Astra (13 page)

Lily watched them go, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.
If only I could be riding Astra and trotting beside Meloney right now
, she thought wistfully. Devin punched her playfully in the arm. “Come on, Lily. We've got work to do.”

“Okay.” Lily took one last, longing look at the horses as they rode away, then followed Devin back to camp. Someday she'd be right out there with the rest of them. But for now she had a lot to learn about endurance training and racing. When the time came for Astra to race, whether she or one of her friends were riding, she wanted to be prepared.

No matter what, Lily was determined to fight for her mother's dream of making Astra a national champion.

Fifteen

Lily woke with a start late that afternoon when the truck and trailer pulled into the Henleys' driveway. The race day had been a big success. Her friends had all finished in the middle of the pack, with a time of just under eight hours. Sharon had placed in the Top Ten.

She climbed out of the truck feeling happy but tired. It took an hour to get all the horses bathed, groomed, and put away. She thanked Mr. Henley for letting her help, then waved good-bye and rode her bike home. It was almost dark.

On the way, Lily thought about Devin. They'd had a good day working and hanging out together. Devin had been a big help explaining what he knew about training his horse, and offering pointers he'd picked up from other successful trainers. He'd offered to ride Astra once a week and pony the mare when he and Meloney rode with the Henleys. Lily knew that was a lot of extra work. She realized that he might not be able to continue if it proved to be too much.

She pulled into her driveway and parked the bike, making a beeline straight for the small pasture to see Astra. The mare lifted her head and whinnied. “Hey, girl.” Lily waved a carrot she'd saved from the Henleys' stash. Astra kicked up her heels and raced across the pasture, doing a sliding stop when she neared the fence. The beautiful gray bobbed her head and stretched her lips for the treat.

Lily laughed. “You're such a clown!” Grabbing the bucket brush, she entered the pasture. She gave Astra a good grooming and told her about the day's events. “And tomorrow, I'm going to take you out for a quick jog to warm you up, and then Devin is going to come over and take you for a ride.” Astra blew through her lips, covering Lily with horse slobber and pieces of grass.

“Yuck!” Lily said. “This is the thanks I get for trying to make you a champion?” She hugged the mare and climbed back through the fence. She was so tired that she decided to skip dinner and go straight to bed.

The next morning, Lily woke before the alarm went off. It was Sunday, the day Devin would take Astra for a ride and the real training would begin! She quickly pulled on her jeans and shirt and went to the kitchen to grab a quick bite before heading to the barn.

“Shhhh. Your father is still sleeping,” Grams said. “There's a warm cinnamon bun and a glass of orange juice for you on the counter.”

Lily raised an eyebrow. “Homemade?”

“But of course!” Grams chuckled. “Only the best for my favorite granddaughter.” She kissed Lily on top of the head.

“Grams.” Lily feigned an exasperated look. “I'm your
only
granddaughter.”

“Ah, but you're still my favorite,” Grams said.

“Thanks for breakfast,” Lily said between bites of the gooey treat. She washed her hands and headed for the back door. “Today's a big day for Astra. Devin's coming by to ride her, but first I'm going to take her out for a short jog to warm her up. I'll be back in after they're gone.”

Astra greeted Lily as soon as she opened the door to the barn. “Yeah,” she teased. “Your feedbag on legs is here to serve you.” She put a scoop of grain and some vitamins in a bucket and grabbed a couple of brushes so she could groom the mare while she ate her morning oats.

When she finished brushing Astra, Lily poked around the barn, picking up odds and ends of boards that she and her dad had cut to build the fence. They could use them for firewood next winter. In her efforts to clean up, she came across a blanket-covered pile in the corner. It had been hidden from view by an old stack of leftover boards. The blankets were so dusty and cobwebbed that they blended in with all the other grimy items in the old barn.

Curiosity got the best of her and she lifted a corner of the dirty blanket.
Leather
. Hmmm. Lily lifted the blanket higher and was surprised to see her mother's endurance saddle perched on an old saddle rack. It was covered with dust, but otherwise it seemed to be in the same shape it had been in when her mom last used it.

