April Loves Black Coffee: First Impressions (26 page)

Suddenly, the kitchen is bustling with movement. Lina finishes setting up the kitchen table while Yuna scolds her for not watching her health. I open the wine bottle and pour each adult a glass. Lina and I resign to drinking water. We have to be on our best behavior.

By the time we all sit down, the small kitchen table is overflowing with plates of food. Yuna sits next to Dom while Lina and I sit at the edge of the table. Eunhye is at the head of the table; her eyes are glossy and a content smile comes across her lips when she surveys the food and her company.

“I want to thank you for taking the time to come over for dinner. I know we’ve all been so busy,” Eunhye addresses her gratefulness first. She reaches for Yuna’s hand who flashes her megawatt smile.

“Of course Eunhye.” Dom smiles kindly at my mother.

Eunhye swells with emotions as she points to the feast in front of us. “Please, let’s eat.”

Lina begins piling food into her plate, undoubtedly hungry from being sick all afternoon. Yuna serves some rice onto her plate, glancing at my cousin’s passive facial expression.

“How are things going for you May? Are you taking summer school?” Oblivious to the exchange going on between his wife and daughter, Dom is picking at his piece of salmon, dragging it across his plate towards the marinated sauce.

“No. Not this summer. I’ve been working to save up for college in the fall,” I answer him, thankful for the easy question. I take my first bite into the salmon. “This is delicious mom.”

“It is Eunhye. I always tell you your talents are going to waste at a hospital. You should open a restaurant. People would be standing outside in a line.” Yuna is inspecting the salmon before popping a piece into her mouth.

“Ah, I miss having family around.” Eunhye smiles in response to the compliment. She checks on Lina, who is awfully silent. “Everything ok Lina?”

Lina is chewing away at her food. A closer introspection reveals that my cousin is chewing her bottom lip more t
han her salmon. “Yes. The food is delicious.”

Eunhye beams as she hands Lina the plate of vegetables. “You definitely need to eat more of this then. By the way, where is that boyfriend of yours? Spyder?”

A dark look flashes across her face. “He’s busy tonight,” Lina replies shortly. 

Yuna watches Lina with apprehension. “He spent the last couple of days at our house. His entire cheek was nearly sliced open.”

Eunhye’s eyes widen in response. “What happened?”

“He won’t tell us, but it’s definitely those hoodlums that he hangs around with.” Dom casts a dark look at Lina. “And of course she doesn’t know what happened to him.”

I force myself to continue eating. From Yuna to Dom’s facial expression, I know that my aunt and uncle know something is wrong. Lina is skating on thin ice with them.

“So where is he now?” Eunhye pursues the topic further.

“He went home yesterday,” Yuna answers. She looks at Lina. “Did you two get into another argument?”

“No,” Lina answers shortly. As though she is a seasoned actress, Lina takes a gulp of her water and says, “He has his own life to live. We’re not attached at the hip.”

Dom narrows his eyes at his only daughter, but doesn’t say anything. Yuna shakes her head in response.

“Oh you two,” Eunhye laughs. “Adolescent romance is very fleeting. One day you’re happy and the next day you want to break up. You make up to do it all again.”

“I wish you would break up with him Lina. He really is bad news,” Yuna comments. The disdain laces in her tone of voice. “He doesn’t have a real job and he is always hanging out with people who have no names and no reputable profession.”

“And who would those be?” Eunhye leans forward in her seat.

I can feel my scalp prickling before the answer is stated.

“Gangsters, degenerates, the likes,” Dom hisses his disapproval.

I glance at Lina. She has gone from passive to frustration. “Can we please talk about something else besides my love life? I’ve heard your opinions about Spyder a million times.”

“So why don’t you do something about it?” Yuna rebukes her daughter. “Lina, we love you. You know that. We want what’s best for you.”

Lina narrows her eyes at her mother. The hurt is easy to see in them.

