At a Time Like This (30 page)

‘Ah, shite, Georgie, the electricity must be off. Just our luck.’

‘Is that your builder?’

‘Yeah. You keep the lights going and I’ll get out and talk to him.’

He was beside the passenger door by the time I had my seat-belt unfastened. ‘What’s up, Anthony?’ I tried to keep my tone light but I was finding it hard to hide my
disappointment.

‘’Evening, Maggie. Electricity went earlier this afternoon. I’ve put in a call, and they’ve promised to send someone.’

I tried to read his expression. ‘Do you think they will?’

He grinned at me. ‘Well, I think so. It’s not just you, you know. It’s the other cottages around here as well.’

‘Do you think we’ll be able to stay tonight?’

‘Why not? Sure, haven’t you enough wood for a fire? And O’Callaghan’s is still open. I can nip down and get you some briquettes and candles, if you like.’

At that moment, Georgie spoke. ‘Come on, Maggie,’ she said, ‘where’s your frontierswoman spirit?’

I gestured towards the driver’s seat. Anthony, meet my friend, Georgie. Georgie, Anthony’

Anthony walked around the car and they shook hands through the window.

‘We’ll go,’ I said. ‘Maybe it’d be better if you stayed here? In case the repair man arrives?’

He nodded. ‘Sure thing. A torch might be a good idea, too.’

‘Okay, then, we’ll see you later. Do you need anything?’

He patted his pockets. ‘Matches wouldn’t go astray. I’ve just used up the last of them.’

I got back into the car. ‘Okay, Georgie, let’s go. Back down the way we came from.’

Georgie reversed and then pointed the car back in the direction of the main road. All neat, economical movements. She said nothing for a few minutes. Then, her voice quiet, mocking, she said:
‘How come you’ve kept him such a secret?’

I looked at her, surprised. ‘Who, Anthony?’

‘Yes, “Who, Anthony”. He’s a very attractive man, or hadn’t you noticed?’

I sighed. Always the same, even when we were students. No, especially when we were students. And I’m sure at times in between then and now, although Georgie would never have told me if
she’d had adventures. She’s always been discreet, knowing as she does the way I feel about Ray playing away from home. ‘He’s a very nice man—’

But she wouldn’t let me finish. Ah-ah,’ she said, voicing her disapproval. Her tone was stern. ‘We banned “nice” more than twenty-five years ago, don’t you
remember?’

I did indeed. ‘Okay, he’s kind and obliging and at least fifteen years older than I am. He’s been very good to me but I am not interested. I’m also still married and
I’m not interested. Right?’

‘Right.’ A pause. And is
he
married?’

I gave up. ‘No, his wife died five years ago. The building and renovation firm is his son’s business.’ I listed things like a litany, ticking them off on my fingers. ‘He
doesn’t work because he has to, he works because he wants to. He’s got one son and two daughters. He lives about twenty miles away. Enough? And I’m
still not
interested,
right?’

Georgie gave me a sidelong glance. I could see her turn, even though I kept looking straight ahead.

‘Okay, then,’ she said. We drove in silence for a few minutes more. ‘Seeing as how you’re not going to give me directions, I presume that this is the
O’Callaghan’s Anthony mentioned?’ She pulled up outside the door.

‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Thanks. I’ll be out in a minute.’ I closed the door, harder than I intended. I was surprised at myself, letting Georgie rattle me like that. I just
want to be left alone, I told myself as I walked up and down the shop’s tiny aisles. Just left alone.

By the time we got back to the cottage, the repair truck was outside. My spirits lifted. ‘Great!’ I said to Georgie. ‘Look!’

Anthony came towards us. ‘Should take another hour or so. The fault is at the bottom of the road. It was flooded a couple of days ago.’ He opened the door for me. ‘Can I help
you ladies in with anything? I found a torch in the van.’

I could feel Georgie’s smile broadening. I was about to decline, to insist that she and I would go off for a drink and come back later, once everything was fixed, but she got there before
me.

‘That would be great, Anthony, thanks. If you and Maggie unload, I’ll take care of lighting the candles. I can’t wait to see inside. Maggie’s told me what a lovely job
you’ve done.’

I said nothing. I was just glad of the power cut. It meant no one could see my face.

