Ascension (25 page)

"Not going to invite me into your bed now, are you?" he says from the hallway.

I turn to him, tears in my eyes.

"Why did you do that?"

He comes to me, leaning down so he's just inches from my face. He traces my bottom lip with a finger but the touch of his hand imparts nothing of his emotions.

"When you give yourself to me," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want it to be because you think you're insane or that it doesn't matter. I want it to be because you mean it. I want you to know that it matters." He turns and walks away, leaving me alone in the darkness.

I spend the next day in a funk, wrapped in a blanket on my bed. Not even the bright sun shining on the
Charles River
can please me. I was so certain that this was all a psychotic delusion, but the sight of Michel torturing the man destroyed that belief. Why did he treat the man so heartlessly? I imagine it's a form of punishment. He found someone he felt deserved death and killed him to show me what a monster he is. I know that in my own little fantasy world, he would have been kind, he wouldn't have been a vampire or fallen angel or demon – whatever he is. He would have been a priest. He would have shown mercy.

I rise from bed late in the afternoon and other than looking over the daily papers and watching some afternoon news on television, I keep to myself in my bedroom, licking my emotional wounds. In the evening, I sit alone in the library and stare out at the cityscape as the sun sets. Soon, the lights from the buildings across the
Charles River
flicker into view like so many stars in the growing night sky.

Indecision about my situation nags me – should I just give in to Michel and let him have me as he wants? Or should I hold out until I know more? All I know is that he hasn't come to me, hasn't let me fuck him the way he promised when he left and so I know something's changed.

These thoughts occupy my mind during the evening and I begin to wonder if Michel stayed somewhere else. Maybe with Kate. Only much later does Michel appear as I'm deep into a book
that I found
on the Council tucked away in the shelves. A history written in the 18
th
century, the book ancient, the binding threadbare from much use.

I close it when he enters the living area. He looks like the old Michel I remember, his hair a bit wild, tucked behind his ears, dressed in black.

"I was wondering if you'd gone away."

"I've been busy," he says. "Planning, getting ready for an operation."

"Consolidating your grip on power?" I say, with only a tiny hint of humor in my voice.

He glances at me. "Something like that." He stands and just looks at me.

"I wanted to talk to you," I say finally, debating with myself over whether to bring it up now or later.

"And I you, but right now, I don't have time."

I sigh. He'll be out all night and I'll be alone once more.

"Is this one of those 'I may not come back' missions?"

"They all are, but the risks I face are fewer and fewer the more power I get."

"As in fewer other vampires who can beat you in a fight?"

"Precisely." He glances at his watch.

"Are you going to kill them all, one by one?"

He turns away.

"If that's what it takes to prevent what I know is coming, yes."

"What's coming?"

He shakes his head. "You already know."

"Dominion," I say and he nods. "Julien told me the Blackstone Group’s plans. I feel so alone," I say, regretting it instantly, for I sound like a spoiled child upset that her parents are going out. He's at my side in an instant, sitting beside me, one arm around me on the back of the sofa.

"I know," he says, stroking my cheek with a finger. "I didn't mean it to be this way, but it has to be for now. This is war, Eve. People have to make sacrifices."

"I wish you'd tell me more," I say, my voice wavering just a bit. " I don't know who to trust, what to believe. What to decide."

"I've told you as much as I feel I safely can. You have to understand that the more you know, the more danger I put you in. On this, I disagree with Julien."

"I found this book," I say, hoping to keep him with me a bit longer. I open it and flip through a few pages. "It says that if a vampire kills outside the Treaty, they're banned from the Council. You killed that man last night and Julien killed Luke. Which means…"

"Which means we’re out of the Council," he said. "But that was a foregone conclusion when Julien was staked and I had to go to Soren. I was just in denial."

"Michel, you have to tell me what's going on." I put my hand on his arm, hoping to sense something in him but he's a blank. "Why are Adepts so important? What happened to you to change you?"

He runs his finger over my bottom lip.

"This is war and you're the weapon."

"What's the endgame?"

"Ah, now that is the question," he said and smiles. "The one I can't answer without endangering you even more than you already are."

"Why?"

"Because if you knew, you'd be dead if anyone found out." He leans over and kisses my cheek. "You'll know soon enough, depending on how things go in the next while. Just remember, I didn't want any of this for you. But you had to be so damned strong willed that I couldn't erase your memories of me."

"So damn cryptic," I say as he stands up. I follow him to the door. "Tell me this one thing," I say and take his arm. "When I drink your blood, I experience telepathy for a short time, right?"

"Yes, but only as long as the blood remains in your system."

"You once said if I were your blood slave, we could connect even at a distance."

