Arrest-Proof Yourself (5 page)

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IS THIS A HOW-TO-BE-A-CROOK BOOK?

No. If it were, the title would be different—something like
Perfect Murders: A Step-by-Step Guide
, or
Your Future in Armed Robbery
. This book deals exclusively with the plight of clueless petty offenders who comprise the overwhelming majority of people who are arrested, jailed, and tried by a criminal justice system that to an alarming degree is operating mindlessly on autopilot. FBI statistics show that violent crimes are down, way down, from what they were 10 and 20 years ago, yet the jails are packed and criminal court calendars are hopelessly jammed. Who are all these people getting busted? Let’s look.

THE CRIMINAL PYRAMID

At the top are those we fear most—violent criminals. Police are quite competent in arresting murderers, armed robbers, rapists, and child molesters. The more crafty serial killers and sex criminals may take a long time to catch, but police are dogged, and they spend years hunting these guys.

The other occupants of the top perch in crime land are big crooks who operate traditional criminal enterprises such as drug distribution, illegal gambling, loan-sharking, protection rackets, labor union racketeering, etc. These guys are on the police radars but can go for years without being arrested. The reason is simple. Arresting organized crime figures is easy; prosecuting them is not. It requires interagency task forces, wiretaps, 24/7 surveillance, and gobs of government money. The bad guys have the best attorneys money can buy. Worse, they’re often connected with politicians and judges who can protect them. When it comes to organized crime, the big heat often turns into the big stink.

Here’s an example. In Miami, during the last 15 years, the FBI arrested and obtained convictions of

the Miami city manager

the Miami finance director

the Miami chief of police

numerous judges

various city and county commissioners

numerous police officers

These goons were stealing with both hands, running interference for the cartels,
escorting
drug trucks from the Miami River to warehouses in the city, and selling favorable judgments from the bench. Notice, however, that almost all the investigations and arrests were made by the FBI, not local police. The state’s attorney (prosecutor), an elected official, seemed not to notice, amid a busy schedule of luncheons, speeches, and fund-raisers, that the city was being run by a bunch of hoods.

The other group of big crooks, middle-class criminals, are notoriously
not
on police radars. They run little risk and garner great rewards. FBI statistics show that white-collar crime is booming. Yes, you can steal more with a briefcase than a gun, and insurance fraud, mortgage fraud, identity theft, securities fraud, and confidence rackets such as pigeon drops and bad checks probably gross as much as the trade in illegal drugs. Of course, no one knows for sure, because most of these guys get away with it. I’ll discuss this further in the chapter on how to arrest more white people.

The middle group of crooks are career criminals. You can define these guys easily. They make their living in crime. It’s what they do, but not forever. Police glom on to these guys sooner or later. Most are arrested, tried, and convicted multiple times and serve long stretches in jail. At some point, usually in their 30s, they give it up and decide that flipping burgers or pushing the broom is better than trying to make a career in crime, or else they go to prison and become permanent wards of the state.

Now gaze at the bottom of the pyramid. Notice that it’s huge. It’s the base that holds up the entire criminal justice system. It’s composed of clueless petty offenders. These poor slobs can be distinguished from other criminals by two crucial characteristics.

1. They don’t make their living in criminal enterprise. Rarely do they make any money at all from what they do. They’re rule breakers, not money takers. Their lives are a series of infractions, violations, and failures to comply with ordinances, statutes, and rules. They pay dearly for it. The bail bonds, attorney fees, court costs, and probation costs that the system extracts keep them and their families perpetually impoverished.

2. They are rarely violent. Mostly, they’re just clueless.

WHY ARE ALL THESE GUYS IN JAIL?

Nobody ever thinks about this. You get caught with a joint, and you go to the joint. Right? Let’s consider this for a minute. Why should petty offenders get arrested and jailed
at all
? Let’s examine the typical reasons.

FLIGHT RISK.
Most people think that petty offenders are jailed so they will show up for trial. This is rarely the case. Most misdemeanor offenders are tossed into the can briefly and then released either on their own recognizance
¹
or on a low bail to free up the cells for the next batch of clueless who are rolling downtown 24/7 in a police cruiser near you. Most of these guys have to show up for their hearings of their own volition, so it’s fair to ask why they get arrested in the first place.

In almost all states, police, in lieu of arrest, can issue a notice to appear, also known as a penal citation. This also requires the offenders to show up in front of a judge and get what’s coming to them (fines, anger management therapy, drug rehab, restitution, etc.)
without
getting busted and receiving a permanent arrest record and a lifetime sentence on the electronic plantation. To get a clueless weed smoker in front of a judge, do we really need to use jailers, bail bondsmen, prosecutors, and public defenders? In many cases, a citation will do just as well.

Even when the bail is lowered, say to $3,000, the bond, which will be 10 percent of the bail, or $300, can be disastrous to clueless offenders living on the edge. For someone working for $10 an hour, $300 is one week’s take-home pay. When this goes to the bondsman, the electricity and water get turned off, the rent goes unpaid, and child support payments get missed. Of course, before the offender can even get the bond lowered, he has to have a private attorney, and in my state this costs two grand
and up
.