At Any Cost (19 page)

Livy killed the engine, but she didn't get out of the car. Who would take care of Simon if she was arrested? He was a fat, spoiled, inside cat that'd never make it on the outside. Bitter laughter rose in her chest and came out in a splutter. She was worried about Simon making it? What about her? She'd never so much as gotten a speeding ticket. Now she was contemplating the possibility of jail time.
Dear God
. Her head smacked against the steering wheel as another crippling wave of anxiety hit her. Would she have to pee in front of a hundred other women? She could barely use the bathroom when Simon stuck his paw under the door.

“Hey! You okay?”

The sound of Nick's voice sent a super jolt of shock through Livy's body. She bolted upright with a squeal and her hands came down on the horn in the process. Nick jumped back at the sudden sound, his own expression as pinched and worried as she felt.

“Son of a bitch!” she exclaimed on a sharp exhale. “You scared the shit out of me, Nick!”

His brows came down over his dark eyes. The days were getting longer as February was drawing to a close and there was still enough of the gray twilight remaining to allow Livy to take in every beautiful detail of Nick's face.

Goddamn, he was gorgeous.

And for a couple of weeks he'd been hers. Next to skiing and her mom, Nick was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Livy didn't want to lose him, but she had no choice. It was time to come clean.

“Someone's jumpy,” Nick said as Livy got out of the car. His expression, though relaxed, sent a shiver of trepidation through her body. He didn't seem to have the energy he usually did, as though he'd been dealt a hard blow. Maybe this was how he looked after a particularly bad day on the job. Which made her wonder what had happened today. “Did those rug rats give you grief today?”

“What?” Livy's brow furrowed. “Oh, no. My day wasn't too bad.” Aside from the total collapse of her life and current happiness. “How was your day?”

Nick cupped the back of his neck. He appeared at ease but Livy knew him well enough now to sense the tension that he tried to hide. “Good. I lounged around and binge-watched
Hill Street Blues
on Netflix.”

“That's a little dated,” Livy said with a laugh. “Eighties cop dramas do it for you, huh?”

“No.” Nick's gaze smoldered and Livy's intentions were incinerated by the heat. “Former junior Olympic ski racers do it for me.”

Livy also knew Nick well enough to realize that within the next few minutes they'd both be naked and in bed. He reached out, took her hand in his, and led her up the snowy steps to her front door. Her confession could wait until the morning, couldn't it?

“It feels like you've been gone for
weeks
,” Nick murmured in her ear as Livy unlocked the front door. A round of delicious chills broke out over her skin. “I'm glad you're home.”

So was she. Even a few minutes away from Nick felt like hours. Today had lasted at least a year. “So, what do you want to do tonight?”

He kissed her neck and then the corner of her mouth. “I don't care as long as it involves you being naked and on my cock.”

He got her with the dirty talk
every time
. She didn't think she'd ever not want Nick.

One last night with him. A few more hours where she could live Livy Gallagher's life. “I think that can be arranged.”

Livy would be sure to make their last night together count.

Chapter Twenty

Joel's lip curled. “This place is a snow-covered shithole.”

Shorty snickered. “The touristy types seem to like it.”

Joel cut him a look and said, “Yeah, well, they can keep it. I'm freezing my fucking ass off.” People actually enjoyed this shit? He wanted out of this cold-as-fuck town as soon as goddamned possible. Joel lit a cigarette and the smoke mingled with the steam that rose from his breath. The steel toes of his boots had turned them into refrigerators and his flannel shirt and plain denim jacket weren't doing shit to keep the chill of the wind away.

Kari Hanson had made herself a ghost. Joel wanted her to stay that way. You'd think there'd be tons of places to stash a body in the middle of fucking nowhere, but with all of the goddamned snow he doubted he'd find anywhere to dig a hole. His best bet would be to bury her body in a snowbank somewhere. It'd likely be a few months before anyone found her and even then, he'd like to see anybody try to connect him to the murder.

First, though, he had to get his fucking ledger back. Then he'd make the bitch pay for taking it from him.

They'd blown into town late in the afternoon. He wanted to wait until dark, rip the bitch out of her bed by the hair. Make sure she was good'n scared before he laid his fist into her. Ambushes were Joel's favorite means of attack. Catching his enemy off guard filled him with a perverse sense of satisfaction and power. He might not be in this fucking mess right now if he'd ambushed Owens at his home in the middle of the night. Instead, he'd let his temper get the best of him and beat the son of a bitch to a bloody pulp right there at his desk. If he'd kept his head cool, he would have checked the closet beside the office. He would have known that little bitch had hidden herself inside with his ledger. And he wouldn't be standing in the middle of this tiny as fuck town, freezing his balls off, and wishing he'd kept his head on straight.

Joel took a long drag off the cigarette and blew out the smoke in a rush before tossing it to the ground beside him. A woman sidled past him on the sidewalk. She glanced down at the discarded butt and back at him, her lip curling in distaste.

