Armageddon In Retrospect (17 page)

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Authors: Kurt Vonnegut

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At last he reached the drum, stood with stupendous effort, as though lifting bricks, and tumbled into the opening. I could hear him scratching against the insulation inside, and his breathing was amplified in the chamber, awing.

I was stupefied, unable to believe or understand what I’d seen, or to know what to do next.

“Now!” cried Dr. Tarbell from within the drum. His hand appeared for a moment, pulled the lid shut, and once more he cried, sounding far away and weak, “Now.”

And then I understood, and began to quake, and a wave of nausea passed over me. I understood what it was he wanted me to do, what he was asking with the last fragment of his soul that was being consumed by the Devil in him.

So I locked the lid from the outside, and I closed the switch.

Thank heaven Schenectady was nearby. I telephoned a professor of electrical engineering from Union College, and, inside of three-quarters of an hour, he had devised and installed a crude air-lock, through which air and food and water could be gotten to Dr. Tarbell, but which always kept an electrified, Devil-proof barrier between him and the outside.

Certainly the most heartbreaking aspect of the tragic victory over the Devil is the deterioration of Dr. Tarbell’s mind. There is nothing left of that splendid instrument. Instead, there is something that uses his voice and body, that wheedles and tries to gain sympathy and freedom by shouting, among other bitter lies, that Tarbell was dumped into the drum by me. If I may say so, my own role has not been without pain and sacrifice.

Since the Tarbell affair is, alas, controversial, and since, for propaganda reasons, our country cannot officially admit that the Devil was caught here, the Tarbell Protective Foundation is without Government subsidies. The expense of maintaining the Devil-trap and its contents has been borne by donations from public-spirited individuals like yourself.

The expenditures and proposed expenditures of the Foundation are extremely modest in proportion to value received by all humanity. We have done no more in the way of improving the physical plant than seemed absolutely necessary. The church has been roofed and painted and insulated and fenced in, and rotting timbers have been replaced by sound ones, and a heating system and an auxiliary generating system have been installed. You will agree that all of these items are essential.

However, despite the limits we have placed on our spending, the Foundation finds that its treasury is badly depleted by the inroads of inflation. What we had laid aside for small improvements has been absorbed in bare maintenance. The Foundation employs a skeleton staff of three paid caretakers, who work in shifts around the clock, feeding Dr. Tarbell, keeping away thrill-seekers, and maintaining the vital electrical equipment. This staff cannot be cut without inviting the incomparable disaster of Armageddon’s victory’s turning to defeat in a single, unguarded instant. The directors, myself included, serve without compensation.

Because there is a larger need, beyond mere maintenance, we must go in search of new friends. That is why I am writing to you. Dr. Tarbell’s immediate quarters have been enlarged since those first nightmarish months in the drum, and now comprise a copper-walled, insulated chamber eight feet in diameter and six feet high. But this is, you will admit, a poor home for what remains of Dr. Tarbell. We have hopes of being able, through open hearts and hands such as yours, to expand his quarters to include a small study, bedroom, and bath. And recent research indicates that there is every hope of giving him a current-carrying picture window, though the cost will be great.

But whatever the cost, we can make no sacrifices in scale with what Dr. Tarbell has done for us. And, if the contributions from new friends like you are great enough, we hope, in addition to expanding Dr. Tarbell’s quarters, to be able to erect a suitable monument outside the church, bearing his likeness and the immortal words he wrote in a letter hours before he vanquished the Devil:

“If I have succeeded tonight, then the Devil is no longer among men. I can do no more. Now, if others will rid the earth of vanity, ignorance, and want, mankind can live happily ever after.—Dr. Gorman Tarbell.”

No contribution is too small.

 

Respectfully yours,

Dr. Lucifer J. Mephisto

Chairman of the Board

List of Illustrations

Endpaper sketches courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

Frontispiece.
Self-portrait courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Letter from PFC Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., to his family, May 29, 1945" Letter from Kurt Vonnegut courtesy The Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Trust; facsimile provided by the Indiana Historical Society.

"Letter from PFC Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., to his family, May 29, 1945" “Back Door” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Kurt Vonnegut at Clowes Hall, Indianapolis, April 27, 2007" Sketch courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

"Wailing Shall Be in All Streets" “Confetti #44” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Wailing Shall Be in All Streets" Sketch courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Great Day" “Confetti #62” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Great Day" Sketch courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

"Guns Before Butter" “Civil Defense” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Guns Before Butter" Sketch courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

"Happy Birthday, 1951" “Confetti #36” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Happy Birthday, 1951" Sketch courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

"Brighten Up" “Confetti #46” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Brighten Up" Sketches courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

"The Unicorn Trap" “November 11, 1918” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"The Unicorn Trap" Sketch courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

"Spoils" “Confetti #56” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Spoils" Sketch courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

"Just You and Me, Sammy" “Trust Me” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Just You and Me, Sammy" Sketches courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

"The Commandant’s Desk" “Confetti #50” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"The Commandant’s Desk" Sketch courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

"Armageddon in Retrospect" “Big Goodbye” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

"Armageddon in Retrospect" Sketch courtesy Edie Vonnegut.

"Armageddon in Retrospect" “Confetti #8” courtesy Kurt Vonnegut & Origami Express LLC.

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