As I Fade (One Breath at a Time: Book 1) (21 page)

“
Thanks, I think,” Nuilley said, softly. “I would love to hear more about it but sometime when—”

Mr. Piccart interrupted, “Sit back down, there’s so much to tell you,” and continued on talking about the TV series.

Nuilley reluctantly punctuated back into the sofa; she knew she would have to give him a minute or two before racing upstairs to Brielle’s, uninvited.

-17-

Truth or Dare

I gasped for air, like when you come up for a breath after diving deep and breaking through the surface of the water then opened my eyes. Panic-stricken.

“Where am I?” I said, catching my breath, anxiously, feeling like I’d drown. My eyes darted around the room, and it all flooded back to me—
that’s right
, I was in the hospital.

My breath eased and returned to normal as I released the memories of
Him
; the image of the man I will never forget. The man, who, just a short time ago, I had thought was an intruder, had actually returned to rescue me. I was now certain of that. I couldn’t wait for him to come back to me like a thief in the night. My thoughts scattered. Then, I recalled overhearing the horrific conversation between Jane and Maryann. Shuddering I remembered she tried to kill me.

Jane’s plan for my demise had failed. Now what? I struggled with whether or not to tell Doctor Tagorski what she had done. If I told Doctor Tagorski her plan to frame Katharine for my death, would he believe me? Would anyone? Would the doctor believe I was making the entire incident up, as he thought I had about the man who appeared in my doorway? Doctor Tagorski would never believe anything from my lips if I’d told him I
now
thought the man was the love of my life. Not after all I had said earlier about him.

After giving it thought, I decided it was best to keep Jane’s attempt on my life to myself, at least for the moment. It would only cause more doubts regarding my state of mind. Telling him would only solidify his diagnosis of me, convincing him electric shock treatment was the cure; especially since our miscommunication that Jack wanted to kill me. Now Jane! He wouldn’t buy the truth about Jane now. Any creditability I had when I arrived was nonexistent.

I felt I was damned whether I told him or if I didn’t. Neither choice played in my favor.

The odds were against me. For now, I needed to stay alert and calm until I found a way to escape, sooner, rather than later. Shuddering at the thought, had Dr. Tagorski not shaken me so furiously robbing me of my lovely vision, I believed Jane’s plan would have been successful.

“Miss Eden...are you okay?” Dr. Tagorski asked.

“
Yes, tired I guess.” I faked a yawn.

“
The staff informed me you slept all day yesterday and that you were not responding. Your vitals were all over the place. Nurse Katharine sat with you all night. This morning when I arrived she was very concerned you were slipping away. How are you feeling now?”

Yesterday? Wow, I lost an entire day.

Why wasn’t he suspicious that I had slept for so long and that my vitals had gone haywire? Shouldn’t there have been a reason?

Jane tried to kill me.
I wanted to blurt that out
.
But then again, if Katharine had been with me all night perhaps Jane hadn’t—could it have only been a nightmare? I began to question my sense of reality, but still I knew better than to do so if I wanted to survive this living nightmare. And the wrath of Jane. She was evil, and I couldn’t allow myself to doubt that for a minute.

“
I feel rested that’s for sure. What do you think caused me to have this set back?” I asked, hinting to him that something had been terribly wrong.

“
I believe it was a bad reaction to the anesthesia. No more powerful drugs for you young lady! We don’t want to lose you. Do you think we can continue where we left off yesterday? But without an outburst this time?”

“
Yes, I think so...” I managed to say, my voice cracked, peering hopefully at the bedraggled note still lying on the bedside table. What did the note mean? I still knew I hadn’t written it, but I was certain there was some kind of a message tied to it.

“
Let’s get back to our session, just start where we left off the other day. If you’re feeling up to it.”

I instantly decided I couldn’t keep to myself what Jane had intended to do. Surely he’d believe me since I’d almost died. “Doctor Tagorski...I have something to tell you.”

“Yes, Miss Eden.”

Before I could speak the door flew open.

“Good-morning everyone,” Jane said, storming into the room with a sweet innocent smile plastered on her mug.

“
Good-morning, Jane. Did you enjoy your day off yesterday?”

Her day off?
I questioned inwardly.

“
Did I ever...Harland and I spent the entire day at his mother’s home in the country. Look, he proposed,” she shrieked excitedly. Jane’s face beamed, as she flashed her diamond ring in our faces. “Then he surprised me with tickets to the opera next week to celebrate even more. Of course, the proposal topped the tickets by far,” she rambled on. “We had such a lovely evening; dinner, and of course, champagne out the wazoo.” She giggled, and put her palm to her forehead. “I’m still paying for all the bubbles. His mother celebrated with us too,” she paused and quickly added, “Oh yes, and so did Maryann. His mum was so thrilled that he finally popped the question. She adores me, you know?”

I sat there with my mouth hinged opened.
Who is this person? She’s insane!

Doctor Tagorski’s eyes looked awkwardly bemused, but his words were contrary to his expression. “Yes. How could she not? Congratulations. I told you he would do it when you least expected.”

Jane giggled, a surprisingly seductive, dainty titter, waving her ring into the path of my eyes. “Yes, you were right. You’re so insightful.” She smiled seductively at the doctor. “Oh, I’m so embarrassed. I almost forgot, with all the excitement, here’s the medicine you ordered.” She reached out to hand him a small bottle and a few syringes.

More meds? No way!

“Thanks Jane. Just lay them on the tray,” Doctor Tagorski replied.

Jane laid the supplies down. She stood with her hands on her hips, evaluating Doctor Tagorksi as he turned his back on her to open the window shade.

What was she waiting for?

Doctor Tagorksi turned back around, flashed at me then her. “I’m really happy for you Jane. Is there anything else you need?”