“The fuck you lookin' at?” he barked.

Her gaze slid quickly to the ground and she picked up her pace as she raced down the sidewalk and ducked into a real estate office.

God, this place was fucking uptight. Joel cracked his neck from side to side and turned toward Shorty. “You sure no one's going to notice us at her place?”

So far, Joel had felt the eyes of every curious asshole in the entire town on him. Small towns were full of busybodies and gossips who couldn't wait to rat out their neighbor for whatever reason. Then again, towns like this were exactly the sorts of places where people's loyalties could easily be bought. If he didn't have the FBI and marshals up his ass, he could probably do well in a place like this. If he could stomach the motherfucking snow, that is.

“It's tucked back in the woods,” Shorty said. “Down by the lake. The other houses on the lane are closed up for the winter as far as I can tell. I watched the place for two days and the only traffic in or out was Kari and her old man.”

“He could be a problem.” Joel knew the type: pussy-whipped with a hero complex.

“Unless he's got an arsenal and ten hands, he won't be,” Shorty said with a snort.

“So, what're we doin' for the next few hours?” Z-dog asked.

Joel scowled at the prospect who couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut.

Shorty had suggested they bring that idiot Z-Dog along—let him roll with the big boys as a reward for bringing in the intel on Kari. But with every idiotic word out of the kid's mouth, Joel was starting to reconsider. The kid was wild and unfocused. The second shit went down, Joel suspected he would crumble. Joel wasn't interested in hiding more than one body tonight—maybe two if Kari's old man was around—and he'd be damned if he let some prospect disrupt his plan to get his ledger and his life back.

“We're not doing a goddamned thing.” Joel turned a caustic eye toward the kid and his shoulders slumped. “We're going to stay nice and invisible. You understand me, son?”

He gave a slow nod. “Can we at least be invisible at the bar?” He jerked his chin across the street. “Get a beer while we wait?”

The last thing Joel needed was his crew to be shitfaced or passed out on a table before they got to Kari. But the bar was a better option for them than hanging out at the cutesy fucking café to their left. At least they'd blend in at the bar. “You can get a beer,” Joel said. Z-Dog turned to leave and he grabbed the kid by the scruff of his neck and spun him around. “But you mind yourself, son. If you fuck up my chances of doing what I came here to do, I'll bury your ass in a ditch somewhere between here and California. You understand me?”

Z-Dog's muddy brown eyes went wide. “I get it. Jesus, I just want a beer.”

Joel let him go with a shove. Fucking prospects didn't have any damned respect anymore.

Shorty and the other three guys they'd brought along fell into step behind Joel. He was so close to tying up his loose ends once and for all. He'd be damned if he let anything or
anyone
screw it up now.

* * *

Nick molded his chest to Livy's back. Her body bathed his in heat as she nestled closer. Over the course of a few short weeks he'd lost himself so completely to her that he wasn't sure he'd ever find his way back. He'd jeopardized his career, his reputation, everything he stood for and he'd do it all again for just another day with her. Another night. Another minute.

He'd meant to confront her when she got home from work. He'd planned to tell her who he really was and why he was there. But his own damned fear at how she'd react silenced him. His own damned fear about hearing the truth from her lips—not her deception or Morgan's suspicions—had curtailed all of his plans. One look into her beautiful hazel eyes and nothing else had mattered but getting every last scrap of clothing off her and getting her into bed.

Now that the haze of lust had cleared from his brain, a stone of guilt and regret settled in Nick's gut. He could protect Livy. Help her if she'd let him. He didn't believe for a second that the woman he'd grown to love so quickly could have had any part in her father's death.
Jesus
. The realization hit Nick with the force of a battering ram. He was in love with her. Whether she was Kari Hanson or Oliva Gallagher, or anyone else, it didn't matter. Nick knew she had a good heart and an even better soul. Whatever sins she'd committed, he could forgive her. At least, he hoped he could.

But he wouldn't know until he confronted her and got the truth out in the open once and for all. Morgan and a team of deputies would be here in under forty-eight hours. He didn't want Livy to find out who he was when Morgan crashed through her door. He needed her to hear it from him before shit went down. He needed her to know that no matter what happened after tonight, he'd be there for her. Even if it meant his badge.

Nick wrapped his arms tight around her. She hadn't fallen asleep yet. Chills danced over his skin as she traced a light pattern up and over his forearm with the silky soft pads of her fingertips. He held her as though worried she might slip away from him. After what he was about to say to her, he was pretty damned sure she would.

He opened his mouth to speak. Closed it. Let out a measured breath that did nothing to slow the frantic beat of his heart. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. Goddamn it, he didn't want what this was between them to end.

“I know who you are, Kari.” The words slipped from between Nick's lips in a whisper.

Livy's body went rigid in his embrace and her breath quickened. Her fingers stopped drawing a pattern on his skin. The flush of heat from her body intensified and he kept his arms around her as he felt her begin to pull away.

