Around the World in 80 Girls: The Epic 3 Year Trip of a Backpacking Casanova (9 page)

From
Kyoto we made daytrips to Kobe and Nara with a few other people. Then we went to a few other cities together, including Hiroshima and Nagasaki, where we visited the Atomic bomb memorial museums. We mostly travelled by Shinkansen bullet train, which was one of the world’s fastest trains at that time, reaching a good 300km/h – which seems pretty fast till you realize that they’re now experimenting with trains that can reach 581km/h. It was quite impressive to see the world flashing by while sitting in a luxury leather seat. Of course, this came at a price: my funds were getting depleted daily and my budget was shot to hell as a result. I spend about 2500 dollars in just twenty-four days there while staying in hostels, capsule hotels and eating cheap food from the local 7-elevens. It was the public transport that killed your daily budget.  Every metro ride cost a few bucks and you had to make loads of rides a day. The system in Tokyo is insanely complicated, with all sorts of different operators who don’t necessarily work together, so buying a day pass didn’t really help. Taking the trains between cities was horribly expensive too. It wasn’t money wasted, since I did get to see lots of places and attractions, but compared to Russia it was murder.

Mark
and I are both tall blond guys and we got a lot of looks from schoolgirls, but it was hard to take a picture with them. I’d already found out that talking to those hot Japanese schoolgirls is almost a waste of time. First because most of the time they’re very young. The second reason is that they’re super shy and sometimes just run off when you approach them. The third reason is the enormous language barrier you’re dealing with, that makes even a basic conversation impossible.

We
ended up in Fukuoka, which is where I said goodbye to him.  I was taking the ferry to the Asian mainland, beginning with South Korea. In retrospect I regret not going out because I heard Fukuoka has a decent nightlife. But I was still more focused on travelling than on picking up girls, so I just stayed at the hostel that night, buying some beers and having fun with the other guests. I did some minor flirting with a young French girl from Paris.

South Korea – Busan

My first day in South Korea was also the most fun. I got onto the ferry at Fukuoka in Japan and I spotted a nice-looking girl in the crowd. She approached me before boarding and we got talking. This Canadian girl was teaching English in South Korea and did a visa run to Japan. On the boat we shared stories and downed shitloads of beer during the five-hour boat ride. She told me that she had also travelled large parts of the world. She worked on giant private yachts owned by millionaires, mostly in South America. They had crazy parties on board with lots of hookers and blow. She told me she was a lesbian and got offered girls (pros) all the time. Then she told me about how her ship got hijacked and robbed by pirates on the coast of Honduras and she barely survived. Next up was a shark attack. After this she worked as a paparazzo and she told me some crazy stories about some celebs.

When
we drunkenly stumbled off the ferry, we agreed to see each other again in Seoul, which unfortunately didn’t actually happen – she worked crazy hours.

I
had arrived in Busan, the second-largest city in South Korea, with a population of 3.6 million. I took the metro to the hostel and got talking with a Korean guy. He was very impressed with my plans to travel the world and invited me for dinner. His brother-in-law owned a restaurant and we ate a huge amount of food there and drank some Soju, Korean rice wine. After this he took me to a karaoke place. I became a bit skeptical at so much friendliness.

Inside
the karaoke place we sat down in a private room and drank some more Soju. After a while a few girls walked in and my Korean buddy told me to choose. I chose a tall girl, but I was getting a bit worried what was going on. I didn’t want to get landed with a huge hooker bill at the end of the night.

Apparently
the girls were there to keep us company. They poured our drinks and spoon-fed us fruits. Later the girls started singing and dancing and you could touch them a bit but not too much. The Korean guy was getting drunk and he paid the bill. After this we walked through the lobby and there was a Kung-Fu movie playing on TV. The Korean guy wanted to show off and dared me to spar with him. I said OK because I’d done about ten years of martial arts myself and the Korean dude was pretty drunk. To my surprise he was lightning fast and pretty much kicked my ass in that little play fight. I wasn’t sober myself but still, that was impressive. We took a taxi to my hostel and said goodbye. Looking back at this experience, I should have boldly asked for a girl in a Korean schoolgirl outfit. I loved the Japanese schoolgirl look and it’s the same in South Korea, although girls there are build a bit huskier.

