At the Brink (22 page)

I’d always known that Josh had an eye for women. Sex was his preferred method to burn off steam and I had learned in the flesh that he played that game hard. But it was brutal for me to be in the same room with his ex-lovers. I couldn’t deal with it. I didn’t know how to.

My throat closed up.

“See that tall, strawberry blond in the green dress?” Ernest said. “She’s got some staying power, but just a little. He’s fucked her a half dozen times, but only because she’s a perseverant tramp. Do you see what I mean, Lily? You’re on the way out.”

I was
not
going to have a panic attack. I was
not
going to show my fears. I had to wade through my jumbled feelings to find the right emotion to rally my cause. I hit on just the one when my eyes fell on Lisa Artiaga: Insane jealousy. I was jealous of her, of all of those other women too, because they’d been with Josh. They’d had the only person I wanted. They still craved what I had.

One other emotion came to my rescue. A surge of protectiveness focused my thoughts. How did Ernest Chamberlain know about Josh’s lovers? Had Chamberlain paid them for information about Josh? Or did he reserve such bribes for worthless fools like me?

“Come see me.” Ernest tucked his card in my hand. “I wouldn’t mind a taste of you and you’ll need a future when this is over. Don’t take too long. Where will you land when Josh pushes the eject button?”

To his credit, he had a point. To my credit, it didn’t matter. My body tightened around my weighty center. My shoulders straightened. My chin raised in the air. I drew at least a full inch taller. Several things happened at the same time.

Josh looked back from the terrace, and finding me gone from my stool at the bar, abandoned Mr. DaSilva in what looked like midsentence. He marched back into the room and found Thomas pacing the edge of the dance floor. Thomas said something and pointed in my direction. In an instant, Josh’s expression transformed from disbelief into rage.

Uh-oh.

“As of this moment,” I said to Ernest-freaking-Chamberlain, “you are going to let me go and step out of my way. You will never, ever approach me like this again and every time you look in the mirror you’re going to see yourself as the filthy rat you are.”

Staring him in the eye, I let his card drop to the floor and stepped on it as I walked away. This time he let me go, because he spotted Josh launching like a rocket to the moon.

Trying to prevent the very public confrontation about to ensue, I bolted from the ballroom. Perhaps Josh would come after me instead. I also couldn’t wait any longer. The ache between my legs had become unbearable. My new friends had overstayed their welcome and I was ready to take matters into my own hands.

I made a straight line for the restroom, but as I entered the women’s lounge, Lisa Artiaga waited for me, blocking the entrance to the stalls.

“Why, if it isn’t my new friend Lily.” Her smile didn’t extend to her eyes. “Isn’t that a quaint name?”

“Really?” I couldn’t believe the night I was having. “You too?”

Had somebody drawn a target on my forehead and declared open season on me?

“Why so harried, Lily?” Lisa said. “Is nature calling or do you have hot plans? Tell me: What do you do for him that keeps you in play? Do you like to swing from the chandelier? Ride bareback, backward and upside down? Let me guess: Do you swallow whole swords?”

“I’m not having this conversation with you.”

She shoved me against the wall. “Listen to me, skank. You’re messing with the big leagues here. Josh Lane is not even in your division, so go back to wherever the hell you came from, and let me pitch my game without interference.”

This was like a scene from a very bad reality show. How could all these people be so nasty? Without saying a word, I shook off Lisa’s hold, walked out of the restroom and went for the elevators, ignoring the helpful attendant trying to remind me to collect my coat.

“Lily!” Josh rounded the corner before the elevator came up. “Where the hell are you going?”

“Home,” I said, urging the elevator doors to open, squeezing my legs together, barely able to hold back the hysteria overtaking my voice. “I’ve got to get out of here.”

“This way.” Josh took my hand, leading me back toward the kitchens. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you running away from me? Don’t you know that I can’t stand it when you take off like that?”

“Your friends suck.” I held back tears. “Did you know that?”

“What the hell happened?” He checked behind a door and then another one as we made our way down the long corridor.

“Your friends at this party are the sorriest, cruelest, most vicious bunch ever assembled in one place,” I said. “And that includes high schools all over America.”

He pulled me into an opening without a door, a crowded storage area, full of folded tables and stacked chairs piled all the way to the ceiling. He negotiated around the stored furnishings, leading me to the back of the space. He halted by the windows, where in addition to a spectacular view, the city lights offered a little illumination.

“Are you crying?” He bracketed my face with his hands. “Please don’t cry. I can’t stand it. Christ, Lily, did that asshole offend you?”

