Ascension (32 page)

For six years the “Ursari House” had been the premier act in the Fisher-Fielding Extravaganza, which was once again the undisputed heavyweight of the North American circus world. By 1964, however, gate receipts were falling, and attendance was the lowest it had been since the post-fire years. The big cities still packed the houses, but in the mid-sized cities it was not unusual to play to half-full arenas. The F-F no longer went to smaller cities; since the big tops disappeared, no circuses did.

Despite this downturn, things were good for Martin Fisher-Fielding. Since his coup in 1957 he had faced no serious threats to
his leadership. Norris Fisher-Fielding had all but abandoned his hopes of regaining the helm of the F-F; with Martin’s control of the majority vote, the only way he could ever outvote him was if one of the Respectables gave him their shares, which was not likely to happen. The Respectables did not tend to give things away. He had tried to purchase their shares through a third party, but the deal had been closely scrutinized, and in the end it was ruled to have violated the original agreement and was nullified.

It was midway through the season, and the F-F had just closed out a show in Columbus, Ohio, heading to Cleveland for a three-night stand. On the train Mika Ursari sat, trying to think of a way to tell her parents the news of her engagement. She had for three years now been seeing Jacob Blacke behind her father’s back, and she knew full well he likely would not approve of her marrying him. He was, after all, ten years her senior, but that wasn’t what would bother her father. For some reason Mika could not understand, Salvo looked down on Jacob because he was a farmer. Everyone, including Salvo, knew that this made little sense, but it remained a fact. Mika didn’t care, and she didn’t care what her father said. She was twenty-one and could do what she liked.

Mika asked her mother for help, and Anna set Salvo up. He didn’t notice when the railcar emptied in a stream of various excuses, leaving only himself, Anna and Mika present. Jacob, timid as ever, had declined to be present. Mika could not understand why he was so afraid of Salvo, but she agreed to tell them herself. He was her father, and she would deal with him.

The best way, she decided, was to get right to the point, to lay things out as they were. “Jacob and I are getting married” is what she told him, her voice steady and her face composed.

Salvo reeled, unprepared for any sort of grand announcement. “You’re what?”

“Jacob and I are getting married,” she repeated.

“Jacob Blacke?”

“Yes.”

“When was this decided?”

“A while ago.”

“I see.” Salvo’s eyes narrowed, as they always did when he was angry.

“Salvo,” Anna began, her voice low and calming, “Jacob is a fine man. He has always done well by you.”

Salvo nodded. “He is a good man, and I am glad to have him in my troupe. But I will not allow him to marry my daughter.”

“I suppose you have some reason for denying us,” Mika said, her voice rising a little.

Salvo was silent. He stared at Mika, noticing not for the first time how much she resembled her mother in both appearance and temperament. “You can do better,” he said finally.

“That is for me to decide,” Mika said. She stood up and went to the door. “I will marry him, and you can either agree or I can disappear. It’s up to you.” She slid the door open and stepped out.

“You will do as I say,” Salvo shouted after her, anger in his voice. The door closed.

Salvo leapt to his feet, but Anna stopped him from following her. “What have I done?” he said. “Why do I get such defiance from my children?”

“They are adults now,” Anna answered. “We can’t tell them what to do.”

“They will listen.”

“No, they won’t.”

Salvo slumped into his chair, suddenly looking very tired. Anna sat beside him, reaching for his hand. “Why do you disapprove of Jacob?” she said.

“He is not good enough for her.”

“That,” Anna said, “is what my father said about you.”

Salvo looked at her, rubbed his forehead, and exhaled a long breath.

“She’ll do it anyway, so you may as well make peace.”

Salvo nodded. She was right; she had learned this lesson hard. “I will speak to her.”

Anna squeezed his hand. “It’s no fun getting old.”

“We’re not old.”

“I’m not. But you’ve been younger.”

Salvo laughed. If someone had told him in Budapest that he would someday be fifty-four years old, he would not have believed them. Now he felt as though he would live another fifty years and still be a child.

They arrived in Cleveland in the early afternoon and had a couple of hours to rest before that night’s performance. Salvo was never able to nap before a walk, so he went to the arena to check the rigging. He was surprised to see András and János there, sitting side by side under the wire. They both wore grave looks, watching him approach with obvious trepidation.

