At Hidden Falls (Angel's Bay Novel) (10 page)

“Mr. Hartley?” The secretary motioned him toward the principal’s office. “You can go in.”

When Nick took the seat in front of his desk, Mr. Donohue gave him the usual grim expression of a school official about to deliver bad news.

“Megan was caught with alcohol on school grounds,” he said, getting right to the point. “That’s an automatic two-day suspension. She’ll also need to undergo an online alcohol education class.” He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Nick. “Here’s the information.”

“Megan is new here,” Nick said, pleading his daughter’s case. “She’s struggling to find her place, to make friends. Obviously, she made a bad choice, but can’t you give her a warning?”

“No, I can’t.”

“Were there other students involved?” Nick asked. “Are you sure Megan was the one drinking?”

“She was with two boys, J. R. Reming and Will Harlan, not the best influences for your daughter. They were caught in the woods on the outskirts of campus during lunch with two bottles of beer. It’s possible that she didn’t actually drink, but we have no way of determining that, and everyone receives the same punishment. It’s school policy.”

“When can she come back?”

“Monday. In the meantime, I hope you can talk to her about the choices she’s making.”

“Of course,” Nick said, but he had a feeling that the conversation wouldn’t go much better than any of the others they’d had. “She’s had a rough transition, but she’s a good kid. Don’t let the purple in her hair fool you.”

“I’ve been a public school principal for twenty years, Mr. Hartley, and I’ve seen all kinds of hair colors. I have no doubt that your daughter is trying to find her way in a new school, but she has to follow the rules. I can’t make exceptions. I’ve notified her teachers, and they’ll put together some school-work for her to do at home. You’ll be sent an e-mail with the information later today, and a copy will go to Megan. Any questions?”

“No,” Nick said, seeing the steel in the principal’s eyes. There was no battle he could fight here, but Megan was another matter.

He left the office, gave a brisk nod and said, “Let’s go.”

Megan got up, throwing her backpack over one shoulder and giving the boy a quick look. Nick didn’t have a good feeling about whatever passed between them.

She didn’t speak on the way home, and Nick was still trying to figure out how best to talk to her when they walked into the house.

Megan dropped her backpack onto the kitchen table, then opened the refrigerator door, giving the contents a long stare before shutting it again.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“Are you drunk?”

A spark flashed in her eyes, and her lips tightened, but she just gave him another shake of her head.

“Come on, Megan. Tell me what happened. Were you drinking?”

“No, I was just talking to Will.”

“He was the one who was drinking?”

“What do you care?” She walked out of the kitchen, down the hall, and into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

He hesitated for a moment, then walked down the hall and knocked on her door. He gave her a minute, knocked again, and said, “I’m coming in.” When he entered the room, she was sitting in the middle of her bed, a defiant expression on her face. “It’s not going down like this, Megan. I’ve let you walk away from me too many times. We’re talking now.”

“You let me go twelve years ago. It’s a little late to be interested in my life.”

He met her challenging gaze, knowing she could see his guilt in his eyes, which only made her feel as if she was justified in her attitude.

Sitting on the corner of her bed, he said, “If you want to start at the beginning, that’s what we’ll do.”

Megan’s eyes widened in surprise, but she quickly covered up her reaction with a shrug. “Whatever.”

Nick drew in a breath. Would Megan judge him even more harshly when she’d heard the whole story? Or had she already heard it? He had no idea what her mother had told her about their separation and, later, their divorce, but he couldn’t keep sidestepping the subject.

“I was eighteen when you were born, three years older than you are right now. When your mom got pregnant, I married her. I thought we’d stay together.”

“Yeah, right,” she muttered, chipping at the purple polish on her fingernails.

“I moved with Kendra to New York, because she wanted to work on the stage. We lived in a studio apartment that wasn’t much bigger than a closet, and you slept in a dresser drawer for the first six months of your life. But we were a family. I don’t know if you remember anything from those years—”

“I don’t,” she said quickly, cutting him off.

