Assassin 3 - Royal Assassin (38 page)

I approached the window to stand beside Verity.
He still stared out over the water to the horizons. But I suddenly
understood his maps and why he created them. The network of lives
he had touched so briefly for me were as if he had opened his palm
to reveal he cupped a handful of priceless gems. People. His
people. It was not some rocky coast or rich pastureland that he
stood watch over. It was these folk, these bright glimpses of other
lives unlived by him, but cherished all the same. This was Verity's
kingdom. Geographical boundaries marked on parchment enclosed them
for him. For a moment I shared his bafflement that anyone could
wish harm on these people, and shared, too, his fierce
determination that not one more life should be lost to the
Red-Ships.

The world steadied around me, as vertigo
passing, and all was still in the tower top. Verity did not look at
me as he spoke. So. Hunting today.

I nodded, not caring that he did not see the
gesture. It didn't matter. Yes. The Forged ones are closer than we
suspected even.

Do you expect to fight them?

You told me to go prepared. I will try the
poison first.

But they may not be as eager to gobble it down.
Or they may still try to attack me. So I'm taking my blade, in
case.

So I surmised.. But take this one instead. He
lifted a sheathed sword from beside his chair and gave it into my
hands. For a moment I could only look at it. The leather was
fancifully tooled, the hilt had that beautiful simplicity possessed
by weapons and tools made by a master. At Verity's nod, I drew the
blade in his presence. The metal gleamed and shimmered, the
hammering and folding that had given it strength recalled as a
watery rippling of light down its length. I held it out and felt it
perch in my hand, weightless and waiting. It was a much finer sword
than my skill deserved. I should present it to you with pomp and
ceremony, of course. But I give it to you now, lest for the lack of
it you can't return later. During Winterfest, I might ask it back
of you so that I may present it to you properly.

I slipped it back into its sheath, then drew it
out, swift as an indrawn breath. I had never possessed anything so
finely made. I feel as if I should swear it to you or something, I
said awkwardly.

Verity permitted himself a smile. No doubt Regal
would require some such oath. As for me, I don't think a man need
swear his sword to me when he has already sworn me his
life.

Guilt assaulted me. I took my courage in both
hands. Verity, my prince. I go forth today to serve you as an
assassin.

Even Verity was taken aback. Direct words, he
mused guardedly.

It is time for direct words, I think. That is
how I serve you today. But my heart has grown weary of it. I have
sworn my life to you, as you say, and if you command it, so must I
continue. But I ask that you find for me another way to serve
you.

Verity was silent for what seemed a long time.
He rested his chin on his fist and sighed. Were it only I you were
sworn to, perhaps I could answer swiftly and simply. But I am only
king-in-waiting. This request must be made of your king. As must
your request to wed.

The silence in the room now grew very wide and
deep, making a distance between us. I could not break it. Verity
spoke at last. I showed you how to ward your dreams, FitzChivalry.
If you neglect to enclose your mind, you cannot blame others for
what you divulge.

I pushed down my anger and swallowed it. How
much? I asked coldly.

As little as possible, I assure you. I am well
used to guarding my own thoughts, less so to blocking out those of
others. Especially the thoughts of one as strongly, if erratically
Skilled, as yourself. I did not seek to be privy to your ...
assignation.

He was silent. I did not trust myself to speak.
It was not just that my own privacy had been so badly betrayed. But
Molly! How I was ever to explain this to Molly, I could not
imagine. Nor could I tolerate the idea of yet another silence
masking an unspoken lie between us. As always, Verity was as true
as his name. The carelessness had been mine. Verity was speaking,
very quietly.

Truth to tell, I envy you, boy. Were it my
choice, you should be wed today. If Shrewd denies you permission
today, hold this in your heart, and impart it to Lady Red-Skirts:
when I am king, you will be free to marry when and where you
choose. I will not do to you what was done to me.

I think then that I grasped all that had been
taken from Verity. It is one thing to sympathize with a man whose
wife was chosen for him. It is another to come from the bed of
one's beloved, and suddenly realize that a man you care for will
never know the fullness of what I had experienced with Molly. How
bitter must it have been to glimpse what Molly and I shared, and
what he must be forever denied.

Verity. Thank you, I told him.

He met my eyes briefly and gave me a wan
smile.

Well. I suppose. He hesitated. This is not a
promise, so do not take it as such. There may be something I can do
about the other as well. You might not have time to function as a
... diplomat, if you were given other duties. Duties more valuable
to us.

Such as? I asked cautiously.

My ships grow, day by day, taking shape under
their masters' hands. And again, I am denied what I most desire. I
will not be allowed to sail on them. There is much common sense to
that. Here, I am able to look out over all and direct all. Here, my
life is not risked to the violence of the Red-Ship pirates. Here, I
can coordinate the attacks of several vessels at once, and dispatch
aid where it is most needed. He cleared his throat. On the other
hand, I will not feel the wind or hear it snapping in the sail, and
I will never be allowed to fight the Raiders as I long to, with a
blade in my hand, killing swiftly and cleanly, taking blood for the
blood they have taken. Cold fury rode his features as he spoke.
After a moment's pause he went on more calmly. So. For those ships
to function best, there must be someone aboard each one who can at
least receive my information. Ideally, that one would also be able
to relay to me detailed information as to what is going on aboard
the ship. You have seen, this day, how I am limited. I can tell the
thoughts of certain folk, yes, but I cannot direct them as to what
they think about. Sometimes, I am able to find one more susceptible
to my Skill, and influence his thoughts. But this is not the same
thing as having a quick response to a direct question.

Have you ever considered sailing,
FitzChivalry?

