Asylum (2 page)

            Chloe
felt the panic crawling up from the pit of her stomach.

            You’re
not supposed to be here.  You weren’t accepted. It’s the wrong room. You were
sent to the wrong place. There’s no space for you here.  You aren’t wanted!
  

            “Maybe
it‘s the wrong room,” she whispered.

            “Chloe?”
came a voice from behind.

            Chloe
turned to see a girl with short, bleached blonde hair standing in the doorway
holding a laundry basket.

            “Are
you Chloe Adams?” the girl repeated her question with an expectant smile, and a
quick appraising glance toward Seth.

            “Yeah,
I’m- I was, I’m supposed to be here, I think,” Chloe fumbled.

            “Oh
my God, yeah, of course!  I am so sorry.  I’m Sam. Hey look, I thought you
weren’t coming.  The
R.A
. said--” she paused and threw Seth an
accusatory glance, “that every year there are some kids that don’t show up, so
I had him help me put the other bed in storage. I was gonna put a futon there.”

            “In
storage?”  Chloe repeated. 

            She
doesn’t want you, doesn’t want a roommate, where you going now? No one wants
you.

            “I
can get it back up here in a matter of minutes” Seth offered. “The storage room
is in the basement.  Just let me grab the key and get rid of this bag.”

            He
left Chloe alone with Samantha J. Klingeman… Sam, actually, just Sam.

            “I- 
He‘s the R.A.?” Chloe asked.

            “Yes,
and in case you’re wondering we did get lucky.  Being super hot is not
generally in their job description. R.A. might mean ‘Resident Advisor’ to some
people, but looking at him all I can think of is ‘Righteous Abs‘.  Wait til the
next time the boys have a game of flag football in the square and pray that
he’s on team skins…you’ll see what I mean.  I hope if we get a noise violation
he hands out spankings.” Sam grinned wickedly.

            “Heh,”
Chloe laughed.

            “Anyways,
what were we saying? About the futon?  I’d way rather have a roommate than a
futon.  Seriously, I don’t know anyone!  I was actually kind of bummed when you
didn’t show.  So this is a good thing.”

            Chloe
nodded, even though she suspected Sam of trying to be nice.  She dropped her
bag on the empty side of the room, and tried to think of a way she could make
up for the absence of a futon . 

            “I
brought a microwave,” she offered.

            “That’s
awesome.  I have a mini-fridge and a microwave, but I didn’t bring either
because they wouldn’t fit in my car, and my parents are coming back with a
bunch of stuff I left tonight anyway.  I’ll just tell them to forget about the
microwave.  I was originally thinking about putting it on the window ledge--see
how wide it is?  But then I thought maybe some cool plants, and then hang this
bead curtain I have as, like, faux window curtains, but then this girl Jen from
down the hall has a blacklight, and she took a bunch of vodka bottles and
filled them with different colored highlighter fluid and water so that at night
when you turn on the blacklight…it looks so cool.  And I was kind of thinking
about doing that, but I don’t know.  I don’t want to seem like I’m copying her
or anything.  You know what I mean?”

            “Uh-huh”
Chloe agreed, relaxing as she realized Sam was one of those lucky people who
enjoyed talking.

            “Well…can
I give you a hand bringing your stuff in?  You noticed there’s no elevator,
right?  This is the only Hall that’s, like, stuck in the middle ages.  Are your
parents downstairs?”

            “No,”
Chloe said.  A moment of silence followed, in which it seemed to Chloe that her
new roommate was waiting for her to explain why her parents weren’t there.  Why
she was probably the only freshman whose parents weren’t dropping her off and
helping her to unpack.

            “Oooooookay,
let’s go!  Where did ya park?” Sam offered brightly, tossing her empty laundry
basket on the bed.

            Contrary
to her assertion that she ‘didn‘t know anyone‘, Sam talked all the way to the
car about almost every person who lived on their floor.  There was a boy who’s
room smelled like cheese, two girls from out-of-state, another girl who’s
boyfriend looked like a Neanderthal, and a couple of ’super hot’ guys all
within a few doors from them.  Chloe was able to get by easily, nodding her
head and mumbling “oh, really” or “wow” at appropriate intervals.   

            At
the car door, she paused and realized that she should have warned Sam about how
big and heavy the microwave actually was.

            “The,
uhhhhh, microwave is a little old, but it works,” she said apologetically.  Sam
bent down to take a look, then straightened her back, and fixed Chloe with a
very serious expression.

            “Chloe…that’s
not a microwave.  It’s a time machine.  If we tried to use it, we might end up
in 1985.”

            Chloe’s
laugh was real.

            “Okay,
leave this beast right here.  We’ll have my parents bring the fridge and the
microwave.  Don’t suppose you have a hot plate…no? That’s okay.”

            Sam
continued talking as she grabbed a pile of clothes, and headed back to the
dorm.  Chloe grabbed her books and hurried to catch up. 

            The
garage sale she had bought up on her way into town had been a godsend.  All the
clothes, along with the microwave, and a few boxes of strange trinket-like
things--which made her belongings seem more personal-- had passed inspection. 
Her roommate hadn’t suspected anything amiss.

            “-as
if the building wasn’t creepy enough, they’ve gotta tell stories like that, I
think they’re trying to scare freshman and I said to-”

            “Wait.
What?” Chloe realized she hadn’t been paying attention.

            “What? 
Are you zoning out already? Wait until classes start at least, I was saying
to-”

            “I
thought you were going to wait for me to get the key to storage,” Seth said,
putting a hand under Chloe’s stack of books and lifting them away from her. 
She jumped at how close he suddenly was.  She didn’t even see where he had come
from.

            “Uhhh…okay,
I’ll just…uhhh.” Chloe said, glancing toward Sam who was still walking, “I’ll
go back to the car and get some more clothes then…I guess.”

