At The Stroke Of Midnight (8 page)

"Sebastian, no.
 
Please.
 
Stop."
 
This time, there was
a note of steel in her voice and it was enough to make him pause and take
notice.
 
"We cannot do this.
 
It is not fair.
 
To either of us.
 
No
matter how much both of us desire it."

Pulling back, he stroked her lips
with the pads of his thumbs.
 
"When
has life ever been fair, Jane?
 
To
either of us?"
 
He was also
gratified to note that she had admitted that she desired him as well.
 
It gave him hope that he might yet find a
way to have her.

"Never," she conceded,
"but what happens when, as it inevitably will, I am sent away and you are
forced to marry Lizzie?
 
Who, might I
add, does not love you, either.
 
In
fact, she thinks you are boring and has her cap set for the Duke of
Hathaway."

Sebastian paused for a moment,
filing that information away for later.
 
So, Lizzie did not want him, either.
 
Perhaps he could use that to his advantage at some pint in the
future.
 
"Adam will not marry
her," he finally said, deciding to address the one issue he was certain
of.
 
"His affections are engaged
elsewhere, though I am not certain the lady feels the same.
 
Or if she even knows of his
affections."

"And if he cannot have the
woman he desires, he will take his time in selecting a bride who will not love
him or believe that she can change him."
 
Jane had seen that same scenario play out hundreds of times across the
ballrooms of London over her previous seasons.
 
"He will search until he finds a woman who does not love him and
will not expect anything more from him than a child and an elegant, lavish
lifestyle."

Despite the gravity of the
situation, Sebastian smiled.
 
His Jane
was far more intelligent than he had even guessed.
 
"I said you were far more clever than anyone gave you credit
for.
 
You are not some empty-headed
piece of fluff.
 
You are
perfect."
 
Then his smile faded, as
if he realized what he had just said.
 
"You are perfect for me, anyway."

"And you for me,
Sebastian."
 
Jane felt the truth of
it in her bones.
 
She had known it from
the very moment they met, as odd as that seemed.
 
She also remembered her mother saying once that she knew she was
destined to marry the Earl of Devonmont from the moment they met as well.
 
Jane felt the same about Sebastian.
 
Like mother, like daughter, she supposed.

"But I cannot have you, can
I?"
 
Sometime in the last few
moments, the futility of the task before him began to sink in and Sebastian
finally realized just how monumental a task he had set out for himself.
 
"I was just so thrilled to see you
again, to be close to you, that I forgot myself.
 
When I am near you, my mind is muddled and I cannot think
properly.
 
Or rationally."

Jane reached up to cradle his cheek
with her palm, relaxing her body against his just for the moment, needing to
feel the long length of him against her.
 
"For what it is worth, I felt the same.
 
I still do.
 
The last two
days have been torture as I watched you court Lizzie.
 
I thought you forgot about me or that you didn't truly care.
 
Not as I care for you, anyway.
 
That our night in the garden was just a bit
of fun you were having with an old, on-the-shelf spinster."

"Never!"
 
Sebastian's passion had returned now in full
force, and he pressed her back into the wall, eliciting a gasp of surprise from
between her lips.
 
"I tried to get
a message to you so many times, but I believe that my efforts were thwarted by
my valet.
 
He was my father's valet
before mine, and I fear he is more loyal to my mother than to me."
 
He pressed himself closer to Jane still,
nestling his hips against hers, vaguely aware of the smell of pine that was now
wafting through the air around them.
 
He
must have stepped on a bloody decoration or something.
 
"I would never hurt you, Jane.
 
Not intentionally, anyway.
 
I promise.
 
You must believe that."

She stroked her fingers through his
hair, marveling at the softness of it.
 
He was so sincere, and she could see a measure of pain reflected in his
eyes.
 
It was pain she felt as
well.
 
"I do.
 
I believe you.
 
But that does not change anything, Sebastian.
 
Our courses have been plotted.
 
At this time next year, I will be serving as
governess to what I am given to understand is a nine-year-old hoyden of a child
in the wilds of the Scottish Highlands.
 