“What is the matter with you two?” Salvo asked jokingly. Neither of them answered him, and Salvo asked the question again, this time seriously.

András looked at János, then at Salvo. “He has lost his nerve.”

“Who, János?”

“Yes.”

“What do you mean?”

“I cannot go on the wire, Uncle,” János said, shame on his face.

“Of course you can. You are a wonderful wire walker.”

“I can’t,” he said, shaking his head.

“I do not understand.”

“I can’t explain it. Something inside me has broken.”

“If he walks, he will fall,” András said. “He is afraid. He should not walk with fear.”

“We all have fear,” Salvo said. “It is what keeps us careful. A little fear is a good thing.”

“It is not a little fear.” András put his arm around the boy. “The thought of going up makes him shake. It is best for everyone that he stops.”

Salvo looked at János, who had tears streaming down his face, and he knew that András spoke correctly. Still, the boy was one of the most gifted walkers Salvo had ever seen, and he did not like the thought of him quitting. “All right,” he said. “Why don’t you take a break, sit out a couple of days, and then see how you feel.”

János nodded. “Okay. But I don’t think this will get better.”

Salvo smiled. “Wait and see. Maybe you’ll surprise yourself.”

András and Salvo moved out of János’s earshot. “He’s lost it completely,” András said.

“He should sit out. But he should not make any final decisions. He can assist on the platform for now.”

András looked back at János. “I do not think he will change his mind.”

“Maybe not. But you can never tell. Jacob can work his spot, and if he wants to come back, there will be a place for him.”

András nodded. But he knew János would not be back.

E
LSABETH AND
M
IKA SAT ON A BENCH
in the performers’ area. Mika slumped, dangling her arms, stretching them out. Elsabeth slowly rotated a sore wrist, watching her sister out of the corner of her eye. She wished that Mika had waited until the winter break to tell their father about her engagement. The wire was hard enough without having people mad at each other, and it was stressful for
everyone to have disagreements going on while they lived in such close quarters. If only everyone could get along, things would go smoothly and easily. How much happier we all would be, she thought.

Elsabeth was bored. She was bored with her entire life, bored of herself. She had no idea what to do about it, and hadn’t told anyone else of her feelings, not even Mika. She knew most people would laugh at her; how could her life be boring? She travelled across the continent with the circus, performed death-defying feats and was famous. What could be boring about that? she wondered. And yet it was.

She had never really had a friend, she supposed. Mika was a friend, but she was her twin sister so it was different, and other than that there were only Daniel and János, who were kind enough and dear to her, but they were relatives too, not friends. Being a Ursari had isolated her from other people her age, and it wore her down. Elsabeth was always tired, even when she slept for hours and hours, and nothing could stop her from yawning all day long. She wondered whether she would ever wake up.

“I don’t understand why he has to be this way,” Mika said, snapping Elsabeth out of her thoughts.

“It’s just the way he is.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

Elsabeth shrugged. “What can you do?”

“Nice attitude,” Mika said. “This affects you too, you know—or one day it will. Unless you plan on marrying the president, or God, no one will be good enough.”

“I don’t see it coming up anytime soon. I don’t even know any men. Unless I marry Daniel or János.”

“I wonder if Dad would allow that.”

“Gross.”

The girls laughed at this conjecture. Then Mika’s face hardened and she clenched her teeth. “It isn’t funny. Sometimes I really hate him.”

Elsabeth said nothing. She didn’t hate their father, but she thought she might if she were Mika. Elsabeth had never experienced an emotion as strong as hate, and wondered what it was like. She was almost jealous of her sister, and it made her feel pathetic.

E
TEL CLIMBED THE LADDER
to the platform, the second last to do so. Salvo went first, as he always did, then Anna, the twins, Daniel and Jacob, András and finally Etel. Usually János went before András, and Jacob usually went last, but tonight János was going last because he would be the one to set up the gear for the House, and would not be going on the wire. Etel was sorry for her nephew, but she could not understand how the boy had lost his nerve so suddenly. Such comprehension was not within her.

Already on the platform, Salvo cast his thoughts back to his conversation with Jacob a quarter-hour earlier. He had first explained that János did not want to walk for a while, and that Jacob would be doing the House. Jacob did not normally do the House, but he knew it and had done it in practice many times, as well as having filled in when someone was sick. Salvo had confidence in him, not nearly as much as he had in János, but confidence nonetheless. Then, before he left, Salvo had extended his hand to Jacob, and told him that he would welcome him into the Ursari family as a son-in-law. Jacob had taken his hand and promised him that he would treat Mika well, and Salvo had believed him.

