At Peace (58 page)

His face was still gentled by sleep, his jaw
shadowed with stubble, his big, powerful body relaxed, one arm
cocked, hand behind his head, the other hand resting on his abs.
His scars were on display along with his muscles. His skin had a
beautiful olive tint to it, likely given to him by his mother. It
and his hair were dark against my light green sheets and this, for
some reason, I found unbelievably appealing. His blue eyes were on
me, so clear, so blue, so startling, I remembered the first time I
saw them and how they affected me and that effect had not
diminished in all these months.

I’m yours.

The words he’d said to me two days before
came into my head and they hit me like a thunderbolt. So simple, so
Joe, two words, two short words but put together and said by Joe
their meaning packed a powerful punch.

It socked me right in the gut, so strong, I
was sitting in my bed but I was winded.

Then I didn’t know why, I unfolded my legs,
twisted to him and bent down. I touched my lips to his throat then
rested my cheek against his chest, settling into his warm, hard
body, the phone still at my ear, my other ear hearing his
heartbeat.

His hand behind his head came to me, sliding
into my hair and staying there.

Keira spoke to me. “Kate says she doesn’t
want anything and Dane says he’d like some of your pork chops.
Though, I’m thinkin’ he’s only sayin’ that because he knows Kate
likes your pork chops. I told them about the hot fudge sundaes and
they’re both in.”

“All right, Keirry,” I said into the phone,
“though, it being summer, I think we’ll barbeque some pork
chops.”

Keira was silent. I was not queen of the
barbeque. Tim always grilled the food. Since he died I’d tried on
countless occasions and hadn’t had much success.

“It’ll be okay, I’ve got to get the hang of
it eventually. Maybe tonight’s our lucky night,” I told her.

“Maybe Joe could man the grill,” Keira
suggested and I laughed at the thought of sinister, rugged Joe
Callahan doing something as domestic as manning a grill.

“I can do it,” I replied.

“Great,” she muttered.

I grinned. “Get home, be safe, see you in a
couple hours.”

“Yeah, Momalicious.”

“Give Katy a cuddle for me.”

“I will,” she said and I knew she’d do it, my
girls were affectionate. They fought but the ill-will never lasted
long.

“Love you, baby,” I whispered into the phone
and Joe’s fingers tensed at my scalp.

“Love you too, Mom. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I pressed the off button and Joe’s hand at
his abs came to the phone and slid it out of my fingers. I lifted
up, he twisted and put it in its bed then twisted back to me,
full-on, rolling me to my back.

Then his hands and mouth started moving on
me, his hands on my ribs, his mouth at my neck.

“They’re leaving,” I told him.

“How much time we got?” he asked and my
stomach dipped.

“A couple of hours,” I answered and his hand
came up and curled around my breast.

“Plenty of time,” he muttered against the
underside of my jaw.

“Joe, we need to let Mooch out.”

“After.”

“Joe –”

“After.”

“Joe –” he pinched my nipple and that scored
straight through me so I whispered, “okay, after.”

His head came up and he was smiling then it
came down and he was kissing me.

Mooch, lucky for us, was patient.

* * * * *

We were in the kitchen when the kids arrived.
Joe was standing by the sink drinking coffee, his hair wet from his
shower. I was standing in the open fridge, a pad of paper in my
hand, making a grocery list. My hair was dry and styled. I’d taken
a shower first while Joe dealt with a phone call and I’d gotten
ready while Joe showered and dressed.

I’d never seen Joe shower. I’d never seen his
hair wet and it had been a long freaking time since I shared space
with a man while getting ready.

I liked it, all of it.

But when the kids got home, his eyes went to
the window then to me and he said, “They’re home, buddy,” I forgot
how much I liked his wet hair, standing in the steaming bathroom
while he showered and I wiped at the mirror and I panicked.

Joe saw it immediately and demanded,
“Relax.”

“Right,” I whispered.

He shook his head and grinned.

I closed the fridge, put down the pad of
paper and pen and we walked to the door.

Joe opened it and we walked out, Joe sliding
an arm around my shoulders and tucking me into his side as we
did.