As it happened, it took until nine o’clock to fix the fault. By then, the three of us were sitting around a turf fire, sharing a companionable bottle of wine. We’d
emptied the car and Anthony offered to bring in the wood and briquettes from the shed and light the fire. I said yes. Georgie found her way around the kitchen, exclaiming at all the lovely things
her candles illuminated. That helped to restore my good humour. That, and the dishes she had filled with nuts and pretzels. I was starving. I couldn’t help thinking of the steaks in the
freezer and fretted about them spoiling if the electricity stayed off too long.

Anthony and I had just finished telling Georgie about the setbacks in the renovation project, the delays, the problems caused by the discovery of an old well, when the lights came back on. The
three of us sat, blinking at each other in the glare. It was as though a photographer’s flash bulb had gone off. I was left with a vivid impression of Anthony’s handsome face, his shock
of dark hair threaded with grey, his large hands. Then the moment passed and we all stood up together, as though the lights had thrown a switch inside us as well, forcing us upwards and
forwards.

‘Oh, Maggie, this really is a picture!’ Georgie’s enthusiasm was genuine. She was looking around her, taking in details.

Anthony took that as his cue to leave. ‘I’ll let you ladies finish your grand tour in peace,’ he said. ‘But I might drop by tomorrow morning with more supports for the
trellis, if that suited?’

‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘that would be fine. And thanks for everything this evening. It’s much appreciated.’

‘Yes,’ said Georgie, approaching us with her hand extended towards Anthony. ‘Very nice to meet you. And congratulations on a lovely job. Bears no resemblance to the photos
Maggie showed me six months ago.’

He smiled, all pleased. ‘Thank you. I like getting stuck into a proper job like this,’ he said. ‘Makes a change from poky kitchen extensions and garden sheds.’

Georgie smiled at him. Her best, most winning one. ‘We’ll look forward to seeing you tomorrow, then.’

I came back into the kitchen to find her unpacking groceries. She turned to grin at me as I began opening cupboard doors. ‘Don’t say a word,’ I warned her. ‘Not even
one word.’

And here I am again, after a momentous week. Last Friday at Claire’s was traumatic, to say the least. I felt sorry for Nora, to have her news about Megan taken over by
Georgie’s abrupt departure, but she’ll get over it. Watching her with her photographs that evening made me feel sad for her. What sort of parents would force that on their daughter? To
give away their grandchild, just in case some snobby neighbours or sniffy clients might be upset? What a waste, I kept thinking. What an awful waste of all those years.

But Claire was right. She stepped in at just the right moment. I might have been about to get tearful. ‘The important thing now, Nora, is that you have her back.
She
came looking
for
you.
Have you any idea how lucky you are? That she wanted to know her mother so badly?’

Then it was my turn. I could hear the waver in Claire’s voice all too clearly. Here was Nora, already with three sons by the man she loved and now she had her daughter back. I thought of
all the losses in Claire’s life – some of which she didn’t even know about. I turned to Nora, handed her another tissue.

‘She’s right, Nora. Let’s celebrate you and Frank and Megan.’

Claire stood up to go in search of more Prosecco. I wanted to keep her out of the room for as long as I could, to see if I could get Nora to put her photographs away, to change the subject, just
for a bit. ‘Claire, have you any sparkling water left, by any chance?’

‘I’ll have a rummage while I’m out here,’ she called from the kitchen. ‘Just hang on a sec’

I turned to see Nora’s face suffused with love as she continued to turn her photos over in her hands. I knew then I couldn’t ask her to put them away. I couldn’t ask her to do
that, not without making everything worse.

Claire was brave that night, I have to hand it to her. I felt glad that Georgie had been the means of bringing us back together again after what had happened with Ray. Although at the time,
I’d been angry at Georgie, once I’d realized how she had manoeuvred the two of us together when Nora wasn’t around. Angry? I was livid. Looking back, I threw a tantrum that was
worthy of Georgie herself.

‘What do you think you’re playing at?’ I almost spat the words at her. ‘How dare you lie to me about tonight? How dare you try and put me in the same room as that
woman?’

But Georgie just looked at me very coolly. ‘You’re here, now, both of you. The least you can do is listen to each other. I don’t believe Claire has the remotest interest in
your husband.’ She lit my cigarette for me. My own hands were shaking too much for me to do it myself. ‘Yes. Claire let you down badly. Once. Now let’s take your husband. Would
you like me to count the ways?’

