Authors: Winter Renshaw
JENSEN
“Waverly, would you mind passing me some of
those
gender
rolls, please?” There’s
a smirk on my face as I reach across the table at dinner Monday night. I’ve
just been given an all-access, VIP backstage pass to the greatest fucking
circus on earth. All these wives and kids and systems and checklists, and
nobody wears a goddamned smile or shows a hint of rebellion. They go about
their daily routines like micromanaged employees.
Waverly places a white bowl of
warm, buttered rolls into my hand and pinches her face. I take a one and bite
into it, chewing slowly like a kid in a crescent roll commercial.
“Mm, mm. These
gender
rolls are delicious.”
She kicks me under the table,
hard, but I don’t flinch. I’m not sure how I ended up sitting across from her
at the table again, but here I am. Mark is at the head of the table yammering
on about some boring pharmaceutical legislation. Waverly flashes me a look as
if to warn me not to mock him, but I won’t be ordered around by some
angel-faced goody-two-shoes who lives and breathes to make Daddy happy.
“
Gender
rolls are the best kind of rolls,” I continue. “You should
make these for me again sometime, you know, since I’m not allowed in the
kitchen.”
“Stop,” she whispers, throwing
me a sharp look. Her eyes are the lightest shade of baby blue, clear almost.
They’re hardly threatening. Everything about her is prim and proper and
mind-numbingly perfect. We are night and day, she and I, and I get the feeling
we’re going to butt heads a lot.
But it could be fun.
“So, Jensen,” Mark calls from
the head of the table. Summer and Kath rise from the table and start cleaning
up as the little kids scatter. “Why don’t you head down here so we can have a
little chat?”
I peel myself up from the
chair, making a point to slide my dishes into Waverly’s place setting, and take
the seat beside Mark. I sit up straight and look him in the eye, the way I used
to when my father would give me one of his lectures. As long as I appeared to
be listening I’d get off without being called a “worthless piece of shit.”
“You any good with fixing
things?” Mark asks.
“What kinds of things, sir?” I
throw a ‘sir’ in there for good measure. It always worked on my father.
“Cars, trucks, motorcycles,”
Mark says. “Grease monkey type things.”
I repaired an old Toyota Celica
back home. My father wouldn’t buy me a car when I turned sixteen, so I found
one in the paper for $500 that didn’t run. A few minor parts and it got me
where I needed to go.
“I am.”
“One of my friends is looking
for a gofer for his shop. You probably want some walking-around money,” Mark
says. He’s pretending to be cool, pretending to bring himself to my level as he
tries to figure me out. I’m one step ahead of him though, and his attempt is
laughable at best.
“Gofer?”
“Yeah, you’d go-for stuff.
Parts. Errands. Maybe work yourself up to minor repairs.” Mark clears his
throat and squares his shoulders with mine. It’s a manipulative technique he’s
using—mirroring his body language with mine in an attempt to make me more
comfortable around him. My father used it on people at church all the time and
they’d walk away thinking Josiah Mackey was their best friend in the whole wide
world. I swear to God, if Mark Miller is as cunning and manipulative as my
father, I’ll…
“You done with this, Dad?” It’s
Waverly. She reaches for Mark’s plate, happy to serve him, like he’s the
fucking King of England.
“Sure am, sweetie,” he says
with a warm,
Leave It to Beaver
smile
that makes me my stomach churn. This can’t be real life.
“She sure is a great help in
the kitchen,” I say, catching myself before make some snide remark about the
convenience of breeding built-in help. I get it. Teaching kids to have chores
and responsibilities is part of parenting. Using them to wait on you hand and
foot because they weren’t born with the almighty cock and balls is disgusting.
That’s some Josiah Mackey-level thinking right there.
“She’s going to make a fine
wife someday,” Mark says in a way that creeps me the fuck out. Is that what he
was raising his daughter to be—a good wife for some polygamous asshole?