“Yes...of course, silly.” She then reached out her arms toward him. “Give me a hug. It might be the last time you can hug me...legitimately, anyway,” Jane said teasingly, but with a pointed edge. Her eyes darted towards me and without warning she wrapped her arms around Doctor Tagorski’s waist. He patted her back in a friendly way then stepped out of her reach.

“
You’re going to make a great wife.”

“
Thank you. That’s so sweet of you to say.” She tilted her chin downward, bashfully. I rolled my eyes. I wanted so badly to call her out. My hard-pressed stare burned into her back.

Jane then shifted her beady little eyes to me. I could tell she was nervous, and rightfully so. She obviously knew I was watching her pathetic display.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Jane asked me. Her piercing voice comparable to nails on a chalkboard. I narrowed my eyes, confronting her and accepting her challenge. She opened her mouth, smiling and said, “You look so beautiful today. Refreshed.” She shockingly complimented me.

What is happening here?
Why was she behaving so kind to me? The fruit-loop loony I pegged her for—she wasn’t fooling me.

“
I—I, yes, but I don’t mean to pry”—
Fuck that, I sure the hell did
—“but I thought—weren’t you working last night?” I recklessly asked.

“
No. Why? I’ve been off duty since...” Her eyes rolled upward. “Sweetie, the last time I saw you—well, let me just say, you weren’t in any condition to judge the time of day.”

“
No, you were here last night...or maybe it was the night before?” My voice trailed off questioning the time. I was confused about the date, but not the insane attempt she had made on my life. “Remember, you were talking in my room about—you know—girl talk?” I called her bluff and studied her closely.

Doctor Tagorski looked at her, and questioned, “Jane, what is she talking about?”

I wanted to tell him she tried to kill me, but she was the one in the position to make me look as if I were crazier than he’d already concluded. My facts were incomplete. I didn’t know how to sort this out.

Jane shook her head. “I have no idea. Our little patient seems confused.” She grimaced, looked at him, shaking her head. “Doctor, I don’t want to upset her,” she spoke as if I wasn’t there and implied if she said anything in front of me that I would surely flip out again. “I’ve been off duty since her
last
little incident.” Her tone was condescending. “Poor thing, she’s got me mixed up with someone else.” She smiled patronizingly, suggesting I was nuts but refused to look in my direction. Of course, she couldn’t.

I wanted to slap her thin, crooked lips off her face. Kill the beast! She was lying and couldn’t even address me. What a classic strategy.

I couldn’t let her get away with this. “Look at me, Jane. I know you were here; it was either yesterday or last night. I’m sure of this. You and Nurse Maryann, I heard you both in my room,” I retorted, bravely. Damn it, I just played my cards. Now she definitely knew I was on to her. I shouldn’t have mentioned Maryann.

“
I don’t know what she’s talking about, Doctor Tagorski. This is really upsetting me.”

“
Why, Jane? All the patients here upset us from time to time.” He calmly said, patting her upper arm.

“
Well...” She bit her lip and thought for a second. “I don’t like it when someone accuses me of being somewhere I wasn’t.”

I angrily interrupted. “No one is accusing you—you were in my room. It’s a fact and—”

Jane argued, “No, sweetie, I wasn’t.”

Doctor Tagorski addressed me, “Okay...she does work here, Miss Eden.” Unequivocally, he defended her.

“Yes, but—”

“
I wasn’t here,” Jane whined pathetically like a schoolgirl.

“
Ladies, what is this about?”

I opened my mouth to tell the entire incident but relented because every time I tried to speak, Jane had cut me off. I realized I had no place, no rights; therefore who would believe me. I was on my own. Jane would win. I didn’t have the strength to fight her or any hard evidence to damage her credibility with the doctor.

Fucking psychopath!
But I couldn’t prove she was. How could the doctor not see through her? I lost my confidence in his so-called keen insight.

Nurse Jane stepped into the doctor’s personal space, her body shifted sideways. She placed her hand on his the upper back and close-talked to him, huddling her shoulders over. Her back turned mostly away from me. I heard every word she said and knew she intended for me to, as well. She didn’t exactly whisper. Her pitch varied in and out of their little private conversation. She spoke loudly enough for me to hear pertinent words and glanced back at me often, making sure I had.

“I think she’s having a mental breakdown of some sort, I mean even if I’d been here, why is she making such an issue over it? I work here. There’s something really wrong with her. She’s aggressive and likes to cause trouble, it seems.” At that point Jane lowered her voice surely to psych me out. First she wanted me to hear her then she didn’t.

It was all a game to her, just a childish control tactic. This gave her a false sense of power. She was trying to intimidate me. I knew her type all too well. I had researched too many archives of old murder cases; it was inspiration for storylines I’d created for the mystery novels I’d written.

Jane had all the characteristics of a sociopath. Truth was, she scared the shit out of me, but the worst thing I could do was let her see my fear.

Chills crawled across the back of my nape. This wasn’t a novel with alternate endings. There was a pendulum, and it wasn’t swinging in my favor. This was my life and I knew the grave danger I was in. The problem was—I wasn’t one to back down. The New Yorker in me wanted to fight back...but this was Jane’s turf. She had the upper hand. It was best that I didn’t allow her get to me, despite my strong propensity to reveal her dark-side to Doctor Tagorski. This woman was a first-class nut. It was only a matter of time before she cracked, and then the world would know she belonged in a straitjacket. A very tight one.

The loudest roar of thunder shook me from my thoughts. I yelped from the sound.

Jane didn’t flinch. “Did that scare you, Miss Eden?”

Fuck, now she believed I scared easily. I shook my head, no, glaring at her as she approached the end of my bed.

“
Don’t worry we won’t let a little thunder hurt you.” Her delivery had a pointed edge. This woman chose her words carefully. I knew the double meaning she covertly articulated to me.