There are other children as well, and, in time, I will fulfill that same
role to them.
 
I will not be at
Blackstone.
 
Probably never
again."
 
She swallowed hard, still
allowing her fingers to toy with the ends of his hair.
 
"But you will be.
 
With your wife.
 
My sister.
 
And that is
something I cannot bear to watch."

"But we are here now, and I
have yet to sign the papers binding me to Lizzie.
 
I am not convinced that I will sign them in any event."
 
He shifted Jane in his grasp so that he
might position himself snugly between her legs.
 
"But you are correct when you say that we must prepare for
the fact that I might not be successful in my quest to win you."
 
Typically, Sebastian was not given to
thoughts of failure, but, at the moment anyway, he had no idea how to extricate
them both from this messy situation.
 
"And you are here now."

Jane eyed him shrewdly, trying to
discern what he was about.
 
"What
are you suggesting?"

"If this is truly to be your
last Christmas at Blackstone, then allow me to make it memorable.
 
Let me show you how much I care and that I
am, indeed, trying to find a way to fight for you that will not harm so very
many others."
 
He brought his
forehead down to rest against hers, something he could not do with another
woman.
 
"Let me prove to you that I
do, indeed, care."

Jane knew she should refuse his
offer.
 
This proposition of his could
only lead to heartache.
 
On the other
hand, she had three days until Christmas Eve when the engagement was to be
announced.
 
If she was not with him now,
there would never be another opportunity.
 
Lizzie might want to wait until spring to announce her impending
nuptials but Jane was no fool where her father and Angeline were concerned.
 
Their goal was to announce the wedding and
then remove Jane from Sebastian's grasp.
 
There would be no waiting.

Not to mention that Christmas was
never a happy time for her anyway and she doubted that next year in Scotland,
so far from all that was familiar to her, would be any different.
 
Her holiday cheer, as well as any her father
might have had, had died with her mother.
 
It was not returning any time soon.
 
Though he could not know it, Sebastian was offering her both the moon
and the stars.
 
He was offering her a
happy Christmas season, even though the ending would, in all likelihood, be
bitter.
 
It would not be the first time.

Still, if she did not spend time
with the man she desired now, she never would.
 
Was it not better to take what was offered and enjoy than to never be
offered it at all?
 
She knew that both
Amy and Caroline believed in that philosophy but she had the feeling that, were
her friends here, they would urge her to proceed with caution.

For once, Jane did not want to be
cautious.
 
Where had being the good
daughter ever gotten her?
 
Precisely
nowhere.
 
She was tired of rules that
did her little good when compared to the other young women who broke them with
some frequency, yet somehow managed to get away with it.
 
Women like her sister.
 
Women who were given whatever they desired
simply because they were pretty.

Jane trailed her hand over
Sebastian's face, learning the curve of his lips and nose, the arch of his
cheekbones and the slash of his brow.
 
In such a short time, those features had become so very dear to
her.
 
Losing him would destroy her, but
then, her life in London was already forfeit.
 
She could not go back.
 
All she
could do was go forward and take the memory of this perfect Christmas with her.

"I should say no," she began
but he cut her off with a cheeky grin and a finger to her lips.

"But you won't."

She shook her head.
 
Why be coy?
 
There was no purpose to it.
 
"No, I won't.
 
I surely damn
myself but I want you, Sebastian.
 
And
if I do not enjoy your company now, I never will."
 
He started to protest but it was her turn to
put a finger to his lips.
 
"I
believe that you mean to try, but we both know the odds.
 
It is unlikely that either of us will ever
achieve the future we seek."
 

Then she decided to be bold and
leaned forward to kiss a spot just beneath his chin.
 
His valet had missed it shaving and there was a light growth of
stubble there.
 
She wished to discover
how it felt against her lips and was not disappointed in the rough, scratchy
sensation.
 
In fact she rather liked
it.
 
"So we will take the here and
now and in three days when the clock strikes midnight and Christmas Day
arrives?
 
We will part.
 
Agreed?"

At first, Jane thought Sebastian
might protest, even though this little assignation was essentially his idea.
 