“These are tears of loathing,” I said. “Why don’t you hang out with Mac and Baez or with Antoine and Francoise instead of these jerks? Those people out there, they’re not nice.”

“It’s business, Lily. Why are you so upset?”

I couldn’t very well tell him about Lisa Artiaga or Thomas Stratton, and I feared that any mention of Ernest Chamberlain’s appalling proposal would cause a major commotion and end up destroying whatever little trust I’d managed to build with Josh. All I could muster was a warning, and only because I was afraid for him.

“Josh, you have to be careful,” I said. “Those people will screw you and I don’t mean that figuratively.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“They have no scruples. They’ll do anything to get what they want.”

“It’s how it works, Lily. It’s part of the cost of doing business.”

“They know a lot about you,” I said. “Private things.”

“Like what?”

“Like where you go and who you take to your bed.” I couldn’t repress the shudder coursing through me. “All those women, Josh, you and them.”

“Who told you about that?”

“Everybody knows,” I said. “And you just confirmed it.”

“Ah.” His mouth set into a grim line.

“I know what I am to you.” Chamberlain had called it what it was. I choked back a sob. “I’m just another one of your whores.”

“Jesus, Lily, don’t say that.” He hugged me against his chest and kissed the top of my head. “It’s not true. Please, sweet, don’t cry. I don’t want you hurting.”

“What does it matter how I feel?” My voice sounded frail. “I’m just part of a business deal to you, another contract for your files. You and me? Not real. Cut me loose. Send me away sooner rather than later. Those women...don’t put me through this hell. I want out.”

He tilted my chin and met my eyes. “You don’t really mean that, Lily.”

“I do,” I sobbed. “I can’t handle this. Don’t make me stand by while you fuck every woman in the room. Don’t play with my emotions, making me feel as though you care. When are you going to let me go?”

“I don’t want those women.” He landed a fiery kiss on my lips, the contact full of a fear and desperation I’d never sensed from Josh before. “I want you. I’m sorry things got out of hand tonight. I know you’re upset. Let me help you.”

He fitted his hand between my legs, grabbed the little golden ring and tugged gently. My body gave way twice and the balls were out. I clutched at the void, relieved but also hollow, bereft and vacant like an empty house.

“I know what you need,” he said, sitting at the top of a three-chair stack. “Believe me, I need it too.”

His cock was already out of his pants as he drew me onto his lap. Maybe I should’ve said no, but I was still crying and I had no will of my own, no strength to reject what I wanted most. He entered me slowly as I straddled him, refilling the empty space in me. I bent my knees and glided down his shaft as if my body had been waiting for him all night. The feel of him was overpowering. I swiveled my hips. We both groaned at the same time.

“Jesus fucking Christ. Move, Lily, move however you want to.”

I moved, rocking back and forth and swaying from side to side like a puppet mounted on a spring. It was strange. After everything that had happened, I should’ve been embarrassed or at least reluctant to have sex with Josh, especially in this crowded corner that didn’t even have a door for privacy. But none of it mattered. Josh’s arms separated me from the rest of the world. His lips were magnets to my mouth. His hands unzipped the back of my dress and pulled it down to free my breasts. His cock centered me in the moment.

“You need to come, Lily.” He bounced me on his lap. “You need to come right away. Can you do that?”

I closed my eyes and arched my back. He caught my nipple in his mouth, raking it with his teeth. He cupped my ass, pulled my cheeks apart and plunged in me with a deep, delicious thrust.

“Never,” he rasped.

“What?”

“The answer to your question.” He kissed me. “I’m never going to send you away and I’m never going to let you go.”

“Never?” I bobbed on his lap, too far gone to ascertain fact from fiction.

“Never,” he said again. “You’re it.”

“
It?
” I mumbled, teetering at the brink of a spectacular orgasm.

“I want you to come, Lily,” he said. “You’re my it, and you’re going to come for me real hard right now.”

I came undone. I quaked in his arms. I wouldn’t stop, couldn’t stop coming. I felt him shudder, sensed my sex flood with his come, felt him relax and yet my body generated wave after wave of delicious pleasure. My mind went blank. And even though afterwards I couldn’t remember my name or what I was doing in the dingy storage room, I knew that something between us had changed for good.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Josh

We left the party through the service elevator. I called Amman and asked him to retrieve our coats. He met us in the underground garage. Lily was still wobbly on her legs, but at least she wasn’t crying anymore. Christ, the sight of those tears had shredded my guts. I inspected my knuckles. They weren’t bruised, but Ernest Chamberlain’s face would surely be tomorrow. Motherfucker. He deserved what he got.

