As Lost as I Get (22 page)

“Don’t you stop,” she hissed, despite the tears in her eyes. “Touch me. I just—I love you. That’s all.” She pulled him back for a kiss, pressing her hips insistently against his hand until he slipped his fingers between her parted lips. The heat and the damp of her pussy made his hunger surge, burning with the realization that she was his, and he was hers, and soon he’d be buried inside her, feeling all of that wet heat surrounding him. It took all of his willpower to move slow, and keep teasing her, dipping in one little fingertip at a time until she was thrusting against his hand, whimpering and trying to take more.

Touching her wasn’t enough. He needed to taste the salt-sweetness of her, to feel her ripen against his tongue like the world’s most perfect peach. That night in the hotel wasn’t enough, nothing would ever be enough. He had no more patience for a slow tease, but slid down the bed until he could kiss her warm brown thighs, nuzzling between them until she parted them further. Glancing up to check with her, he pulled his hand away and couldn’t resist licking his fingers. He savored both the taste of her and the sound of her gasp. Her eyes were wide and dark with her arousal, her mouth half open and tempting. He needed more than a kiss. He encouraged her to scoot up the bed a little and turn on her back. It was tricky with his bad knee, but he managed to settle between her thighs, mouthing over their curves until he nosed against her damp curls. She gave a soft cry and arched toward him when he parted her lips and ran his tongue between them.

“Yes,” she gasped. “Oh please, yes.”

It was all the encouragement he needed. He’d teased her long enough. Her clit was hard beneath his tongue and he licked at it until he found the places that made her moan the loudest. When her moans took on a pleading sound, he slid two of his fingers back inside of her, marveling at how much wetter and softer she was. Knowing she was ready made it so tempting to give in, to slide up and take her, but he wanted more, he wanted to give her more than that.

His brain was on fire with the scent and sound of her, using his hands and mouth to find the most sensitive places, curling his fingers just so as he stroked in and out of her, urging her on. He could tell she was close and it felt like his heart was beating out the rhythm of her name until she finally started to cry out and spasm around his fingers. She grabbed at his shoulders, holding on to him as she writhed beneath him.

Finally he pulled away, kissing his way back up her body until he was lying at her side. Zoe snuggled close to him, her eyes still heavy with bliss, but she reached down and wrapped her hand around his cock, biting her lower lip coquettishly. “How do you want to manage this, with your knee?” she asked. She was the one who got a condom from the nightstand, and rolled it onto him while waiting for his answer. Her touch was almost agony, and he couldn’t stop the groan he made.

“I don’t care. Just, please. Zoe. I need you.”

She turned toward him, hooking one foot over his hip and pulling him close. As he leaned in to kiss her, she guided his cock into her with a soft sigh against his mouth. Her eyes were open and soft, and he couldn’t look away as they started to rock together. It was hypnotic, the way she undulated against him, like dancing. “How’s that?”

“Perfect. You’re perfect.” That was all he could manage. They held each other, stealing kisses and rocking back and forth. It was lovemaking, slow and sweet and possibly the most intimate thing he had ever done. The pace helped him last longer than he thought possible, but when Zoe gave a soft growl and pushed him onto his back, he was ready for more. She straddled him and took him again like their first time, only now he could see her without walls, and wondered how he had missed it then, how closed-off and cautious she’d been.

“Your knee?” Her breath was starting to come faster, as was his.

“It’s fine. You’re not going to hurt me.” Words that he had a moment to second-guess as she started to ride him in earnest, her head dropped back and her mouth open. All he could do was hold on to her hips and watch her body, each enticing sway and bounce. He felt her tighten around him and heard her moans take on an edge. She blindly reached for his hands and they linked fingers as she came a second time, pulling him with her, the pleasure seeming to rocket out of the core of his being until he was crying out along with her, gasping her name over and over until she collapsed against him.

She laughed softly and nuzzled his cheek. “Still okay?”

“What knee?” He kissed her forehead. “It’s possible I’ve never felt better in my life.”

“I love you,” she murmured.

“I love you too.”

Chapter Twenty-three

Once Agent Wishnevsky gave the all-clear, Zoe went back to work at the clinic and tried to pretend everything was the same, but it wasn’t. People were still scared, and their patient numbers were way down. The CIA could say all they wanted that all of Arcangel’s followers had been identified and rounded up, but Zoe wasn’t sure. Was someone out there warning people away from the clinic, telling them to stay away from the American doctors or else? Christiane and the MI staff in Bogotá were in a tizzy, trying to come up with new plans and protocols to prevent anything like this happening again. While Christiane insisted she didn’t blame Zoe for what happened, Zoe felt some responsibility anyway.

