“What are you staring at?” he asked. “Do I have hot fudge on my face or something?” He wiped his mouth with his napkin.
“No…I’m sorry.” I shook my head, feeling like an idiot. I stirred my ice cream slowly to have something else to focus on.
“I don’t mind, you know…you looking at me, I mean.”
A shock of invisible electricity jumped between us, making my heart pound. I peered up from under my lashes to see him grinning at me. The heat in his eyes matched the warmth I was picking up from his soul, causing my palms to go damp.
“Whatever,” I said dismissively, trying to play it off as a joke. “Are you almost done, because it’s a school night, and I have to get home before you turn into a pumpkin.”
“Well, in that case, we better go. Orange is not my color.”
Brian tossed a tip down on the table, and we headed out to his car. It took almost twenty minutes to get back to my house. While Bryan talked, I amused myself bathing in the warm caresses of his emotion. At first, I only felt a general feeling of contentment, kind of like a warming in the belly. It was the feeling that I got most often from him. He must be a naturally happy person, I concluded. But as we rounded the turn onto my street, I began to pick up on some anxiety vibrating off of him. I glanced over at Bryan, now who was grinning and telling me a story about something that happened at jazz band rehearsal, and wondered what he had to feel so anxious about. This emotion reading thing was interesting, but without knowing the reasons behind the feelings made it darn frustrating.
My house was mostly dark when we pulled up. A faint glow of light from the basement windows indicated Aaron was holed up in his room. I could also see the violet flickering of a television on in my mother’s bedroom. She hadn’t even left the porch light on for me.
Bryan trailed behind me up to my front door, his hands shoved deep down in the pockets of his jeans, his shoulders rounded. I fumbled to fit the key into the door lock in the darkness. Stinking dead bolt!
“Here, let me help,” he said.
I handed him my keys and stepped out of the way. With a jiggle and a flick of his wrist, the bolt shot open.
“There you go.” He picked up my hand, placed the keys into my palm and closed my fingers around them. But he didn’t let go. At his touch, I felt his nervousness amplified.
We stood there for a moment, both of us looking at my small fist cradled in between his two large hands, his thumb rubbing my skin in lazy circles. His palms were soft but the fingers on his left hand and right thumb had calluses. I ran my finger over the thick pads.
“From playing my guitar,” he explained, the tone of his voice thick.
“Do they hurt?” I asked softly. We were standing close enough that I could feel the warmth rising from his skin.
“Not anymore.”
He reached for my other hand, folding it into his. “Your hands are so cold,” he commented.
That’s because all of my blood has risen to my face
. “And you’re so warm.”
But it wasn’t just the warmth of his hands that were heating me up. Waves of excitement and anticipation rolled between us. My heart palpitated wildly.
I raised my eyes to meet his. Though the corner of his mouth curved upward, his expression was serious. Even in the dark, I could see his gaze dip to my lips.
Bryan lifted a hand to touch a lock of my hair. So softly I could barely hear it, he whispered, “Cady, I want to kiss you.”
Somehow I was able to swallow the lump in my throat and reply, “I want you to kiss me too.”
A glimmer of exhilaration flashed in his eyes as he leaned down and slanted his lips on top of mine. It wasn’t the first time I’d been kissed —I guess I had to count Tyler Galvin from ninth grade —but being able to feel the emotion from both mine and Bryan’s perspectives was almost indescribable. Waves of nervousness turned into waves of pleasure as our lips parted deepening the kiss. The soft scent of his cologne mingled with the sweetness of his ice cream taste, making my head swim with delicious intoxication.
My breath became ragged as adrenaline coursed through our bodies. I gripped his shoulders for fear my legs would melt out from under me. Bryan placed a warm hand on the small of my back and threaded the fingers of his other hand through the back of my hair, sending shivers down my neck. Energy flowed back and forth between us in each place we touched like feedback. So complete was the emotional circuit between us, I almost couldn’t sense where I stopped and he started. I pushed my body against his, unable to get close enough. The pressure building and building until —.
Bryan’s mouth lifted from mine. I gasped. I could still feel the humming between us, but there was also a twinge of disappointment…on both of our parts, I think.
He touched his forehead to mine, his eyes drifting closed. “I wish I could stay here and kiss you all night, but my parents are probably home and wondering where I am.”
With reluctance, I took a shaky step back. “See you tomorrow?”
“Definitely.” He gave my hands a final squeeze before turning to walk back to his car. I waited until he pulled away from the curb before going into the house.
I ran up the stairs and flung myself on top of my bed. I could still taste him on my lips, smell him on my skin. I replayed the kiss over and over through my mind. Man, that boy could kiss!
I rolled onto my side, curling around a pillow. So, what did it mean? I now knew for sure that Bryan liked me, but how is it I really felt about him? Did I want a boyfriend? I kind of liked not being one of those girls who spent their entire high school years obsessing over some boy. It just seemed too exhausting. But Bryan was different, wasn’t he? When I was with him, things felt easier somehow. His calming presence soothed the stress of my life.
A short vibration in my pocket alerted me to a text message. I reached for my phone and checked the screen. The message was from Bryan and it read, “THAT WAS FREAKING AMAZING!”
Yes, it was.
I took my car to school the next day, so I could go straight to the animal shelter after classes ended. When I pulled in, I spotted Shawn leaning against his car, fiddling with his iPhone. Only he could pull off plaid pants and make them look stylish.
“Die, Pigs!” he grunted through clenched teeth as I approached.
“Playing Angry Birds again?” I asked.
He glanced up at me and gave me a half smile before turning his attention back to his game. “Yeah…it’s addictive.”
