Atonement (Heart of Stone) (6 page)

     
Slamming the bottle in front of him on the table I gave him my best
glare and leaned towards him.

His mates were currently fucking a couple of girls on the
long Chesterfield sofa decorating the back wall whilst Puss and Brandi shared a
pole, topless and making out as Kade sat alone in the corner of the room,
observing both sets of entertainment.

His eyes swung to me as I reached in, “Do you have a
death wish? Mason’s here.”

He smirked but slid his forefinger down the length of my
arm, triggering a shiver as well as fear and I shot a glimpse at the door to
make sure Mason hadn’t followed me.

“Don’t, Kade.” I warned.

He rolled his lips, his eyes locking me down with their
potent lust. “Just…miss you, Ava.”

I sighed again. This man was ruthless in his persistent
pursuit on me. It had been just past seven years now and I thought, no hoped,
he had moved on. If Mason knew how Kade still kept in touch with me; his never
ending texts, phone calls and e-mails, shit would hit the fan quicker than it
slid off a shovel.

“There was never anything between us to miss, Kade.”

He scoffed but I noticed the hurt cover his features,
“Maybe not for you, sweetheart.”

I settled my arse on the edge of the table and took his
hand in mine, hoping my comfort wasn’t misconstrued. “Kade, you need to
understand, after seven years containing just a couple of fucks, there was
nothing more ever from me. I told you this at the time. You need to find
someone who will love you as much as you reciprocate that love. You deserve
that.”

His teeth sank into his bottom lip but he nodded
slightly. “I know, I know this Ava, but…” he shrugged again, unable to say the
words that would cause him pain.

“Listen, we’re all going up to Greg’s cabin this weekend
to celebrate Mason’s fortieth. I am probably gonna regret this with my marriage
already a little strained, but why don’t you join us, that’s if you don’t mind
kipping on the floor. There are a few friends, female friends, of Marcy’s and
Courtney’s going and…well, you never know.”

He frowned but stared at me before he smiled, “Okay, you
sure it won’t cause problems?”

I snorted and huffed, “Kade, believe me, you won’t hurt
my marriage any more than it’s hurting right now.”

He frowned with concern, “Everything okay?”

I shrugged but gave him a confident smile, “I’m sure it
will be.”

I lifted my backside and stepped away but his fingers
closed around my wrist and I turned back to him. “I…just thanks really. I’m
glad we can be friends.”

“Me too” I answered honestly.

I just hoped I hadn’t completely severed the last
remaining thread holding my marriage together, but I cared about Kade, I always
had done and I hated to be the cause of his heartache.

He needed to move on now. Seven years was too long to
hold onto a hope of something that would never be, never mind something that
never was.

I plonked my weary arse on a stool at the bar and groaned
into my palms. What a shit bloody day. “Okay, honey?” Owen asked and I lifted
my face with a fake smile and nodded.

“You get off. It’s died down now; just a few stragglers
left and I can handle ‘em.”

“You sure?” I asked with a yawn.

He laughed and nodded, “Go on.”

I leant across the bar and kissed his cheek before I made
my way to the dressing rooms to collect my belongings.

“I tell you, he was sat at the fucking bar. He looked at
me but I he was so high I don’t think it registered who I was.”

I settled beside the open door without making my presence
known. I knew they were talking about Mason and I hoped their conversation
would get a little more elaborate and clue me in to what the hell was going on.

“Ginny, there isn’t anything he can do anyway. He doesn’t
rule where we work.”

“I suppose, but, well, it was a little embarrassing.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, cos’ it was Mason Fox and we work here now and
not at Allure.”

The other girl laughed but I spun round when I saw Puss
walking down the corridor towards me, “Everything okay, Ava?”

“Sure, just resting my feet, first day aches and pains” I
told her hoping she bought it as I followed her into the room.

“Yeah, it can get you like that. Hey, girls, how’s it
going?” she asked Ginny and co with a wide smile as she flopped into the large
comfy chair in the corner what Layla always claimed when she was in here. It was
accepted by all the girls here that it was Layla’s chair but she didn’t mind
the others using it when she wasn’t in.

