Arrows (13 page)

“Okay,” he said.

My hand pressed against the side of his stomach. “Are you sure that’s what you want? Sometimes I can’t tell, and it scares me.” I lifted my face. “Do you want us to go with you?”

He was standing very still, and his breathing had deepened. “Sure,” he said.

He didn’t mean to hurt me. But as he wrenched away, a quick push to untangle my grip from his waist, my forehead caught the side of his truck mirror. I gasped. I bit my lip to keep from crying.

You’ll see him every weekend.

A trickle of blood ran down my temple.

To be honest, I’m not sure he saw what happened. I’m not sure he knew I was hurt. I pivoted and began to walk toward the studio, taking small, quiet breaths to keep from sobbing. I wanted to remember the moment for the good parts, not the bad.

“Get back here!” Danny said, apparently changing his mind about leaving. “Don’t walk away from me.” He grabbed my arm, and when I turned, he was forming a fist.

The studio door flew open. It happened so fast, Aaryn sinking his hand around Danny’s neck and shoving him against the truck, a scuffle of feet as they charged for each other.

“Don’t you dare push her like that. What’s your problem?”

I held my breath as a sob escaped my lips. Aaryn had been watching us, and Juliette probably saw it all, too. It couldn’t have looked good, the way Danny twisted away from me, the way I lost my balance.

“You want a piece of me?” Danny spat. His voice weakened as Aaryn’s grip tightened.

“You hurt her.”

“Aaryn, stop that! He didn’t know.” I wiped the blood away, but it wouldn’t stop. I held my face. “He didn’t push me on purpose.”

Aaryn was breathing hard and staring Danny down. I’d never seen his arms ripple like that. When Danny lunged at him, I knew my words had come too late.

“Stop it! Both of you, stop it!”

Fists landed, thudding into the dark. I couldn’t stand it. They rolled. Aaryn was fast, calculating, almost as if he’d been trained to fight. A few seconds later he held Danny down. “I don’t want to hit you again, but I will,” he said.

“Fuck you,” Danny managed.

I pushed Aaryn with all my might. “Please.” He didn’t move. “I said it was an accident.”

Juliette ran out. “What’s going on here? Danny, Aaryn, get up, both of you. Cool it. God, Karma, what happened to you?”

“I hit my head by mistake.”

Aaryn watched me. For a moment there was only us, him searching for me to tell her the truth, me wanting to cry. He shoved Danny just as I felt I might throw up.

“If you ever hurt her again…” Aaryn leapt up and stalked toward the back of the studio, ripping weeds with his hands as he passed. Danny jumped to his feet with clenched fists, shoving me out of the way, but I immediately blocked his path. “Don’t,” I said.

“Don’t follow him,” Juliette said. “Enough.”

His lip was swelling up. “It’s not worth it,” I said.

Panting, he took another step forward and yelled, “Coward!”

“Sort out your problems somewhere else,” Juliette said. “This is a sanctuary for us, not a fighting ring.”

I pressed my hand against his chest. “Please, if you love me, you have to leave now. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.” I swiped again at the blood trickling down my forehead.

Danny left without saying goodbye.

I listened to the sound of his truck fade into the night until there was only me and my aunt and the country, a mosquito humming around my head, the wild of night all around. My throat felt like it had collapsed, it ached, but I stood in silence until I couldn’t hear Danny’s truck.

“What did he do?” My aunt’s voice was scaring me. I shook my head and broke into a run toward the back. Aaryn stood in the darkness near the pond, facing the studio, arms crossed. When he saw me, he tugged me into the light.

“You’re still bleeding.”

His T-shirt came over his head. One hand held my shoulder. The other pressed the cloth against my wound. “You should report him, Karma.”

I couldn’t enjoy the sight of his naked chest, though part of me wanted to. The sculpted muscles, perfectly shadowed, perfectly smooth. His flat, touchable stomach. Boyfriend or not, I wasn’t dead. I shrugged his hand from my arm. “How many times do I have to say it was an accident?”

“I saw what happened. We both know what he did.”

“Was Juliette watching?”

“No.”

The sick feeling came back, sour and intense. I couldn’t think straight. “He came to tell me we’re going south. All of us. In the fall.” The lie came out so easily.

Aaryn stared. “Awesome.”

I wasn’t going to break down in front of him. “Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for love.”

Aaryn smoothed the clean side of my forehead, and at the feel of his fingertips, my eyes closed gently. “Maybe your feelings for Danny aren’t what you think. Love shouldn’t hurt.”

The rhythm of the crickets, the urge to go to him, to lean into that chest. I opened my eyes. “What makes you the expert on love?”

Aaryn shrugged. “I know your boyfriend shouldn’t push you.”

“I told you, he didn’t!”

“I know what I saw.”

I swallowed and lifted my chin. I wouldn’t give him the benefit of arguing. “I’m going to get my things,” I said. “I can’t rehearse anymore.” I wiped my eyes and walked away with my hand clutching his shirt. Things would be different in the South. Less stressful. More focused on us. Yes, the move would be a fresh start, one we desperately needed.

I wouldn’t feel so empty there.

“What the hell happened to your face?” Leah asked.

“Nothing,” I snapped. I hurled my things at the corner and tiptoed into the kitchen, every muscle in my body sore from dance. Home. Finally. That silent car ride with Aaryn had been as stressful as waiting for competition results.

The freezer opened with a gentle
whoosh.
Bags of vegetables, leftover casserole, pizza, ice cream. Normal things. Comforting, homelike things. I lifted an ice pack, wrapped it in a flowered towel and eased it against my forehead. Ouch.

“Nothing, my ass.” My sister blocked my path and pulled away my hand for a better look. “Did Danny do this?”