Eunhye clears her throat. “Yuna,” she says softly. “I’m sure Lina knows. She’ll figure out her own way. I’ve been telling May the same thing. I keep telling
her to slow down her work days, but she’s quite the workaholic nowadays.”

“I’m not a workaholic.” Taking the point from my mother to help change the subject and reduce the tension around the table, I chime in quickly.

“You missed our last family dinner because of your second job.” Dom takes the liberty of reminding me. He winks at me, letting me know that he is on board with changing the subject.

“Speaking of which, that god awful place is finally getting shut down.” Eunhye’s voice animates with interest.

“Really?” Dom puts down his fork. “What happened?”

Now, I have the attention of everyone at the table. Even Lina stares at me with surprise. I haven’t had the chance to tell my cousin the news.

“A new owner is taking over,” I answer to the three pairs of eyes watching me. “That’s as far as I know. We’re closing by the end of the upcoming week.”

“Tsk, tsk.” Yuna shakes her head. She picks up her glass of wine and looks over it with a weary facial expression. “In this type of economy, people are still buying and selling.”

Eunhye finds this statement poignant. “The rich will always be able to buy and sell whatever they want. It’s a mystery that us little people can never understand.”

“Well, I’d rather be poor and have my morals than those who kill and maim for their money,” Yuna scoffs in a disapproving manner. “Gangsters swarm that area anyway.”

“Gah.” Lina chokes on her piece of salmon. She looks up from the table and mumbles, “Bone.”

I carefully kick Lina’s right ankle beneath the table. She scrunches up her nose. Fortunately, the adults are engaged in their conversation about capitalism and work.

Eunhye gives us the run down on what is going on at the hospital. Two new doctors have just transferred in, and the mortality rate has held steady for the past two months. When Eunhye asks about them, Dom volunteers that the small hardware shop he owns with Yuna is underwater.

“People aren’t fixer-uppers or do-it-yourself anymore. Everything is technological now. Help is now a phone call away. Shopping can be done online.” There is stress running through Dom’s voice. He shrugs his shoulders to convey the notions are lost with him.

I glance briefly at Lina to see her guarded eyes. She shakes her head lightly at me, indicating there’s no purpose for us to chime in. Now, the true reason for Lina’s debt surfaces clearly. My heart sinks a little deeper at the depth of my cousin’s problems.

“If you need anything, let us know,” Eunhye offers quickly. She takes Yuna’s hand into her own. “We don’t have much, but we can help. We know the store is your sweat and tears.”

“We’ll be fine Eunhye,” Yuna answers quietly. She steals a glance at Dom who remains tight-lipped.

Dinner ends on quite the somber note. We finish out the fruit tart for dessert, and Yuna helps my mother with the dishes while Dom begins the inquisition about The Trax. He is naturally interested in businesses, including
their development and demise. When the last dish hangs on the drying rack, Yuna bids Eunhye goodbye.

“Have you heard from Hyun?” Yuna asks suddenly, setting everything into a standstill.

The mentioning of my father’s name sends chills down my back.

“Yuna,” Dom scolds her passively.

“It’s ok,” Eunhye answers like a professional. “No. We haven’t heard from him since the last time we met at the therapy session.”

“I’m sorry,” Yuna apologizes when she glances at me. “I don’t mean to bring it up like this. I’ve just been wondering where my brother is. I’m sorry, May.”

“It’s ok,” I tell her softly.

Lina is looking at me with an apologetic face. She glares at her mother. “Mom, can you please be more sensitive?”

Yuna’s face reddens. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s been a while since we’ve heard from him. I’m worrying if he’s still alive at this point.”

The dark thought, at the start of its inception, travels from Eunhye to me. I refuse to think that my absent father is deceased. But I also refuse to think about his existence.

“We understand Yuna.” Eunhye’s face softens. The sadness and sorrow are still apparent in her eyes.

“Let’s go.” Dom places a hand on Yuna’s shoulders as a gentle reminder.

“If you hear anything, please let me know.” Yuna gives Eunhye an encouraging look. She grabs Eunhye for a departing hug.

