ArousingMemories (3 page)

Chapter Two

Severin stopped at the closed bedroom door and marshaled his
thoughts and his courage. The doctor had told him Noah was awake and was
allowed visitors. Still, Sev hesitated. What did one say to a lover who
couldn’t remember him? And, standing there, pondering this, Sev could finally
think of Noah in that way. They were lovers, only a few times and in a hot and
furiously primal way. But lovers they were even if the emotions involved hadn’t
had time to gel. If nothing else, Noah Turner was a friend and Sev cared about
what happened to him. It had been a punch to the gut to learn Noah had been
injured, and while it was always bad when one of their own went down, this was
different. Noah mattered in a way other people did not.

Not other people as in Haley, of course. Haley had always
been the exceptopn to the rule in Sev’s world. He had never been involved with
a subordinate before Haley. He’d worked hard to ignore the desire that hit him
whenever she was around—tried, failed, and failed miserably when he fell in
love with her. She had gotten to him as no one else had, and their breakup
still hurt him more than he could even acknowledge to himself. It was like
looking at the sun. He had to turn away or get hurt in a way he wasn’t sure he
could recover from. Seeing her now and working with her was already torture. He
wanted her as much as always and just looking at her caused his heart to
squeeze tight.

It also made his cock hard. It strained against his zipper
and had since he’d confronted Haley in the hallway. Shit, he hadn’t lied when
he told her she was beautiful. It had taken great control not to add how
desirable she was. It had taken even more control not to grab her and kiss her
and hold her tight. Or take her against the wall the way his cock begged him
to. It certainly didn’t seem to understand they were no longer together. It
always did the happy dance of arousal when she was near. Knowing his cock
wasn’t going to get what it wanted, and knowing he had to go in and see a sick
man, he worked to get himself back under control. He concentrated on what the
poor guy was going through. It helped to kill his growing erection.

Except thoughts of Noah in general brought it back again.
Sev remembered the second time he had seduced a subordinate, mere months ago.
The kid was a good ten years younger than himself, nearly as tall, but leaner
and almost as pretty as Haley. Technically, Noah was Haley’s subordinate, but
he had been sent to run a routine mission out in California with Sev, so the
issue was one of semantics. The guy’s allure had been immediate. Sev’s cock had
given the new guy a welcoming salute which said something. As a bi-man in a
straight world, Sev had always been careful not to approach a man simply
because he found him attractive. That had been particularly true in the army.
Perhaps his body had known more than he had, because Noah hadn’t even tried to
ignore what he saw. He’d glanced down at the tent in Sev’s pants and issued a
smile of pure invitation.

Neither had acted on their interest until after the mission.
They had been in the locker room shower at L.A. headquarters, alone, tired from
a job well done, but not too tired.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Standing under the hot stream, Sev looked across the
communal shower room to find Noah slowly pumping himself erect under one of the
showerheads.

“Do you mind?” the kid asked. “It’s the adrenaline, I
guess.” His smile clearly indicated his willingness.

Sev shook his head and then nodded it, his own cock growing
in anticipation. “I don’t mind, and yes, it’s the adrenaline.” Shutting off the
water Sev stood under, he added, “You did great out there and underneath the
high of the excitement, you must be tired. You shouldn’t have to do that
yourself.” Sev sauntered over to the other man, keeping his eyes on the hard,
uncut length Noah still gripped in his hand. They were well matched, Sev
thought, in size and arousal, the only real difference being that Sev was
circumcised.

He entered the stream of water with Noah, and backed the
other man against the slick tile wall, dislodging Noah’s grip on his cock. Sev
took hold of the smooth shaft. It jerked at the touch. He brought his face
close and spoke in a low, hoarse tone. “Just so you know, I don’t intend to
stop at a hand job, boy. I intend to fuck you.”

“I’m not a boy, and being fucked by you was my plan all
along.” So saying, Noah closed his eyes and surrendered to Sev.

Sev could tell the guy expected to be kissed and worked into
a climax. Because Sev liked to be the alpha male—hell, needed to be the alpha
male—he did what he had wanted to do from the very moment he set eyes on the
pretty boy. Dropping Noah’s cock, he spun the other man around to face the
wall. Noah grunted in surprise but otherwise acquiesced.

Sev turned off Noah’s water before placing both hands on
Noah’s tight, perfect ass, squeezing and kneading the smooth flesh in
appreciation. He wanted to savor the moment, make it last, but he hadn’t been
bullshitting about the adrenaline. Coming off an op, he was too aroused to take
it slow. He released the man’s ass and pumped liquid soap into his hand. He coated
his hard-on, making himself slick. Given their extensive medical exams, condoms
were blessedly unnecessary. He returned to the object of his desire and clasped
the cheeks once more. This time he pulled them apart enough to slip his cock
between them. Stilling his movements, he placed his mouth by Noah’s ear. “Are
you a virgin?”

