Artificial Absolutes (Jane Colt Book 1) (20 page)

Fedora jerked his thumb at Eaglewing. “He’s Dave Adlersflugel, and I’m Saul Sharda.”

You dumbass!
Eaglewing looked around hastily. Everyone seemed too wrapped up in their own business to have been listening. He decided to roll with it. “Y’know, Adlersflugel means ‘Eaglewing’ in one of the ancient languages.”

Fedora tipped his hat. “I just like fedoras.”

“Fedora…” Kitti drew out the word. “Doesn’t that sound a little effeminate?”

Eaglewing burst out laughing and slapped the bar. “She thinks you’re effeminate!”

Fedora shot him a pissed-off look. “At least I’m not a
dork
like you! Who remembers the stupid dead languages?”

Kitti smiled sweetly. “Don’t get me wrong. I think fedoras are great. More people should wear hats.”

Fedora looked as if he might melt.

The bartender bot returned with their beers. Eaglewing pulled his glass toward himself. “Hey, we told you ours. What’s yours?”

Fedora guzzled half his drink. “Lemme guess. Scarlet?”

Kitti giggled and shook her head.

Eaglewing threw Fedora a disgusted look. “That’s a stripper name, you moron. She’s a nice girl. So, is it… Alice?”

“Adrianna?” Fedora said.

“Amber?”

Kitti raised an eyebrow. “Are you gonna go through every name alphabetically?”

Fedora grinned. “Yeah, till we get it right!”

She smiled coyly. “Fine. It’s Jane.”

Fedora threw his hand up. “Oh come on! I told you our
real
names!”

“That
is
my real name. I’m just plain Jane. Sorry to disappoint you guys.”

Eaglewing inched closer to her. “Hey, I like it. Sounds classy.”

Jane pulled away. Eaglewing, not wanting to be a creeper, backed off.

A green-haired demon known as Gambler waved in his direction. “Fedora! Eaglewing! You heard? Word’s going around the float that Black Knight’s back in town.”

Eaglewing swiveled his barstool to face him. “C’mon, Gambler, how many Black Knight sightings have there been over the years? And how many turned out to be legit?”

Gambler approached the bar. “I overheard it from a Wrath Guard, and he seemed pretty sure.”

Eaglewing scoffed, “You’re also the one who believes the scammers who say they’ve captured an intelligent alien.”

Gambler jutted his chin. “Hey, you never know. Space is big.”

Fedora twisted around to face Gambler. “Dude, we’ve settled hundreds of worlds over hundreds of years. If there were intelligent aliens to be found,
someone
woulda run into them by now. Stop being so fucking gullible!”

Gambler scowled. “When Black Knight shows up and starts shooting up the place, don’t say you weren’t warned.” He made his way over to the tables and joined Wine.

Eaglewing spun his stool back to the bar. “That guy’ll believe anything.”

Jane watched Gambler and Wine curiously, as though eavesdropping on their conversation.

Eaglewing tried to regain her attention. “There’ve been tons of rumors about Black Knight, but I’m tellin’ ya, he’s
gone
. He slipped up last time he was here. Lost his signature helmet and let everyone see his face. Fedora and I were there when it happened, and, man, it was
epic
.
There was this huge
firefight, and then he blew up half the storage sector going after one little demon. Talk about overkill!”

Jane kept her gaze on Gambler and Wine. “Who was he?”

Eaglewing leaned back so she’d see him. “One of the most notorious mercs Travan’s ever known. I got here after his heyday, but pretty much everyone who lives here has something to say about him. I mean, this guy wasn’t just scary, he was
sick
.”

Fedora piped up, “Even the bosses were afraid of him. He was in and outta here for a decade before he disappeared six or seven years ago. Everyone’s been wondering what happened to him.”

Jane had a funny look in her eyes. “I see.”

Eaglewing took a swig of his beer. “So, what’s a nice girl like you doing in this shithole? Why’re you lookin’ for a demon?”

Jane lowered her eyelids and closed her mouth into a little pout.

Fedora leaned toward her with concern. “What’s wrong?”

She looked up with her big dark eyes. “Can I be straight with you guys? It’s just… weird… I don’t know how to tell you…”

“With words!”

Eaglewing smacked Fedora.

Fedora winced. “
Ow
!”

“You deserved that!” Eaglewing turned back to Jane, ignoring Fedora’s grumbles. “Hey, you can trust us. You’ve got our real names. That’s the ultimate trump card around here.”

Jane hesitated. “I’m looking for two… machines. Big, boxy robots capable of extending multiple appendages. No one’s seen them before, and I have no idea who owns or controls them. I know it sounds insane, but…” She sighed. “I
have
to find them.”

Eaglewing recalled something he’d seen on the Net a few days ago. He patted the bar in excitement. “I’ve hearda that! Corsair posted it all over the Collective’s forum! Before No Name deleted it, that is.”

