As the Light Dies (13 page)

Feels more like one in the morning than one in the afternoon
,
he thought, and then he set to work.

Won’t get done on its own
,
he told himself hating how the damp gloves felt against his hands.

He thought that using the snow shovel would be easy, it was anything but. The snow was wet and heavy, and it was awkward to walk through especially on the loading ramp, he was on a constant incline facing up hill and the wind rushed down towards him almost guided towards him by the walls on either side working like a funnel trying to push him all over the place.

A full shovel load of the dirty wet snow was too heavy so he took to shovelling small amounts a little quicker, throwing the snow off the end of the shovel sending it as far as he could anywhere out of the way. H
e’
d gone from one back breaking job to another.

After what felt like he must have been at it for half an hour, he turned to see how much h
e’
d cleared and his shoulders slumped as he sighed behind his paper dust mask, he could
n’
t see any difference. A little out of breath he went at it again, a little slower this time. He managed to go on for a little longer, or at least it felt longer to Collin but in the end he had to stop, he was panting heavily, badly out of breath. Moisture built up inside his mask, he could feel it against his chin, damp, cold, horrible! He pulled the shovel in close and leaned against it for a minute to catch his breath. He was facing in to the wind looking up the ramp, the thought to turn his back in to the wind did
n’
t even cross his mind.

As he stared up the ramp in to nothingness, simply watching the dirty snow swirl in all directions he was just able to make out the faint light pouring through the petrol stations kiosks windows. He watched it and every now and then he caught a glimpse of one of the pump lights or one of the car tail lights, if he squinted his eyes slightly he thought that it looked like a spaceship coming in to land and the thought reminded him of an old sci-fi horror movie h
e’
d seen where a group of men stationed at a remote outpost in Antarctica find something buried in the ice and get a nasty surprise when they dig it out.

Wouldn’t mind watching that movie again
,
he thought.

He caught his breath and went back to work, he carried on much slower this time trying to breathe more evenly but not too deeply. He did
n’
t want to get any of that foul ash in his lungs.

After another ten minutes that felt like thirty or even forty he had to stop again, breathing was nearly impossible! He leaned against the shovel again and watched the spaceship while despite the cold he felt sweat trickle down the small of his back, he felt horrible. He tugged the loose trousers up again for what felt like the thousandth time and straightened out the oversized jacket, he was tired and agitated and could
n’
t wait to go home, never mind go on lunch.

As he waited to catch his breath again thoughts of home and his grandparents who h
e’
d lived with since he was only little filled his mind. He could see his granddad sitting back on the sofa completely lost in some book he was reading, probably about some act of daring do on the high seas, and his grandma would be sat in her armchair busily knitting while listening to a play on the radio with one ear and listening to a pot in the kitchen with the other one. There would be a stew of some sorts simmering away filling the rest of the house with the hearty aroma of home cooking....Suddenly Collin realised he could
n’
t see any trace of the petrol station up ahead.

He squinted and blinked his eyes trying hard not to rub them as they began to itch.

There was nothing, no kiosk light, no pump lights, no car tail lights!

Maybe the power cuts have started
,
he thought straining his eyes.

As he stared he began to see a shape appearing!

He was sure of it! The more he stared the more he thought he could see the sides or at least corners! He stared concentrating hard even though the cold wind was hurting his eyes.

Yes
,
there were sides, definite sides! He was transfixed as a slightly off square block began to form at the end of the loading ramp. It almost looked like it was growing in between hiding behind gusts of ashy snow
.
‘What the hel
l
, he thought still watching. There was no doubt in his mind that it was growing now, growing bigger and bigger!

No, it can’t be
,
he told himself, beginning to doubt his eyes
.
Must’a been out in this crap for too lon
g
, he thought when suddenly a small red block flickered just in front of him making him flinch, and with it a beep sounded in time with the flickering red block.

They flickered and sounded in sequence with each other
,
beep, beep, bee, e, e, eee, ep, e
p
, flash, flash, flash....flash, flash!

WHAT THE HELL IS IT
,
he thought again frustrated as lightning flashed overhead giving Collin just enough of a view to figure out what he was looking at, and he realised just in time what was happening and dived out of the way kicking as hard as he could with both legs praying that the snow would break his fall just as the rear end of the articulated truck reversed passed him, right over where he had been standing only a second ago.

The rear lights and reversing horn both worked in a stuttering sequence again as the truck backed up against the bump stops at the bottom of the bay fitting snugly against one of the roller doors.

Collin looked up and down the length of the truck from where he lay in the snow roughly half way along the traile
r’
s body shocked and amazed at how close h
e’
d just come to being flattened.

Even though he was lying roughly in the middle of the long truck, slightly closer to the back than the front, the front end of the truck was nearly invisible, even when the cab door opened and the coughing choking driver jumped out Collin still had a hard time working out where the front of the truck was
.“
Hay how are ya
?”
the driver bellowed, coughing again as he slammed the cab door and walked over. Ash clung to him from top to bottom.

