Are You In The House Alone? (plus: Love Me) (4 page)

CHAPTER 16

Okay, so Garrett was right. My
boyfriend was gay. (Well, okay,
ex
-boyfriend.)
(Whimper.) He had apparently been seduced by Marcus Conner.

What the—???

It left me feeling shocked and …
extremely unattractive.

Although April seemed to have a
different outlook on it when I texted her the break-up news.

After a bunch of shocked emojis she
texted:
“Well at least it was Marcus. Marcus is HOT.”

Yeah, that really didn’t make me
feel better.

In fact, I felt heartbroken.

… though not as heartbroken as one
might expect after a break-up … probably due to all of my lusting after Garrett
as of late.

April brought me over three tubs of
ice-cream to commiserate my stolen two years of total awesomeness. (Okay, I was
feeling kind of bitter.) I mean, come on. Really??? I had painstakingly went to
great lengths to look hot for that guy—for
two
years!!! Then what does he do?—discovers he’s gay.
Hello
, hand me the ice-cream!

April gives me another sympathetic
look. “Kind of a waste of all your hotness—I mean, when it went to a gay
guy.”

Exactly!!

But, um … heyyy, that’s what
Garrett had said.
Exactly
his
words.

Maybe Garrett was
right
when he accused me of being
afraid to be loved by an actual straight guy. A guy that could actually love
me. After all, my parent’s divorce had been big time scary. Torturous to
witness. I mean, how could people who were once so in love grow to hate each
other? Okay, my dad’s cheating on my mom had helped that process along. Big
time. But the whole thing—witnessing my mom’s pain—it sure didn’t
make me feel confident about love … and maybe it left me afraid of it.

Love seems brutal.

When I tell this to April, she
agrees. “Yeah, it seems to make everyone crazy.”

Exactly.

So, who could blame me for being
afraid of it?

I mean, I
wanted
it, of course, but my parent’s divorce had made me
afraid to wholeheartedly jump into it (aka: afraid of it) and it sure didn’t
help that mom’s second marriage seemed to be going down the tubes—
fast
—as well. Maybe that’s why I
stuck with a nice, safe, gay guy.

I mean, YES I had realized our
love-life was a little lacking. Lukewarm rather than steamy and passionate. But
Phoenix had been super fun and sooo sweet, and he never, ever pressured me. Or
even
tried
anything. He was …
safe.

My heart couldn’t get truly broken
by him, because he never really took it. (He just gave it roses and compliments—but
didn’t
really
, truly want it.)

The epiphany makes me realize I
need a change. Duh.

For once I’m just going to give my
heart what it wants.

Screw being “safe.”

Yeah, I had been afraid of love.
But now I was going to grab it.

… after a couple more bowls of
ice-cream.

CHAPTER 17

After a lot of carful deliberation,
I decided maybe I shouldn’t shoot for “love” after all.

I mean, not so soon after a
break-up. (That’s just not smart.)

Instead, I decided I’d go for the
next best thing—lust. For once I’d actually give into what my heart
secretly craved—Garrett!!!!

So, after a lot of moping and
eating of chocolate, I decided to just do it. I would seduce Garrett the exact
same way he seduced me. (Well, not
exactly
the same.) (Or even close, actually.) But I’d make him pine for me—the
way I’ve been pining for him.

Oddly, for some crazy reason, I
felt I could do it. I’m not sure why exactly, since he’s such a player. And
that’s what players do, right? They make the girl (aka: their target) feel
special. Like deep down, she is the only girl he
really
wants. Like he has actual true feelings for her and
her alone. She’s secretly his one and only. His soul-mate. His heart’s desire.

Garrett had made me feel that way …
for a second.

I mean he brought me a freakin’
umbrella.

That says something … right?

Well, to me it did.

To me it said volumes.

… maybe.

CHAPTER 18

I needed an outfit to seduce, and I
was
not
going to find it in April’s
closet. Or mine.

I went straight to the sexiest girl
I knew. (Well, okay, she’s a skank, but whatever.) I’d had two full years of
being totally non-appreciated for my sexiness, and I was now worried I had
none. What I’m saying is: I was clueless what appealed to guys (apparently)
(Grrr!)

The girl I went to is named Mallory
and she’s on my cheerleading squad. When she heard I wanted to seduce Garrett
she squealed and was all eager for me to come over to her house for a
make-over, which she seemed to imply I desperately needed. (Witch!!)

Anyway, she was eager to help with
my endeavor. (“The Giver” had given unto her a couple of times.)