Amman made eye contact with me through the rear view mirror. “Where to?”

“The Commons,” I said, undoing my black tie. “Tremont, near the corner with Boylston.”

“Where are we going?” Lily asked.

“I want to make it up to you,” I said, “for the other day, on the stairs. And for a lousy party tonight.”

“It got better toward the end.” She smiled shyly.

I leaned over and kissed her smile, even though it was crooked and her eyes were still glazed with the kind of pain that enraged me. I pulled the monogrammed balls out of my pocket and put them in her hand. They were still warm from her body.

“Here you go.”

“What am I supposed to do with these?”

“Keep them,” I said. “Enjoy them. They’re yours. Okay?”

She put them away in her clutch.

I squeezed her hand just as my phone rang. I looked at the caller I.D. Hell, I’d better take the call or the witch might show up at my door.

I clicked on the call. “What is it?”

“Damn it, Josh, you said you’d come,” the woman on the other end of the line said.

“No,
you
said I should come. I said I was busy.”

“You said that Friday would be good for you.”

“Not this Friday.”

“Don’t be an ass,” she said. “Be there or be prepared to tangle with me.”

“Ha,” I said. “I’m trembling in my boots.”

“See you Friday.” She hung up the phone.

“Who was that?” Lily asked.

“No one,” I said.

The light in her eyes waned.

“No one important,” I clarified. “Look, we can’t go on with you miserable and paranoid.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t have to,” I said. “I don’t blame you, Lily. Your father, Martin, you’ve got a lot of stuff to sort through, but I’m not them, and I don’t want to be stuck in the mud forever.”

“Don’t you dare try to psychoanalyze me,” she said. “It’s not like you don’t have a history of your own.”

If I was going to achieve all my objectives tonight, I had to tackle this here and now. “Look, Lily, here’s how it goes: I like sex.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“I’ve had plenty of it, safe, fun and, in some cases, very naughty.”

She rolled her eyes. “No kidding.”

“All my affairs were consensual, brief and based on clear expectations. And all of them happened
before
I met you.”

“Susannah Phelps?”

She wasn’t going to make this easy. “Don’t tell me you want to go down the list?”

She crossed her arms and stared at me. “Susannah Phelps?”

“No!”

“The blond bombshell with the boobs? The rich girl with the fat ass? The heiress and the very skilled jet setter?”

I raked my hands through my hair. “Jesus Christ.”

“He’s not coming to help you.”

“Fine,” I said. “But it all happened before I met you. Remember that.”

“Doctor Stevens?”

I sighed. “We met a very long time ago. We had a tryst, but we quickly became friends. I helped finance her practice and we’ve been friends ever since.”

“That’s why the doctor knew that being with you would be enjoyable.” Lily took a deep breath. “Lisa Artiaga?”

“Ah, hell, Lily. Yes. That was probably a mistake.”

“No kidding,” Lily said. “Your assistant?”

“Alice?” I swore a string of nasty obscenities. “What are you, crazy? Give me some credit, here. I don’t do it with my staff. Ever. Alice is married. She’s got two kids and a husband who’s crazy about her.”

Lily looked out the window. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I say we clear the slate and start again, giving me the benefit of the doubt.”

“I feel better already,” she said wryly.

“Are you jealous, Lily Bee?”

“Of course I’m jealous.” She flashed me an ornery look. “Wouldn’t you be jealous if you knew what I know?”

“Spitting mad jealous,” I said. “But you’ve got nothing to worry about. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted to fuck until you’re senseless and I’m dead. You’re the only one who I can’t stop wanting to fuck. You’re the only one I want to fuck right now.”

“Hush,” she said. “You’re making Amman blush.”

Amman chose the moment to speak. “Tremont and Boylston.”

“Park over there,” I said.

Lily looked out the window. “The AMC Multiplex?” Her surprised gaze shifted to me. “Are we going to the movies?”

“See?” I opened the door. “You’re the only woman I’ve brought to the movies in a million years.”

That put a smile to her face. “We’re going dressed like this?”

“Why not?” I helped her out of the car. “After all, it’s a special occasion, at least for me. Amman, you can go home now.”

“No, I can’t,” Amman said.

“Why not?”

“Miss Lily is wearing heels,” he said.

“So?”

“Her feet will hurt if you make her walk home.”

“Oh, don’t worry about me, Amman,” Lily said. “Go home to your wife. Isn’t today your anniversary?”

Of course it was, and I should have known better, since I’d been the best man at the wedding. “Damn it, Amman, why didn’t you remind me? I would’ve given you the night off.”