“Anyway, as I was saying. The job at the shop. You interested?”
Whatever gets me out of this
warped little universe for a while is cool with me. “Yeah, I’ll take it.”
Mark proceeds to gloss over the
house rules. I hear him use words like “curfew” and “quiet time” and
“expectations.” I get it. He’s a control freak and he wants me to know he’s the
man of the house. I listen just enough to get the gist, but every time Mark
looks away, I find myself glancing in the kitchen toward Waverly. She’s
towel-drying dishes and smiling as she chats with her sister. Our eyes meet,
but she looks away instantly.
She probably doesn’t know what
the fuck to make of me, and that’s exactly the way I prefer it.
“Oh, and I discussed this with
Kath earlier today,” Mark says. “Since her house is the smallest of the three,
and I doubt you want to share a room with a six-year-old, we’re going to move
you into the main house. There’s an extra room next to Waverly’s. I think it’ll
be a better fit for you. Give you a little privacy.”
I’m grateful for the privacy,
but I know what’s going on here. He wants his little princess to keep an eye on
me when he’s not around. That little snitch would rat me out in a heartbeat,
too. Not that I plan on faltering from my straight line while I’m here, but
I’ve already lived life under Josiah Mackey’s microscope. I was hoping for a
break from the constant scrutiny, but I guess it was too much to expect the
universe to throw me a fucking bone once in a while.
“Thank you, sir,” I say through
gritted teeth and a phony smile. “I certainly appreciate it.”
“Waverly, show your brother to
his room,” Mark commands, his voice acting like the snap of two fingers. She
dries her hands on a dishrag and motions for me to follow her to the stairs. I
wonder if she’s always this docile or if her obedience is only for him.
We climb the creaky stairs to
the second level and turn down a long hallway. There are tons of doors. This
house is huge. Must be why they keep calling it the “main” house.
She doesn’t speak until she
stops short at the last door on the right. With her hand on the knob, she says,
“Room’s a little stale. It’s a guest room, but we never use it.”
A cloud of musty air greets us
as we walk in and she reaches over to flip on the light and ceiling fan. A
double bed sits against the wall along with an oak nightstand and dresser with
brass handles circa 1982.
I plop down on the bed and run
my hands along the country blue quilt, which I definitely won’t be using.
“This’ll do.”
“I’m right next door, if you
need anything.” She points to the wall to her right.
“What would I need from you?”
I’m fucking with her. I’m bored, and she seems easily excitable. “A bedtime
story? A glass of warm milk?”
Her jaw slackens and she takes
a step back. I wait for her to come at me with something, to put me in my
place, but she doesn’t.
“Dad says you’re going to
school with me tomorrow,” she says instead. “We leave at seven thirty. Don’t be
late. Bathroom schedule is outside the door.”
Of course there would be a
bathroom schedule. All these bedrooms and people and you’d think someone
would’ve added a few extra bathrooms.
“You’re sharing the green
bathroom with Bellamy and me,” she says. “Two doors down. I shower at six. She
showers at six fifteen. You shower at six forty-five.”
“Six forty-five. Got it.”
“Bellamy put a hamper in the
bathroom for you,” she says. “You get your own.”
“Our clothes can’t touch?” I
laugh. She doesn’t. “Okay.”
“Dad’s rules. You can take it
up with him.” She sighs, like she doesn’t have time for my shenanigans a moment
longer. I’m guessing she’s itching to get back to Bible study, or whatever she
does at night.
Waverly nibbles on her bottom
lip. Her innocence is sexy in the most inappropriate of ways. I’d find her
utterly fuckable, if she didn’t have such a big stick shoved up her ass. She
reminds me of the girls at church who’d stare at me like I was the world’s most
eligible bachelor because I was the preacher’s son. In that world, my father
was a king and I his princely heir. They looked at me like I was changeable,
someone they could mold and shape into their perfect future husband. The joke
was always on them. Many have tried, many have failed. No one has ever been
able to change Jensen Mackey.
