As Tears Go By (30 page)

She
kept her response short.

I’ll see you at six.

* * * *

Braydon
raced home, knowing Becca was probably waiting for him. It was already seven
and he’d told her he’d be home by six. When he walked into his apartment she
was sitting on his couch watching the news. She shut off the television the
second he stepped through the door. Nervous energy pulsed in the room.

“Where
were you?”

“Sorry
I’m late. There was traffic and I couldn’t get out of there until after four.”

“Out of
where? Braydon, where’ve you been?”

The
house was almost complete. Today a shipment of tile arrived and he was almost
ready to unveil his surprise. He hadn’t been sleeping very well, because now
that it was getting close he feared Becca would freak at his high-handedness.
She had a job to consider and her friends, a house, and of course, Hunter.
Simply put, he was a restless mess.

“I was
at work.”

She
scowled at him. “No, you weren’t.”

Why was
she being so oppositional? “Becca,” he said calmly. “I swear I was working.”

“For
who, because your boss said you were visiting family?”

Damn
it, Miranda.
“I
was doing a project in Center County.”

Her
lips trembled and he pinched his temples as his good intentions rapidly turned
into misinterpretations. The last thing he wanted her to feel was betrayed. All
of this secretiveness was in hopes of surprising her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell
you that’s where I was going.”

“Since
when have you been working there and why is this the first I’m hearing about
it? Your ex seems more informed of your whereabouts than I am.”

“She’s
my boss, Becca. Please stop referring to her as my ex. I was doing something on
family property.”

Her
brow lowered, as he seemed to dig himself deeper. “So you
weren’t
working.”

“I was.
I just wasn’t getting paid for my time.”

“Miranda—”

“Enough
with Miranda!” He snapped and her mouth snapped shut.

It was
understandable that Becca had trust issues, but he’d never done anything
untrustworthy. The inquisitions were getting old. Regretting his sharp tone, he
quickly apologized. “Sorry.” In a calmer voice, he explained, “She’s my boss,
Becca. Not my lover, not my mistress, and not anyone you need to worry about.”

Her
lips clamped tight. She was clearly upset.

Moving
to the couch, he stared at her, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sorry. I
shouldn’t have yelled, but it gets exhausting constantly having Kevin’s
misdeeds held against my record. I don’t want to keep defending suspicions
about a past I had no part in. I don’t hold my past against you.”

Her
shoulders sagged. “You’re right. I’m sorry. There’s just something about that
woman that makes me nervous.”

“You
have nothing to be nervous about.” Sure, Miranda made a habit of propositioning
him, but he’d made his position clear the last time they’d talked. Since then,
she’d seemed to accept they would never be more than friends.

“Why
didn’t you tell me you were going to Center County?”

She
seemed hurt and there was a quick solution to remedy that, but he wasn’t ready
to come clean. They’d had a great month and the holidays were quickly
approaching. He didn’t want to shock her and throw their groove out of whack.
He’d hoped to present the idea of moving there slowly. “How about I take you up
there at the end of the month and show you what I’ve been working on? I just
need a little time.”

She
nodded, but he still sensed her tension. “I don’t like secrets, Braydon. You
missed the closing today.”

“I’m
aware. I signed off on the project last Monday. My part’s done.” He should have
given her some sort of heads up he wouldn’t be back in town in time to attend
the meeting.

“Why
didn’t you tell me you wouldn’t be there?”

He
hadn’t even taken off his coat. Taking her hands, he offered the honest to God
truth. “It slipped my mind.”

His
phone rang, interrupting their discussion. The screen flashed Miranda’s name
and he quickly declined the call. Returning his gaze to Becca, he drew back as
she glared at him.

“She’s
calling you? How often does she call you?”

“It
doesn’t matter, Becca. We’re just friends.”

She
pulled her hands out of his. “It matters to me! And a second ago she was just
your boss.”

“You’re
being unfair.”

“Braydon,
you had
sex
with this woman. You had
a relationship with her. It isn’t ridiculous for me to feel uncomfortable about
her calling you.”

His
phone beeped, announcing a message. Becca glanced at his phone. “She left you a
message. Why don’t you see what she wanted?”

He really
didn’t want to do that. Not because he had any indiscretions to hide, but
because Miranda could easily say something that could be taken wildly out of
context. “I’d rather not.”

She
stood. “I’m going home.”

“Becca—”

Pivoting,
she glared at him. “Don’t treat me like an irrational person, Braydon. I’m a
woman and I’m well aware of your appeal. I’m also extremely insecure, which I
apologize for, but I can’t seem to prevent. Don’t be naïve and act like she
might not want more than you. Be decent enough to be upfront with me. Is this
something I have to worry about?”

He
sighed. “No—”

“Then
play the message.”

If she
was trying for intimidation, she failed. He knew her too well, saw through all
her masks, saw her battle scars and recognized her fear. Her husband had
cheated on her.
Such a simple statement with such
immeasurable significance.
He’d never known such perfidy, but he
understood how such a thing could shake a person’s trust in all future
relationships.

Deliberating
for a few moments, he gave up. He didn’t want to fight with her and her past
made it imperative he be completely open. His thumb slid over the screen,
playing the message on speakerphone. Hopefully disclosure would relieve her
ungrounded assumptions.

“Hey,
Bray. Just seeing if you’re back in town. I thought maybe we could grab a
drink. Call me.”

Or not.
Her expression was blank. He was
an idiot.

“Becca,
I swear I haven’t done anything wrong.” She remained silent. “Look, Miranda’s
made it clear that she’s available, but I made it clear I’m not interested.
She’s lonely and just looking for a friend, which is
all
I offered.”