She’d barely seen Lee at all. They exchanged emails and phone calls daily, but he’d been sent back to the office in Bogotá. He said it wasn’t a punishment, that with his cover in Inírida blown, he was of more use as an analyst than as a field agent. He chafed at it though, complaining about the physical therapy he was undergoing and the long wait to find out if he’d need surgery on his knee. Unspoken, but perhaps there anyway, was his fear that he’d be disqualified from fieldwork entirely.

There was something he wasn’t telling her, and it worried her. He’d promised her he wouldn’t lie—did that mean he would just keep things from her instead?

He was coming back to Inírida tomorrow, but this wasn’t going to work. It couldn’t. The distance between them wasn’t bad now, but neither of them was going to be in Colombia forever.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Maria coming into her office, carrying a massive basket full of vegetables. “Well, I think La Abuelita has forgiven you for using Little Maria to carry messages.”

“She sent all of that? What about the kids? She was having trouble feeding them all before.” Zoe came around the desk to help Maria set it down.

“Apparently she’s been getting help from a mysterious benefactor. She wouldn’t tell me who, but I think Corporal Montemayor has found a new abuelita to look after.”

“Timo?” Zoe couldn’t even recognize all of the items in the basket; after all this time, some of Colombia’s produce was still a mystery to her. “So he’s in the clear?”

Maria nodded. “I think maybe his superiors knew he was working with the Americans, but since he helped expose a major security flaw, they’re overlooking that.” She paused, looking closer at Zoe. “What’s wrong, querida?”

“Oh, I’m just . . . moping.” Zoe pulled a face.

“Your man is coming to town tomorrow and you’re moping?” Maria tsked.

“Oh it’s not him,” Zoe said. “Well, it is him, but— Maria, what am I going to do if he gets reassigned to the other side of the world? Or if I do?”

Maria chuckled and squeezed her shoulder. “You’ll do what every other couple does: you’ll talk about it, and you’ll
figure something out.”

“It can’t be that simple,” Zoe persisted.

“Who said it was simple? Nothing worthwhile is.”

The words followed her as she took a moto taxi to the airport the next day. She’d been up most of the night, trying to find a solution. Of the two of them, she had the more flexible career, really. She could be a doctor anywhere, couldn’t she? Could she walk away from MI and go into a hospital setting?

The flight from Bogotá was an hour late, and Zoe spent most of it mentally chewing her fingernails. What if Lee was happy with a long-distance relationship? There were so many things they hadn’t talked about, although she would have sworn she knew him deep down. And maybe as a person she did, but the details of his everyday life? Not really.

Some of her worry dissipated at the sight of him and when he swept her up into his arms, kissing her thoroughly and swinging her around. She laughed. “It’s only been two weeks.”

His limp was hardly noticeable as they walked outside, although she would have been happier to see him using a cane. “How’s the brace working out?” she asked.

He wrinkled his nose. “I hate it, but it works. Are we going to talk about my knee all weekend?”

“I’m sure we’ll find something else to talk about too,” she teased.

***

Later, lying in her narrow bed, she rested her head on his shoulder and looked at the ceiling. One benefit to being apart, at least, was spectacular reunion sex.

“Zoe, I need to talk to you about something.” Lee turned on his side and she did likewise so they could see each other.

“Can I go first?” She needed to say this before she lost her nerve. He nodded. “I don’t think I can do this if we’re apart all of the time,” she said. “I don’t know how itinerant your job is, but mine can be, and I . . . don’t want that for us.” She took a deep breath. “If you want us to be together, I can—I can leave Médecins International and just . . . find a hospital job wherever you’re posted. If—if you want that.”

He looked at her with wide eyes and she panicked, thinking she’d misread things entirely. Had he been about to end things with her? Then he started to laugh, and pulled her close in a hug.

“What?” she said, vaguely irritated. “I just offered to leave my job for you and you’re laughing at me.”

“No, I just— It would be a shame for you to leave MI, since they just offered me a job.” He smiled at her, blue eyes bright and warm.

“They what?”