I
was hungover as fuck the next morning and spend most of the time in bed. The owner of the hostel later told me that the Korean guy and a friend were at the door but he had sent them away. The owner wanted to keep his place secret and only for foreigners/backpackers and not have it become a place for drunken businessman looking for a late-night sleeping place.

That
afternoon I went sightseeing with two guys I met at the hostel, one from Switzerland and one from New Zealand. We took a cable ride up a nearby mountain and got a spectacular view over the city. At night we went out with a small group. I remember sitting outside the 7-11 and drinking the cans of beer we bought there while Robin, a Korean/American guy, told us an insane story about an English guy in a hostel he stayed at in Rio de Janerio. It’s a long story but let me sum it up: one English guy, two transvestite Brazilian “girls”, lots of coke, a fight about one of the trans chicks having too small a cock and the English guy therefore not wanting to have sex with them, angry drugs dealers waving guns around, the trans chicks sitting out the whole day in front of the hostel waiting for the English guy to come out and pay them, and sketchy cops looking for bribes. And the English guy didn’t care that the whole hostel knew what happened! As Robin described it, the guy was a Zen master of not caring. He just sat in the hostel reading a book.

My
last day in Busan I spent with the New Zealand guy, Greg.  We went to a local fish market and ate a lot. You could just point at live fish in basins and a few minutes later it was on your plate. The food in South Korea is a lot cheaper than in Japan and you could eat a decent-sized meal for just five dollars. At one point there was no place in the hostel for Greg and me because of prior reservations, so we found an all-night bath house to stay at for only seven dollars a night. You could bathe and soak for hours in the large complex and then sleep in a capsule. As I was almost the only white guy, I got a lot of stares from the Korean guys, especially below the belt. I’m not saying I’m hung like a horse, but I was compared to them.

South Korea – Seoul

After six hours on the train Greg and I arrived in Seoul, the capital of South Korea. Greg is an English teacher there and went home to his place in the suburbs. I went looking for a hostel because I hadn’t booked anything this time. When I reached a hostel the woman/owner said she had no bed available for me but also said she’d just opened a new hostel that week. She drew up a route description and gave me the security door code, and I walked over there. When I arrived I saw that it was a massive villa, and all for me because I was the only one there except the guy who worked there, Bong. He was so bored that he kept making me sandwiches all the time just to have something to do.

That
night I went out to the Monkey Beach Bar (go there if you’re in Seoul), where I met up with Greg and four others from the hostel in Busan. That was a great night out. We had lots of drinks and around 3 in the morning, the bar staff handed out super-soakers and everyone started shooting at each other. It was funny to see how some guys turn into hyperactive Rambos as soon as they’re handed a water gun. Grow up, dudes. After this, everyone was soaked in water and it was getting cold outside. I tried to pick up one of three drunk, crazy girls from the USA I met outside, but of course I failed, having no game and never even having heard of pick-up artists or techniques at that point. I’d taught myself a few tricks during my trip but they weren’t going to be not good enough. A lot more happened that night but I’d best keep it short.

After
a few days I had to leave the hostel because a group of thirty Dutch engineering students had booked the villa. I went to the other hostel. After checking in I walked outside for some food and a blonde Swedish girl approached me. She had just arrived and was going to stay a semester to study. We started talking and had some coffee. Johanna was a pretty girl and we visited a lot of places together that day. Sightseeing was still high on my priority list. At one point we had to cross a busy street and at that moment I came up with some touching techniques. At first I put my hand on the middle of her back: ok, no negative reaction. Then I grabbed her hand and we sprinted across the street. Once on the other side I didn’t let go of her hand and she held on to mine. From that day on I always use this technique. It’s a perfect way to “protect” the girl, and yes, girls like this. It’s a good way to test if the girl has interest in you.