As Mika gained the platform she shot Salvo an angry look, and he knew that she had not yet spoken with Jacob. He smiled to himself, knowing she would feel ashamed when she found out, and he resolved not to tease her too badly. It would be a happy
time later tonight, and he would break out a bottle of rye, maybe two. You are a lucky man, he said to himself. He looked down and saw that the juggling act that preceded them was nearly finished and began to mentally prepare himself.

He willed his mind blank and envisioned himself performing the act flawlessly, felt his muscles flow across the wire. He did this for several minutes, then he heard the band play the jugglers off, and it was time for the Ursaris to start.

Salvo stepped onto the wire, his balancing pole gripped firmly in his hands. He crossed the wire by himself, doing a handstand in the middle, wavering slightly to sell it. Then he returned to the platform, and András, Daniel and Mika went out. András and Daniel held a pole between them, and Mika braced it around her midsection and spun around it, once, twice, three times. The crowd liked this one, and showed their approval loudly. The Ursaris did the bicycle tricks, followed by Etel’s blindfolded solo walk. Then Salvo lay on his back in the middle of the wire, and Anna walked across, stepping on his stomach as she crossed over him. He winked up at her, and she smiled.

As Salvo reached the platform, he noticed Daniel had the strangest look on his face—he was white as a ghost—but he didn’t ask him what was the matter. It was time to build the House. He joined himself with Jacob, who had switched places with Etel, who usually walked directly behind Salvo. When they were harnessed together János passed them their balancing poles, and they stepped forward four feet onto the wire. Behind them, András joined himself with Daniel, the last one on the bottom row. Then Anna leapt onto the pole between Salvo and Jacob, and Etel between András and Daniel. János passed Etel and Anna a harness, which they placed over their shoulders. There were no straps in these harnesses; a U-shaped piece of metal went over
each shoulder, and the pole joined a crosspiece at chest level, in the front or back depending on what the performer’s position was. Anna and Etel took their balancing poles, and Mika and Elsabeth mounted the pole between them. Salvo received a signal from János that all was ready. With a tilt of his head they started out.

Immediately János began the climb down the ladder to the ground, where he would rush to the other side of the stage and then climb back up to the far platform in time to help the others disassemble the House. This was normally Jacob’s job, and he was pretty good, but he usually only barely made it. Salvo wasn’t sure if János was as fast going up and down the ladder as Jacob.

He did not think about this prospect as he crossed the wire. He concentrated on timing his movements to the exact moment that the others would move; even though they followed his lead, he tried to anticipate their emulations. When they reached the centre of the wire he stopped, and he could tell by the crowd that Elsabeth and Mika were upside down. They held this longer than usual and Salvo wondered whether they weren’t buying János some time. When he saw that János was nearly halfway up the ladder he knew that the boy would make it, so he decided instead that Mika was probably making some kind of point. He heard a sigh from the crowd when the twins were down, and to make a point of his own, he delayed several seconds before starting forward again.

Salvo felt a slight tug at his harness, an indication that those behind him were not following. He stopped, but it was too late. The wire jolted underneath his feet and the House collapsed.

They were falling. Hands released balancing poles, reaching out—some finding reward and others not. Salvo fell straight onto the wire, wrapping his legs around it, ignoring the pain as his right leg bent beyond its normal capacity. Knowing what had
happened, he blindly reached out and grabbed Anna as she fell past him, his grip poor at first, better once he had a chance to adjust it. Etel hung onto the wire beside him, leaning her waist over it, her left hand clutching the wire, her right reaching out to steady herself. Further back, András dangled by his fingertips; he was having a hard time holding on. Jacob was beside him, almost sitting, and he moved to help András better his grip. Below people were screaming hysterically, and Salvo wished they would be quiet. He looked down and only then did he see Daniel lying on his back, his body flailing wildly, like he was being electrocuted. Not far from him lay Mika and Elsabeth. Neither of them moved. Between them spread a puddle of what he knew could only be blood. Anna tried in vain to look down, but it was impossible for her to see them from where she was, and her efforts were compromising Salvo’s grip on her arm.