“Hell, no,” was the amused reply.

“All I needed.” Sev pushed forward, slowly and carefully,
pressing his cock against the other man’s puckered hole and entering the tight
place with care. Or at least he tried to be careful. The moment he entered the
welcoming heat and heard Noah’s moan of pleasure, Sev lost control. He pumped
hard and fast. With each thrust he embedded himself deeper, pushed his lover
against the shower’s wet walls. The climax hit him like a proverbial freight
train. He barely had time to reach around and grasp Noah’s cock, bringing the
guy over the edge with him. They both yelled with their release, two voices
echoing each other’s pleasure. Sev worked Noah’s ass and cock until both men
collapsed in a heap on the tile floor, a tangle of arms and legs and labored
breaths.

And when they were calmer, blood no longer racing through
their bodies, Sev leaned over and kissed the younger man, long and slow and
sweet.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Remembering the first time and all the rest that followed
caused Severin to lean against the wall and groan. His cock was hard against
the fly of his jeans again, painful and demanding. He pressed the heel of his
hand against the bulge and pictured Noah lying on a bed, welcoming him inside.
Then the picture changed and it wasn’t Noah but Haley who looked up at him with
desire. The images of two sets of eyes, one green, one brown, morphed from one
to the other. Two sets of arms lifted up, beckoned him. Both were strong and
muscular, one more so, one softer and more comforting. And there were two kinds
of heat he buried his cock into, two kinds of grips milking him to climax.
Different, yet each one perfect in its own way. He wanted them both, he wanted them
now.

“Shit!” Severin swore and pressed the heels of both palms
against his eyes instead of his cock. Still leaning, he took deep breaths and
forced himself to the here and now. Apparently Haley wasn’t the only one too
tired to think clearly. He made his body stop ruling his head. He was a man who
prided himself on control. These thoughts were way out of it.

He had a job to do and it started with walking into that
room and seeing if there was something he could do to help the mission. Maybe
it meant touching Noah in all the ways he wanted to. He had no doubt sexual
touch was what Haley planned. But he also knew that while the world had changed
in many ways, it was still harder for two men to be involved than a man and a
woman. An amnesiac might be happy to accept a woman’s advances, but not
necessarily a man’s. He and Noah hadn’t really talked about their relationship.
Hell, talking was what women did. Men were more likely to simply fuck for a
while. If it led to a lasting relationship, yeah, maybe talking would occur.
They hadn’t gotten that far, maybe never would have. So Sev didn’t know if Noah
was as comfortable as he with being bisexual or one of those guys who insisted
he was straight, but would be gay for the “right” man. He hadn’t been Noah’s
first, that was all he knew, and it wasn’t enough.

So he’d play it safe, keep the banter with Noah light until
he got a better sense of how the other man viewed him. For certain, there would
be no replay of his most recent fantasies. There was no way he and Haley and
Noah were going to wrestle around on the sheets together. That would be a
disaster even if Haley was willing, which he knew she would not be. She hated
him even if she still desired him. He couldn’t blame her. He’d made a hash of
things and there was no going back. There was no taking back the rotten and
unfair things he’d said to her even though they were born more from his own
fear than anything else. Far better for him to concentrate on the mission, to
picture the possible devastation if they weren’t able to stop these murderous
sons of bitches. Yeah, that did it. Thinking about dead innocents definitely
killed his desire.

With his body under better control, Sev took a deep breath
and knocked.

He heard the knock on the door, but before he could respond,
it swung open and a tall, muscular man walked in. For an instant, a frustrating
one, he thought he recognized the other man then the thought was gone. Instead
he saw yet another stranger, one who watched him with a mixture of hope and
concern. Once more he felt a failure. Why the hell couldn’t he remember?
Sitting up straighter in his bed, he tamped down the growing panic and forced
himself to act as normal as he could, whatever normal was.

“Come in,” he said, although it was a moot point because the
other man was already in the bedroom and closing the door quietly behind him.
Everything about the guy screamed authority and as it had with the woman,
Haley. Something inside him said he needed to pay attention to this person. And
as with Haley, his body, weak as it was, reacted to the sight of this man with
warmth, and desire? His cock, lying naked beneath the sheet, strained to come
to life. Was it possible he was attracted to this guy? Was it possible he was
involved with him? His body had reacted awfully fast.

There was no way for him to know. No one was telling him
much of anything except his name. Noah. Noah Turner. He wasn’t sure he even
liked the name, although he had to get used to thinking of himself as such. For
damn sure he didn’t know how he felt about being attracted or involved with
anyone, let alone two people. And a woman and a man? What the fuck! The
information that managed to stick in his brain told him this was weird. Or,
maybe his brain was so fried he was thinking and feeling things that didn’t
really exist.

Something in his expression must have conveyed his thoughts
because the other man stopped by the end of the bed and cleared his throat. “Is
this a bad time?”