When I told her I didn’t exactly
want his “giving,” that I just wanted to kiss him blind and make him dream
about me, she huffed like I was acting twelve.

“You don’t know what you’re
missing, Brandy. The guy’s got serious talent.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, well, his
tongue
was talented.”

She laughed, “That’s what I’m
saying.”

I went up in flames. “No! Ew. I
mean, in my
mouth.”

She nodded. With gusto. “Yeah, the
dude is the best kisser I ever sucked-face with,
definitely
. But Brandy, babe, that’s not even his best talent. When
he—”

“No!” I covered my ears,
interrupting her yuck talk. I didn’t want visions of him with
her
invading my dreamy fantasies.
I mean, seriously,
yuck
. “I don’t
want to hear it. I just want to kiss him wild—that’s all. Do that
‘suck-face’ thing—for hours, and hours and hours. Forever, basically. But
that’s it. I want him to end up wanting me—bad. Then there will be
confetti and unicorns and we’ll hold hands and ride off into the sunset.”

I say this last part junk because I
know I’m being delusional. The dude is “The Giver.” On what planet is he going
to end up wanting me?—the girl that until him, had only kissed a gay guy.
And she cluelessly did it for
two
years. (
TWO YEARS!!!!
)

Yeah, I’m really not up on teenage
romance.

Still, I want me some more of that
heavenly mouth action.

CHAPTER 19

After Mallory has me looking all
hot and sexy, she hands me a drink to ‘calm my nerves.’

“Thanks,” I tell her, since I
am
really nervous. And thirsty.

I go to take a sip, but then think
better about it as realization dawns in my nervous, frazzled brain.
“Wait—does this have alcohol in it?”

She shrugs. “Just a little.”

“Oh.” I set the glass down ‘cause I
don’t drink. And I sure don’t want to start now. I want to have a level head
when I go to that party. I want to rock Garrett’s world, not embarrass myself.

Mallory huffs impatiently. “Hurry
and drink it so we can go.”

I thought she already knew this. “I
don’t drink,” I tell her.

She huffs again. “I know, but
you’re all up tight. It will help loosen you up.”

I shake my head. “No, I seriously
don’t drink. Like, at all.”

“Okay, relax,” she says all
calm-down
-like. “There’s hardly any
alcohol in it. Just a tiny drop.”

“Whatever. I don’t want it,” I tell
her impatiently.

“Come on. It’s yummy. I made it
just for you. It’s almost totally virgin—just like you.”

Well, no. I’m
totally
virgin. One-hundred percent. Pure as the driven snow. (
Driven
snow?? What does that mean?)

Anyway, it
does
look really good—fruity. And I’m dying of thirst.
I peek up at her. “You
promise
there’s hardly any in there?”

She crosses her heart. “Barely a
drop.”

Well-ll, actually I hear there is
alcohol cooked into a lot of the food I order at fancy restaurants. And I never
feel any different after I eat the food. And my
mom
lets me order the food. And according to Mallory this drink has
even less than that—just a tiny drop.

And I’m sooo thirsty.

While Mallory is digging through
her closet for her other shoe, I hesitantly down the drink.

“Okay, lets go,” I tell her.

She blinks up at me, holding her
shoe. “Wait, you drank the whole thing?”

I shrug. “Yeah, you said there was
like virtually no alcohol in it.”

“Yeah, I
lied.”

Man, I hate her.

She gives a little laugh. “This is
going to be Garrett’s lucky night.”

CHAPTER 20

When we get to the party, Mallory
has me wait in a room upstairs, since I feel sort of dizzy.

“I’ll find Garrett and have him
come up here to you,” she says helpfully. She instructs, “Wait here.”

“Okay,” I tell her, appreciating
her being so helpful, since for some reason the room is kind of spinning. I
feel like if I had to roam around the party looking for him I’d probably fall
down or something.

So. Weird.

While I’m laying on the bed, I get
this bright idea—maybe I’ll have SEX with Garrett!! Suddenly, it seems
like it would be super fun. After all Garrett is crazy hot. And sooo not gay.
And he’s “The Giver.”

Yeaaah,
I want my first time to be with Garrett! Why not right here? In this room.
Tonight.

Right as I formulate this awesome
plan, Garrett enters the room. I scramble off the bed and try to do a sexy
pose, then realize it would have been sexier on the bed. D’oh. Oh well, I
strike my best sexy pose, holding onto the bedpost. But even clutching it I
feel like I might keel over. Of course that might be from the way he’s looking
at me.

He eyes me with a puzzled smile.
“You’re dressed … different.”

