Apprehension and Desire: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (41 page)

The room went silent for a few minutes. Very slowly, Elizabeth walked to him. “You have not changed at all. My first impression of you was correct. Deep inside you are the same cold, arrogant, and prideful man I knew in Kent. Why all the pretence for the last year?”

He turned to look at her. “Why? Do you not know?” He leaned to her and spoke, his voice lowered. “To have you. And it worked.”

Her expression softened. “You do not mean it.”

“Do I not? I am cold, arrogant and prideful, after all.”

Elizabeth lowered her head, looking to the side.

“You push my patience and good will too far with this, Elizabeth,” he said, his voice calmer.

“If you expect me to turn my back on Jane because she can find her happiness with a good man…I will not do that. You can send me back if you wish. I can raise the baby alone,” she announced defiantly.

Darcy flinched, as if she had slapped him.

“Do not talk nonsense,” he muttered impatiently. “Be serious for once. I am not pleased with the news about Jane, and I have my reasons. You will not convince me that this is all normal and acceptable. How can you even use such arguments against me? You are mine, my wife. Your first loyalty is to me and what I decide, not to your sister.”

A single tear ran down her cheek and then another.

His face tightened even more at the sight of her crying in front of him. He stepped closer to her.

“This is the last time I will hear from you that you want to leave me, or that I could send you away with our child. Do not ever threaten me with that. I do not deserve it. Do you understand?” he demanded sharply, his expression pained.

She choked back a sob, tears running freely down her cheeks.

Darcy exhaled, before pulling her roughly into his arms. “Do not cry, please, sweetheart, I beg you,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. “No matter what, I love you.”

“I love you too,” she whispered shakily.

“I will try…” he sighed. “You must see that it is not easy for me.”

“I know,” she whispered and clung to him.

Darcy woke up to find the place beside himself empty. Worry tugged at his heart. “Elizabeth!” he cried, his  hoarse from sleep voice with an edge to it.

“I am here,” her calm voice answered from the other side of the bed.

He snapped his head in the direction. The window was wide open, and she sat on a chair in front of it, the early morning air blowing on her face.

He dropped back on the pillows. “That warm, love?”

She turned her head to look at him, her hand placed on her extended stomach. “This baby makes me so hot inside. Next time I want to go to confinement in the middle of the winter and not in July.”

He smiled. “I shall see what I can do about that.”

She raised herself very slowly and waddled back to him.

With his help, she climbed onto the bed. She tried to settle on her back, but quickly she turned on her side.

Darcy sat up and began messaging her lower back.

“Do you think that we will have a girl this time?” he could not remove the excitement from his tone.

She moaned unenthusiastically in response. “I know that I want this child out.” The tone of her voice told him that she was close to tears. “I am so exhausted.”

His arm wrapped about her. “It will not last long. A week or two more. Stay in your rooms today.”

She nodded. “I think I will. Could you please ask Martha to draw me a cool bath?”

He kissed her neck. “Perhaps some ice-cream for breakfast?”

She turned her face to him and smiled for the first time this morning. “Yes, please. And send Thomas to me later. I want to see how his knee is healing.”

Darcy kissed her face, whispered „I love you,” and got out of the bed.

When he returned to her two hours later, Elizabeth sat in her private sitting room in her robe, the tea and a saucer with slowly melting ice-cream on the side table within her reach.

Five year old Thomas had his uncommonly skinny, long limb stretched in front of her. The boy had taken his body build from his father, there was no doubt to it.

Elizabeth examined the scraped knee carefully, blowing gently on the wound.

“Does it hurt still, darling?” she asked.

The boy shook his head. “No, Mama.”

Past Darcy’s legs ran three year old Henry, crying loudly. “Mama, Mama!”

The youngest boy tried to climb on Elizabeth, which was rather difficult, due to his much taller brother who fiercely guarded his own space around their mother, refusing to move an inch, and another obstacle in Elizabeth’s large stomach.