"I'd know where you were," he says. "How you were. You could call me, even just in your mind, and I'd hear you."

"I never read about that in any of the material at the SCU. What else aren't you telling me? Why am I so important?"

"You're the conduit."

"What does that mean?"

"I can't tell you. I don't want you to know." He shakes his head and presses his finger against my lips. "That's enough for now."

"Feed me your blood before you go."

He says nothing for a very long moment.

"Eve," he says. "Don't." He shakes his head. "Don't tempt me or yourself. Once you get a taste for it, you'll want more and down that road lies addiction."

I step closer. "I'm not trying to tempt you," I say, slipping my arms around his neck. "At least this way if anyone comes and I can't fight them off, you'll know about it."

He stands in silence as if trying to decide.

"Not like this," he says finally, chopping his hand down.

"Not like this?" I say, barely able to control my frustration. "Yesterday, I offered myself to you and you refused because I thought this was just a psychotic episode and you wanted me to understand it's real. So now I do. You showed me that last night. Now," I say, clenching my fists, "You scare the shit out of me about the danger I'm in." I rub my forehead, the twinge of a migraine threatening. "If you feed me your blood now and you're killed, at least I'll know and can prepare to be claimed by whoever finds me like a cheap bottle of plonk."

I cover my eyes, tears of frustration biting at the corners.

"No, no," he says, taking me in his arms, crushing me against him, burying his face in my neck, his lips beside my ear. "I'd never let that happen," he whispers. "Never. I'd destroy every vampire in existence to stop it."

I let him hold me. I let him comfort me, rocking me slowly in his arms, brushing my hair back. I slip my arms around his neck and pull him down in a kiss that starts out soft, chaste, just a pure expression of a need to touch him, but very soon becomes more passionate. When his tongue touches mine, I feel one agonizingly intense surge of lust and desire.

"This," he says, his voice husky as he bends down and picks me up in his arms. "This is how I want you."

He carries me over to the side of the bed and lies on top of me. I wrap my legs around him, pulling him against me. As we kiss, the connection between us deepens until I can barely tell my own senses and emotions from his. There's just enough separation that I can feel him remove my clothing, opening my robe and pulling off my nightgown so that I lie naked beneath him. He needs no words, for I know what he feels. I feel it as well – his intense desire for me as a woman, for my blood, and for this union. His need to touch me, to taste me, to lose himself even momentarily in this connection we form like some salve for all the centuries of existence.

He presses his mouth against the beating pulse at my neck, lingering over it, delighting in the feel of it under his lips and against his tongue. I think he'll bite me then but he doesn't. Instead he licks the curve of my breasts, sucking my nipples until they hardened, sending a jolt of desire through my body. Then he moved lower, his lips tracing the soft roundness of my hips and belly, mouthing the tender flesh of my sex. I feel drunk with lust beyond anything I've ever experienced, the pleasure rising as if time has stopped and the moment stretches on and on until I think I'd die from it.

He rises up and undresses, then he pulls me onto his lap, holding himself for me
.
I sit on him, and he enters me fully, filling me up completely
. T
he pressure and friction
sends
me on another crest, my heart pounding. I cry out from its intensity, his mouth silencing me in a kiss. Then, when I think it can increase no more, the short sharp pain as he bites me is counteracted by the pleasure.

While my pleasure wanes, his grows more intense and overwhelms my consciousness. Soon, the edges of my vision blur and it isn't from tears. My heart beats so rapidly that I'm sure I'm dying.

Which I am.

CHAPTER 23

"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them."

Kahlil Gibran

"No, no,
no!"
Michel pulls away
, our connection diminishing, his presence receding while the world rushes back in. Blood loss saps me of all strength and I struggle to see past the fog that clouds my vision. Michel looms over me, his mouth bloody. He runs to the door. "Vasily!" he shouts into the hallway. "Transfusion! Now!"

He returns and bites his own wrist, holding it to my mouth, pressing the gash against my lips.

"Drink," he said. "You must drink."

"I don't want to be a vampire. I'd rather die."

"You won't be," he says, trying once more to get me to drink. "I promise you. Just drink."

I can't see his face clearly, for it goes in and out of focus, but I know he's there, his huge black wings open behind him, his blue eyes visible through the fog.

"Don't lie to me," I say.

"I'm not," he replies.

Finally, I comply and swallow a few mouthfuls. Vasily comes in and works on me, tying a tourniquet around my upper arm, struggling to find a vein, then the tiny prick as the needle enters my vein for the I.V.

"How many units do you have?" Michel says.

"Several of O negative."