However, he moved closer to her, pressing
her body hard into the wall, allowing her to feel the hard length of his
erection against her thigh.
 
"It is
not exactly what I want, but it is better than I had hoped.
 
I will take what you offer, my beloved
Jane.
 
But believe me when I say that I
will not stop in my quest to truly make you mine."

Then he kissed her and all thoughts
of protest flew from Jane's mind.
 
Sebastian's mouth was hot on hers and she realized that this was what
she had longed for in the dark of night these past few months.
 
Dreams of Sebastian had fueled her.
 
She knew that.
 
However, she hadn't realized precisely how much until this moment
when she felt his hands start to skim the length of her body, learning every
curve and indentation.

When he tugged down her bodice to
free her breast, she did not protest but instead shifted to give him better
access.
 
Whatever he asked for, she
would give without hesitation.
 
When he
drew her peaked nipple into his mouth, she nearly cried out from the pleasure
of it.
 
This was far beyond what she had
imagined.
 
Of course, she had nothing
specific in mind when she had agreed to see Sebastian over the next few days.
 
He, however, obviously had.

Then he freed her other breast,
taking the soft mound in his hands and kneading her until she was weak-kneed
and writhing against him.
 
More.
 
She wanted more.
 
But she had no idea how to ask, or, more importantly, what she
was asking for.
 
All she knew was that
she craved more of Sebastian and his touch.
 
How she would live without this when she was gone from here, she did not
know.
 
Just then, however, it did not
matter.
 
Nothing mattered but him and
the way he was making her feel.

Sebastian picked that precise
moment to do something marvelous with his tongue and at that, Jane was
lost.
 
Was her head not already buried
into his shoulder, she feared that all of Blackstone would have heard her
keening cries of delight.

"You left the ball early last
night, Jane.
 
I thought we discussed
this.
 
You are to be present at all of
the events during the house party.
 
Illness is not an excuse.
 
Nor
will it make your father and I change your mind about sending you to Scotland.
 
In fact, I think sending you today might be
a good idea if you continue to remain so obstinate."

Angeline glared at Jane across the
breakfast table, as if she had somehow single handedly ruined the house
party.
 
Struck mute for a moment, there
was nothing Jane could say to defend herself.
 
However, she was also certain that Angeline did not know about Jane's
meeting with Sebastian the night before.
 
If she had, Jane would be in a coach traveling north at this very
moment.

"Now, darling, do not be so
hard on the girl."
 
Jane could not
believe that her father was finally taking her part in things, especially not
when he had remained silent these last many years, allowing his new wife to
berate Jane at will.
 
"I spoke with
Tildon earlier and she was seeing about acquiring more candles for the guests
to find their rooms.
 
It was a small but
important thing and we all forgot, save Jane.
 
He was informing me this morning how much he valued her help."

Tildon had been the butler at
Blackstone when her mother had been alive, and Jane was thankful that he was
loyal, if not to her, then to her mother's memory at the very least.
 
He had lied for her.
 
To her father.
 
She would have to make certain to thank him later.

"Is that true,
Jane?"
 
There was suspicion in
Angeline's eyes and Jane wondered if her stepmother knew about the previous
relationship between Jane and Sebastian.
 
She probably did, at least if what Sebastian had told her last night was
true and she had no reason to doubt him.

Nodding, Jane bit her lip and
prayed that Angeline had been so preoccupied by faro that she would not think
to take into account the missing hour in between the sound of the gong and the
time Jane had emerged from the back hallway to find Tildon searching in vain
for more candles so that the guests would not injure themselves as they left
the ball for their rooms.

"It is."
 
Somehow she managed to find her voice and
keep it steady.
 
"I was checking on
another issue for a guest, a request for more hot bricks, actually, when Tildon
stopped me in the hallway.
 
As I know
how important this house party is to everyone, I did not want any guest to
think that we did not care about their safety.
 
Most of the candles are in use for the decorations, so it was a bit
difficult to locate enough.
 
It took
some degree of searching.
 
My apologies
if I was not quick enough to suit some of the guests."