“Boys, stop at once!” Darcy ordered, and the children froze. “I have told you many times and asked repeatedly that you not bother your mother now.”

The boys expressions sulked, and they stepped back obediently.

Elizabeth smiled at them warmly, reaching her hand to stroke the dark curls of the younger one. “Run downstairs, darlings, and tell Mrs. Peters that you may have some ice-cream.”

The boys squeaked in joy, and in a matter of seconds they were out of the room, their excited voices heard in the hall.

She lifted her dark eyes at/to him.“It was not necessary to snap at them like that.”

“You spoil them, love, and what is worse, they use your own kindness against you and tire you out.”

She smiled calmly. “I want them to be certain one day that they had a mother who loved them, so they would know how to show affection to their own children. Besides you are always there to put them in line when they get out of control.”

He sat with her while she ate her ice-cream and drank her tea. She seemed in a better mood than in the morning.

“Go to your duties. Do not worry about me,” she said when she noticed that he was stealing glances at the clock. “I shall be fine. I have a new novel to read.” She pointed with her eyes to a thick book nearby. “Besides, Jane promised to come, and I expect Amy any day, perhaps even today.”

“Will Lady Matlock stay for a longer time?” Darcy asked formally.

Elizabeth’s childhood friend had married Darcy’s cousin three years ago, but she had not witnessed her husband finalizing the divorce with his first wife. The woman had been stabbed to the death by one of her lovers during a ball, freeing Edward from his misery, and causing the greatest scandal of the decade in the higher circles of London society.

“Yes, she promised to stay till the birth and sometime after. I cannot burden Jane now, especially when Mr. Cowlishaw is so busy now with that new farm they acquired.”

Darcy nodded. Jane Cowlishaw was with child as well, and her husband was always working stubbornly to ensure her and all their children a comfortable living. He  truly admired both of them, and the family that they had created.

As he was descending the staircase, he saw his sister-in-law, surrounded by the brood of red haired children. Jane looked as beautiful and elegant as ever, even the small bump on her front did not ruin the graceful line of her figure. The sisters carried their pregnancies very differently; while Jane was always able to disguise her state for a long time, Elizabeth was as big as a house from the fifth month.

“Jane, so good you came,” Darcy spoke as he approached her. After years of referring to her as Mrs. Cowlishaw, he finally began using her first name. “Elizabeth is very restless.”

She smiled at him. “I cannot stay for long, I am afraid, just two hours before Joe comes to take us back. I am sorry for bringing them all with me.” She gave him an apologetic look as he stared at the five bouncing children. “There was no other way.”

“The more, the merrier, as Elizabeth says,” he assured politely. “Do not worry, sister. Our boys are always pleased with the company.”

“Thomas, Henry!” he cried loudly. “Your cousins are here.”

Soon there was heard the speedy tapping of the little feet and two dark haired boys ran to them.

Jane left, going upstairs to Elizabeth, and Darcy lined all the children against the wall. “Now,” he gave them his most stern look. “You will go to the smaller dining room where you will get some ice-cream.” The Cowlishaws heavily freckled little faces lit up at the news. “And you two,” he glared at his sons. “Milk and cookies, because you have already had a portion of ice-cream today. But!” He lifted his finger. “We sit in our seats, we listen to the nanny, and we do not touch anything with our hands.”

The boys’ nanny, Mrs. Peters, was already standing behind him, waiting to take over the children.

Darcy gave her a serious look. “You should call someone to help you today, Mrs. Peters.”

The woman shook her head with a smile. “I shall manage, Master. I had it worse once when Lord and Lady Matlock came with their children at the same time when Mrs. Cowlishaw was in confinement with  her youngest one and the other four stayed with us.” The woman glanced at thirteen year-old Abigail Cowlishaw, who held her two year - old sister by her hand.

Darcy nodded and turned to the children again. “Now, you will walk, I repeat, walk to the smaller dining room, after the nanny.”

Mrs. Peters pulled out her hand. “Come, children.”

The End