I try to sound all sexy. “Am I?”

He nods, looking even more puzzled.
“Mallory said you wanted to talk to me.”

“No,” I tell him, grabbing him by
his collar. “I want to
kiss
you.”

“Wait,” he grabs me by my wrists,
dodging my efforts to get my mouth on his. He cocks his head to be eye-level
with me. “Are you
drunk?!”

I don’t answer. Things
aren’t
going the way I planned. Never in
a million
years
did I think he
would
fight off
my kisses. I become
more insistent.

And change tactics.

Seductive,
Brandy
, I remind myself.

As I run my fingers through his
awesome hair, I see his eyes go dreamy. Like this is a dream come true for him
or something. (Ha!) (
Sooo
not gay!) I
can work with this. Slowly, slowly I bring his hesitant face down, drawing his
mouth near mine, then—wham! I crash my lips on his. I feel his intake of
breath and his heart speed up and his hungry mouth give in to mine, surrendering.
For a glorious moment he’s kissing me back yummily. But only for a second. Then
he makes a tortured groan noise and drags his awesome mouth from mine.

“Bandy, I can’t do this. I want
to—bad. But you’re drunk.”

I pout. “Only a little. It’s
Mallory’s fault,” I explain to him inanely. “She gave me this fruity drink
because she said I’m uptight. So she gave me a drink to relax me when she let
me borrow clothes she said you would like.”

I tilt my head up at him. “Do you
like them?”

He peeks down at me a second, then
nods slowly, his eyes looking hungry. “I do. Yeah,” he murmurs.

Then he squints at me.
“Wait—you’re dressed like this for
me?”

“Uh-huh.”

While he looks stunned, I start
kissing him again. This time he doesn’t keep me at arm’s length. Instead, he
tangles his hands in my hair, kissing me back with fervent passion, sending me
into a furnace of heat.

Holy smokes!!!

I’m on fire.

And in heaven.

He edges me towards the bed.

CHAPTER 21

I wake up confused, my head
throbbing.
Great, I’m sick.

I crack my eyes open (ouch!!).

Whoa!!
Where am I?? I blink and gaze around the room. Weird.
Seriously,
where am I???

I have no idea.

The sun is peeking through the
curtains of the windows, sooo … at least I know that—it’s not night.
That’s the only clue I have about … anything.

I rub my eyes, trying to form a
coherent thought.

Then—
wham!

My heart slams against my chest.
Hard. ‘Cause it dawns on me, I’m freakin’ naked!!!!

Oh
my gosh!!!
What
is going on?

I scramble out of the bed, and
quickly throw on the dress laying in a heap on the floor, starting to piece
things together. Mallory had loaned me this dress, and she’d given me a drink,
and led me here—to this room, and—and I was kissing Garrett all
passionate, and his hands were in my hair—and—and—

Nothing.

That’s all I remember.

I’d been with Garrett, kissing
him—

And now it’s morning, and I’m
naked!!!

My heart ricochets off my ribcage,
‘cause I hear someone on the phone in the attached bathroom. Oh my gosh!! It’s
a
guy’s
voice.

My heart thumps wild.

I was laying here
naked
, and there’s a guy??!!

I want to just dash out of the
room—disappear—forever. But I have to see who it is. Who was
here
with me.

I swallow. Who saw me naked?

I assume it’s Garrett (!!!!)

The thought fills me with a jumble
of emotions that I can’t even begin to sort out or process. It just makes my
heart pound and my knees week, and my body ignite with heat and tremors.

I’m so filled with overpowering
emotions I can barely move. But I have to see who it is.

The door to the bathroom is open a
crack. As I shuffle closer to it I can start to hear the actual words being
uttered, though the person is obviously trying to be quiet—you know, so I
can sleep. Undisturbed. Naked.

Shivering, I peek through the crack
in the door. It’s Garrett!!! Seeing him, my body goes up in flames. I was naked
in front of
Garrett???
My cheeks burn
like they’re on fire.

I shudder.
What did we do???

Trembling, I peek through the door
again.

He’s on his cell phone, sitting on
the bathroom counter with the back of his head pressed against the wall,
thumping it slightly.

He squeezes his eyes shut and I
hear his words, “Look, I have a regretful situation here that I have to deal
with somehow, then I’ll be right there.”

Pain slices through me.

Regretful situation? What, banging
his stepsister?

It was regretful???

All the air whooshes out of me. I
feel like I’ve been slugged in the stomach. Hard. By Garrett.

Oh, he does
not
have to deal with it.

I grab my shoes and run out of the
house.