April Loves Black Coffee: First Impressions (32 page)

I feel his presence as if I am tune
d to him.
Why is he here?
My intuition sits higher on her chair; she has her undivided attention on him. She wants to clap at his presence, but holds back for the moment.

“Jaewon,” I call his name before I can help it. Even the simple act of saying his name sends chills wracking down my body.

Mayhem lifts his head, gracing me the arresting view of his jaw line. The shadow under his hat doesn’t allow light to reach his eyes, but I can feel their intensity on me.

“Mayhem,” he corrects me with a voice that is similar to liquid, if liquid sounds just as flawless. He is correcting me with brute humor.

“What are you doing here?” My voice reflects the intimidation I feel. The courage I have inside struggles to surface.

Mayhem studies my face. His tenor and tone clips. “I think you should ask yourself the very same question.”

“What?” I don’t know how else to respond to the crass question.

Mayhem’s demeanor is cool and calm, emanating unbridled composure. “You don’t know what you are getting yourself into.”

“You should leave,” I tell him boldly. “Crist members are everywhere here. You won’t stand a chance.”

Mayhem lifts up the baseball hat. Light hits those dark eyes of his and I feel like disappearing neatly into the floor. “You have a lot to learn about our world May. Sangwoo’s men won’t touch me even if I strangle their Boss in his hospital bed.”

“How can you be so cruel?” His motive for being here confuses me. I’ve always pegged him to be heartless, but Mayhem is turning out to be crueler than I imagined. “First, you send your men to kidnap me and demand the money a day ahead of the agreement we made. Now, you’re here as though nothing happened and telling me I don’t know what I am getting myself into. I don’t know much about your world, but keeping your word is something that all organizations should adhere to am I correct?”

Mayhem’s jaw locks together. He’s not rattled by my complaints–a direct result from a severe heightened gang lord complex greater than Choi Sangwoo’s. Without warning, Mayhem grabs the front my sweatshirt; he does so in such a sleek manner that he’s barely touching me. Mayhem draws me to him and the distinct smell of his cologne permeates my nostrils. “I’m going to let you in on a little secret. In our world, we only keep our word as a personal favor. We never keep our word just because we gave it to you. Your cousin and her useless boyfriend will be happy to know that their debt’s paid in full. And thanks to you, I was also able to take some blood from Choi Sangwoo too.”

“Let me go.” I reach up to pry his fingers off me. My heart thuds wildly behind my ribcage, but not for the obvious reason of provoking a gang lord past his composure. I’m shaking because of the emotions he induces. It’s wrong to feel this way about this dangerous and violent man. How can someone from such a dark world be so alluring even when he is cold-blooded?

“I will be seeing you soon.” Mayhem relinquishes his grip. His lips part as those dark eyes scan my face. He steps back from me, from my space, and leaves me feeling dejected.

Holy crap. What does he mean he will be seeing me soon?
My intuition gives Mayhem a soft wave.

With a casual stride, Mayhem begins his journey down the hospital hallway. I am motionless as I watch his silent and deadly gait. Sangwoo’s men stand guard. They stop pacing as Mayhem comes closer. Surprise and trepidation taint their facial expressions.

Ren hangs up his cell phone in the middle of the conversation. The tattoos on his face scrunch together.

“Mayhem,” Ren addresses him. He squares his shoulders as though bracing for a fight. “What are you doing here?” 

There is amusement in Mayhem’s tone of voice. “You don’t want to play this game with me, Ren. Step aside.” As if he is reading Ren’s mind, Mayhem adds in that signature liquid tone of his, “I am not about to kill your Boss with his men outside. There is still a code of conduct in our twisted world.”

Ren appears as though he is about to die from the tough decision any second. In the end, he relents.

No!
Panic sweeps me as I watch Ren step aside for Mayhem to come through. Even the rest of Sangwoo’s gang seems intimidated by the rival gang lord to respond.

Mayhem touches Ren’s right shoulder. “Good man. It is always a regret of mine that I didn’t keep you close by my side.”

Ren lowers his head and keeps silent.