"That might not do." Michel turns to back me, bending down close. "Eve, you must drink more. If you don't, you'll die.
Drink
."

"I can't feel my arms and legs." Tears spring to my eyes. "I don't want to be a vampire," I say, barely able to speak.

"You won't be," he says, shaking his head. He leans over me, his face darkened by fear. He keeps pressing his wrist to my lips, urging me on. On my other side, Vasily attaches a second bag of blood to the I.V. pole as if he's done this before and is an expert.

Finally, I drink more, the
tangy
coppery tang pleasant, but it doesn’t have the effect on me that Julien’s
blood
had. Michel doesn't need to speak for I know what he's thinking.
Don't leave me
. I don't hear his voice in my head as if he were speaking to me. I just know his thoughts.

Soon, some of my strength returns and my vision clears.

"Are you a nurse as well?" I ask Vasily, smiling at him while he works away with such efficiency.

"You're feeling better," he says and smiles back, but it's forced, his lips thin.

Michel leans down and presses his forehead against mine.
You're alive
.

My mouth feels dry, and an incredible thirst hits me.

"Water," I say to Vasily. He leaves the room. "What have you done to me?" I say to Michel. But whatever connection has formed between us, Michel seems able to control it for he doesn't answer me. He's a blank. But then I know – I know because I saw it when we were connected so deeply. When Michel lost all control over himself, for a brief moment, I saw into his memories – memories he tried hard to block when I touched him that day in the SCU and has been blocking ever since.

 
He knew Soren killed my mother because she wouldn’t turn over her research to him.
Michel knew it had been Soren all along.
He lost my file on purpose so Soren couldn't have me. So Julien couldn't have me. So I wouldn't be a weapon.

One thing Michel was certain of – Soren was out to claim Dominion for the Ancients, enslave us all to them, using me as a tool.

Even in my weakened state, I know then that my motivation in life has changed permanently. I no longer need to kill vampires. I needed to understand Ancients and their plans to enslave humanity.

I don't want it. That's what I'm fighting.

Whatever connection forms between us by my drinking his blood seems to be two-way for I can hear his thoughts, but apparently only when he wants me to.

"It's not fair," I say. "That you can hear everything I think at all times, but I can only hear your thoughts when you let me."

"Existence isn't fair." He says out loud. "Now drink more."

I take another mouthful of the blood that drips out of the wound on his wrist, enjoying the taste for it makes me dreamy. "What will this do to me?"

"Save your life. Now drink."

I do, but only because it will save me so I can fight the Ancients. Time passes with me in a sleepy daze, swallowing the occasional mouthful of Michel's blood, watching while Vasily attaches yet another bag of blood to the I.V. Sensation returns to my limbs and I can lift my head off the pillow briefly to glance around the room. I reach down and pull a sheet up to cover my nakedness. Blood stains the bed beside my neck.

"You almost killed me," I say to Michel, who sits on the bed beside me.

"I lost myself," he says. "Or Soren compelled me to kill you. It won't happen again."

You're right it won't.

He lets me in at that, and I can feel his pain and regret.

Eve… Please…

"I could know everything right now, and you won't let me in."

"You can't know everything."

"Why?" Anger fills me despite my weakness. "Why not tell me the truth? Because it might ruin your plans?"

"If you knew and they took you, they'd know everything as well through you. Compartmentalization is key to keeping a plan secret. You just can't know."

I try to block him, but have no idea how. Will pain work now? I bite my cheek hard, feeling the sharp intense pain of it.

He takes my face in his hands and looks in my eyes.

"Eve, I love you. Don't shut me out."

"Then tell me what you're planning."

He shakes his head,
 
and then kisses me.

"I can't," he says. "Even if it costs me your affection. One day, you'll understand and forgive me."

He turns away, staring through the open drapes to the night sky. I don't know if I can block him, but if he can't trust me enough to tell me the truth, I can't know that his motives are honorable. I close my eyes and turn my face away.

You're a monster.

I say it in my mind to see his reaction. When he does nothing, when nothing in his bearing makes me think he can hear me, I relax.

"When I recover, you're going to let me go free," I say plainly.

He turns back, sadness in his eyes.

"What do you think you're going to do with this newfound freedom?"

"I'm going to kill Soren," I say, remembering something else I picked up when he'd lost control. I can kill them – the Ancients. The Council has a way. My mother was involved in its development but Michel’s afraid to use it.

"You're going to show me how."

 
I
recover enough to sit up in bed and drink a cup of hot tea Vasily brings to me along with some toast. Michel sits on the bed beside me, watching me eat and drink, an expression of resignation on his face. He disapproves of my desire to kill Soren, but I'm not going to let up unless he lets me do what my mother was hoping to do – stop those out for Dominion when vampires rule over mortals.