“They did. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I met with Christiane Bernet a couple of times. With everything that’s happened, she’s pushing for the organization to develop a more active security procedure. She’s gotten the approval to use Colombia as a test case.”

“And she wants you to—”

“Be the head of security for MI in this region, essentially.” When she didn’t say anything, he said carefully, “I haven’t accepted yet. I told her I needed to talk to you. What do you think?”

“What about the CIA?” Zoe’s brain was moving almost too fast for her to keep up.

He sighed. “I was already on their shit list before I came to Colombia—it’s a long story. Suffice to say, even Janet can’t convince them I’m worth keeping around.”

“Because of what you did for me?” Zoe’s heart sank. How many rules had he broken for her?

“Not just you. I can’t put regulations ahead of people. That makes me a liability.”

“Would you be happy though?” Would she, if she gave up the career she loved?

His smile could have lit the room. “To me, my job has always been about keeping good people safe. I can’t think of anything better than helping keep doctors like you safer. Especially if it means keeping you, specifically, safer.”

She leaned over and kissed him, touching his cheek. “I won’t be in Colombia forever, though. When my time here is up, I could wind up anywhere.”

“Yeah, I know.” He brushed his nose against hers. “And anywhere you go, they’re going to need a security director of some sort. I think we can make it work. If you wanted to.”

“Yeah,” Zoe breathed. “Let’s do it.”

***

“I just wish you’d let me host the wedding here,” Maureen Wheeler said, for about the third time that Zoe could remember. “The gardens would be absolutely beautiful in the autumn.”

Zoe glanced sidelong at Lee and he flashed her a grin.

“Mom, if we did that, you’d miss a trip to England, and Gwen has her heart set on marrying in the church she was christened in.” Lucas Wheeler was a mirror image of his twin, if the mirror added a leather jacket, longer hair, and what Zoe was almost positive was a touch of eyeliner. It was a little eerie.

Gwen was a petite blonde with a no-nonsense manner, an English accent, and a fiancé she had completely wrapped around her finger. She smiled and squeezed Lucas’s hand. “He’s right, I’m afraid. And my mother would be heartbroken.”

“Well,” fretted Maureen, “London is lovely in the fall . . .”

“I’m just thrilled about the bridal shower,” Gwen said, giving Lucas a wry smile that Zoe recognized as a sign of humoring the parents.

“Oh yes, there are so many people I must introduce you to tomorrow, Gwen—and you too, Zoe,” Maureen said. “My boys, finally settling down . . .”

“Mom!” both boys protested, and Gwen and Zoe exchanged smiles.

When Lee had mentioned his family lived near D.C., he hadn’t mentioned that they lived in an enormous
seventeenth-century mansion that came with a name and its own docent, but fortunately Zoe and Gwen had been exchanging emails and Gwen gave her plenty of warning. “Neither of these two has any idea how damned intimidating that house is, so I thought I’d let you know.”

Zoe liked Gwen immensely, and Lucas, once she’d managed to look past the rock star image she was used to from the tabloids. It turned out that Médecins International was one of Maureen Wheeler’s favorite charities, so they’d hit it off well, and she didn’t seem to have any qualms about Zoe’s skin color. Tomorrow, at a bridal shower full of the old-money families of Virginia, who knew how it would go, but Zoe trusted Lee, and that was the most important part.

“I’m disappointed in you, big brother.” Lucas leaned over the table while Maureen was telling Gwen exactly who she’d be meeting at the bridal shower. “All that talk about serving your country, and you ditch the CIA as soon as a pretty face comes along.”

“Hey, you’ve ditched a lot of things for less,” Lee said. “Besides, you’re the one getting married, so you get to be the respectable brother for a while. I’ll be the crazy one off living in sin in the jungle.”

“Just . . . don’t aim for the same level of crazy as me, okay?” Lucas raised his eyebrows. “I’m not sure Mom could take it. And I’m pretty sure Zoe wouldn’t put up with it.”

“Not if half the stories I’ve heard are true, no.” Zoe gave them both a smile. “I love you,” she said to Lee, “but I have limits.”

“Warning received.” Lee leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I’ll behave myself.”

Lucas made a disgusted noise. “Look at us, man. We’re domesticated.”

“Yeah,” Lee said. “Isn’t it great?”

Zoe watched as Lucas glanced at Gwen, who shot him a “rescue me from this conversation” smile, then turned back to his brother. “Yeah, I think we’re pretty lucky.”