“
You must have royally pissed someone off to get this job huh
,”
said the driver.

“
Uh, yea, I suppose so. I, umm, I mean, umm, you nearly ran me over just now
,”
Collin managed.

“What
!
Get a fucking grip son, I was barely moving! Even if I did touch ya as
I
crawle
d
back, you would have had plenty time to move, and besides I reckon you probably had a much better chance of seeing me than I did of seeing you eh. Great big truck reversing towards ya, specially with you being in a loading doc
k
watchin
g
out for trucks eh
.
”

The driver winked at Collin. Collin did
n’
t know what to say, he was lost for words. The driver coughed again badly this time and buried his face in his ash covered chequered sleeve. He buckled so much he had to reach out and grab on to the side of the truck for balance. Once he recovered and straightened up he looked at Collin and laughed.

“
What you got that stupid mask on for? They do
n’
t do fuck all
,”
he said walking closer to Collin.

As he approached Collin he held his right hand out.

Collin wanted to back away but knew it would make him look stupid.

“
I fucking did this playing with the trailers electrics back down the road. I slipped on the fucking ice
,”
said the driver. Collin relaxed a little and tried to see what the driver was trying to show him, then wished he had
n’
t. He cringed and looked away and took a step back!

The drivers hand was covered in blood that was horribly black where it had mixed with the ash. The driver peeled back a piece of old rag that h
e’
d used as a bandage and Collin saw that the fleshy part between his thumb and index finger was split wide open right down to where the finger and thumb bones hinged from each other. His thumb dropped as the driver unwrapped his hand and it just hung there dead, the cut was nasty and jagged and it looked filthy.

Collin sucked in air through his teeth and said
,
“
Whoa, Ouc
h
that looks really bad, yo
u’
d better go see Mad Ma, ugh, I mean Maggie, sh
e’
s the first aider
.
”

“
Mad Maggie eh
,”
said the driver smiling.

“Uh, N
o
I did
n’
t mean that, I wa
s
”

“
Whateve
r”
, said the driver cutting him off
.“I’
m kidding chill, I think
I’
m gonna need more than a first aider though eh. This fucke
r’
s gonna need stitches,
I’
ll go find her anyway. O
h’
and yo
u’
d better get some grit down or i
t’
ll be a fucking nightmare getting out
.
”

The driver turned and headed off up the steps and disappeared inside, leaving Collin alone again.

He felt sick after seeing the drive
r’
s wounded hand the thought of it made him keep wanting to press his own thumb and index finger together closing them together tightly.

He walked up to the front of the truck and stood by the cab and idly kicked off the gathered snow from the bumper and brushed the rest off with his hand. It looked like the driver had just burst out of a coal mine, not driven for hours in blizzard conditions. The front of the cab was practically black! Collin turned and leaned back against the cab looking back at the petrol station, his spaceship was back, he could make out the forecourt a little easier now though now that he was a little closer and it kind of did away with any childish thoughts. Car taillights flickered through the dirty snow while they sat in line waiting for fuel. He caught brief glimpses of silhouettes as people moved around fuelling up their cars under cover of the forecourt canopy.

He watched for a moment passing time with his frozen hands wedged up under his armpits and thought of home again wondering what grandma was cooking for dinner today until he was woken from his daydream when he thought he heard a shout.

He stood up off the cab quickly thinking it might be Mad Maggie back up on the metal steps checking up on him, he would
n’
t put it passed her
.
At least she wouldn’t come out after him
,
he thought. Then holding the shovel by his side he walked around the front of the truck looking back. He could
n’
t even see the stairs never mind anyone on them. He was just taking his first step towards the steps when he heard the shout again
.
Definitely a shout
,
he thought but it was
n’
t coming from up the steps, it was coming from behind him! He turned back around and faced the petrol station, listening.

All he could hear was his own breathing and the wind and snow ruffling and pelting against his hood battering his head. The shout came again and this time it was followed immediately by another. There was no mistaking that it had definitely come from the petrol station.

Collin pulled back his hood trying to listen to what was going on, he cupped his hands over his ears trying to shield them from the wind. It worked a little. The wind still muffled what he could hear but he could hear and he could definitely hear people shouting at each other. They were arguing!

They were in a hurry, rushing. Then thunder blanked out everything completely giving Collin a fright, he was
n’
t ready for the thunder and now he felt deaf, his ears actually rang now and he could
n’
t hear much of anything, but there was something, h
e’
d heard something before the thunder, he made out words
.“
Get it shifted,
C’
mon hurry up man for fuck sake...
.“
Just died, i
t’
s completely dead!...
.“
Ca
n’
t, it wo
n’
t do anything...
.”
Fucking move it
!
”