Jane’s eyes brightened. “You know Corsair?”

“Yeah! He’s in the Gag Warriors with me ’n’ my buddy here.” Eaglewing stroked his chin. “The machines you’re talkin’ about, they’re these weird-ass blue things on wheels, right?”

“Exactly! Corsair said they were somewhere on Travan Float but couldn’t get more than that.” Jane’s face fell. “I don’t know if anyone can help me, though. If Corsair couldn’t find them, who can?”

Fedora perked up. “Uh,
we
can? Corsair’s good and all, but we’re
pros
! I’ve hacked this float so many times I’ve lost count! I’ll find your machines in fifteen minutes, tops!”

Jane looked at Fedora admiringly. “Could you?”

Eaglewing was bummed he hadn’t volunteered first. “I’ll bet it’ll take less than ten! And the number’s a hundred and seven.”

Jane turned that admiring look toward him. “Whoa, that’s impressive.”

Eaglewing grinned, lost for a moment in those eyes.

Fedora whipped his slate out of his pocket.

Eaglewing craned his neck. “What’re you doin’ over there?”

“Finding those machines, duh!” Fedora typed furiously.

Eaglewing got up and went over to him. “They still usin’ that password algorithm?”

“Yup, dumbasses. Okay, I’ve remoted into the Wrath Guards’ drive. What’d we call the wares we left there last week?”

“G-R-A-Five-S-Zero and F-Three-R-N-A-N-Zero-Zero.” Eaglewing looked over Fedora’s shoulder. “Whadaya know? They’re still there! Make that five minutes.”

Fedora opened a program. “Ugh, their coding’s a mess! It gets worse every time!”

Eaglewing glanced at Jane. “It’s ’cause we keep messin’ with it, and they never figure out how to put it back.” He pictured Madam Wrath’s people puzzling over the code and sneered. “I’ve left some real doozies in the comments. So why do you wanna find those machines?”

Jane put a finger to her lips. “It’s a secret.”

Fedora elbowed Eaglewing. “Dude! You gonna help or what?”

Eaglewing and Fedora did their thing while Jane watched. They’d hacked the float so many times before that, even though Madam Wrath’s security people kept changing stuff around, the basics were the same.

Eaglewing was right. It took a little more than five minutes to access the security footage.

Fedora pumped his fist. “That’s gotta be a record! Uh… So there are a lotta cams. Tell me if you see something.”

He pressed an icon, and the feeds from the float’s numerous cameras flashed across the screen one by one. A few minutes passed. Eaglewing didn’t look for the machines, though. He stared at Jane’s pretty little face.

Jane’s eyes widened. “
Stop
!”

Fedora, who had also been staring, jabbed his finger onto the touchscreen. The footage displayed the two weird-ass boxy things Eaglewing had seen on the Net, except the pictures were a lot clearer. The view fizzled out, replaced by a plain blue screen.

Fedora swiped his figure across the frozen slate. “
Fuck
!
Those
bastards
! Anyone got something sharp?”

Jane pulled a pin from her hair. “What happened?”

Fedora accepted the pin. “No Name got me.”

“Are you sure it was them?”

Fedora stuck one of the hairpin’s prongs in a tiny hole on the slate’s edge, forcing the device to reboot. “Yeah. Madam Wrath’s guys woulda left a scary message, and they’re the only ones who police the systems here. Plus, they wouldn’t’ve caught us so fast.”

Jane bit her lip. “Did you see where those machines were?”

Eaglewing returned to his barstool. “The cam was in one of the big warehouses on the float’s lowest level, in the storage sector.”

Jane pulled her own slate out of her pocket. Eaglewing wondered how it fit in those tight purple shorts of hers.

He heard a cry and looked back. A bunch of people tried to get the attention of a man sprawled at one of the virtu-game consoles. The man stared up with empty eyes.

“Freaking addicts. I don’t get how anyone can get stuck in there. It’s just a game.” Eaglewing turned to Jane. “So, how’d you know about No Name? You don’t seem like the type to hang around Netcrew forums.”

Jane tapped her slate. “I read. I heard they’re like independent cyberpolice, except they’ve also been doing strange things like faking documents and hiding information. Any idea what’s going on there?”

Eaglewing peered at her slate. She was messaging someone. “The Collective thinks they’re into some kinda AI shit. Fedora and I tried trackin’ ’em, but they keep dodgin’ our wares. It’s like they never stay on the same drive for more than a minute.”

Fedora gave up on his slate and threw it on the ground. “Fuckers. They’ve been kinda quiet lately. Until they fried me. Still, were we fast or what?”

“Yeah, thanks, guys, you were great.” Jane smiled, but she looked worried. “Well, it’s been fun, but I’ve gotta find those things before they disappear again.” She got up and walked across the dance floor toward the exit.

Eaglewing jumped off his barstool and followed. “Hey, wait a sec. They’re not goin’ anywhere! Someone left ’em in storage! You’ve got some time.”