For a moment, Lily choked up. She lovingly ran her hand across the pommel and stirrup leathers. Her mother had ridden many miles and won a lot of races in this saddle. A tear ran down Lily's cheek and splashed on the saddle, mixing with the dust to create a miniature mud puddle.

She brushed a sleeve across her eyes. Her mom had spent happy times in this saddle. She wouldn't want Lily to cry and be sad over it. Then Lily brightened as another thought occurred to her. This saddle had been used on Astra.

Lily swept away the blanket and pulled the saddle from the rack. A quick dusting was all it needed, and she could put it on Astra to go for their jog. Devin could use it to ride so he wouldn't have to lug his own saddle back and forth. He was doing her a huge favor. She wanted to make things as easy as possible for him.

She carried the saddle to Astra's stall and the mare sniffed it curiously. “Do you recognize this?” She placed the saddle just outside the stall door and went back to look for the saddle pad that went with it. It lay in the corner, along with a bridle, also covered with dust. But a couple of good shakes and a few sneezes later, both items were good to go.

“Here we are.” Lily entered the stall and placed the saddle pad high on Astra's withers, pulling it back into place so all the hairs under it ran the same direction. She adjusted the saddle on the mare's back and tightened the girth. Astra flicked her ears and stomped her hoof.

“Hey, lady, don't sass me,” Lily scolded as she slowly pulled the girth a little tighter. Next she put on the bridle, then stood back to admire Astra in the newly discovered tack. “Perfect!” she said. “Now let's go for a jog.”

Lily led Astra from the barn. The sun shone brightly and warmed her face. The weatherman had predicted temperatures in the high seventies today. In just a little over a month, school would be out. She couldn't wait. Then it would be horses, horses, horses, all hot summer long!

She stopped to check the girth again and figure out a way to keep the stirrups from banging Astra's sides when they jogged. A strangled sound startled her and she whipped around to see what it was.

Lily felt the color drain from her face when she saw her father standing there, his jaw clenched.

“What do you think you're doing?” her father shouted. “I told you that you were forbidden to ride, and you sneak around when you think I'm asleep and do it anyway!”

Lily felt her mouth working, but no sound came out. She wasn't planning to ride Astra! She'd only wanted to use her mother's tack to remember her by, and make things easier for Devin. “D-dad…,” she managed to squeak out. “You've got it all wrong.”

“Do I?” He stomped forward and snatched the reins from her hands. “It looks to me like you've got a horse ready to ride, and I caught you right before you mounted up.” He shook his head, the anger seeming to flow out of him into a pool of misery. “I expected better of you, Lily.”

Lily tried to form whole sentences but the words wouldn't comply. “Dad…I…you've got it…wrong!”

“Go to your room,” her father said, his voice full of hurt. “You're grounded for two weeks. No horses, no friends. Maybe next time, you'll think twice before you disobey.”

Lily stood rooted to the ground, watching her father walk Astra to the barn. She wanted to rail and scream at his retreating back. He didn't understand! He had wrongly accused her. And now she was being punished for no reason. She felt sick to her stomach, like she was going to faint or throw up—maybe both. No horses or friends for two weeks! What would Devin think when he came to ride Astra and she wasn't even allowed to talk to him?

She thought about quickly phoning Meloney, but if her dad came in and caught her on the phone after laying down the law, she'd be grounded for the rest of her life.

It was so unfair!

A loud sob escaped her throat and she tore from the spot, running to the house as fast as her jelly legs would carry her. She stumbled going up the steps and banged open the door, scaring her grandmother half to death. Lily wanted to apologize, but she was crying so hard, no words would come out. She sprinted down the hallway and slammed the door shut.

Climbing into her bed, she pulled the pillow over her head and let loose with the sobs. She heard the door creak open and her grandmother's soft voice asking what had happened. “Not now, Grams,” she sniffed, then felt twice as bad for turning her grandma away. Maybe her father was right. Maybe she was just a rotten person.

