Ash (33 page)

For the last forty-eight hours, she’d begun to fade. Her beautiful spirit diminished slowly.

Everyone who ever loved her spent those last moments with her.

I sat on the bed, her head gently resting on my chest, her warm hand on mine.

“I don’t know how to die, Ash,” she said. “Please tell me I’ll know when the time comes.”

I didn’t know how to answer her, so I kissed her head and said, “Don’t be afraid, honey. I’ll be here with you until the very end. I won’t leave your side.”

Jake sat at the foot of the bed, holding his Spider-Man figurine in his hands.

“Spidey will help you, Mommy,” he said, and made his little sound effects.

I blinked my tears away.

Connie chuckled. “Jake.” She struggled to speak. “Come kiss me.”

Jake crept along her legs until he nestled his face against hers. He pouted his lips and kissed his mother.

Connie could barely lift her hand, so I helped her rest it against his back.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you,” Jake replied, hugging her.

In the early hours of the first of May, Connie fell into a deep sleep and took her last breath. She had been more loved than anyone I’d ever known. She had been the very person to save me, and was now finally at rest. Free from pain, free from the illness that robbed her of her life.

I sat on the bed, holding her hand in mine.

Her head leaned to the side. She was pale and the warmth had left her body.

I didn’t know whether to cry, scream, or shout. I remained still. Forever changed. It dawned on me that all our struggles, all the pain, all the joy, was for a reason. She was finally reborn to an everlasting life without any of her earthly pain.

“Goodbye, baby,” I whispered, kissing the back of her hand, afraid of letting go.

Nevertheless, I had Jake. He needed my strength, and if anyone could mend my broken heart, it was our boy.

“I’ve a feeling you might need this,” she said as I let her in.

A part of me wanted to pull her into my arms and let my demons loose, but I refused myself the release. I had to suffer my penance in silence.

“You look terrible. What’s wrong? Has something happened?” Her warm eyes met mine.

I shook my head. “I’m fine. Honestly, but thanks for this.” I took the bottle from her. “I shall certainly need it.”

She followed me into the living room and looked around.

“Take a seat,” I said.

“Why are you in the dark?”

I shook my head. “Switch the light on, if you want.”

“Ash, what’s going on?”

“Does there have to be a reason for a man wanting to sit in the dark?” I snapped, and instantly regretted my tone.

“Listen, you asked me to come here, okay? So don’t try to be a wiseass with me, or I’ll walk away right now and leave you to wallow in whatever is going on with you.”

I held my head in shame. I was behaving like a complete prick.

“I’m sorry. It’s just been a tough day.”

“Then, talk to me,” she replied, and took my hand in hers.

“How about I pour us a glass each and we can talk.” I tried to smile.

She nodded and let go of my hand, turning toward the small table next to the sofa and switching on the lamp.

I went into the kitchen, grabbed two glasses, and caught my reflection in the window. I turned away in complete disgust.

As I sat down beside her, I filled the glasses and handed one to her.

“So, tell me,” she insisted.

“I’ve been thinking, and when I think, I get fucked up.”

“You’re lying to me.”

I looked at her. “How do you mean?”

“I may not know you like everyone else, but I know you well enough to notice a lie or two,” she said.

“I’m not lying. I revisited the past when I should have left it well alone.” I wasn’t being untruthful.

“Hmm. You’re a strange one, Ash.”

I chuckled. “You wouldn’t be the first one to say that to me.”

“And I suspect I won’t be the last.” She nudged my arm before taking a sip of the liquor.

“So, you’re leaving next week,” I remarked, changing the subject.

“Yes.” She sighed and rested her head against my shoulder. “I expect it will be hard.”

My stomach spun in a knot as I listened to her. I was being selfish, but I didn’t want her to go. She was like a lifeline for me, and I was afraid of the dark, slippery slope waiting for me once she was gone. It was stupid, and a little irrational, considering our relationship was so new. Sophia’s presence renewed me. She was my salvation after all the pain.

“Can’t I change your mind?” I was hitting a brick wall, but had to give it a shot.

She shook her head and closed her eyes. “No.”

“I thought I’d ask anyway.” I kissed her forehead.

When it came to Sophia, I relaxed and was able to feel like I could be myself. With other women, it was always so forced and clichéd. The fact that she was leaving left a bad taste in my mouth, but I had to suck it up and accept it.

“You’re not such a tough man, are you?” she remarked. “You’re a big softie with a huge heart. You just don’t like wearing it on your sleeve.”

I laughed. She had this way of pronouncing her words that sounded like music when she spoke.

“Big softie, huh?”

“Yes, because, you look like a serial killer.” She winked at me and laughed. “I’m only joking.”

“You’d better be, because you don’t want to test my patience tonight.” I gave her a coy smile.

“Oh, really? Is that a threat?”

“It depends on what way you look at it.”

Sophia set the glass down on the table. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Then, teach me a lesson I won’t forget.”

She was tempting me beyond comprehension.

“You don’t really mean that,” I muttered.

Sophia stood, pulled off her shirt, and slipped out of her jeans. Unhooking her bra, she threw it in my face.

I grinned and watched her playfully slide a hand down the front of her panties.

She stroked herself under the sheer fabric.

My cock twitched.
Fuck!
I burned with desire and listened to her soft moans.

“Do you want me to make myself come?” she purred.

I stared up at her. She was intoxicating, and I needed her release.

“Yes,” I replied. Nothing got me hotter than watching a sexy woman stroke herself to pleasure.