They both beamed and nodded together like a pair of twins
psyched into each other. “Good.”

Puss nodded as she pulled a bottle of water from the
small fridge beside the chair and looked at everyone in query as to whether we
wanted one.

We each nodded and caught Puss’s offering as she narrowed
her eyes on Ginny’s friend, “Marlene, right?”

Marlene nodded as she downed her water in one visit. “How
come you left Allure for us? I heard it was an okay place to work?”

Oh, Puss, I loved you right at this minute.

Marlene shrugged and nodded, “Yeah, the rates were good
and the management were honest and reasonable but…” she glanced at Ginny to see
how much she should disclose.

“There’s been some…security issues and…”

Puss nodded as if she understood. I didn’t.

Nobody said anything further so I took the plunge,
“Security issues?” I asked nonchalantly as I removed a boot and rubbed at the
sole of my foot.

Both girls exchanged looks and shrugged, “Yeah, there’s
been some…beatings and stuff and well we didn’t feel…safe anymore.”

I nodded, “Who runs the place?”

Both instantly shut down, completely removed themselves
from the conversation as they shrugged, scooped up their things and left.

I stared at Puss as she returned my confused look, “Did I
say something wrong?”

“Fucked if I know, babe.”

She threw her bottle in the plastic recycle bin as she
collected her own belongings. “See you tomorrow, Ava.”

I nodded as I flopped back in the chair to deliberate on
the girl’s conversation.

Why the hell had Ginny been concerned at Mason’s presence
tonight? And why would he have a problem with them working here anyway? None of
it made sense and if I knew I could get away with it, I’d bug the room and tape
their god damn cagey conversations.

“Go home, Ava. You have the bed to yourself tonight;
starfish, girl” I said to myself.

The thought of the whole bed to stretch out in should
have been appealing but my heart constricted and I bit back the tears. I knew I
wouldn’t sleep tonight, I never did without Mason’s steady and calming
breathing beside me, his small twitches and his slight moans comforted me
always and for the first time in six years, I would be sleeping alone.

I loved my glorious bastard with everything I was but
could I go through another withdrawal with him? Was I strong enough? And I
didn’t mean physically.

No, this would be what finally broke us. I couldn’t do it
again; the mood swings, the paranoia, the aggression, the women! No, no way.

I swiped away the tear that absconded without permission
as I climbed in my car and made my way home, to my empty cold bed.

***

I heard the front door open and Katie grinned. “Daddy?”
she shouted with a content happiness covering her face now that she could see
her dad before school.

“Hey, sweetie” Mason smiled softly at her, bending into
her for a kiss whilst ruffling George’s hair, before he flicked me a guilty
smile. “Hey.”

I returned his smile as I stood from the table and placed
the empty breakfast plates into the dishwasher, “Hey.”

“Daddy, you’re poop. You shouldn’t let mummy sleep alone,
she’s been up all night baking. You need to tell them misters at your work that
they shouldn’t keep you out all night.” George scolded and Mason nodded firmly.

“I will, Georgie, it won’t happen again.”

Another hesitant glance was shot my way but I ignored it
and turned to the twins, “Teeth, socks and shoes. Nearly time to go, peanuts.”

Mason walked over to the kettle and flicked it on as he
scooped up a sultana and apple Danish, taking a huge bite from it. His appetite
was always humungous after a session on the coke and I was glad I’d had the
foresight to bake breakfast goods, otherwise his waistline would take a hit
from all the sugary cakes he could have demolished in his mission to bate his
hunger. Even though Mason’s fitness regime was tighter than a heavy weight
boxers, his morning runs and time in our private gym were taken with military
precision for him. But I suppose in his line of work, he needed to look hard
and capable of looking after himself if the need arose.

“So I see” he murmured with a troubled expression as he
studied the many racks of cooling pastries and scones.

I caught his eyes and warned him to keep quiet whilst the
kids were in the room. “Teeth and shoes” Mason reminded them when he understood
my hooded look.