The height of Mayhem’s power ripples through everyone in the hallway. Even the nurses have ceased their conversation. We watch with bated breath as Mayhem saunters down the remaining length of the hallway and enters Sangwoo’s hospital room. 

I am gripping Sangwoo’s glass of water and ice chips so tightly my hands start to sting from the cold.
What I would give to be a fly on the wall in Sangwoo’s hospital room right now
, my intuition sighs. She’s enamored with Mayhem and can’t stop dreaming about their first date.

Minutes tick by. The hospital room remains silent. Sangwoo’s men begin to show their anxiousness. Ren’s facial expression is closed and tense. The air is palpable with strain.

Then, just as quickly as it started, the wait and tension dispels.

The door to the hospital room opens and Mayhem comes striding out. His dark eyes acknowledge the fact that we are like frozen statues. With one last glance at me, Mayhem retreats into the awaiting elevator. The steel doors depart to reveal that Mayhem didn’t come alone. Six men are waiting inside for his departure. Seconds after Mayhem steps inside, the elevator doors whisk to a close.

Silence fills the doorway again.

Ren hurriedly enters Sangwoo’s hospital room. A moment later, he returns relieved. “His water. Boss wants his water,” Ren tells me.

What?
I enter Sangwoo’s hospital room with my heart in my throat. To my surprise, Sangwoo has his eyes closed. There are no traces of tension from Mayhem’s visitation.

I settle Sangwoo’s water on the table stand to his right. I turn to watch him sleep. Sangwoo doesn’t have the most angelic sleeping face. For one, his forehead creases in an obscure manner and his lips lock tightly together. He looks better awake than unconscious, but he is still far from unattractive.

I walk quietly over to him and in my haste, trip over the wire of his IV tube. I land squarely across his chest and Sangwoo’s eyes pop open.

“I’m so sorry!” My clumsiness stuns me. “Uh . . . I got your drink,” I tell him quickly to make a hasty cover.

Sangwoo’s in shock too. Our faces are inches apart. He can just lean in . . . . What am I thinking?
Snap out of it May. Ew!
My intuition makes a face.

“May, can I . . . ask you something?” Sangwoo murmurs.

I nod. Is he going to ask what I think he’s going to ask? Where did this growth spurt of feelings come from? Am I really moved that he saved my life? “Anything.”

“Can you . . . get off my arm? I think you killed my circulation.” Sangwoo lets out a groan.

“Oh god! I’m so sorry!” I quickly remove myself from his body.

Sangwoo laughs with good humor. The blood rushes to my cheeks again. “I see that you’re fine now. I have to get going before Eunhye calls the Swat team to come looking for me.” I run a nervous hand through my hair.

Sangwoo clears his throat and he’s back to his gang leader mannerisms. “I’ll have Ren take you home.”

I frown. “I can take the bus. I don’t want to bother him.”

An unforgiving look marks Sangwoo’s face. “He will take you home. It’s not a bother. I am not going to take any more chances of you slipping through my fingers like last night.”

Whoa. Possessive much?
“I don’t owe anyone else money.” I try to make light of the situation.

Sangwoo doesn’t find my comment amusing. Slowly, he sits up and starts to take the wires out of his left arm.

“What are you doing?” I reach out to stop him. He’s truly similar to an errant adolescent who chooses drastic measures to obtain what he wants. My touch causes Sangwoo to freeze. “Why are you taking them off?”

“If you don’t want Ren to take you home, I will,” is Sangwoo’s stubborn justification.

“Don’t be foolish.” I take my hand back from him. So this is the passive-aggressive trek Sangwoo wants to cross with me. “Fine. Ren can take me home.”

Sangwoo lies back on the hospital bed. I hand him his cup of water. Sangwoo thanks me with a boyish grin. For the first time since I have met him, Sangwoo looks youthful and mischievous after getting his way.

Taking advantage of his good humor, I attempt to satisfy my curiosity. “What did Jaewon want?” The question is casual, but the ominous feeling plagues me.

“Oh? Since when does he let you call him by his name?” Sangwoo takes a large gulp of the water.

“He wasn’t too pleased with that,” I admit.

