hairy ape with the intelligence of a four year old. What can possibly go wrong?
“OK Basil…we need to go to my trailer first to pick up a few things.”
“Try not to bring back any roaches,” said the Anubis smugly.
“Why not? They might become good buddies with that troop of fleas in your pelt,” countered Arlington.
The Anubis didn’t respond, instead he fixed a one red-eyed glare on the man with the articulated metal hook.
“Then…” continued Arlington, “I say we go to Hollywood and try to find some hot actresses.”
Arlington
smiled broadly.
“You cannot be serious,” exclaimed the Anubis in exasperation.
“I hear they are a bunch of dog lovers,” said Arlington persuasively.
“We are supposed to find a suitable location to place this ship, secure it, and then find and transport survivors so they can reestablish
your
race.”
“Hollywood babes would be great candidates to begin to reestablish my race with, don’t you think?” Arlington asked.
“
You
are an idiot. Why would someone like that want a hillbilly like you?” asked the Anubis in a bitter tone in his mind, but Arlington sensed a subtle humor that contained no malice.
Arlington resisted the urge to scratch the humanoid with the dog shaped head behind his ears and calling him a 'good boy'. Instead he smiled and said, “I think we’re going to get along just fine.”
Basil closed his eye and looked away with disdain, but Arlington could swear he saw the dog smile.
“I do want to check one place after we go to my trailer,” said Arlington.
“And where might that be? Chuck E. Cheese?”
Arlington laughed, “Ahh a smart ass, eh? No, not Chuck E. Cheese… there would be too many dead kids running around and trying to gnaw on my kneecaps.”
Basil nodded toward Arlington’s hook and dryly said, “Maybe you could lend them a hand.”
“I’m gonna hand you a left hook, fleabag,” said Arlington. “Actually, I want to see if a friend of mine made it to the Greenbrier Hotel in West Virginia.”
“West Virginia. What a colossal surprise,” muttered the Anubis.
As the ship shot toward their destination, Arlington noticed that it didn’t feel like they had moved at all.
“This thing doesn’t have much balls,” said Arlington
“We are traveling at over five hundred miles per hour,” said Basil
“Doesn’t feel like it. It feels like we haven’t moved.”
“The ship negates the G-force. If it didn’t, you would pass out every time we accelerate.”
“Huh…that’s cool, I guess. I was just expecting to get thrown back in my seat a little. This thing is a lot smaller than Noah’s ship too; you would have thought he would have let me have a bigger one to transport people.”
Basil cast his crimson eye at the man.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m an idiot.
Chapter 50 – Three’s A Shroud
Dixton, Ohio
Annie saw the black man walking down the middle of the street of the small town of Dixton, Ohio. His steps were unsure and he often staggered sideways, barely keeping his footing.
“He looks infected,” Juanita said.
“We should still help him,” Annie pleaded
“He’s going to turn, and from the looks of it, it won’t be all that daggone long,” said the short statured woman. “The only way I wanna help him is with this.” She patted the stock of her mini-14.
“We can’t just leave him to be eaten,” insisted Annie
“Looks to me like he’s already been partly eaten, what’s a few more bites?” sneered the little Latino.
“I’m helping him,” Annie said firmly, and stood up from the cover of the hedges. Juanita grabbed for her, but Annie was already moving.
“Arrr…” Juanita growled in disapproval, then cradled the stock into her shoulder and peered down the sights to cover her friend.
Annie looked right and left, making sure the dead didn’t see her and Juanita thought she looked like a school girl checking for traffic before she crossed the street. Then Annie bolted over to where the man stood, swaying and filling his lungs in short raspy breaths.
His face and hands were ashen, his eyes red and watering. The tell-tale signs of infection lined his face like road maps. His breathing was labored and ragged and he wheezed and whistled with each inhalation and exhalation. Annie asked no questions, she simply lifted his right arm and draped it over her shoulder and whispered to him, “Come with me.”
He nodded weakly and made small jerking steps as she led him to the hedges where Juanita waited with a noticeable look of disdain on her face.
“C’mon, c’mon,” Juanita said impatiently, then slung her carbine and grabbed the man’s free arm and held it down to her shoulder. He had no weapons or pack and she wondered how long he had been walking like this.
“Let’s take him to the house,” Annie said in a hushed voice, thick with exertion. They crossed the lawn as fast as they could and eased open the front door. The house had been barricaded by the former residents and was fairly secure; at least temporarily. The two women had hacked up the dead that roamed its halls and rooms late last night, and with Juanita chopping low, Annie chopping high, they had made a good team.
“Just don’t be trying to hook up with him, alright?” Juanita said accusingly.
“I’m not a whore, ‘Nita.”
“Yeah, you kinda are.” said the little Latina with a chuckle. They eased the man onto the couch.
He shook his head weakly. “You shouldn’t have done that…I’m almost done,” he croaked with a dry, cracked voice.
“Told you,” Juanita said triumphantly.
“Can it, Shorty.”
“Whatever.”
“She’s right,” said the black man.
Annie ignored his protests. “What’s your name, sweetie?” she asked holding his hand with one of hers and rubbing it with the other. It was cold and clammy.