My mother returns the hug. Eunhye closes her eyes tightly.

“Bye May.” Yuna turns to me next.

“Bye.” I hug Yuna first and then find myself sandwiched between her and Dom.

Lina hugs me next and whispers in my ears, “My mom can be so insensitive sometimes. I’m sorry. I will talk to you tomorrow.”

“Bye. Text me if you need anything,” I whisper back.

The look on Lina’s face does little to hide her broken heart. She gives me a final squeeze before receding into the background with her parents. Yuna and Dom fire rapid goodbyes at us when they step away from the door’s threshold. Eunhye and I wave goodbye to our relatives until they disappear out of sight.

“It was nice to have the family over.” Eunhye closes the apartment door behind her. She lets out a heavy, exhausted sigh. The lines on her face press together in exhaustion. She doesn’t want to bring up what Yuna mentioned. I join Eunhye in sweeping our crap underneath the worn-out rug.

“It was nice having them over,” I add shortly to my mother’s sentiment.

“I’m exhausted honey.” Eunhye gives me a brief kiss on my right cheek. “Everything ok with you?”

In her arms, I want to spill everything. I feel like a little child who wishes for her mother’s unconditional advice and comfort. Still reeling from Yuna’s reminder of my father, I also want to divulge to Eunhye the imminent issues I am tackling. I want Eunhye to hold my hands and guide me through this, but I know better. I should never involve the only parent in my life. I am afraid of Eunhye’s parental mindset and behavior. She will never allow me to pay back a gang lord by agreeing to join hands with another one. Eunhye will probably work triple shifts at the hospital to help pay back the loan rather than let me take matters into my own hands. I can’t bear the thought of the woman, who raised me as her own daughter and opened her heart unconditionally, doing so.

I bite my tongue lightly and resign. “I’m just a little disappointed about The Trax,” I tell Eunhye the partial truth. “I know you don’t like it, but the job was helpful with money.”

“Honey, there’s no need for you to stress about losing this job. When I said I’m happy the place is closing, I mean it. It’s dangerous working in that part of town. The last thing I ever want is for you to come across certain individuals.” Eunhye hits the nail on the head with her mother’s intuition. “Like I said, I can help you find something else. I know you want to save up money for college, but I’m here to help you. Don’t you ever forget that. You’re too independent for your own good.”

“I know mom,” I tell her softly. Feeling as though I might just blurt out the truth any second now, I lower my eyes from her gaze.

Eunhye examines me at arm’s length. It’s clear Eunhye wants to probe more, but the expression on my face disarms her somehow.

“Yuna means well when she asked about your father today.”

Almost immediately, the walls rise and cover my inner thoughts. “Please,” is all I can say.

Eunhye’s eyebrows come together in question. “I know you don’t like to talk about him, but it’s ok to acknowledge him May. He will come home one day, baby.”

“Please mom. I don’t want to talk about it.” I feel the vile building in my throat. I don’t want to choke on the emotions that surround my absent father.

Eunhye looks as though I am cutting her off emotionally. She reaches up to smooth the right side of my hair. “Ok,” she says softly.

“I’ll figure something out about work.” I attempt to reassure her, quickly changing the subject. “You should go to bed. I know you’re really tired.”

Eunhye looks torn, but she relents. “You’re right. Have a good night honey.”

I force a tight smile on my lips as my mother turns down the hallway to her room.

“Good night mom,” I call after her.

When Eunhye’s door closes behind her, I resign to sitting on the couch. The thought of banishing myself to my dark room, when sleep is clearly a million miles away, is a difficult decision. I turn on the TV and the bright screen flashes on. I begin my routine of flipping through the channels, desperately trying to find something to distract myself with.

My mind is too heavy to sleep. The thoughts of my random meeting with Mayhem ignite in my mind. His conditions and terms of the loan repayment exude socially immoral things. On top of that, I will be meeting with Choi Sangwoo tomorrow. How did my life go from zero to a hundred miles per hour?