At Knit's End (11 page)

— E
RMA
B
OMBECK

W
hen I was frustrated that my baby daughter wouldn't sleep through the night, my mother urged me to be patient. “This could be the last night she gets up,” she told me. “How do you want your last nighttime feeding to be?” I've applied this attitude to my yarn-buying activity. This could be the last yarn I buy. What would I want the last yarn I buy to be? What if tomorrow … I can't buy yarn anymore?

I will remember that this attitude, although it increases the quality of yarn that I buy and my willingness to treat myself, can hamper my ability to pay the mortgage.

 

There are no menial jobs,
only menial attitudes.

— W
ILLIAM
B
ENNETT

O
nce you get the hang of them, socks can be pretty mundane. A plain navy blue dress sock for my husband goes around and around and around enough times that I begin to imagine that grooming a llama with my tongue would be more fun. I play little games with myself, races to see how fast I can knit, bribing myself with coffee or chocolate at the end of each row … but, to be quite honest, a navy blue dress sock is an insult to the knitter, and this is elevated to injury when you realize you still have to knit a second one.

When considering this menial task, I will remember that my husband puts “she knits me dress socks” at the top of the list when he recounts the reasons that he loves me.

 

Put duties aside at least an hour before bed
and perform soothing, quiet activities that
will help you relax.

— D
IANNE
H
ALES

K
nitting is perfect for this. I make a habit of setting aside some time each evening to take out my knitting and work quietly on it, happily relaxing. I believe that it prepares me for sleep and washes away the cares of my day.

I will consider that intarsia, or Fair Isle with three or more colors in a row, prepares nobody for sleep and cursing loudly while flinging knitting around the living room is about as far away from soothing as you can get.

 

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

— G
EORGE
B
ERNARD
S
HAW

I
f I were going to shoplift something (not that I ever would, of course), it would be lace-weight Shetland wool.

Many yards is still a skein small enough to fit in a pocket, it is exquisite, and it is expensive. The perfect crime.

I will remember, the next time I hear that someone has been charged with theft, to extend my sympathy and try to find understanding. After all, maybe she stole wool.

 

A successful marriage requires
falling in love many times,
always with the same person.

— M
IGNON
M
C
L
AUGHLIN

I
am happily married to a wonderful man, who is generous, funny, and kind. I have never even for one moment contemplated leaving him or being unfaithful. At least, that was true until I found out that one of the women in our knitting guild is married to a man who owns a yarn store and builds her cedar-lined, moth-repelling closets as his hobby.

I can't stop thinking about him.

I will remember (in the midst of an obsession with a man I've never met) that my husband has his own special qualities.

 

You know you
knit too much when …

Your knitting children have
accused you (openly, and
more than once) of giving
them only your “crap wool”
for their projects.

 

I detest converts almost
as much as I do missionaries.

— H. L. M
ENCKEN

O
ne night, as I sat knitting in a restaurant after the movies, the waitress asked a few questions about my project. Next thing I knew, she was sitting at the table with needles in her hands.

When she had gone back to her work, my husband asked me whether this was what it had come to. “What?” I asked.

“Missionary work,” he replied.

I will remember that spreading the word of wool around the world is a good thing, and that many, many people want to learn to knit. I will also remember that if they start looking nervously at the exit I may have taken it too far.

 

The universe is full of magical things,
patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

— E
DEN
P
HILLPOTTS

T
here are many ancient stories of knitting, and there are even some that tell of knitting as a magic charm — spells that can be wrought in the stitches of sweaters, blankets, and socks for purposes known only to the knitter. One of these stories recounts how knitters used to knit a hair from their own locks into the garment for another, thus binding that person to them forever.

I will accept the legend of this magic charm, both because it is lovely and because it is easier to believe in magic than to try and pick my hair out of my knitting all the time.

Newfoundland Outport Nursing and
Industrial Association

I
n 1920, there was a shortage of doctors, nurses, and midwives in the isolated outports of Newfoundland, Canada. The British government sent over some nurses but, as is often the way with governments, the funding for this health service was touch and go. The nurses came up with the idea that if they were to knit items to sell, they could fund the program themselves. They recruited women from all over Newfoundland, gave them wool, and taught them to knit (if they didn't
know already). The women knit what pleased them, and NONIA picked up the knitting, paid the women, and then sold the knitting to pay for more health care. It was without a doubt one of the cleverest women-helping-women schemes ever thought up. The nurses kept their jobs, the women earned a little income, and everybody in the outports got health care.

I will remember that knitting can be a powerful force for helping others.

 

The only difference between me and
a madman is that I'm not mad.

— S
ALVADOR
D
ALì

T
here are knitters in the world who work in miniature. They use needles made from piano wire, and their gauge averages about 40 to 60 stitches to the inch. Yeah, read that again.

I will remember, though I have absolutely no urge to take up this type of endeavor, that it does give some perspective to complaining about projects in fingering-weight yarn.

 

And isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony,
anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick,
rational thinking. But when you're good and
crazy, ooh ooh ooh, the sky's the limit!

— T
HE
T
ICK
(B
EN
E
DLUND
)

A
rtist and performer Pate Conaway worked on a performance piece called “Knitting for My Soul.” He knitted in public, a washcloth sculpture that would cover a queen-size bed. His needles were 4 feet long, and the ball of yarn was almost as big as he was. Pate claimed to be playing with scale.

I will follow my inner artist as far as she wants to take me. (Even if it's not quite that far.)

 

For people allergic to wool,
one's heart can only bleed.

— E
LIZABETH
Z
IMMERMAN

5
reasons why wool is wonderful:

It can be bent 20,000 times without breaking

It is warm even when wet

It is fire resistant; wool will stop burning when the flame is removed

It can be stretched up to 30 percent and still return to its original shape

Sheep are easier to catch and shear than, say, musk ox

 

Once is happenstance.
Twice is coincidence.
Three times is enemy action.

— I
AN
L. F
LEMING