Her hand moved faster, her breathing labored. She bucked her hips forward, cupping a breast in her hand. Sophia hummed, a husky tone that had me holding my breath, anticipating the moment she climaxed.

“Ooooh . . . Ash,” she murmured. “I’m . . .” She held her breath, throwing her head back and gasping until she slowed her strokes.

“Fuck, you are sexy when you do that,” I muttered.

I reached forward, grabbed her ass, and kissed her stomach. I tugged on the waistband of her panties and pulled them down over her knees, helping her step out of them.

I stood and slowly walked around her, basking in the beauty of her naked splendor. She was everything I needed at that moment. Nothing else mattered. I paused behind her and trailed my fingers up and down her arms.

She responded by leaning back into my chest.

I smiled and bent down to her ear, gently biting her earlobe.

Sophia gasped.

“Tell me,” I whispered. “What is it you desire?”

“I want you to control me in every sense of the word.”

I spun her around to face me.

She focused on my groin and grinned when she saw the bulge straining against my jeans. Sophia reached for the belt, undoing it slowly.

“I want you to suck my cock, and when you make me come, don’t swallow it,” I ordered.

A huge smile appeared on her face. She nodded.

“Your command is final.” She winked at me.

Holy fuck!

I pulled my shirt off and threw it on the sofa.

Sophia teased me and unbuttoned my jeans. Sliding them down over my knees, she gazed up at me, her eyes full of want and need.

My lust mirrored hers. It was evident when my erection sprang out.

Sophia stuck her tongue out, gently licking the tip of my cock. The sensation of her wet tongue against my throbbing member had me weak at the knees. She jerked me with one hand as her mouth explored my balls.

A loud moan escaped my lips. The pleasure was unbearable, the kind that made me want to yank her head and fuck her mouth hard. I gritted my teeth, controlling my breathing, letting her work her magic.

Her lips moved away from my balls, and she licked my shaft. She worked her way up to the sensitive underside of my cock beneath the head, teasing me with long, slow licks. When she finally put her lips around the whole head, my knees jerked slightly. She continued fondling my balls with one hand and took the entire length of my hardness inside her mouth.

“Jesus Christ,” I muttered, taking a handful of her hair and pulling lightly.

Sophia swirled her tongue around under my cock, driving me crazy. She bobbed her head back and forth, slurping and moaning.

I was so close.

“Keep doing that.” I groaned, pushing my cock further down her throat.

She gagged and began to swallow me.

The intense pleasure of her mouth had me at tipping point. A few more minutes of the same action, and I was on the verge of shooting my load. The warmth in my balls tingled as if they couldn’t resist a moment longer. I held onto either side of her head, and the orgasm washed over me like a giant wave.

“Fuck yeah.” My hot semen shot into the back of her throat. She made little noises as she milked me, her daring eyes focused on me. “Don’t swallow, not until I say so.” I slipped out of her mouth.

Sophia closed her mouth shut, keeping my seed firmly in place.

Now, it was my turn to give her a little something.

I pulled her into my arms and carried her to the bedroom. Once inside, I set her on the bed, making sure she was comfortable.

“Open your legs,” I instructed.

She did as she was told and spread them as far as possible.

I bent down between her legs and gently kissed her inner thighs. I looked up and saw her gazing down at me, her pupils dilated, and her mouth still closed.

I smiled and clamped my lips around her pussy, licking her clit.

She groaned through her nose.

I was more than willing to control just how long she had to hold my cum in her mouth.

Her body trembled under my touch as I lapped at her sweet juices. My tongue darted in and out of her before I used two fingers to deepen the sensation.

She moaned the whole time, bucking her hips, pushing her pussy closer to my face.

I loved how she tasted. Sweet and musky, a perfect blend of her womanly beauty.

I stopped for a brief moment, raised my eyes, and said, “You can swallow now.”

She gulped down my salty contents and breathed in deep.

I returned my attention to her sopping mound. Licking, sucking, flicking my tongue inside her, over her lips, and clit.

She gripped the sheets beneath her and started shaking.

My cock grew hard listening to her sexy moans—deep and sultry.

“Yes,” she muttered.

I continued until she finally cried out, riding the orgasm as it crashed over her. I didn’t give her a moment to relish the sensation. I stood and pulled her to her feet, turning her around and parting her legs with my foot. I pushed her down so that she bent over the bed and thrust my cock inside her.

Sophia let out a surprised squeal.

I held her hips with one hand, slapping her ass with the other. I enjoyed hearing her sharp breaths, and groaned as I slapped her again. I fucked her, loving the hot, smooth moisture of her pussy as she tightened around me.

“Harder.” She moaned. “Fuck me harder.”

I gripped her hips, tugging her a little closer to me, and pounded deep inside.

She cried out, bouncing on my cock, driving me to the point I couldn’t hold back.

I gritted my teeth. My grip on her hips tightened.

“Oh, fuck,” I roared.

“Yes . . . Oh, yes . . . Come in me.” Sophia cried out.

The two of us climaxed together. The pulsing spasms of Sophia’s pussy milked my cock clean as ropes of semen shot deep inside her.

I remained hard for a few moments, and then relaxed my grip, letting out a long breath of complete satisfaction. I pulled her to me and kissed her, caressing the arch of her back.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“For what?”

“For being here.”

She smiled. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

I dreaded her leaving me and clung to her for dear life. Letting go was going to destroy me, but I was a big boy. I had to man up and be the Ash Benton everyone thought I was. I wasn’t about to let the world know that I was a broken man on the verge of destroying everything he loved.

Somehow, the truth would always come out. One way or another.