Fedora rushed to catch up. “You know, in one of the ancient languages, ‘Jane’ means ‘God is gracious.’ I think God has been most gracious by bringing you here. Won’t you grace us more with your presence?”

Eaglewing smacked his own face, cringing at his buddy’s lameness. “What the
fuck
was that? You
tryin’
to scare her away?”

Jane stopped. “Listen, guys, I’m grateful for your help, I really am. But I have to go now.”

Eaglewing realized what her game had been. “You played us!”

“I’m really sorry… I just… I had to find them.”

Eaglewing wanted to be mad at her, but she looked so guilty with that pout of hers, and her big eyes were so full of worry, more like fear. He was mad at himself for being mad at her. “Hey, no worries, I get it. You’re in some kinda trouble, aren’t you? Don’t be scared. We’ve all gotten in over our heads at some point. Tell me what’s goin’ on.”

Fedora nodded. “Yeah, we can help.”

“I don’t think you can, but I appreciate the offer.” Jane checked something on her slate, then folded it and stuck it in her pocket. “Maybe I can stay a bit longer, since it’ll take him a while to get here…”

One of the galaxy’s hottest club songs boomed through the speakers. Colorful lights swept across the dance floor, some of them spotlighting the Furis on the stripper poles.

An eager smile spread across Jane’s face. “I freaking love this song!”

She rocked out as though possessed by the music. Eaglewing cheered her on, pumping his fists to the beat. Fedora bobbed his head in an attempt to dance. Jane seemed to shake away whatever had made her so anxious, escaping into the haze of swirling lights and pounding music.

A purple spotlight landed on her. She laughed.
She grabbed a pole, hooked her knee against it, and spun to the ground. “Wheeeee!”

“
Jane
?” A tall man in a black T-shirt approached with a look of horror. Eaglewing thought he looked familiar but couldn’t figure out why.

Jane got up. “Devin! That was fast. How’d you get in here?”

Devin pulled her away from the pole. “What the hell are you doing? Where the hell are your clothes?” He opened the bag he carried on his shoulder, pulled out a black jacket, and tried to wrap it around her.

Jane pushed him away. “Oh you’re one to talk. You’re the one who tore your shirt off like a freaking meathead!”

Devin gave her a stern look. “Put the jacket on. You look like a child prostitute!”

She placed her hands on her hips. “I can dress as I please, and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

Eaglewing boldly stepped up to Devin. “Who the fuck are you?”
Probably a jealous ex
.

Devin looked down at him. “Who are
you
?”

He suddenly seemed very tall. Eaglewing backed away nervously.

Jane rubbed her forearm. “It’s okay, Devin. This is Dave. He and Saul here were helping me out.”

Fedora huffed. “Uh, that’s
Eaglewing
and
Fedora
to you.”

Jane gave him an apologetic smile. “Right, sorry.”

Fedora slumped his shoulders. “He your boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Jane said in a breathy voice. She clung to Devin’s arm and made a kissy face.

Devin pried her off, and she giggled. “Knock it off, Pony. I’m her brother.”

Eaglewing regarded Jane, then Devin.
I see the resemblance.
Same straight nose, same wavy hair, except Jane had much more of it.

Devin wrapped his jacket around Jane again, and she accepted it with a sigh. “What’re you doing in this hellhole? I told you to stay in the ship!”

Jane pulled the jacket on. “Good thing I didn’t, because Eaglewing and Fedora here found the machines we’re looking for.”

“That’s right!” Eaglewing said. “They’re in a warehouse in the storage sector. The big kind, like the ones used by the arms dealers.”

Devin looked impressed with Jane, and she gloated.

Fedora rounded his mouth into a surprised O. “Whoa! I know you! You’re Bl—”

“You have me confused with someone else,” Devin interrupted.

Black Knight? No way! No wonder he looks so familiar.

Gambler was right for once. The rumors of Black Knight’s return
were
true. Maybe hitting on his sister wasn’t such a good idea.

And shit, he hasn’t told
her
who he is. Smart.

Devin pressed the edges of his bag together to close it. “How’d you two find the machines?”

Fedora looked awed. “Hacked into the security cams, but my slate got fried before I could get a closer look. I’m pretty sure it was No Name.”

Devin grabbed Jane’s arm. “We have to go.
Now
.” He walked quickly toward the exit, pulling her along.

“Thanks, guys!” Jane called over her shoulder.

Fedora started to follow. “Hey, wait up!”

Eaglewing grabbed his arm. “Let ’em go.”

Fedora stopped and stared after Jane. “We coulda helped or something!”

“Maybe, but we oughta stay outta it. You don’t mess with the mercs.”

Fedora frowned. After a moment, he muttered, “Yeah, you’re right.”

Eaglewing returned to his spot at the bar.
Guess that’s the last time I’ll see her. Damn. She was really cute.