Sixteen

Lily didn't know how long she lay there, but by the time she stirred it was dark outside and her throat was sore and scratchy. Her eyes felt as if they had cotton stuffed under the lids. A soft knock sounded on the door, and her grandmother pushed it open, letting the hallway light spill into the darkness of the room.

“Lily?” Grams stepped inside carrying a tray with two cups of warm cocoa. It had been a family tradition for years. When one of them was sad, the other brought hot cocoa and a sympathetic ear.

Lily pushed herself up to rest against the headboard and waited for her grandmother to sit on the edge of the bed. “I'm really sorry I yelled at you earlier.” She felt miserable all over again, but she didn't have any tears left to cry.

Grams set the cocoa on the nightstand and climbed onto the bed, folding her in a big hug. Lily leaned into it, taking great comfort in the love and support. Her mother used to do this for her. At times like this, she missed her mom more than ever.

“The house is really quiet,” Lily said, sniffing. Usually the television was blaring at all times of the day. Her grandmother liked to watch her soap operas during the day, and her dad turned on the sports and news channels at night.

Grams brushed the hair off Lily's face, then reached for one of the steaming mugs, handing it to Lily. “Your father took to the den not long after you went to your room. And he hasn't come out yet.”

“Really?” Lily took a sip of the sweet chocolate with marshmallows. It coated her throat and made it feel better. She took another sip, then turned to her grandma. “Grams, I didn't ride Astra, and I wasn't planning to. Dad got it all wrong. He wouldn't even listen to me. It was horrible!”

Grams nodded. “I know, dear, but he knows now. Devin showed up to ride Astra and came to the door looking for you. Your father heard my entire conversation with that young man. That's when he went into the den to be by himself.”

Lily blanched. “So Devin knows what happened?”

“No, honey, I told him that you didn't feel well, which was the honest truth. I said I was sure you'd call him later to reschedule.”

“Thanks, Grams.”

Her grandmother nodded wisely. “There's no reason for him to know your business unless you want him to.”

Lily bit her lip. “So why is Dad in his study? I'm the one who's grounded.”

“I think he's feeling pretty poorly about what happened,” Grams answered. “He needs some quiet time to think things through.”

“He's been thinking all day?” Lily said.

Grams nodded. “I'm afraid so. He's got a lot of things on his mind that he needs to sort through.” She patted Lily's shoulder. “I have faith in your father. He'll figure this situation out.”

Lily hoped she could figure things out, too. There were so many things she wanted to say to him.

Another light tap sounded on the door. Lily looked up, surprised to see her dad standing in the doorway. He looked terrible. His hair stood on end and stubble darkened his chin and cheeks. She briefly wondered about her own appearance and reached up to smooth her hair.

“Can I trade places with you?” he asked his mother.

Grams set her cocoa down and eased off the bed. She gave Lily an I-told-you-so wink on her way out the door.

Her father made his way over and sat on the corner of the bed. He was silent for a while and Lily wondered if he planned to say anything. She opened her mouth to speak, but he raised his finger to his lips in a plea for silence. “I owe you an apology,” her father said. “For many things.”

Lily raised her brows.

Mr. O'Neil ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “First, I owe you an apology for doubting you today. I now understand that you only saddled Astra for your friend to ride.” He paused again, as if trying to gather his thoughts. “But mostly, I apologize for not recognizing how important all of this horse stuff is to you…just like it was for your mother.”

Lily sat perfectly still, afraid that if she moved it would break his concentration and he wouldn't finish what he had to say. She knew how difficult this talk must be for him.

“Sometimes I forget that you're not a little girl anymore.” He smiled sadly. “In a few more years, you'll be driving a car. You're old enough now to start forming an idea of who you're going to be when you grow up, and to have hopes and dreams for yourself. Your mother would want you to follow those dreams.”

He shifted uncomfortably. “This past year has been very difficult for me. Losing your mother was almost too much to bear. But I knew I had to hang in there for you. I tried to protect you. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you, too. But seeing how unhappy not being able to ride has made you…” He bent forward, his head down.