“Well, put it away. The bell is going to ring in like three minutes.”
“Fine,” he grumbled, locking his phone and shoving it into his back pants pocket. “I called you last night, but you didn’t answer your cell.”
“Yeah,” I said, as we walked toward the building, “The ringer set on vibrate, so by the time I noticed you called I was getting ready for bed. Did you need anything important?”
“Not really...just wanted to ask you about Bryan.”
“What about him?” I asked, trying to project casual disinterest while my insides turned to spaghetti at the mention of his name.
“Well, yesterday at lunch…he looked kinda into you.”
“Did he?” I asked, unable to keep the grin off my face.
Shawn laughed and shucked my arm. “Aw, man! You do have the hots for him!”
“Shut up,” I replied, giving him a little shove.
“Well, you do right?”
“I guess…”
“Cady’s got a boyfriend…” he teased, but only loud enough for me to hear. “Seriously, I think it’s cool that you’re finally interested in someone around here. He seems like a cool guy. Those eyes are to die for.”
“I know, right? His lips are even better.”
“Girl, you’ve been holding out on me! You have to call me tonight and tell me everything.”
Inside the doors, Shawn and I headed our separate ways with promises to see each other at lunch.
I floated through the hall with a smile on my face. It was crazy how good I felt for someone who had tossed and turned the whole night before. The memory of that fiery kiss and the emotions that came with it played on a continuous loop through my mind all night long. It was the best I’d felt in weeks, and I didn’t want to let it go.
I was so caught up in my thoughts, it wasn’t until Mr. Steele was well into his lecture that I began to notice emotions in the classroom besides mine. They seemed to swirl around me in a steady hum. If my range really was about ten feet, I figured over half of the students and Mr. Steele would fall within it. I struggled to keep my body relaxed and mind open. The only way to get a handle over this empathy thing was to understand it.
My eyes drifted closed so I could concentrate on identifying the different emotions around me. A sluggish feeling seemed to dominate. Tiredness? That would make sense given that it was first hour. It could also be boredom. There was a wave of excitement coming from somewhere…behind me? Yes, I could sense the direction. I snuck a glance over my shoulder and saw Sarah Dobbs staring at the clock, her fingers drumming the cover of her textbook. Yes, the excitement was definitely coming from her.
My thoughts were interrupted by Mr. Steele passing something out, and I realized with horror that we were having a quiz.
Crap!
I might be back to school physically and making an effort to keep up on my homework, but I hadn’t been paying much attention in class.
My panic must have shown on my face, because when Mr. Steele set the paper down on my desk he said, “Just try your best.”
A ball of worry sat in my stomach, this time I was fairly sure it was my own and not my classmates doing it to me.
When I flipped the quiz over, I scanned the questions. The whole thing was short answer.
Oh, come on! No multiple choice?
At least then I would’ve been able to guess at the answers. I groaned loud enough that the boy in front of me, Ben…something, turned and looked at me. I glared at him and read the first question to myself.
What are the three branches of the U.S. government? Well, that one was easy. I wrote, “Judicial, Executive & Legislative.” Maybe this test wouldn’t be so hard after all.
How many years make up a term for Senators? I didn’t know. I jotted down four years, since I know that’s how long Presidents are elected for.
How many members make up the House of Representatives?
I don’t flippin’ know!
I left it blank.
By the time the bell rang and students began piling their completed quizzes on the corner of Mr. Steele’s desk on their way out, over half of my page was still blank. Oh, well. I slapped the paper on the desk and hurried out of the classroom. I was so lost in my own thoughts I almost ran into Bryan, who was waiting for me outside the door.
“Whoa, there!” he said laughing. “You looked like you’ve been chewing on glass. What’s up?”
“We had a quiz, and I’m fairly sure I bombed.” We strolled down the hall toward my locker. “I just don’t get what’s happening with me and school. I mean I used to study really hard and get good grades, but now,” I sighed, “I just don’t care anymore.”
Bryan nodded and put his arm out to keep me from getting jostled by two boys who were play-fighting in front of us. “You’re probably still feeling lost from missing so much school. Have your parents talked to your teachers about how you’re going to deal with the work you’ve missed?”
“I don’t think our parents have even noticed that Aaron and I have gone back to school yet. Besides, I caught up on my missed work. It’s the problems concentrating in class that is getting to me.”
When we got to my locker, I spun the combination and switched out my books. There were still bits of tape stuck to Lony’s from where I’d ripped the pictures down. I closed the metal door and glanced up at Bryan, leaning next to me with a lazy grin on his face. All of my tension melted away.
Bryan reached out and picked up a lock of my hair, twisting it between his fingers. “You have the softest hair I’ve ever felt.”
“Um...” I wanted to compliment him back, but wasn’t sure what to say. Gee, I really think you’re hot, just didn’t seem right. “…thanks.”
There was a strange expression on his face…like he wanted to tell me something, but couldn’t get the words out. I concentrated on the emotion vibes he was sending out. It was tough to isolate him in the sea of students around us, but when I took his hand in mine, it was like all of the conflicting waves cut off and I was perfectly in tune with him. Touching him seemed to block out the feelings of the students around us, so that his emotions commanded my full attention. What didn’t make sense was the strange tension I was picking up from him.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
His eyes widened as if startled out of some deep thought. “Uh, I need to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.”
Oh, no! He regrets kissing me!
“What is it?”
He glanced around at the thinning crowd. “Not now. We have to get to class. Want to go get some coffee or something after school?”
“Sure.” I didn’t know if I could wait that long. “Just tell me this one thing or I’ll obsess over it all day…are you going to tell me that kissing me was a mistake?”