“You and I were close.” A knot grew in his throat. While Kendra was at the theater, he’d been the one to rock Megan to sleep, to give her her bottle, to read her bedtime stories, to hold her when she cried. Those days seemed like a million years ago. How could he expect Megan to remember them?

“We used to go to the zoo together,” he continued. “You loved the giraffes and the monkeys, but you thought the elephants smelled bad.” Megan wasn’t looking at him, but she appeared to be listening. “One day, I came home from work to find your mom packing. She had an offer to play on the London stage. I asked her not to go, but she said it was her career and too big of an opportunity to pass up. It was only going to be a few months. What was a couple of months in a lifetime, she asked me.

“I didn’t have enough money to buy a plane ticket to London. I was working two part-time jobs that barely paid anything. Even if I could have gotten myself there, I didn’t have any way of bringing in money or supporting you. So I told her I’d be waiting for you both when the play was over.

But the run didn’t end. It went on and on. And then there was another play, another opportunity. Your mom kept telling me next spring, next summer, next Christmas. I never imagined that she wouldn’t come back at all. That she’d meet someone else, divorce me, remarry, get divorced again . . .”

“You should have come to get me,” Megan said, raising her gaze to his. The pain in her eyes made his heart hurt. For the first time, she didn’t look like a rebellious teenager but like a sad little girl—
his
little girl.

His heart ached with longing for what he’d lost so long ago.

“Why didn’t you come?” she demanded, her lips trembling. “How could you just let me go?”

“I did come, Megan, but it took me a couple of years to get my act together. I went to college, working on the side, saving my money so I’d have something to offer you and your mother. But it was three years before I saw you again.”

“No.” She gave an emphatic shake of her head. “You didn’t come at all. You didn’t see me.”

“I did. You were six by then, almost seven. And you were happy. I went to your school. I saw you run into the arms of your mother’s fiancé. You smiled up at him the way you used to smile at me. And then your mom got out of the car, and the three of you were together—a family.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me?”

“I came by the house later. Your mother confirmed what I already knew—that I was too late. You were happy, and I couldn’t disrupt your life. She convinced me that a custody battle wouldn’t be good for anyone, and I couldn’t compete with the lifestyle she had to offer. But more important, Kendra said that seeing you would only confuse you. That if I truly wanted to be a good father, I should let you be.”

“That’s so fucked up!” Megan’s eyes blazed with anger. “You want me to believe you’re some kind of hero now? That you let me have this great life from nobility? That’s bullshit.”

“That’s
not
what I’m saying. I made a huge mistake, Megan. I should have stayed and fought for you.”

“But you didn’t. You saw a way out, and you took it. You never wanted me. I was an accident—admit it.”

“You were unplanned, but I wanted you from the first second I saw your heart beating on the ultrasound,” he said forcefully, needing her to believe him. “If I could go back and change things, I would. But I can’t. All I can do is move forward. And you’re here now.”

“Not because you want me to be.” She hugged a pillow tightly, her eyes defiant and still hurt. “It’s only because Mom dumped me on you.”

He couldn’t deny that’s exactly what Kendra had done. That would only be insulting, Megan was a smart kid. She needed the truth from him.

“What about all the other years?” Megan demanded. “You came one time, and that’s it?”

“I sent you letters, presents for your birthday and Christmas. I gave your mom money toward your support. I didn’t know what else to do. I really thought it was too late, Megan.” He paused. “You never wrote me back, other than a few polite little cards, thank you for the present. That was it.”

“Why would I say anything else?” she challenged. “A lot of strangers gave me things. It was no big deal.”

The stranger crack hurt, as she’d intended. He’d never loved anyone as much as he’d loved Megan. He hadn’t shown her that, but he had a second chance now.

“Being together is a big change for both of us,” he said. “But we have a wonderful chance to get to know each other again. What do you say—will you give it a try?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“If you meet me halfway, it might make things easier.”

“If I say yes, will you take me out driving?”