She drinks me in, a soft sigh
leaving her lips.
“Why are you looking at me like
that?” I’ve never been one to beat around the bush, and I sure as hell won’t
start now.
“Like what?” Her nose wrinkles
like a bunny. Like a sexy, church-going bunny.
I smirk. “You can leave now,
Waverly. Report to your daddy that all is good here.”
“What are you talking about?”
I lean back on the bed, folding
my hands behind my head and staring up at the ceiling fan and the dust speckles
that swirl in the dim light. “See you in the morning.”
“Breakfast is at seven,” she
reminds me as she slinks out the door. “Please try to be on time.”
I cross my feet at the ankles.
“Don’t usually eat breakfast. This morning was an exception.”
“It’s not an option here. We
eat as a family.”
“Then save me a seat across
from you.” Two can play this game. If she wants to keep tabs on me, then I’ll
smother her so hard she won’t know what to do. It’s not like I have anything
better going on.
She closes the door and I’m
left alone in a boring room with bare, white walls and a single window with a
view of the backyard. I pop up to inspect my surroundings. A white privacy
fence connects the main house with another house. My mother’s colonial is two
doors down. From the street, they look like three neighboring homes. From the
backyard, they’re all connected. I’d say the fence is at least eight feet high.
There’s a covered, in-ground pool behind Summer’s house as well as a whole host
of children’s toys. The backyard reminds me of a daycare center, only with
better landscaping.
A light rap on my door pulls my
attention that way. I don’t get a chance to tell my visitor to come in before
the door swings open. It’s Kath.
“Oh, good,” she says. “Found
you. Just wanted to tell you goodnight before I head home.” She glances around,
tilting her head. “We can spruce up the room, if you’d like. I know you’re only
here a few months, but there’s no reason you can’t personalize your space a
little. Just, you know, keep things appropriate.”
“No naked women. Got it.”
Her cheeks blush. “What kinds
of things do you like?”
It’s odd to be standing across
from my flesh-and-blood mother and realize we’re complete strangers.
“Do you like music?” she asks.
Do
I like oxygen?
“I doubt Mark would allow my kind of music in
his home.”
“What do you like, Jense?”
Oh, now we’re on a nickname
basis? I vaguely remember her calling me “Jense” as a kid, though I could never
tell if those memories were real.
“I like to sketch. Give me some
pencils and some sketchpads. I’ll do the rest.”
Her face lights up at the
revelation that my hobby is something she can be proud of. Kath’s hand covers
her heart. “You used to draw me pictures. I knew even as a small boy that you
had talent.”
“Pretty sure you’re supposed to
say that.”
She walks toward me and cups my
cheek. “Swelling’s going down. You okay with going to school tomorrow? If
you’re not ready, I can talk to Mark about waiting a bit longer.”
“I’m ready.”
Anything’s better than sitting
in this boring-ass compound all day. No cable. No internet. No music. No
transportation. I literally loafed on Kath’s sofa and stared at a wall for four
hours today between naps. It’s not healthy for a man to be alone with his
thoughts for too long. I may have rubbed one out too, thinking about this girl
I used to fuck in Charter Springs. She was a raging bitch with perfect
cantaloupe tits, and I was horny and bored.
“You can hardly see the
bruising,” she says, squinting. “We can cover it up with a little makeup, if
you’d like.”
“No. No makeup.” Juliette tried
to do that shit to me once after my father beat me for coming home three
minutes past curfew on a Friday night. He claimed he smelled alcohol on my
breath. He was right. I’d just rinsed my mouth out with Scope before coming in
to hide the menthol cigarette I’d smoked to calm my nerves.
“What do you think of Mark so
far?” Kath asks. I straddle the line between giving her the truth and telling
her what she wants to hear, but I’m not quite sure she’s the kind of person who
ever wants to hear the truth.