“Yes, daddy” they both drilled out like good little
soldiers before they chased each other up the stairs. “I’m using mummy’s sink”
George shouted to his slightly faster sister as she rounded the landing.

“You can have mummy’s, I want daddy’s anyway” She sneered
a little too nastily.

“Did you sleep at all?” Mason asked quietly and I jolted
slightly as he slid his hand gently down my arm and took my hand, encompassing
it in his large one after he had flicked a delicate kiss over my knuckles.

“A little” I replied as I studied our joined hands.

“I’m an arse, baby, I…”

I snatched my hand back and glared at him, “Words are no
good Mason if they hold no conviction. I won’t do this again, I
can’t
do
this again. I won’t survive it a second time.”

He nodded, his guilt mixing with sadness on his face as
his hand now settled on my cheek and I instantly nestled in the familiar
essence of him. “You know how important you are to me, Ava. You’re everything
baby; you’re my life, my fuckin’ breath, my own personal life support machine.
Without you there’s no beat in my heart and no point to…anything.”

“Then prove it, Mason, prove to me how much I mean to
you. You know without words how much I love you, how I would die for you, baby,
but put my babies at risk and I will kill you.”

He jerked at my words but nodded, “I know, and you know I
would never do anything to hurt you all. I know how much you’re in pain right
now, Ava and I’m gonna make it all better, baby. I’m gonna scour the earth for
what our marriage needs to make it whole again. I promise.”

His words triggered the tears that had been threatening to
materialise since last night.

He pulled me in tight and wrapped my hair around his
fingers in his possessive hold; his heart was beating rapidly against the thin
material of my shirt as he whispered words of love and commitment in my ear.

“We need to talk about something.” I tipped my head back
and peered up at him. He kissed the tip of my nose and nodded as I took a deep
breath.

“I asked…”

“Katie smacked me….” George bellowed as he came sobbing
through the hallway into the kitchen.

Damn, just when it was good time to tell him!

I needed to tell him quickly and whilst he was feeling so
indulgent, so I blurted it out the same time as George scuttled himself into my
legs and Katie came stomping in to shout her disapproval at George splashing
her with dirty toothpaste water.

“I asked Kade to come this weekend.”

The children quietened immediately when they felt the
chill envelope us and the air tighten to a near struggle to breathe in.

Ice seemed to cover everything in the room from the
kettle to the fridge, from the window to my babies. From Mason to me.

Mason blew out a breath slowly then inhaled purposefully as
Katie and George stared at their daddy desperately trying to rein in his temper
in front of them.

“Go get your bags and climb in the car” I told them with
no room for argument.

They didn’t even moan or acknowledge my demand as they
thankfully had an excuse to remove their precious bodies from the house.

“Mason” I warned as I palmed his cheek and turned his
face to me, “We need to sort all this with Kade. We’re just friends and I hate
to see him hurting after what I did to him. It still pains me and I need to fix
it.”

He screwed his face up and a deep growl rumbled through
his chest. “What
you
did to him, Ava? What
you
did? Fuck, baby,
was he not there when you two fucked like rabbits?” he hissed out and I felt
his anger like a physical slap.

“Shit, I didn’t mean that, Ava.”

I nodded, I understood, it must hurt him every time my
affair was revisited but I needed to be firm on this. It had gone on long
enough. They used to be family as well as friends and I ached at how far apart
I had blown their friendship.

“You need to understand, Mason. I need to do this. Parts
of my life…hurt; they ache inside me, Mason. It’s like something that I can’t
control and I need control after… everything I’ve been through. I need this.”

He exhaled loudly then he did something I would never have
expected from him. He nodded. He nodded in agreement. He fucking nodded.

“Okay… thank you.”

He leant into me so his nose was touching mine as his
hands settled on my bum and pulled me close to him. “Just… don’t let me down,
Ava, because it happens again and…”

This time in was turn to nod. “I know, baby. You don’t
know how much this means to me.”

His eyes pierced mine as he placed a soft chaste kiss on
my lips, “I do Ava, more than you realise.”