Assumed Engagement (28 page)

"Are you inferring that she may run off with someone again of the likes of Wickham?"

"No, no. I do not believe that at all. But, she has confided in me that she has found the company of one young man, in particular, one of the hired hands at
Pemberley
, very pleasant."

"Who is it?" Darcy’s eyes darkened.

"I do not think that is important. What is important right now is that he is the only young man who is paying her attention. Once she comes out in society and begins meeting other young men of similar standing, it will lessen that chance that her affections will be directed in the wrong way."

He turned and looked at her. "She has told you all this?"

"Yes, that is why she wanted to talk with me today."

"She seems to confide in you. She talks easily with you."

"So it seems."

"I have often thought Georgiana needed someone she could confide in. I had hoped she would have had that in the person of Miss Annesley. She is an excellent teacher but I fear she has not turned out to be the confidant I had hoped for her."

"Yes, and without having a mother or a sister, she does not really have anyone with whom she can openly share."

"I believe she may be right about my wanting to put off bringing her into society. It is not because I feel she is still too young and immature. It is because I am afraid of what that will mean for her. There will be things she will begin to experience, feelings that I will not be able to talk with her about, questions that I will be unable to answer."

He stopped and turned to
Elizabeth
. "One thing I have greatly wished for Georgiana is to have someone a little older and wiser that she felt comfortable enough to confide in. She finds it difficult to confide in most people. She needs someone with whom she feels at ease openly sharing. I would even be willing to hire someone to come in and do that if I found the right person."

He stopped walking and turned toward her.
Elizabeth
suddenly felt great fear rising up inside her.
No! Please do not!

"Miss
Bennet
…"

"Mr. Darcy!"
Elizabeth
interjected frantically even before her name was completely out. She could not allow Darcy to formulate the question that was upon his lips. She knew that she had no reason to expect him ever to renew his address to her, but she could not allow him think of her now simply as a hired hand, a hired confidant for his sister. For her to have gone from being asked to be his wife, the mistress of
Pemberley
to now being a hired hand would be most distressing to her. Not that she would be unwilling to do it, but she did not want Mr. Darcy to view her from now on only in this way.

When she had cried out his name, he paused and waited for her to continue. When she did not, "Yes, Miss
Bennet
?"

What could she say now to him? How could she make it known to him that she harboured no ill feelings toward him any longer? Would it do any good?

"Mr. Darcy, I have a confession I must make to you."

"A confession?" This response caught him off guard.

"Yes." She turned from him and closed her eyes. Taking in a deep breath to calm herself, she proceeded. "Last night… at the dinner… I switched your place card."

"So it
was
you!" Now that he knew for certain that it had been her, he braced himself for her explanation.

Her eyes and lips tightened, feeling ashamed for what she had done, but she knew she must go on. She knew she must own up to the truth.

Darcy stood behind her, drawing ever so closely, wanting desperately to reach out and pull her back towards himself.

She turned toward him and laughed nervously when she found him so near. She hoped to make light of her impetuous action from the night before, but it did not help her excessive uneasiness. "It was very stupid of me, Sir. But I did it… I did it because I wanted to see your true character emerge."

"Pardon me, my true character?" He chuckled slightly from puzzlement.

"I know how you feel about my family, Mr. Darcy. I know how you behaved when you were here last. But last night you seemed to be too amiable with everyone and I felt that you would not be able to keep up that charade -- if indeed it was a charade -- if you were seated between my mother and Mr. Collins. At the time, I was unaware of what happened between you and your aunt, and so I had no idea that putting you next to Mr. Collins was the worst thing I could have done."

"So you were putting me to a test. Would that be a correct assessment?"

"Yes, and I am very sorry, indeed. It was wrong of me, Sir, and I apologize."

He lifted his eyes upward, and seemed to let out a breath that had been held for quite some time. With that breath being released, a smile came to his face and his eyes lit up.

Looking back down at her, he asked, "So did I pass your test, Miss
Bennet
?"

