At Least He's Not On Fire: A Tour of the Things That Escape My Head (10 page)

The guard reached up to his shoulder and spoke. Tesser didn't understand any of the strange words and thought his manner of dress strange. He wore dark colors, none of which were the skins of an animal like the humans had worn when he was last awake.

"Tunnel collapse, big time. We're gonna need to shut down the Green Line heading west between Copley and Hynes. Holy shit." The T was halted for several hours; unfortunate morning commuters were forced to find alternative routes.

Tesser cocked his head and realized there was much he had to learn. He had all the time in the world in which to do it. As the other rat darted back into the hole in the wall, he decided to join him. The shrunken dragon would start with the lesson of the rat's tunnels.

Rats always knew how to get around.

Chapter Three

Matilde "Matty" Rindahl

Matty was on the phone.

"Relax, relax, Matty. Your parents love you, and I know you're nervous they're here visiting from Norway, but there's no reason to be all amped up about it," Max said softly from the other side of Boston.

Easy for you to say
, Matty thought. "I know, Max, but this is the first time I've actually seen my mom and dad since the miscarriage, and since you and I stopped seeing each other. I guess I'm just freaking out for no reason. Maybe it's that silly little earthquake earlier. Stupid collapsed subway tunnel. Thanks for talking with me."

"It's my pleasure, babe. You know I'll always be your friend," Max said.
 

His sincerity was sickening. He probably always would be her friend, despite their past year of awkwardness and pain. There had been physical pain as well as emotional pain. Matilde and Max had been engaged to marry, and she pregnant with their baby boy. Money was accumulating in their joint savings account for them to buy a condo in Boston near Boston College where Max was an assistant professor in the psychology department. Matty was a promising grad student with job offers lining up. Matty was a fair-skinned, dark-haired beauty with bright green eyes; Max was tall and lean and handsome. Their lives looked bright and full of inevitable happiness.

The fairy tale unraveled in the morning sun late the summer before when Matty awoke to find a large slick of blood between her legs. Max had rushed her to the hospital, and after the emergency room did everything it could, she was told her baby boy would never draw breath. She had miscarried.

Try as they might, they could not conceive again. A fertility specialist, paid for by Max's family's wealth, told her that she was no longer able to have babies. She was devastated. Max's dream had always been to be a father, and she knew that with her his life would never be complete. There were more than a few tears, but in the end they agreed it was best to go their separate ways, wishing each other love and good luck.
 

Max returned to work, and soon after, met Amanda, a beautiful grad student not too unlike Matty (though blonde), and they were forming what looked to be a good life. Matty had returned to grad school, this time at Boston University instead of Boston College, and was about to graduate. The reason for her family's visit from Norway was for that graduation.

She realized Max had said something. "What, Max? I'm sorry. I'm all discombobulated right now."

Max laughed, "You should've studied linguistics. You love all those big words. I just said that Amanda and I would try and stop by the graduation tomorrow. I'd like to say hello to your parents if there's time."

Matty winced, "Max, I'm not sure my father is up for that. He's still a bit resentful about the breakup after we lost Aiden."
Aiden. It would've been such a pretty name for a young boy.

"I thought you'd talked to them about it? Explained the whole situation? That it was mutual?" Max sounded genuinely disappointed: more evidence of that sincerity that made her queasy.

"Yes, I did explain everything, Maxwell, but he's my father, and no matter what I say, you'll always be the man that left his daughter after her baby died. If you cured cancer, he'd still never shake your hand again."

Max sighed. "I understand. That's sad. I guess maybe we'll just mail you a congratulations card instead. I'll pick you up a gift certificate to Legal. Can you tell your mother I said hello at least? Does Lindsey hate me too?"

"No, she understands far more than my dad does. I'll pass along your good wishes, Max. I've got to go shortly. I need to drive to Logan to pick them up. Their flight was delayed a little, but I don't want to hit traffic on the way over."

"Yeah, the Storrow will be a bit of a bitch at this hour. Why don't you just take the T over?"

Matty had to swallow a laugh. "My father shouldn't have his slacks dirtied by the seats in Boston's public transportation system. Besides, I want to drive my new car over and show them how well I'm doing. He'll appreciate the new car."

"How is the new job? I was pleased to hear you got the job ahead of getting your master's."

Matty's inner-joy surfaced. "It is outstanding, Max. I love working in the lab, and culturing all the cells, and running all the experiments and trials and all that nerdy stuff. Plus, the money is ludicrous. If I can save like I think I can, then I'll be a very early retiree."

"Take that Italian vacation we talked about. That's terrific, Matty. Well go get your parents. Tell your mother I said hello, and your father too if he doesn't curse me out too much."
 

"I will, Max, and tell Amanda I said hello," Matty was as sincere as Max. She wanted him to be as happy as he could be, even if that meant it was without her.

"I will. Good luck tomorrow, and toss that cap as high in the air as you can!"