That took the wind out of my sails.

She shrugged and put the lighter back on the kitchen shelf. ‘Now she’s in the living room, waiting. It’s up to you, and she knows that. You say the word –
after
you’ve listened to her – and she’s history. If you can’t forgive her, neither will I.’ She nodded towards the front door. ‘There’s a taxi waiting. If you
say so, she goes. Immediately, once you’ve said your piece. You stay. Simple as that.’

I looked at her. I trusted what she said. ‘Right,’ I said. ‘I’ll listen to her. And then I’ll let you know.’

She nodded, satisfied. ‘And here’s the last part of the deal, Maggie.’

I turned, my hand just reaching out to open the door.

‘This is strictly between you and Claire. I don’t need to know, I don’t want to know. And Nora’ll never know tonight happened, not from me.’

I didn’t answer. My eyes filled and my throat felt hard and dry, as though it was choking on small stones. I opened the living room door and went in to Claire.

I think that she, Claire and I, now share an understanding that has made our friendship deeper, despite the secrets between us. We can trust each other.

I remember the night in O’Neill’s when she and Georgie and I met for the first time. I’ve never told her this, but I arrived with every intention of freezing Claire out. When
Georgie told me about her, I was immediately jealous. I remember that I warned Claire off that night, by telling her what good friends Georgie and I had been ever since we were kids. And then, to
be honest, I backed off. My heart wasn’t in it. Claire was so lovely and so open and so
vulnerable
that I felt ashamed of myself. I made it up to her afterwards, but I don’t
think she knew. Claire never sees badness in anyone. She’s far too trusting, and that’s what has got her into so much emotional hot water over the years.

Anthony will be back this afternoon. I called him about the leaking outside tap and he promised to stop by on his way to Sligo. His elder daughter has just had a new baby and
he’s off to see his latest grandchild – a little girl after two boys. I was embarrassed about having phoned when he told me. I didn’t know what to say first.

Anthony, that’s wonderful news! Congratulations! And please, don’t even think of calling here on your way. The tap is not important, it’ll do next week or the week after. Any
time you happen to be passing.’

‘No, no,’ he said. ‘I have to pass your door anyway. It’ll only take a few minutes to fix. Besides, visiting hour doesn’t start till seven. I’ll have plenty
of time.’

There was no point in arguing.

I have promised Ray that I will not leave him. At least, not in the way that people generally do. I remember the panic in his eyes when I sat him down three months ago and told
him that I had had enough. He looked stricken, that’s the only word for it.

‘Don’t go,’ he said, ‘please don’t,’ before I had even begun to say what I wanted to say. I had rehearsed the words so often that I was confident I
wouldn’t be deflected this time, that I would be able to keep on repeating my central message over and over again until he’d have no choice but to hear me.

‘I’m not leaving, Ray, because I don’t want that kind of upheaval in my life. But I am tired of living like this and I am going to make some changes. And the changes do not
include you.’ There, I had said it and the sky hadn’t fallen. ‘I am tired of giving you chances and tired of you breaking your promises.’ He opened his mouth, about to say
the words I had heard too often before, about how this time it would be different. ‘Please don’t say anything. Hear me out.’ He lit a cigarette for both of us. ‘I am not
asking you to do anything, say anything or make any promises that you won’t keep. This is about me and my life. I’ll continue to live here during the week most weeks, but I’ll be
gone at the weekends. Every weekend and you will not be joining me.’

‘But what do you expect me do?’ He said it quietly, his tone more bewildered than sad, and I almost weakened again.

‘Whatever you choose,’ said my rehearsed script. ‘You have your golf and your football.’ Now stop, said my script adviser, her voice stern. Stop handing him solutions.
Let him work it out for himself.

‘Is there someone else?’

I looked at him, right in the eye. ‘
You
are asking
me
that?’ His face flushed. ‘You have no right to ask me that, no right at all. But if it makes you feel
better, no, there is no one else, and
I’m
telling the truth.’

‘Where will you be going?’

I didn’t answer that one. Instead, I said: ‘We can continue to do all the parent stuff together, Christmas, birthdays, whatever we decide. We can still be Mr and Mrs O’Grady to
the outside world. But I can’t be your wife in the way I have been for the past twenty years. I just can’t do it any longer. I don’t hate you, Ray, I’m just tired of being
hurt.’