After
visiting a palace Johanna and I sat down in a small park together and something crazy happened. We were just sitting on a bench, looking at the map and all of a sudden an enraged red-headed Korean guy showed up about forty meters away. He was about forty-five years and he was shouting at us: “This is Korea, get out, go away!” I‘s been warned that a lot of Koreans are (silent) racists but this was just insane. He walked towards and I got up in front of Johanna.

Some
other Korean guys got of their benches and tried to calm the situation down. The crazy guy was furious for no reason at all. Johanna started pulling my arm. “Let’s go,” she pleaded. One old Korean guy tried to reason with the mad man and got slapped in the face really hard. At this moment I stepped forward to do something about it but got pushed away by the other Korean guys telling me it was better to leave. Johanna pulled my arm again and I walked off with her.

When
walking away I got really angry because I kept thinking of the poor old man getting slapped that hard because of us. I wanted to go right back and kick that fucker’s ass but Johanna didn’t understand why and asked me why I was so aggressive. At that very moment I realized it must have been a huge turn-off for her and I calmed down a bit.

A
day later I met her again and we went to a park. We were lying in the grass close to each other and I looked her deep in her big blue eyes. She asked me: “Are you flirting with me?” All I could think of was: “Maybe”. This triggered another thought in me and I’ve been using this line ever since, although slightly changed.

Me: Are you flirting with me? (Look her deep in the eyes and smile at her, aka a flirty look)

Girl: E
h… no

Me:
Are you sure? (Keep looking flirty at her, touch her somewhere)

Girl: E
h… eh yes

Me:
Sure you’re sure? (Keep flirting)
 

Ok,
now you just have to size up the situation. If she answers “Yes” or “maybe” after the first or second question, go for the kiss. If she keeps denying, say you’re just joking and try something else later. Don’t give up!

Did
I kiss Johanna? No, I got the LJBF (let’s just be friends) speech from her when we sat in a bus and curled up together to keep warm. I tried to kiss her there but she said she’d just arrived in Seoul and didn’t want a relationship now. Most of the time that means “I don’t want a relationship with YOU”. But then again, she had got there just a day before and had a lot on her mind, starting with a new study program and looking for a place to stay.

This
marked the beginning of a lot of struggling with Scandinavian girls.

Back
in the hostel I met a few people in the dorm. There was a Mexican/American guy we nicknamed him El Mariachi, a black guy we nicknamed Young Obama and an American/Puerto Rican girl we nicknamed Dirty Jersey. Her nickname came from the fact she was from New Jersey and used the foulest language ever. My nickname was Holland because I had hung up a small Dutch flag in the dorm. It was a two-level room and I had the top level for myself. I hung up the small plastic flag I had and joked about how I colonized that spot.

Dirty
Jersey was blond and fat but had the biggest pair of boobs I’d ever seen in life. And I’ve had some big ones since I was a teenager, not to mention on this trip.  Remember the girls of Khabarovsk?  Jersey must have had the same diet. When we walked out the dorm, I stood with my back to her and purposely grazed her boobs twice with my elbow. She said, “Hey that’s the second time you touched my boobs”. I turned around and said: “O, I’m sorry, did I touch your boobs?” while poking them with my finger. This was a very ballsy move and she could’ve slapped me in the face. But she didn’t and just laughed and said “O, stop it!” “Stop what?” I said, “doing this?” and poked her boobs again. The tone was set for that night.

We
all went for dinner and Dirty Jersey was wearing a black dress with cleavage was so deep that you could lose a whole Korean in there. El Mariachi and I were joking about it. We went to a club and I was dancing with Dirty Jersey, grabbing her boobs all the time in front of everyone. All the Koreans were looking at us, especially the girls, who are mostly flat-chested; some even took pictures of her. Her boobs were that big.