To say I was taken aback would be an
understatement. I ... you have just reminded me that my ability
with the Skill is erratic, sir. And reminded me, yesterday, that in
a fight, I am more a brawler than a swordsman, despite Hod's
training-

And I now remind you that it is midwinter. There
are not many months until spring. I have told you it is a
possibility, no more than that. I will be able to give you only the
barest help with what you need to master by then. I am afraid it is
entirely up to you, FitzChivalry. Can you, by spring, learn to
control both your Skill and your blade?

As you said to me, my prince. I cannot promise,
but it will be my intention.

Fine. Verity looked at me steadily for a long
moment. Will you begin today
?”

Today? Today I have to hunt. I dare not neglect
that duty, even for this.

They need not exclude each other. Take me with
you, today.

I stared at him blankly for a moment, then
nodded assent. I had thought he would arise, to go and put on
winter clothes and fetch a sword. Instead, he reached out toward me
and took hold of my forearm.

As his presence flowed into me it was instinct
to struggle against him. This was not like other times when he had
shuffled through my thoughts as a man sorts scattered papers on a
desk. This was a true occupation of my mind. I had not been so
invaded since Galen had brutalized me. I tried to jerk free of his
grip, but it was like iron on my wrist. Everything paused. You have
to trust me. Do you? I stood sweating and shuddering like a horse
with a snake in its stall.

I don't know.

Think about it, he bade me. He withdrew a
trifle.

I could still sense him, waiting, but knew he
was holding himself apart from my thoughts. My mind raced
frantically. There were too many things to juggle. This was a thing
I must do if I wished to win myself free from a life as an
assassin. It was a chance to make all the secrets old secrets
rather than an ongoing exclusion of Molly and her trust. I had to
take it. But how could I do this, and keep secret from him
Nighteyes and all that we shared? I quested toward Nighteyes. Our
bond is a secret. I must keep it so. Today, then, I must hunt
alone. Do you understand?

No. It is stupid and dangerous. I shall be
there, but you may trust me to be unseen and unknowable.

What did you do, just then? It was Verity,
speaking aloud. His hand was on my wrist. I looked down into his
eyes. There was no harshness to his question. He asked it as I
might ask it of a small child found carving on the woodwork. I
stood frozen inside myself. I longed to unburden myself, to have
one person in the world who knew all about me, everything that I
was.

You already do, Nighteyes objected.

It was true. And I could not endanger him. You
must trust me, also, I found myself saying to my
king-in-waiting.

And when he remained looking up at me
consideringly, I asked, My prince. Do you?

Yes. With one word, he gave me his trust, and
with it his confidence that whatever I had been doing would not
bring him harm. It sounds a simple thing, but for a King-in-Waiting
to permit his own assassin to keep secrets from him was a
staggering act. Years ago, his father had bought my loyalty, with a
promise of food and shelter and education and a silver pin thrust
into my shirtfront. Verity's simple act of trust was suddenly more
to me than any of these things. The love I had always felt for him
suddenly knew no bounds. How could I not trust him?

He smiled sheepishly. You can Skill, when you've
heart to. With no more than that, he entered my mind again. As long
as his hand was on my wrist, the joining of thoughts was
effortless. I felt his curiosity and tinge of woe at looking down
at his own face through my eyes. A looking glass is kinder. I have
aged.

With him ensconced in my mind, it would have
been useless to deny the truth of what he said. So, it was a
necessary sacrifice
.
I
agreed.

He lifted his hand from my wrist. For a moment I
had dizzying double vision, looking at myself, looking at him, and
then it settled. He turned carefully to set his own eyes once more
on the horizon, and then sealed that vision from me. Without his
touch, this clasping of minds was a different thing. I left the
room slowly and went down the stairs as if I were balancing a
wineglass full to the brim. Exactly. And in both cases, it is
easier to do if you do not look at it and think about it so
heavily. Just carry.

I went down to the kitchens, where I ate a solid
breakfast and tried to behave normally. Verity was right. It was
easier to maintain our contact if I didn't focus on it. While
everyone there was busied at other tasks, I managed to slip a
plateful of biscuits into my carry sack. Going hunting? Cook asked
me as she turned about. I nodded.

Well, be careful. What are you going
after?

Wild boar, I improvised. Just to locate one, not
to attempt a kill today. I thought it might be a fine amusement
during Winterfest.

For who? Prince Verity? You won't budge him out
of the Keep, pet. Keeps too much to his rooms these days, he does,
and poor old King Shrewd hasn't taken a real meal with us in weeks.
I don't know why I keep cooking his favorites, when the tray comes
back as full as I sent it. Now, Prince Regal, he might go, long as
it didn't muss his curls. There was a general clucking of laughter
among the kitchen maids at that. My cheeks burned at Cook's
boldness. Steady. They don't know I'm here, boy. And naught of what
is said to you shall be held against them by me. Don't betray us
now. I sensed Verity's amusement, and also his concern. So I
permitted myself a grin, thanked Cook for the pasty she insisted I
take, and left the Keep kitchen.

Sooty was restive in her stall, more than eager
for an outing. Burrich passed by as I was saddling her. His dark
eyes took in my leathers and the tooled sheath and fine hilt of the
sword. He cleared his throat, but then stood silent. I had never
been able to decide exactly how much Burrich knew of my work. At
one time, in the Mountains, I had divulged my assassin's training
to him. But that had been before he took a blow on the head
attempting to protect me. When he recovered from it, he professed
to have lost the memories of the day that preceded it. But
sometimes I wondered. Perhaps it was his sage way of keeping a
secret a secret; that it could not be discussed even by those who
shared it. Be careful, he said at last, gruffly. Don't you let that
mare come to harm.

We'll be careful, I promised him, and then led
Sooty out past him.