Kate was out and standing in the door but
Keira burst from Dane’s truck and ran, arms windmilling, hair
flying behind her,
direct to
Joe.

“Joe!” she cried then skidded to a halt in
front of him and kept shouting, “I got up on water skis!”

Then I watched my body locked tight, as Joe’s
hand came up and out. He hooked it around Keira’s head, pulled her
to him as he bent low and he touched his mouth to her gleaming
hair.

“Way to go,” he muttered against her hair
then finished, “proud of you, honey.”

He let her go and I saw her body was locked
as tight as mine, her face frozen in wonder and she stayed that way
as Joe moved around her, going toward Kate.

I forced my eyes from a still motionless
Keira to Kate who was standing by the truck staring at Keira. Joe
walked right up to her, her body jolted when he arrived and she
tipped her head back, peering up at him, giving him the perfect
target when his head dipped down and he touched his lips to her
forehead.

“Glad you’re home safe, Katy,” I heard him
say, Kate’s head turned, her eyes cutting to me, her face filled
with the same wonder as Keira’s had been.

Honey.

Katy.

Holy crap but I didn’t know anything more
beautiful than Joe Callahan using those words with my daughters.
The only thing more beautiful was their father doing it but they’d
never have that, not ever again. This wasn’t the same, would never
be, but it wasn’t sloppy seconds either.

Joe took the bag Kate was holding from her
hand.

“Where’s Keira’s bag?” Joe asked.

“Back,” Kate said, her voice scratchy,
“truck,” she finished, clearly unable to form sentences.

Joe moved to the truck.

It took some effort but I pulled myself
together and said, “What? My girls are gone two days, they didn’t
let me say good-bye, they come home and no hugs?”

Keira came unstuck and jumped at me. I folded
her in my arms as Kate ran to us and joined our huddle. I gave them
squeezes, smelling their hair, feeling their bodies against mine
and letting that settle in my soul. Then I kissed each of their
temples in turn, Kate first, Keira last and let them go.

“Right, let’s get you unpacked,” I looked to
see Dane carrying a bag and hanging back and I smiled at him. “Hey
Dane, thanks for cutting your family time short and bringing them
home safe.”

“No probs, Miz Winters,” Dane replied,
grinning at me and coming forward.

Joe carried the girls’ bags in, Dane carried
his bag in, I held both my girls by the waist as we walked in.

An hour later, after the kids had unpacked,
played with Mooch in the yard and we ate a lunch of sandwiches and
chips, Joe took Dane to Fulsham’s Custard stand to buy a tub of
custard.

I sat the girls down at the stools by the bar
telling them we had to talk. They didn’t say anything, just gave
each other looks and went to their stools. They were on the dining
area side. I stood in the kitchen at the counter opposite them
trying not to hyperventilate.

For the last hour my head had gone over a
million ways to open this conversation and then decided all of them
were lame.

Therefore I stood there looking between them
not having that first clue what to say and, unfortunately, trying
to think of what to say I stayed silent a long time.

Kate spoke first. “We get it, Mawdy, you’re
with Joe.”

I stared at her.

“Yeah, no duh,” Keira put in.

“So,” I forced out, “you… this doesn’t come
as a surprise?”

Kate grinned and informed me, “Dane said a
man doesn’t fix a garage door opener unless he’s fixin’ to use that
garage.”

I felt my lips part. Even Dane had cottoned
onto the situation way before me.

“And he came to the mall with us. Guys like
Joe don’t go to malls,” Keira added, sounding wise beyond her
years.

“You’re not upset?” I asked and Kate shook
her head, still grinning so my eyes went to Keira and she was
watching me.

“Who was the chick?” she asked.

“The chick?” I asked back.

“Yeah, that lady he was with before you went
all…” she trailed off and then finished, “you know.”

I knew. She was talking about Nadia.

Shit.

“She was… a friend of Joe’s,” I answered.

“She his friend now?” Keira asked.

“No,” I replied instantly.

Keira kept watching me then went on. “So,
we’re his only friends now?”

I stared at my daughter and realized she
thought we were a unit which we were. Joe took us all or Joe didn’t
get us.