He smiled at the determined glint in her eyes. She wasn’t giving in without a negotiation. The first thing she’d done upon arriving in California was to get her learner’s permit, and he was excited to teach her how to drive. It would be one of the few father-daughter milestones that he hadn’t already missed.

“Fine, but you have to promise to drive on the right side of the road,” he teased.

She made a face at him. “Very funny. Can we go now?”

He had work to do, calls to return, plans to draw up, but the expectant look on Megan’s face shifted his priorities. She’d been waiting years for his attention. “All right. Did you have lunch?”

“Not really.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to drive us to Rusty’s so we can get some pizza.” He took the keys out of his pocket and dangled them in front of her.

She grabbed them with an eagerness that was completely out of character and scrambled off the bed. “Let’s go.”

He followed her out to the car. It felt very odd to get into the passenger seat and see his daughter buckling up behind the wheel. She adjusted the mirror, then turned the key in the ignition.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s go over a few things. You’re going to put it in reverse and back out very, very slowly.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ve driven before.”

“I didn’t know that. When?”

“Outside London. Mom’s boyfriend took me one day. He was trying to impress Mom. He didn’t really care about me.”

Nick hated how cynical she was, but he was partly to blame, so he said nothing.

Megan backed out of the driveway and they weaved down the street, making a head-jerking stop at the street sign. Nick was about to say something, but when he saw the smile on her face, he just told her to take a right and prayed they’d make it to Rusty’s in one piece.

“So who are these boys you were with at lunch?” Nick asked, over sodas and pizza. He hoped Megan’s good mood would make her more talkative.

“J.R. and Will,” she said shortly, taking a big bite of pizza. “They’re cool.”

“They drink, though, right?”

“Everyone drinks in high school,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“Do you?”

She shrugged. “I have, and I would again if I wanted to.”

“What if I said I didn’t want you to?”

She looked him straight in the eye. “I could lie, and you’d never know what I was really doing. Mom didn’t. Not that she cared.”

Nick considered her words. “You didn’t get along well with your mother?”

“She wasn’t around much. I spent more time with the nannies than with her. I don’t know why she even took me with her—I guess I was a good photo op for a while. She used to make me wear the most hideous dresses and do up my hair in curls whenever reporters came to the house. I was like her pet dog.”

“I had no idea. Kendra was a good mother when we were together. She was a little self-absorbed, but I know she loved you and wanted you with her. Maybe she got caught up in her career, but you’re still important to her, Megan.”

“Why are you defending her? You don’t know her any better than you know me,” Megan told him with a wisdom beyond her years. “She’s a really good actress.”

He nodded. “I know what it’s like to grow up with parents who can act. Sometimes it was difficult to tell when they were being real or playing a part. I remember hearing them fight once, and they actually fell into a scripted argument from a play they’d been in years earlier. It was almost funny. I don’t even know if they realized how blurry the lines were between their work and their reality.”

“Did you act, too?”

“I did when I was young and forced to do so, but I was always more interested in music. I played whatever I could get my hands on—the guitar, the piano, the saxophone. I used to live in the orchestra pit while my parents were onstage. That was my favorite place to be.”

For the first time, his daughter actually looked interested. “Were you any good as a musician?”

“I used to be in a band. I thought for a while I might be a rock star, but that career path didn’t quite work out,” he said with a smile.

She didn’t smile back. “Because of me. Because you got Mom pregnant,” she said flatly.

“Because of a lot of things. You weren’t to blame for my not making it in the music business.”

She rested her arms on the table. “So what are you going to do if Mom decides that she wants me back? It’s not like her marriages last very long.”

“Whatever decisions need to be made from here on out, I think we should make them together, don’t you?”

“No one has ever asked me what I wanted.”

“Well, that’s going to change. But Megan, there still have to be some rules, and drinking and getting suspended from school, that’s not okay. You don’t have to do that kind of thing to get my attention. You already have it.”

“Who said it was your attention I wanted?” she countered.