I rolled my eyes and tried to push past her. “Don’t be dumb. I fell at rehearsal.”

“You’re lying.” She clamped both hands on her hips. “You always look out the window when you lie.”

I faced her as my spine stiffened. “Danny didn’t push me. Is that better?”

“I never said anything about him pushing you!”

I was already halfway down the hall and barely heard her words. She chased me.

“Don’t shut me out.” Her hand slammed against the bedroom door. I gaped at her, my head freezing, heart pounding. The scared look on her face, almost terror…I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t tell her the truth. I didn’t even know what the truth was anymore. She crowded me inside and closed the door with a click. My little sister, so grown up. Dark eye makeup. Hair straightened into thick, even lines.

“You don’t have to lie,” she said.

Nell stirred in her crib, and even though she didn’t fuss I went to her. Reached for her. Feeling her against me, warm and perfect, the emptiness didn’t matter as much. I buried my face against her neck, soaking her in. Leah sat on my bed.

“It was an accident,” I whispered. I steadied my breath and eased Nell onto the comforter next to my sister. I loved watching her sleep. Leah leaned in, too. We sat like that for a while, Nell between us.

“You know how I feel about him,” Leah said at last. I stroked Nell’s hand and sighed deeply. I did know. She’d made that perfectly clear for more than a year. “Why do you put up with it? You deserve so much better.”

I rolled my eyes and crawled toward the pillow, lifting the ice pack. “I’m tired,” I murmured.

Leah flounced toward the headboard and grabbed the other pillow, bed creaking.

“Don’t wake her up!”

My sister winced as Nell squirmed. The last thing I wanted to deal with was an overtired, screaming baby. Thankfully, she didn’t open her eyes. I shot Leah a look.
Think a little.

But inside I was glad she was there. No words needed, and nothing complicated. Just us sisters.

“Do you think I’ll ever get married?” Leah whispered.

I snorted softly. My sister was a weirdo. “Probably, many, many years from now.” I turned, my hair catching on the cotton pillowcase. “Where’d that idea come from?”

My sister slid her hands under her cheek and stared at me across the bed. “I was just thinking about it today….Will you be my maid of honor?”

“You’re engaged?” Nell twisted and I grimaced. Quieter, I said, “You can’t get married until you’re eighteen.”

“I
know
that.” She pinched the base of her nose. “I mean when I find the right guy. God, relax.” Her eyes met mine. “I was just thinking that I want you beside me in the church.”

I reached over to smooth a rebellious cowlick above her forehead. “Of course. I’d be honored.” I gave her a serious look. “But you better raise your standards a little. Benjamin doesn’t seem to have much going for him.”

“I’m going to marry Aaryn,” Leah said, rolling onto her back.

I shook my head, a smile pulling my mouth. “Quit it. He’s too old for you.”

“Age won’t mean anything once I turn eighteen. That’s the kind of guy I want to marry—someone hot and sweet.” She turned fast. “Do you think he’s rich?”

“How would I know?” I resituated the ice pack and exhaled shakily. “We don’t get time to talk about his personal life.”

Leah bolted upright. “Time to talk? What do you mean, time to talk?” She bounced a little closer. “You didn’t tell me you talked.”

“He’s partnering me,” I said, like she should have known. Her wide eyes amused me. “Danny was busy, so Aaryn volunteered to help in his place.”

Leah gaped. “Wow. That’s nice of him.” She shrunk back and squinted a little, pursing her mouth, lost in her own thoughts. The ice cracked as it began to thaw.

“It’s just one piece,” I said. “Once you’re eighteen he’s all yours.” Then I turned over, not liking the expression on her face. That smug look, like she thought she’d uncovered a secret about me.

“You can have him,” Leah whispered. She sounded so earnest. She nestled Nell between us and carefully stretched out. “I was just kidding about before.”

“Thanks but no thanks.” I stared at the wall as my heartbeat quickened; my gaze following the edge of the only print I owned of
The Ballerina Project,
my favorite photo series of dancers posed all over New York City and beyond—feet arched on Broadway, arms outstretched with Long Island City in the background.

Through the window I found the moon and let the thin crescent of light slip out of focus.

Day 18

Karma sped the entire way to rehearsal, her music playing unusually loud. “I just love this weather,” she said as we pulled into the parking lot. “This has got to be one of the nicest falls we’ve ever had in Lakefield.”

“Yeah,” I said.

She hurried into the studio while I followed with careful steps, the screen door nearly smacking the side of my nose.

“Whoops!” she said.

And in that moment when she turned, I got a good look at the cut, a dark line along her eyebrow with ragged edges. Danny was such a creep.

“So, back to the grind,” she said, meaning dance. “I’ll go change.”

“Okay.”

She gave a dramatic sigh when she scraped the changing stall curtain in place, though she definitely didn’t make eye contact. I sat on the bench. Studied my knuckles, which were sore from yesterday.

“You’re feeling good enough for rehearsal, right?” she asked. Her voice was muffled. My hands held the edge of the seat.

“I felt fine until I got a good look at what he did to your face.”

The silence that followed grew into an enormous sound, throbbing in my ears. Karma emerged with a frown so deep, I sort of felt like an asshole. “Sorry,” I mumbled, but I wasn’t that sorry. She couldn’t pretend last night hadn’t happened. I didn’t care how great the weather was—she couldn’t make up some story about what Danny had done to her, because I knew what I’d seen and—

To my right, the door slammed. “Well,” Juliette said. “You’re back. We need to get to work.” Her flip-flops made a slapping sound as she paraded past us with a stern expression. “Danny’s not going to ram over here tonight, right? I can’t have problems like that at my school.”