"Yes, you certainly did." She looked up at him with gratefulness in her eyes. "You were very gracious to my father
and
my mother. You were even cordial to Mr. Collins, however little he deserved it!" She laughed as she saw that he was accepting this very benevolently.

"Miss
Bennet
, let me tell you something. I do not claim to have patience with everyone. You mother may indeed push me to my limits. She has some eccentric ideas and becomes very passionate about some things according to the whim of the moment, but at least she does not have any evil intent in her motives or actions." As he said this, his eyes darkened. "My own aunt, on the other hand, can be very mean spirited. You may have heard Collins' remarks to the effect that I behaved rudely to her. I confess I did. But I do not regret my actions. I will not apologize for them. Not when she hurt my sister so deeply."

He went on to tell her the circumstances of his aunt's visit. "I still have a difficult time in certain people's company, not just from your family, but my own, as well. And Collins, well, he is just plain stupid." He paused, allowing himself to calm down. "I have to admit, however, that I had a little help last night on how to deal with your mother."

"You did?"

"Yes; the first was my sister. Georgiana advised me to watch others to see how they respond to your mother. So I did. Instead of turning away in frustration, I observed how others responded."

"Oh, you mean how they discreetly roll their eyes, put on a fake smile, and hope that she does not carry on much longer?"

Darcy laughed at her ability to make light of the situation. "Actually, it was observing Mrs. Gardiner that helped me. She had a way of responding to your mother calmly and very deliberately that really helped keep your mother more composed. Your aunt is quite a lady."

"Yes. I have often considered her as much my mother as my own mother is."

"There was one other response to your mother I observed, however, that I felt would be most prudent if I did
not
imitate myself."

"What was that?"

"It seems as though your father nudged her under the table with his knee when she became a little upset! It seemed to do the trick." He looked at her and smiled at her embarrassment. "But I did not feel as though I should behave in likewise manner."

"That is very wise of you, Sir."
Elizabeth
smiled at him and they both jointly broke into a hearty laugh. As they turned to walk back toward the house, they both independently realized what a turning point this moment had been between them. They just spent a good amount of time together and had carried on a civil, enjoyable conversation. Neither had gotten upset or misconstrued what the other said.

Darcy felt that much progress had been made. He was just not certain when the right time would be to approach her again with his feelings. Just the thought of it caused him great anxiety. He had a lot of stupid mistakes for which he had to make up. He knew she would most likely need time.

He was aware that he would see her later today as they went to the church to get things ready for the wedding. Later, there was also a small dinner party at
Netherfield
, although he most likely would not have the opportunity to see her alone and speak his heart. Tomorrow would be Jane and Bingley's wedding, so he would not do anything then, as that was to be their special day. That left Sunday; but would he be able to wait that long?

Chapter 18

    
E
lizabeth
watched as Darcy walked over and mounted his horse. When he was settled atop, he looked back at her, smiled, and brought his horse to a gallop, riding off. Her heart had not stopped pounding since she had first seen him atop the mount, and now she could only hope that for the next few hours she could regain what little composure she had left before she saw him once again.

As she entered the house, she hoped she could sneak in without anyone noticing. She was not in any mood to answer questions or to counter any suspicions that might have been aroused. She did not see anyone when she came in until she walked past the drawing room and found her aunt sitting there.

"Good morning,
Lizzy
. Or should I say afternoon? I imagine it is almost noon."

"Good morning Aunt. Where is everyone?"

"Jane left for
Netherfield
and will most likely go to the church from there. Your mother took both Kitty and
Lydia
into town to make some last minute purchases. I believe Mary is upstairs reading. And how has your morning been? You look as though you may have gotten a little too much sun."

Elizabeth
did not know whether the colouring her aunt noticed was due to the sun or her heightened feelings resulting from her encounter with Mr. Darcy. "Georgiana and I had a very nice walk up to
Oakham
Mount, and a very good talk, as well."

"I am glad. She certainly seems to enjoy your company." Mrs. Gardiner continued to watch her niece, as if waiting for her to continue.