“No one’s allowed to call him by his real name.” Sangwoo finishes his water and sets the cup at the edge of the hospital bed.

I give him a speculative look, waiting for the answer.

Sangwoo finally divulges a piece of the puzzle with, “Let’s just put it this way, Mayhem and I go way back. Our histories are heavily intertwined. As much as we want to get rid of one another, we are entangled in a paradox. He can’t live with me, and I can’t live without him. But the rivalry and competition is real. There may come one day when one of us has to die at the hand of the other, but we are stuck in an infinite loop for now.”

My breath steals away with Sangwoo’s account of his relationship with Mayhem. For a moment, Sangwoo is lost in a trance. He breaks out of it quickly. “Were you afraid when Danny attacked you?”

“Yes,” I answer softly. My eyebrows come together at the memory. “Why couldn’t he wait until Saturday for the money?”

Sangwoo stares at me with an indescribable facial expression. His brown eyes are soft and caring, gentle and sensitive. But there is something much more. “Danny has always been the black sheep, even in this world. As a child, he had many socio-emotional problems. Mayhem is the only gang lord he listens to. Even so, sometimes Danny loses his way. Last night was the perfect example.”

“So did Mayhem come here to apologize on his behalf?” I have an impending desire to know the truth.

“No,” Sangwoo answers clearly. The look in his eyes tells me that Sangwoo is not going to disclose any more information about their meeting. I have one more stipulation to add to the initiation contract.” Sangwoo changing the subject of the conversation is an indication that the topic of Mayhem is over.

“Oh?”
Sheesh. He’s really not going to let you live it down
, my intuition grumbles.

“Since you will be released from The Trax soon, I think it would be best for you to quit Sansachun too. I need you to work full time with me when you start.”
Sangwoo lays the ground rules. He gauges my facial expression carefully. “Will that be a problem?”

I don’t want to push Sangwoo any further. Besides, quitting the minimum wage job is not something I will fight with him about. “Ok.”

“I’ll call you.” Sangwoo’s tone is firm. He’s surprised that I am not putting up a fight about keeping my first job.

“I hope you get better soon.” I reach for Sangwoo’s hand. My gratitude cause
s Sangwoo to freeze. “Thank you.” It is the right thing to do in order to show my appreciation.

The smile doesn’t touch his brown eyes. “Ren will take you home.” Sangwoo’s hands are cold and unresponsive.

N
O MATTER HOW HARD
I
want to put it into words, I cannot describe why I’m drawn Choi Sangwoo. In many cases, girls go through phases of being head-over-heels for bad boys, but this bad boy is different. This bad boy is a lonely, complicated, and mysterious gang leader. In most of the stories I have read, my literary heroines meet their significant other through friends and family with the occasional landmark exceptions such as at school, work, and a romantic public place like the library. Usually, the situation introduces people. In my particular case, the circumstances introduced me to Sangwoo’s world.

My relationship with Sangwoo is far from a love story or something like good-girl-falls-for-bad-boy. It’s rather complicated about how I feel about him and the entire situation. Sangwoo wants me by his side, but the reasons dance on the fine line of business and romance. 

I resign to this fate and I bury the nagging feelings that I’ve met Sangwoo before in a box at the base of my heart. I don’t know how to feel that he almost died for me. Is this normal in the underground world? People get shot, recover, and make feigned amends with their enemies? I have a lot to learn if this normal protocol. Moreover, the relationship between Sangwoo and Mayhem is intricately complex. From the way Sangwoo described it, it’s the type of relationship where one cannot live without the other despite the rivalry. There must be more pieces to the puzzle, but Sangwoo is not going to give up any details soon.

These are the thoughts that encircle me during the car ride home. Ren ends up taking me home, even though I tell him I am fine with taking the bus. He gives me the same offended look Sangwoo does. Unlike Sangwoo, however, Ren has more faith in my ability to walk to my apartment. I thank him graciously before I leave the car. Ren returns my goodbye with a simple nod. He’s lost in thought about the current events. I don’t blame him. In fact, I’m thankful for the silent car ride. I had time to absorb the chaos and control the emotions it riled up in
side me.