“Did
you tell her that?”

“Yes!
Several times.”

“Then
why is she still calling you?”

“I
don’t know. I’m not in charge of her.”

“That’s
right. She likes bossing people around, doesn’t she?” She stood. “Remember when
you told Kevin I was your woman?”

“Yes.”

“Well…you’re
my man, Braydon. And I’ll be damned if I let some bossy…whatever she is, sniff
around my property. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“You’re
leaving?”

“Yes. I
need to go home and eat some ice cream. I’m mad at you so I’m afraid you can’t
come.”

“Becca—”

“Goodnight,
Braydon.” And with that she left.

Five
minutes later he received a text from her.

I’m also jealous. I’m sorry. I
love you.

Shutting off his
phone he sighed. It was nice having someone care enough to be territorial, but
the insecurities had to heal. All he could do was be patient with her. Over
time, he’d prove he was nothing like her ex and she’d eventually learn she
could trust him.

* * * *

Becca’s
hands were trembling as she knocked on Nikki’s door. Her friend answered, a
look of surprise on her face. “Becca? It’s after eight.” Nikki glanced at the
bag in her hand, packed with chocolate, wine, and ice cream. “What’s wrong?”

“Men
suck!”

“This
is news?”

She
pushed her way inside and felt a wave of embarrassment when she spotted Todd,
Nikki’s husband. “Hi, Todd. You don’t suck.”

“Hey,
Becca.”

“Come
on. Let’s go to the kitchen,” Nikki said then whispered, “They all suck
sometimes, hon.”

She
dumped her bag on the counter and rummaged through the pints of ice cream. “I
need a spoon.”

“Okay.
You wanna tell me what happened?” Nikki handed her a spoon and uncorked the
wine. Becca didn’t wait for a glass. Rather, she tipped the bottle back and
took a long sip.

“I
think Braydon’s boss is after him.”

Her
friend sighed and settled into the seat across from her. “I sort of suspected,
but now I’m not so sure.”

“What?”

Over
the next twenty minutes Nikki explained what she’d seen at the pub and Becca
caught her up on the latest events.

“In all
honesty, I don’t think he’s interested, Becs. He loves you.”

“Then
why is she still bothering him? Can’t she take a hint?”

“Maybe
it’s weird because he works for her. Braydon seems like a people pleaser. Maybe
it’s just not in his nature to say no to an old acquaintance needing a friend.”

She
made a rude sound. “I do not like that woman. Who does she think she is with
her fancy clothes and long legs?”

Nikki
smiled. “You’re jealous.”

“Of
course I’m jealous! Look at her, Nikki. The woman owns the company. She’s tall
and stunning and doesn’t come with baggage.”

“But
Braydon broke up with her for a reason. He’s with you now. If he wanted her
back and she’s opened the invitation, he’d be there, but he’s not. Give
yourself a little credit.”

Rubbing
her temples, she sighed. “But they have a
past
. People sometimes cling
to what they know. I love Braydon, but I wasn’t married to him for ten years.
There’s always going to be something Kevin holds over me
because
of our
history.” She stabbed her spoon into her melting ice cream and winced. “I hate
that someone else could know Braydon as intimately as I do. It’s like when
Loretta told me how much Kevin was confiding in her. Why couldn’t he talk to me
about all those feelings of inadequacy?”

Her
friend sighed. “Is this about Braydon or about Kevin?”

“Braydon.
Both. God, I don’t know. I’m a mess!”

Nikki
chugged her wine. “Okay, I think you’re overreacting. Marriage is different
than an affair. It’s hard to give up something you vowed your life to. I know
your relationship with GQ came right on the tails of your divorce and you’re
still letting go of those broken promises, but what Braydon had with this woman
wasn’t marriage. They didn’t have the history you and Kevin had. Stop
projecting your issues on his situation. You’ll make yourself and everyone else
crazy.”

“You’re
right. I know you’re right.”

“Honey,
you have to mourn your marriage and move on. He’s not coming back—luckily.
Maybe it’s too soon to accept your family isn’t going to be what you thought,
but you wouldn’t want him after what he did anyway. I’m proud of you for
confronting the neighbor, but don’t reopen that can of worms too much. It’s
recycled garbage you don’t need.”

They
both picked up a spoon as Nikki’s advice sank in. “I think seeing my neighbor
and knowing she isn’t anything special really damaged me. Miranda’s strikingly
beautiful. I couldn’t compete with Loretta. I certainly can’t compete with
Miranda.”

“No one
said you have to.” Settling back in her chair, Nikki studied her for a long
minute.

“What?”

“You’re
never going to get over your insecurities until you can look them in the eye,
Becs. This woman’s no better than you or anyone else. Let her know she’s
overstepping and she’ll probably back off.”

“I
can’t do that to Braydon. He has a right to his friends and he claims that’s
all she is.”

“Do you
believe him?”

Did
she? She shrugged. “I don’t know. He hasn’t given me reason to believe
otherwise, but I’m a head case. When she called tonight…it killed me.”

“So
tell him that. Maybe even tell her. The Apricot deal’s done. I’m not suggesting
you storm in their office and go batshit, but I see no harm in you claiming
what’s yours. If some woman was after Todd I wouldn’t hesitate.”

“You’re
different.”

“Okay,
then let her keep calling him. I’m sure
that
won’t get old.”

“Hey,
don’t be mean.”

“Then
don’t be a tissue. You get your big girl panties on and tell this woman exactly
who you are. She may sign his checks, but you’re the one buttering his bread.”