Lizzy
had come to recognize that all-knowing look that her aunt gave her when she knew there was something left unsaid. "I imagine you saw me with Mr. Darcy."

"I did see you when the three of you returned from the walk, and then just now as he left."

"Georgiana asked me to speak with him about her wish that he begin to look upon her as a young lady, no longer as a girl."

"She asked
you
to speak with him about that?"

"Yes, partly because I am aware of some things of which most people are not aware."
Elizabeth
gave her aunt a smile. "And you will be happy to hear that I did apologize to him for switching his place card and I cleared up the reason for doing it."

"And how did he respond?"

"He seemed to accept it most graciously."

Her aunt nodded, again wearing that all knowing look on her face. "Well,
Elizabeth
, is there anything else we need to do before the wedding tomorrow?" she asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"I believe it is all taken care of. Everything is in good hands for the wedding breakfast here, so there is little for us to do now."

Elizabeth
decided she would go upstairs and freshen up, after her long walk. "If you will excuse me, I shall be up in my room."

She found great solace in her room, sitting at her dressing table, and looking at her reflection in the mirror. She could see that her face was flushed. She felt it was a combination of being out in the sun and her emotions.
What had happened out there?
Could she, in her wildest imagination believe that he still cared? Or was his attention to her based strictly on his love for his sister and desire for her to have companionship?

She looked at herself in the mirror, taking a finger and winding it around a curl. Why did it seem she always had more questions than answers when she came away from him? She sighed as she contemplated what this could possibly mean. Did she dare hope…?

Her mother and sisters returned a bit later, and by mid afternoon the house was in a frenzy as everyone tried to get ready to go to the church and then to
Netherfield
.
Elizabeth
could only imagine what tomorrow would be like. But she had too much excitement for her sister to let it plague her.

The
Bennets
and the Gardiners, who had also been kindly invited to the dinner, boarded their waiting carriages, and they set out for the church.
Elizabeth
was anxious to see Jane, as she had not seen her all day. She tried to keep her mind focused on Jane's prospective joy and excitement, and keep her own thoughts and feelings pushed down.

When they arrived at the church, Jane and Bingley were already there. Georgiana was at the piano, going over her music one last time. The minister and his wife were talking with Jane about some of the things that would be happening throughout the course of the ceremony. When he had finished, Jane turned and saw her family, and she ran up to
Lizzy
and hugged her. "Oh,
Lizzy
, I am sorry I missed you this morning. I understand that you had a nice walk with Miss Darcy."

"Yes, we had a very nice visit."

"Is everyone here that needs to be?" asked Mrs. Burrton, the minister's wife.

"Mr. Darcy is not here yet," spoke up Bingley. "But he shall be soon."

"Well, let us first discuss the seating arrangements."

Mrs. Burrton went up to Mrs.
Bennet
and Jane and talked with them about where family should be seated.
Elizabeth
stood nearby waiting, but found it to be quite stifling. It had turned out to be another very warm day, and there was very little air reaching the front of the church, even with the back doors open. While her mother and sister were busy with details, she thought she would quickly walk toward the back to get some fresh air. As she came to the wide open doors, she practically collided with Darcy who was rushing in.

She put her hands up to stop her forward motion and they came to rest upon his solid chest. She let out an "Oh!" and felt his hand reach around her arm to steady her.

"I am sorry, Miss
Bennet
. I was in such a hurry; I did not see you coming. Am I very late?" His hand stayed around her arm as he waited for her to answer. His lingering touch made it difficult for her to formulate an answer.

"No, the reverend is talking with Jane and my mother. I was going to get some fresh air back here. It is quite warm up front." Suddenly he realized he was still holding on to her and quickly let go, stepping back. He looked up towards the front of the church.

"I do hope it will not be as warm tomorrow. With all our formal attire, it could become quite unbearable."

Their time spent at the church preparing for the wedding went as well as could be expected, with Mrs.
Bennet
getting highly excited several times. She had many questions for the reverend Burrton or his wife, and Darcy watched again in admiration as Mrs. Gardiner gently calmed her nerves and helped her understand.

