Armed and Fabulous (Lexi Graves Mysteries)

Armed
&
Fabulous

Lexi Graves Mystery
#
1

Camilla Chafer

Armed
&
Fabulous

Copyright: Camilla Chafer

Published: May 2012

ISBN: 978-0-9569086-6-7

Publisher: Audacious

The right of Camilla Chafer to be identified as author of this Work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted without written permission from the publisher. You must not circulate this book in any format.

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www.camillachafer.com
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Other books:

Stella Mayweather Series (Urban Fantasy)

Illicit Magic

Unruly Magic

Devious Magic

Magic Rising

Armed
&
Fabulous

All Lexi wants to do is get through the day at her boring temp job with Green Hand Insurance. That’s until she
discovers
the
vice president
, Martin Dean
,
in a pool of blood
and herself at the center
of an investigation into insurance fraud.

Millions of dollars are missing, the chief suspect is dead and her mysterious, sexy, new boss is not what he seems.

Recruited by the joint task force working on the case, all Lexi has to do is work out who killed
Dean
and where the missing millions are. That’s easier said than done when her sister
insists upon
the baby shower to end all baby showers, her wise
-
ass cop family just want
s
to keep her safe, someone
keep
s leaving her creepy gifts
,
and all the clues
point
to a seedy sex club on the wrong side of town.

As the bodies start to pile up, Lexi is on a race against time to find the killer and the money, before she’s
the
next
one
in the murderer’s sights.

Chapter One

Finding dead bodies
wa
sn't in my job description.

Of course, sneaking out of work
wa
sn't in my job description
either
,
but that
never
stop
ped
me from doing it.
There are a lot of things wrong with being a temp,
the doormat of the office totem pole,
but fortunately
,
I've learned how to take advantage of just about any weak boss, and outsmart the smart
est
ones. For starters, I'm super bright
,
but everyone thinks I'm
utterly
dim, possibly on account of my super long and very gorgeous blonde hair
,
(
if I don't say so myself
,
so long
as
we gloss over its expensive bi-monthly
bleach
and upkeep
),
along with
a pair of upright and out there assets. No, not my boobs
:
they're courtesy of Wonderbra. I mean my
inquisitive
and determin
ed nature
. At least my school careers
counselor
told me
they were assets
;
mostly
,
however,
they seem to get me into trouble. Given my current
position
as office dogsbody at Green Hand Insurance, they certainly hadn't
landed
me a decent job.

I
was startled and jumped
as my annoying boss
,
Adam Shepherd
,
loomed over my desk, appearing as if from nowhere.
"Lexi, what is it that you
’
re doing?"
he asked,
his eyebrows knitting together suspicio
usly
.

Shepherd
wa
s annoying for two reasons. One: he never seem
ed
to do anything
in the way of work,
and I ha
d
no idea how he actually got a job as my manager
!
A
fter six months,
I was still
relegated to being
a temp
,
without even a whiff of a permane
nt job upgrade at the firm. Two: he i
s so crazy
good
-
looking
,
it’
s unfair
to
the rest of the male species. It
’
s
something between his dark, unruly
,
hair
(
that look
s
like it rarely s
ees
a comb and ha
s
no
clue
which direction to grow
)
,
and
his smoky blue eye
s. It also could have
a whole lot to do with his super sexy body
, today
hidden
beneath
dark pants, plain white shirt and striped tie. Not that
I was even
looking. Much.

"Um," I said, sneaking a finger sideways on my keyboard to change screens so he couldn't see
the Victoria’s Secret webpage
I was browsing
.
I
was supposed to be
writing a report. Of course,
the report was already written
,
but any good temp knows that you never admit to how fast you can complete a task
;
otherwise
,
you
could
end up unemployed
, seeking
a new assignment
since you’d already accomplished your first
. And I could only
take
so much of my temp manager
at the agency
before I started
getting
visions that involved her,
me,
a boxing ring and a wet kipper
, with
me winning, o
f course
. So, naturally both my bi-monthly check
and I
didn't want to
get
hassle
d
by
her for another couple of months.

"Yes?" Shepherd raised his eyebrows, waiting.

"Just finished your report, Adam," I said brightly, moving the mouse so I could click
“
print.
”
"
I
sent it to your printer
just
this minute." See
? S
uper smart! I can online window shop secretly, pre
tend to just finish
a report I actually finished hours ago
,
and send it to the boss' printer all at the same time
! Could you?

"Right, thanks, Lexi," said Adam and I flashed another brilliant smile at him, which I wiped off my face as soon as he turned to walk
away.
T
he printer
was no more than ten feet away,
near his
large
corner desk.
In my peripheral vision
, I saw him pick up a piece of paper.

One
single
sheet of paper.

There should have been ten sheets.

Maybe someone
forgot
to fill the paper
tray
with frickin
’
paper again? But Adam wasn't looking at the paper
tray
,
or hitting it
;
he was looking at me,
then down at the single sheet of paper
…
a
nd at me again... smiling like a smug puppy that had just eaten a slipper
,
but
knew it was too cute to be punished.

I
rolled
my
castered
office chair slightly to the left
until
I was concealed behind the big
,
beige monitor that dominated my desk. Except... I couldn't help peeking again.

Adam's chest rose and
fell in sharp rapid movements, his mouth a tight line
as if
he w
ere
trying very hard not to laugh
. T
hen he looked up.

I ducked behind my monitor again
as he crossed the floor
—
t
owards
me.

God. What had I done this time? I checked the screen. My mouse pointer hovered over the
“
print
”
button. Only it wasn't the report screen. Somehow
,
I
had managed to slightly minimiz
e the screen with my report
,
and instead
,
my pointer hovered over the
“
print'
”
option on the screen below.

I nudged it, clicked on the screen and paled.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

My heart plummeted
and my stomach did an Olympic-s
ize
d backflip
as I realized what I had done.
Why wasn't there an
“
unprint
”
button?
Why? Why? Why!
“Urrrgh,” I squeaked as I hit keys at random, thinking s
omeone should invent one and make a
ll
unwanted
printouts combust before anyone else got their
filthy
hands on them.

"Lexi?" Adam
was standing
next to me, the piece of paper in his hand.

I pla
stered on my
“
I'm-so-happy-to-serve
-you
, y
ou-patron-saint-of-temps
!”
bullshit smile that I was so proud of
,
(
after a painful amateur drama workshop my best friend
,
Lily
Shuler
,
forced me
to attend),
and went for the best defens
e I could think of. That's right. None.

"Sir?" I grinned like an empty-headed bimbo.

"What's this?"
asked
Shepherd
.
The
n the
bastard laughed.

"Sir?" I chirped again,
flicking
my
mane of blonde
hair. There's absolutely no point people thinking you're stupid if you don't act like it occasionally.
Of course, it’s p
urely so I can get aw
ay with loads of stuff, you see?
Like
“
not understanding
”
how the photocopier works, or
“
O
h! These files are
so
heavy, I couldn't possibly carry them
,”
or
“W
hat does that do?
”
and hitting something irreversible on a spreadsheet
.
B
ut people think I'm sweet for trying
and never
bother me by
asking for my help again
. Yes, yes, I know, it's gaming the stupid system
;
to which I say, this is why I would have made a fabulous spy.
I could game the best of them.