Of course, the fact that she had
still been weak-kneed and reeling from Sebastian's attentions hadn't helped,
either.
 
Even now, Jane could still feel
the press of his lips on her body and the way he had given her more pleasure
than she had ever known simply by suckling her breasts.

Later, when we are well and
truly alone, you will come for me again, Jane.
 
And that time, I will take you as you cry out for me, my name on your
lips.

She could still hear the heated
words Sebastian had spoken in her ear as they parted, him slipping away into
the darkness as footfalls rapidly approached in the other direction.
 
Even now they made her tingle in places that
a gently bred lady ought not to think about. Then again, in a few more days,
she would cease to be a gently bred lady and would sink to a middle ground
where she was neither peer nor servant.
 
Instead, she would be somewhere in between.
 
If she would not think of them now, then when?
 
Never, most likely.

Jane wanted to further defend
herself, but instead sat silently, her hands in her lap, waiting for Angeline's
response.
 
Now was not the time to fight
back against what she viewed as years of harsh treatment.
 
If she kicked up a fuss, Angeline might send
her away today, before her time with Sebastian had even begun.
 
Her father would certainly not protect her,
this morning's light reprimand of his wife not withstanding.
 
That could not be allowed to happen.
 
Jane wanted her three days with Sebastian
and she would have them.

"I am surprised that you did not
encounter the earl," Lizzie piped up cheerfully.
 
Sometime over night, she seemed to have accepted that Sebastian
was to be her fate and not the duke.
 
"He left the ball early as well, claiming fatigue.
 
I am uncertain about his health, to be
honest.
 
He seems a bit feeble and
elderly to me, and, well, you, Janie, do have a habit of helping the elderly
when they are in need."

"I did not see him," Jane
replied shaking her head and praying that her face did not flush as she
lied.
 
"Then again, I was not looking
for him either.
 
I was more concerned
with locating the candles."

Her father snorted and all heads
turned in his direction.
 
"Fatigue.
 
Bloody
unlikely.
 
Are you certain we should be
pushing this marriage, wife?"
 
He
looked directly at Angeline as he asked the question and Jane was certain she
saw some kind of silent communication pass between the two of them.
 
"Covington isn't young any longer,
either.
 
Maybe he's too old to, well,
you know...
 
Sire children?
 
And isn't that the point of this union?
 
To provide an heir?"

Jane did her best not to gasp
aloud.
 
Her father
never
spoke of
such unseemly things, especially not with her and Lizzie around.
 
That was not proper and just not done.
 
It made her wonder how much of this plan to
wed Lizzie and Sebastian was her father's and how much of it was
Angeline's.
 
Perhaps more Angeline's
than Jane had originally suspected.

She also knew good and well that
Sebastian was more than able to sire children.
 
Or she suspected he was.
 
Perhaps
not with her, as she
was
a bit on the aged side, but with Lizzie
certainly.
 
She had felt the evidence of
his ability pressing against her leg mere hours ago.

"Charles!
 
That is no way to talk in front of the
girls!"
 
Angeline was
outraged.
 
Or acting outraged anyway.
 
Though Jane saw the way her stepmother's
gaze constantly strayed to her, as if waiting for her to add to the
conversation.
 
She would not give her
stepmother the satisfaction.

For his part, her father
shrugged.
 
"Maybe it is.
 
Lizzie will be married soon enough, and Jane
will be off in a rough part of Scotland.
 
They both need to know what lies ahead."
 
Then he pushed away from the table, stalking away in anger, and
Jane would have given her closet full of dresses to know what he was
thinking.
 
This was not like the father
she knew.
 
He was rough at the edges at
times, especially with her, but he was never crude.

"Well, I never!"
 
Angeline watched his retreating back before
rising herself and summoning Lizzie to accompany her.
 
"Come, my darling Elizabeth.
 
There are things I feel we must address immediately before your
mind concocts the entirely wrong idea!"

Then they were both gone in a swirl
of muslin, silk, and rosewater, leaving Jane still seated at the table as if
she wasn't there at all.

"Well that was entertaining.
 
Is that the way your family usually begins
the day, sweetheart?"
 