He did not have to worry about his response to her today, as he was standing up front beside his friend. And Miss
Bennet
was right. It was excessively warm there!

By the time they finished going over the different aspects of the ceremony,
Elizabeth
was eager to rush to the back. She had been standing up there for some time, and was feeling flushed and light-headed. As she quickly moved to the open doors of the church, Darcy was right behind her, wiping his forehead that had beaded with perspiration.

As she finally felt the slightest breeze move past her, she said, "I certainly hope that if it is this hot tomorrow we will be fortunate enough to have a little more breeze to help us out up front."

Georgiana quickly joined them and they all concurred that should tomorrow be as warm as it was today, the back doors should definitely be left open for the whole of the ceremony. The wedding would take place in late morning, but in the past few days, it had been warmer than usual even that early in the day.

Jane and Mr. Bingley joined them outside the church, and they went over the details on getting to Longbourn after the ceremony for the wedding breakfast.

It was decided that Jane and Bingley would greet the guests outside the church, ensuring that they all knew they were invited to Longbourn after the ceremony and to a ball at
Netherfield
later in the evening. In that way, if anyone could not attend, they would at least have been able to greet them. Darcy, Elizabeth and Georgiana would leave immediately in order to greet the guests who should arrive at Longbourn first. The remaining family would follow quickly behind.

When all these details were taken care of, Bingley announced to everyone that they should immediately proceed to
Netherfield
, as a meal had been prepared for them.

When they arrived, Bingley's sisters greeted them. Several of his relatives had arrived, and introductions were soon being made all around.
Elizabeth
walked in and saw how they had already begun to decorate for the ball. Ribbons and lace accented the rooms, and fresh flowers had been put out. Everything looked beautiful.

Elizabeth
made the acquaintance of two young ladies who turned out to be Bingley's cousins from the north. One was probably a little older and the other a little younger than herself. She was pleased to find them both very amiable and jovial, very much like Bingley himself, as opposed to his sisters.

From there she aimlessly wandered into the dining room which was set up for this evening's meal. She walked over to the tables and saw that they had set place cards out for everyone. Out of curiosity, she walked around to see where she was to be seated.

"You are not planning on changing the place cards again, are you Miss
Bennet
?"

Elizabeth
felt warmth rise up her face as she recognized Mr. Darcy's voice from behind her. She slowly turned and smiled, "No, Sir. I was merely seeking out my own place."

He walked over to the end of the table and pointed to her place. "You are to be seated here, Miss
Bennet
. But I must warn you, I am seated across from you, unless of course, you choose to move me. But this time I shall know immediately it was you and I might protest."

"You need not fear, Sir. I have no intention of moving you or anyone else."

"I am glad to hear that. Shall we go back, then, and join the others?" He brought his hand up to her arm and gently propelled her toward the door.

Bingley's two cousins noticed her come out with Darcy and immediately came up to her, requesting an introduction.
Elizabeth
was amused by their very obvious interest in this tall, dark, and handsome man. She also noticed that he responded to them in a very guarded way. He actually looked uncomfortable. A rather amusing thought came to her.
Could he be shy?

She stood back slightly, observing his look of… what was it? Feeling trapped with no way out? Wishing he were anywhere else but here?

The girls continued speaking politely to him, smiling warmly, and batting their eyes at him. At one point he looked at
Elizabeth
as if seeking her help in the situation, but she was having too much fun watching it to be of any assistance.

When Bingley announced the meal was about to be served and everyone should proceed to the dining room, Darcy was grateful for this excuse to leave his two admirers. He moved quickly to
Elizabeth
's side and in a mockingly severe voice said, "Thank you, Madam, for your help out there."

"What would you have me to do? You seemed to be doing just fine. At least they thought so." She looked up at him and laughed.

As they made their way to the table, Georgiana, who was to be seated by her brother, joined them. She seemed to be of very good spirits, and
Elizabeth
wondered whether she had talked with him about their conversation. To the left of her were her sisters and the Gardiners were across from her on the other side of Darcy.