Michel's pretending to be on Soren's side, his lieutenant, helping him gain power. Their relationship is one of subservience – Master and slave for Michel is now his creation. He gave Michel the waters of life – a substance derived from Ancient blood that transformed Michel, bringing out the traits of the fallen angels who created vampires. The
y used these
same traits to create me.
I have fallen angel in me.

"Tell me about this nanotechnology the Council's developed using my mother's research," I say as I down another piece of toast.

It’s what Reynolds was working on.

"It targets specific vampires using their DNA. Each of us has a unique DNA pattern. The nanotechnology seeks out certain sections on their DNA and attaches to it, then releases micron-sized particles of silver, which weakens the vampire at the cellular level. There's nothing left but molecules. Virtually impossible to reconstitute because of the damage done to the DNA."

"So it won't hurt someone without that DNA sequence?"

He shakes his head.

"Your mother was searching for
one specific sequence of DNA common
to all Ancients
but absent in made vampires
so she could kill all
Ancients
permanently. All made Vampires would be preserved because while we have Ancient
 
DNA in us, we don't have the exact sequences."

I think about this for a moment. "You took the waters of life. How does that affect you?"

"It causes dormant genes to become active, giving us greater powers of transubstantiation. So I can create these at will. And other things."

"I drank your blood," I said. "So I have your DNA in me?"

He nods. "It wrote itself into your genome and has become part of you, altering your abilities. Your mother was searching for one specific sequence that all vampires and all Ancients possess that we could use to target us all, destroy us all."

 
The thought repulses me. As much as I hate vampires, as much as I hate Soren for what he did to my mother, I don't hate those who abide by the treaty. To kill them all – to exterminate them as a species – seems barbaric.

"Why do you support this plan? It's terrible. It's genocide."

He shrugs and glances away.

"The Ancients have betrayed mortals from the time they first encountered you. They've done you no good, infecting you with this disease, bringing you into their battles, ruling over you like gods. Vampires are parasites. They rely on human blood for existence and that takes it away from humans who need it. They give nothing back. Why should either continue to exist?"

The thought almost turns my stomach.

"I don't like the fact that vampires have been killing mortals for thousands of years but I don't agree with the plan. There must be another way for both to exist without either vampires ruling us or preying on us."

"If there is, no one's found it. There are many who can't deny their predatory ways. They don't want to deny it. They love it."

I put my cup down. "They're the minority, and like any other psychopath they're the aberration and we have to deal with them the way we do with all killers – try to stop them, try to diminish the harm they are able to do. But to just wipe out the entire species…" I can't accept it.

"You're more generous than many," he says to me, his head tilted to one side.

"Do you deny what I say is true?"

He shakes his head.

"How do you effectively control them? That's the problem. They're a powerful group. Humans are powerful technologically, but even so, they haven't been able to completely control vampires. I don't know if they ever will be able."

"Well," I say and dangle my legs over the side of the bed. "I don't like it and I won't work for the Council if that's their endgame."

"So generous," he says, coming around to my side of the bed to help me up. "But can you avoid it? The Council created you, protected you, made you what you are. They have plans for you."

"You rejected those plans."

"Yes," he says. "Because I have power. Without me, you're powerless. Just a weapon without a hand to guide you."

"Then I need your help."

"Eve," he says and cups my face with his hand. "I went to all this trouble to keep you from this fate. Why do you think I'll help you meet it?"

I stand up on my own, pushing away his hand. "You'll help me because it's the only way you'll have me or my blood."

"I don't need your blood. Nor do I need you. Wanting you is entirely different."

I lean on the door to the bathroom. "If you want me, you'll have to help me or else imprison me and take me by force. And believe me, if you do that? You think I've been uncooperative? You've no idea."

I go into the bathroom and close the door. He stays outside.

"Call me if you feel faint."

"I'll be fine," I say. "Give me some privacy, please."

After a moment, I hear the door to my bedroom close. I lean down, my head in my hands. I was feeling somewhat faint but I have to get away from him for even a moment. He's been hovering over me like I'm going to die at any time and I can't even use the washroom without him standing outside.

I sit like that for a while, just trying to think straight without him there watching me. There's been no mental intrusions since I tried to block him out, and I wonder if I have to actually let him in consciously.

My plan is to recover my strength, and then meet with the Council and talk them into getting me the nanotechnology so I can use it to kill Soren. I'm not at all concerned on a moral level with destroying him. He wants to enslave all humans, have us as slaves to vampires
, with
him and other ancients as our rulers.
They would
longer fear the machinations of the Council and its rules and treaties.