Sebastian
sauntered into the breakfast room looking every bit as sinfully gorgeous as he
had the previous night.
 
This morning he
was clad in fawn-colored breeches and a midnight blue waistcoat that deepened
the brown of both his eyes and his hair.
 
He looked good enough to eat, at least in her opinion.

Jane rose to her feet in a panic,
nearly taking the delicate lace tablecloth with her.
 
"Shhh," she admonished, smoothing down the front of her
plain, pale yellow day dress, not wanting Sebastian to see her looking
untidy.
 
"Keep your voice
down.
 
I don't want anyone to hear you.
 
My family already suspects..."

"Suspects what?
 
That I prefer you to your sister?"
 
He gestured for her to retake her seat and
when she did, he sank down into the chair Angeline had just vacated.
 
"They already know that, my
dear."
 
He shrugged as if the
knowledge didn't matter and maybe to him it didn't.
 
"Well, perhaps Lizzie doesn't.
 
I'm not certain she pays attention to anything that isn't fashion
or gossip.
 
Or Adam.
 
And don't think for a moment that she has
given up on him even though she pretends to accept this union your father is
forcing upon her."

Jane resisted the urge to smile and
therefore encourage him.
 
Her situation
was tenuous at best.
 
"You do seem
to know my sister fairly well."
 
That hurt she realized.
 
More
than it should.

Sebastian shook his head in
disagreement.
 
"No, I know
debutantes fairly well," he countered and picked up a piece of toast from
one of the abandoned serving plates.
 
"And your sister is a classic, spoiled debutante who thinks that
anything or any man she desires will be hers if she only wishes hard enough and
bats her eyes enough times."

There was no way Jane could argue with
that.
 
"Fine," she agreed,
slowly picking at her own breakfast.
 
She had lost her appetite, it seemed.
 
"But you still should not be seen with me.
 
They will know we are up to something.
 
And the servants will tell tales.
 
You know that they will."

At that, Sebastian pinned her with
his dark stare.
 
This morning, his eyes
were akin to melting chocolate left out in the summer sun and she wanted
nothing more than to fall into them and lose herself.
 
"I promise you, sweetheart, they will not suspect.
 
We will be discreet.
 
I have even made it a point to, shall we
say, entice the servants into keeping quiet and providing us with alibis.
 
Not that many of them needed much encouragement,
at least not where you are concerned."

That gave Jane pause.
 
No man had bribed servants on her behalf
before.
 
She felt rather flattered.
 
"Thank you.
 
I think."
 
What else
could she say, really, that didn't sound ungrateful.
 
"But you didn't have to."

"Ah, but I do," he
assured her, leaning back in his chair, that same sexy smile she was coming to
know so well on his lips.
 
"You
see, in order for us to spend any time together and not be missed, we must be
engaged elsewhere.
 
Separately, of course.
 
Or at least appear to be."
 
He tilted his head and gave her a slow and
steady perusal.
 
"And you must
truly be an exceptional woman to earn such fierce loyalty from your
servants.
 
There is no question after
this morning that their loyalty lies with you before all others in your
family.
 
I've not seen the like of it
before, I must confess."

"I am afraid you have lost me,
Sebastian.
 
I do not know quite what you
are getting at."
 
Jane truly did
not.
 
The servants were loyal to her
father, and, perhaps, to some degree, Angeline.
 
Not to her.

Sebastian immediately dropped the
indolent rake act and leaned forward, his expression eager.
 
"This morning, I went to see your maid,
Colleen.
 
I wanted her help in spiriting
you away from the manor for a few hours this morning, but did not know quite
how to go about it.
 
Yet I was
reasonably certain that if anyone could provide me with direction, it would be
her."

"She's been with me since my
childhood."
 
The daughter of an
upstairs maid, Colleen had been raised in the nursery with Jane for a time, at
least until Angeline had arrived and declared the entire arrangement
unseemly.
 
However, the bond that had
formed in youth could not be broken, and Jane knew that Colleen
was
loyal, almost to a fault.
 
That still
did not completely explain things, however.