            She
hurried away without looking back at Sam or Seth.  Was that what she was
supposed to do?  Or was she supposed to follow behind them carrying nothing? 
Was he going to stand there and wait for her to come back? 

            By
the time she had run to the car, snatched up another pile of clothes, and ran back
to the steps, Sam was gone.  But Seth was still there…holding the books,
waiting for her.

            “Hi,”
Chloe said cringing immediately.  They had already done the hellos.

            “Hi,”
he grinned, and fell into step behind her.  “So…you took your time getting here. 
The semester starts tomorrow.”

            “I…it…yeah,”
she agreed.

            “You
shy or something?”

            She
glanced over her shoulder to see that he was still grinning at her. 

            “No…I
mean…yeah, a little…maybe.”

            “That’s
alright.  I think shy is cute.”

            It’s
flirting, she thought, he’s flirting with me like I’m a normal college girl. 
If I were, I would know what to say back.  I would say something sharp or
funny, but smile while I said it.  I’ve seen it on TV, I know how it works. 
But I’m not quick enough and now, if he didn’t figure it out before, he has. 
He knows something’s wrong with me.  Chloe chanced another furtive glance in
Seth’s direction.  He was, inexplicably, still smiling.

            Back
in the room, Sam had already hung a load of clothes on Chloe’s side of the closet. 
She was on the phone, and waved the two of them in impatiently.  Covering the
mouthpiece she whispered: “It’s my mom.  I’m gonna be a minute, go get the bed
with Seth, and I can help you finish unloading your car when I get rid of her,
okay?” 

            When
Seth turned his back to drop the books, Sam gave Chloe an exaggerated wink and
a discreet thumbs up. 

            Chloe
had begun to like Sam, now she wondered if the girl was insane.  She gave Sam
what she hoped was a pleading look, but her roommate had already turned away.

            “You
know what? I dropped my bag off and completely forgot to grab the storage key.
Let me go get it and--”

            “and
I’ll meet you down there,” Chloe finished for him, and almost tripped in her
haste to get away.  She didn’t look, but she had the feeling that he was
standing in the doorway, watching her hurry towards the stairs.

            A
few minutes later, she wished she had waited for him.  The basement seemed like
an afterthought compared to the rest of the building.  Hallways were narrow,
dimly-lit, and branched off when you least expected them to.  Almost like a
system of tunnels, except for the fact that there were so many doors.  Doors
everywhere, ranging along both walls without any kind of regular spacing.  She
had no idea where storage might be, and, after walking awhile, she wasn’t even
sure she could find her way back to the stairwell. 

            Chloe
glanced down the hallway in the direction she had come from.  Which one was the
door to the stairwell?  They all looked the same.  Tall, narrow, wooden, old…and
the farther she walked, the more disoriented she felt.  There should have been
an exit sign…wasn’t that part of building code?

            She
grabbed the handle of the door nearest her and twisted.  Locked.  And the
next…locked.  And the next…locked.  What if the door to the stairwell locked
automatically behind her? 

            She
should stay where she was.  Seth was supposed to be right down.  He wouldn’t be
too long.  Unless he forgot.  Unless he had something else come up.  He might
be on his way and run into friends or something.  He wouldn’t even have to
forget, he’d just assume that she wouldn’t wait around for him, wouldn’t he?

            The
hallway seemed to constrict around her. 
Stop it!
she ordered herself,
but her legs wouldn’t obey.  They walked faster, regardless, and when she
realized that she was feeling the beginning pains of real panic, they broke
into a run, stopping only long enough for her to grab each of the doorknobs as
she flew by, trying to find one unlocked. If only there were a window!  It was
getting harder to breathe.

            “STOP,”
she told herself.

            And
she did.  She froze in the middle of the hallway, breathing heavily.

            Calm
down, she advised herself.  Calm down and think logically.  You won’t be stuck
down here forever, someone will realize you’re gone.  Your roommate Sam, that
guy, Seth, they both know you’re down here.  If you don’t come back…someone
will come looking for you.

            She
took a deep breath and blew out slowly, to steady herself.  It was a technique
she had learned recently.  Feeling better, she kept still and listened.  In a
dormitory, full of hundreds of student bodies, she should hear something. 
Maybe people moving around above her.  Maybe even feet coming down the stairs.

            There
was only the buzz of dreary florescent light bulbs close overhead.  Nothing
else, not even…but no she was wrong.  There was something else.  Something very
faint.  A breeze, a small stream of air, a breath, maybe…maybe a whisper.

            Chloe
balled her hands into fists and started to hum a made-up tune.  It was air, or
water moving through a pipe, or it was her imagination.  Every nerve tensed in
her frozen body.  She could still hear it, even while humming.  A whisper… a
hiss
.

            ‘
Chloe,”
it breathed.

            “No,”
Chloe said aloud, shaking her head. “Not real.  You’re definitely imagining
it.  Not real at all”.  This was a left-over from her old childhood strategies,
be louder than
it
was.  It couldn’t get you if you couldn’t hear it.

            Above
her, the florescent bulb buzzed steadily and then pinged and flickered.  Chloe
jumped.  Walk, she decided, walk quickly, but not like you’re afraid.  It
doesn’t matter where.  Walk away.

           
So she walked,
but inside she knew she was doing it for show, pretending to appear
unconcerned, pretending for someone.  The whisper didn’t disappear.  It was
growing louder now, all around her.

            Chloe
, it called. 

            She
had trained herself for this, to deal with these sorts of things.  It didn’t
sound like the old voice, the one she learned had always come from inside.  She
could have sworn this time that it came from outside--that anyone could hear
it--but she was so easily fooled.  Not this time, not on the first day of her
new life.  She wasn’t going back to all that.