“I haven't worked with SWAT for a while.” Nick put his mouth close to her ear as he spoke. Her delicate crisp winter scent filled his nostrils and his chest swelled with emotion. “I'm a deputy U.S. marshal. I can help you. But you have to tell me where Joel is.”

Livy's breath stalled and Nick's heart lodged itself in his throat. He'd taken down violent criminals without a scrap of backup. Been shot at more times than he could count. Single-handedly wrestled down guys who were hell-bent on killing him and none of it scared him as much as Livy's still silence did.

“Help us,” he said. “You can trust me, Livy. Let me help you.”

Silence answered him. Would she deny the truth and make this harder on the both of them? He waited, gave her the time she might need to process everything he'd said to her. No more secrets. No lies. It was time for them to lay everything out on the table. Nick knew it was for the best. He hoped that Livy did too.

“You think I know where Joel is?” Her quiet voice filled the silence, full of disdain. “Jesus, Nick. Exactly who in the hell do you think I am?”

“We know you were in a relationship with him, Livy. Joel's been looking for you for a long time. Whatever he coerced you to do, whatever he was to you doesn't matter now. Help us put him away and I'll do whatever is in my power to help you.”

Livy gripped his arms and shoved them away from her body. She trembled, not with fear, but with anger as she pushed herself up from the bed and turned to face him. “You son of a bitch!” Nick sat up on the bed as Livy searched the floor for her clothes. She pulled on her sweater—the sweater he loved—and a pair of leggings.

“Livy.”

“Don't call me that!” she spat. “Don't ever call me that again. If you know so goddamned much about me why bother with the pretense? Is this standard operating procedure for a deputy U.S. marshal, Nick? Get to know the suspect, take her to bed, and then question her post-orgasm? I've got to say, your interrogation tactics are
stellar
.”

Nick scrubbed a hand over his face and let out a gust of breath. He'd handled this all wrong and he was about to pay the price for it. “I didn't mean for any of this to happen the way it did, but there's nothing either of us can do about that now. Liv—Kari, this has become a multi-district operation. Hell, maybe even multi-agency by this point. My chief is sending deputies down from Boise to arrest you. I managed to buy us another twenty-four hours but before they get here, I need to know the truth. I need to know how much involvement you had in your father's murder. You've got to be straight with me or there won't be anything I can do to make this easier on you.”

“You know, Nick,” Livy said. “Your amazing powers of deduction are proving why I didn't think I could trust the cops in the first place. You guys just make assumptions and run with them. Jesus! I thought you knew me better than this! You think I was Joel's
girlfriend
? The man is a pile of human garbage!”

“I know about your dad, Livy. If you were in any way involved—”

“You think I killed my dad?” With each word her voice escalated. Simon let out a warning growl that echoed his owner's mood before he hopped down from his spot on the bed where he'd been curled up. Her rueful laugh filled the silence. “This just gets better and better, doesn't it? You think I'm a murderer and you're okay with that? After all of your honorable, take-the-bad-guy-down bullshit you just hop into bed with me as though your high standards and morals don't mean shit? I suppose I should be flattered that you thought I was hot enough to set all of that aside.” She let out a derisive snort. “Guess I wasn't the only one lying about who and what I really was. Vacation my ass. You've been staking me out!”

The barb stung but she was absolutely right. Nick had tossed all of his convictions to the side the minute he'd laid eyes on her. But not simply because she was a hot piece of ass that he couldn't wait to toss. “You have no idea what I think or feel, Livy.”

“I said, don't ever call me Livy again.”

“It's your name,” Nick countered. “Kari Oliva Hanson. Or Kari Olivia Barnes Hanson. I know you took your mom's name and I know that your dad was an even bigger piece of shit than you let on.”

“So you think that justifies my killing him?” she asked with incredulity. “Wow Nick, you really are taking the moral high ground, aren't you?”

He chose to ignore her sarcasm. She was trying to rile him, to goad him into a fight and he wasn't going to let her do it.

“I'm not trying to justify anything,” Nick said. “All I want is the truth.”

“You're not interested in the truth,” Livy said with disdain. “If you were, you wouldn't have pretended to be someone you're not.”

“Which is what?” He tried not to let her words get to him, but it was damned tough not to.

“A decent guy who doesn't have an agenda.”

Nick opened his mouth to protest but he couldn't deny it. He'd absolutely had an agenda. Denying it would make him look like an even bigger asshole. He wasn't going to sit by and allow Livy to think that he'd used her, though. “That was before.”

“Before what?”

Nick raked his hands through his hair. “Before
you
.”

“Give me a fucking break, Nick.”

His temper flared. He understood her anger with him over his deception, but hadn't she been dishonest as well? Nick had simply done his job in coming here to try to get a bead on Meecum. Livy was the one who was about to be arrested as an accessory to murder. He was sick and tired of defending his honor to her, trying to justify what he'd done when it was Livy who was in the wrong here. She'd turned the tables on him and he'd let her. Not anymore.