“Yeah, honey, we’re Joe’s only friends now,”
I said quietly.

“What about Mike?” Keira asked.

I drew in a breath and paused before letting
it out and saying, “Mike and I –”

“You’re better with Joe,” Keira cut in before
I could finish.

“What?” I asked.

“Mike’s awesome, and he’s hot, but I like the
way you are around Joe,” Keira told me.

“Me too,” Kate put in.

“And I like the way Joe is around you,” Keira
went on.

“Me too,” Kate repeated and my eyes were
going back and forth between my girls as they spoke.

“
Mike was way cool and we liked him with
you too, but he wasn’t the same,” Keira noted.

“He’s a wonderful man,” I said to her.

“Yeah, but he didn’t fix our garage door
opener,” Kate remarked.

“And you don’t look at him like you look at
Joe,” Keira stated.

“How do I…” I paused to swallow, not sure I
wanted to know not only how I looked at Joe but the way my girls
noticed I’d looked at Joe then asked, “look at Joe?”

Keira shrugged.

Kate answered, her eyes on me were intense,
“Like you looked at Dad.”

I closed my eyes. Joe was right, the girls
knew. They
so
knew. They
knew even more than
I
knew or at
least had admitted to myself.

With my eyes still closed, Kate went on. “And
he looks at you like Dad used to.”

Sock in the gut. Winded.

I got my breath back, opened my eyes and told
them, “Joe’s stayin’ a couple of months while his house is getting
renovated.”

“We know,” Kate replied.

“
No, baby, I mean… he’s
staying,
” I repeated, not sure how to explain it
to my teenage girls, worried I shouldn’t, worried, again, if I was
doing the right thing and hoping like hell it worked out with Joe
because firstly, I wanted it to work out with Joe so badly I tasted
it in my mouth and secondly, because I never wanted to have this
conversation with my daughters again.

“
Yeah, Mawdy,
we know
. Yeesh, it’s the twenty-first century,” Kate said
to me.

“
And it’s been, like,
months,
” Keira added, like I was slow off the
mark and it was about time I speeded things up.

“
Jenelle’s Mom moved her new boyfriend in
in like, I don’t know, a week,” Kate went on and I knew this was
true but Jenelle’s Mom was definitely a slut. She made me look like
a choirgirl. We’d lived there not a year and Kate’s friend
Jennelle’s Mom had moved
two
boyfriends in with her and her kids and moved both of them
out and was working on the third.

But I didn’t want them to think that this
was like Jenelle’s Mom or
I
was
like Jenelle’s Mom so I tried to explain.

“Joe and I… I don’t want you to think…” Damn,
this was hard, then my voice got soft, I looked between them and I
said, “He isn’t just a guy. It isn’t just because I’m lonely after
losin’ your Dad. It’s because he’s… Joe and he… means a lot to me
and you girls mean…” I paused then told them the truth as it hit me
right then, settled in and made me smile a small smile. “You mean
the world to him.”

“He’s lost everything so I figure he
appreciates what he’s found,” Kate noted sagely and I stared at her
again.

“You know about… everything with Joe?” I
asked.

“
Oh yeah, kids at school talk about it all
the time. About his wife and Dad and son and how he’s the lone wolf
after all that, the
hot
lone wolf,
the hot,
super cool
lone
wolf. You nab him you’ll be like… a
legend,
” Keira informed me then grinned and finished. “And we’ll
be legends too.”

“Yeah, ‘cause we get to live with Joe too,”
Kate added.

“And we call him Joe and no one calls him
Joe,” Keira put in.

“Yeah, we’re already kinda legends on that.
Dane tells everyone we call him Joe. They think it’s way cool,”
Kate said.

I didn’t like everyone at their school
talking about Joe, even though they obviously thought he was cool.
There was something about it that rattled me.

But I let that go, took in a breath
through my nose then I said, “You know, Joe’s moving in,
our
Joe, not hot, super cool, lone
wolf Joe that everyone talks about and him moving in makes you a
legend. He’s just a man, he might be a big and strong man but he’s
got feelings.”