“It wasn’t necessary,” Amman said.

“Well, then, get going.”

“I’d rather wait.”

“Really, Amman,” Lily said. “I don’t know why, but these shoes are super comfortable. I’ll be fine.”

“Yes, Amman,” I said, annoyed. “Those shoes are prototypes from a high fashion house, built to state of the art engineering specifications that balance the foot’s angle for optimum comfort.”

Lily stared at her feet. “Wow.”

“You,” I said, landing my hands on Lily’s shoulders and pointing her toward the building. “Go get in line. You,” I said to Amman. “Go home.”

“Somerville is far away,” he said. “I’m not leaving you without protection.”

“Lily is not going to walk to Somerville, okay?” Amman was pissing me off. “I’m not that clueless. I got this.”

“Are you packing?” he said.

“No, I’m not packing.” Ernest Chamberlain should be very grateful for that. “I was at a benefit, remember? My Sig Sauer didn’t match my cufflinks.”

“I’m staying.” Amman fisted a hand around the wheel. “And don’t waste your time trying to talk me out of doing my job. Riker would have my head if I left you behind without protective detail.”

“Fine.” I slammed the door. “Have it your way.”

Sometimes my friends were as stubborn as my enemies.

I caught up with Lily at the window.

“Three movies starting within the next five minutes,” she said.

“Your pick.”

“Really?” she said. “I thought it was all about what you wanted, when you wanted.”

“You’re getting finicky in your old age,” I said. “I’m letting you pick.”

“Lucky me. Um...” She studied the movies listed on the electronic screen. “I say we go for the zombie one.”

“Ouch,” I said.

“Well, there’s a thriller about hunting Osama Bin Laden.”

“Pass.” I’d already seen that movie for real.

“The other movie is about a vampire.”

“If the vampire shines like diamonds under the sun, I can’t do it.”

She shrugged. “We’re back to zombies.”

“Is there any fucking in this movie?”

“I sure hope not, ’cause that would be creepy.” She flashed a funny grimace. “This one is about a zombie who falls in love with a girl and gets de-zombified because he loves her.”

“Sounds like a pile of crap.” I bought the tickets anyway. “If I get bored you’re going to have to suck my dick to keep me awake.”

Her eyes widened.

“Just kidding.” I grinned. “You can give me head
after
the movie.”

She slapped my arm. “You’re impossible.”

It turned out the movie wasn’t half bad and transitioned us out of what could’ve easily been the worst night of my life. Lily enjoyed the picture and I liked that she liked it. The theater was only about half full, but we stood out, because we were the only fools dressed in formal attire. Lily thought it was hilarious.

“Thanks for coming with me.” She planted a quick kiss on my cheek and although sucking my cock would’ve been better, her kiss felt pretty good too.

“Home,” I said to Amman, when we got back in the car.

Amman applied the brake a bit too suddenly. “You mean Miss Lily’s place?”

“No, I mean
my
place.” I looked over to Lily. “You’re sleeping over.”

“Don’t I get to choose?”

“Sorry,” I said. “It’s twelve-oh-five. Your day off is over.”

“I guess I’m back on the clock.”

“Objections?”

“None noted,” she said. “Why is Amman so shocked?”

“Because he’s a damn fool.”

“No, really,” she said. “I want to know.”

“Because despite all the rumors you might have heard tonight, I don’t bring women to my house.”

“Oh.” I could tell she was confused. “Why not?”

“Security protocol,” I said. “Plus, I like to keep my place private.”

“So where do you go?” Lily asked.

“That’s a badass question.”

She crossed her arms and stared. “Well?”

“Fine,” I said, exasperated, “but you’re not going to like my answer. Sometimes we go to hotels. Sometimes we go to their places. Sometimes we go to other places.”

“Like where?”

“You’re a nosy little witch.”

“Oh, come on. Where?”

“There are places where the naughty can have a good time pushing the edge.”

“But—”

“That’s it, Lily. I’ve indulged your curiosity. In any case, we’re here.” I helped her out of the car and, after dismissing Amman, escorted her up the stairs to the townhouse.

“Let me think,” I said, standing by the front door. “We did the movie thing. I brought you home. Oh, yes, now I get to kiss you.”

I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her very softly on the lips.

She giggled against my mouth.

“What’s so funny?”

“You are,” she said. “Pretending we’re on a date like the one I described to you that night on my porch. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You were dead set against dating...”

“Is that so?” I said. “Well, if that was the case, I think I’ve changed my mind.”

“How so?”

I kissed her again. “I like dating you.”