They said their goodbyes and Matty ended the call. The long-legged young woman walked around the island in her new Beacon Hill apartment and spied all the boxes she'd not yet unpacked. Emptying the boxes would be golden busy work for her father. She'd also intentionally left some Ikea furniture unmade; he’d start tackling it all as soon as they walked in the apartment door. That'd give her and her mother time together. She missed her mother fiercely since her and her father had moved to Norway. Her dad had missed his native country fiercely, and her mother was looking for a new experience anyway.

Matty sighed and scooped up her new car keys from the dish on the island. The traffic could be tough with everyone getting out of work, and she didn't want her father to wait any longer than was necessary.

Chapter Four

Tesser

The world was different. Wrong.

When last I wandered the world, the only things that man had made that reached towards the sky were squat towers made of logs and stones errantly piled up, held together by the hopes and dreams of immature minds. These creations, these new structures, are made of stone, glass, and iron and reach nearly to the clouds. They've sprung up like evil weeds, giant and infecting the earth.

These humans remind me more of lice than men.
 

I'm being bitter. So very bitter. I really do not know what these people have been through since I was sent to slumber.

I've remained in the form of the large rat. It has proven itself indispensable for moving about this settlement. Although, I feel the term settlement is inadequate. I sat in the shadows at high noon in a narrow stone alcove a few days ago and counted over ten thousand unique human faces as they walked by, oblivious. It is quite shocking to me to see all the different skin tones, facial features, and the range of size. When last I dealt with humans they were segregated geographically by design and had multiple distinct lines. Now they are clearly interbred, larger, and obviously smarter. It appears that their natural crossbreeding has been beneficial. This is a good thing.

And the languages! Some letters that are written on signs or on paper look familiar to me, but I've yet to piece anything together. I've learned none of the different spoken dialects, but I believe I've identified five different tongues. I'll learn the most common language soon. I've got a passion for communication.
 

Tesser's rat body paused in the orange light from the streetlamps high above. Towering buildings, ten, twenty stories tall loomed above like inorganic, steroidal sequoias. Several other rats froze solid as the alpha rat considered the world around him. Inside a nearby building, the bass from a club that had just opened for the night started to rumble. Tesser's rodent head started to bob slowly to the electronic beat.

I must admit, the music they have created is enthralling. All across this settlement I've listened to songs created by stringed instruments, as well as metal horns, and varying other tools to make sound, but this rumbling, thumping, grinding music that comes from this chaotically lit building is my favorite thus far. It has energy. Life.

Tesser resumed his trot down the alley and the other rats unfroze. Even in this relatively alien body, the creatures of the city were blatantly aware that he was in charge. A calico alley cat ten paces away that had been stalking a different, ordinary rat hissed at Tesser as he approached, though it dared not attack. Tesser paid the feline no mind and continued on his way. The fur on the back of the cat's neck stood on its end as Tesser marched past it, unworried. Only when he turned the corner towards a well-lit area of the city did the cat return to its hunt. It understood the food chain.

I must try more of the food. So many culinary delights have been made here. I've eaten out of nearly every refuse container in a wide radius the past two weeks, and no meal twice. Some of it is fetid, and clearly not made of natural ingredients, but some of it is quite delicious. Sometimes, no matter how much of it I've eaten, I'm still hungry.

The thought of the exotic human food made his rat stomach growl eagerly. Tesser did the equivalent of a rat smile. Up ahead, at the end of the long alley that spilled out into the area of Boston known as Chinatown, three people stood talking, their voices rising in volume and anger. A woman had two men surrounding her, one on each side. She was shrinking lower and lower, trying to make herself smaller, trying to escape the building wrath of the men.

I wonder what makes humans angry now?

Tesser picked up the pace. He wanted to be close, to watch, smell, and learn. Examining people in all their heightened emotions was fascinating for him. He couldn't tell what they were saying, but he listened anyway.

The girl spoke, the presence of worry in her voice thick and strong: "Look, guys, I don't really know you all that well. I don't want to go back to your apartment. The night is early. Let's go into Pandemonium, get some drinks, and dance first.
 
See what happens."

She is attractive. Her manner of dress reveals quite a bit of flesh.
 

"Look," the taller of the two men said. Tesser noted that as he spoke his mouth sounded… loose. Uncoordinated. "We've seen you like, three, four weekends here now, and we've bought you like, ten, twelf drinksh each. We put in our money and our time. Come back to our place, and we'll have some fun there, shugar tits."

 
She is frowning. Whatever he said did not appeal to her.

The shorter man behind her reached up and put two strong hands on her upper arms. She flinched as his stubby fingers pressed into her flesh. It would leave a mark.

"Look hoe, we're walking," he said brusquely as he moved her deeper into the alley, straight towards his little rat body. Tesser noted that both men had lumps in their clothing where their genitals were. He did not need to speak the language to understand what was going to happen. They were going to rape her.

A complex series of thoughts ran through Tesser's mind as he considered what to do. Almost all sex in the natural world is consensual. Every species that copulates is unconsciously bidden to do so to procreate their line. Saying no is not part of their equation. As Tesser watched the woman's struggle begin, he contemplated the dilemma at hand.