Attention All Passengers (4 page)

Even Ralph Nader, who arguably knows more about
customer satisfaction than anyone in America, sums up the airline industry in
this way: “It's about the consumer mistreatment. You need to buy one seat for
your head and torso and then another seat for your knees.”

Obviously so much of the flying experience comes
down to legroom. In fact, when it comes to airline seating, it's specifically
about something called
pitch
, an industry term for
the front-to-back measurement of the distance between seats. SeatGuru.com is
completely devoted to airline seating, so I asked Jami Counter of TripAdvisor,
the site's parent company, about the big squeeze. He agreed that full airplanes
are affecting passenger contentment, and not in a good way: the more crowded the
plane, the less comfortable the seats. “Load factors, that's the biggest
factor,” he said. “Overall, that leads to a negative perception for passengers.”
He added that most travelers will suck it up on short flights of two hours or
less, but expect more comfort on longer journeys: “At SeatGuru, our sweet spot
is the medium- to long-haul flights. The three-to-four-hour market.”

I wonder if seats have shrunk in recent years, but
Counter advised that, for the most part, U.S. domestic carriers have “stayed
constant” with economy class seat pitch of about 31 to 32 inches on average. So
which domestic airline earns kudos? It's no contest, since one carrier provides
seat pitch of 34 to 38 inches in economy: “JetBlue is the best by far.” (This
was confirmed by
Consumer Reports
last year, when
our airline survey ranked JetBlue at the top for seating comfort, and eight of
ten carriers received low scores in that category.) And which is worst? Once
again, there are no serious competitors since one airline is offering just
28-inch pitch: Spirit. Counter said, “That's just cruel.”

But legroom is only half the battle—there's also
seat width to consider. Counter explained that evaluating width makes for an
apples-to-oranges comparison, because some airlines offer slimline seats, newer
lightweight models that offer more room. He also contended that the manner in
which seats recline affects passenger comfort as well.

In 2002,
Consumer Reports
Travel Letter
's annual review of the best and worst airline seats
included a report on a British ergonomics firm that found most standard airline
seats are “totally inadequate” for larger passengers. While seat width generally
falls in the range of 17 to 18 inches, an anthropometric table comparing average
butt sizes worldwide indicated America ranked first—no surprise there—but at
20.6 inches, that's a pretty tight squeeze in most economy seats. And there
certainly is no indication that American butts have shrunk in the last
decade.

To be fair to Boeing and Airbus and other aircraft
manufacturers, onboard comfort usually has very little to do with the airplane
itself, and everything to do with the airline configuring it. If you peel back
the carpeting on a commercial jet, you'll find that most passenger seats are
locked into tracks or pallets and therefore the distances can be adjusted,
between seats as well as between rows. For airline executives, of course, it's
all about cramming in more bodies—and they've all but perfected that dark art.
Back in 1999 I wrote an article for
New York
magazine titled “Sky Box: Shag or Shul?” which detailed how customized cargo
containers could be used by Virgin Atlantic to provide lounges, showers, and
exercise and massage areas on its new Airbus fleet, while El Al could employ the
same equipment as airborne temples on its Boeing planes. Neither of these plans
was fully implemented, of course, because in the end airlines are all about
carrying more stuff—be it cargo, mail, or people—and not about wasting precious
space. So much for those Pan Am 747 piano bars that look so cool in the retro
ads.

Labor leader Pat Friend, who began her career as a
flight attendant in 1966, points out that United's Boeing 757s used to be
configured with a coat closet up front, but a few years ago it was replaced with
another row of seats. When flight attendants asked management about it, they
were told, “You can't sell a coat closet.”

Now that the sacred cow of ancillary revenue has
been slaughtered, amenities such as better seats and upgrades come with a price
tag. On the Airfarewatchdog site, George Hobica recently responded to readers
seeking the secret to nabbing an exit row seat: “And if you have to ask, you
probably aren't going to get one. Not without spending some money, anyway.”

What's certain is that airlines will continue
wedging in as many seats as possible, particularly in economy. So that requires
that passengers not only work harder at selecting preferred seats at the time of
booking, but also wade in with elbows and knees when it's time to board the
airplane. But all that jostling and wrestling raises another issue: in-flight
etiquette.

“Civil” Aviation? Responsibility
for Onboard Rage

If there was a demarcation line in the
ongoing battle between passengers and airline employees, it undoubtedly came on
August 9, 2010, when JetBlue Flight 1052 arrived at JFK in New York City. The
details blur on the actions or nonactions of an aggressive passenger, but all
agree that harried flight attendant Steven Slater spewed obscenities into the PA
system, opened a door still armed as an evacuation slide, and bid adieu to a
twenty-year career in aviation with beer can in hand. What followed was an
American rite of passage. Arrest. Arraignment. Media storm. Morning talk shows.
Folk hero to some, unhinged alcoholic to others.

Nearly a year after his day of infamy, I had a long
and engaging conversation with Slater. I found him funny and insightful as we
swapped industry war stories, and he told me he still loves aviation. He's from
an airline family—his father was a pilot for American and his mother was a
flight attendant—and he began working for a string of airlines in 1990. (In
fact, as a TWA flight attendant, in July 1996 he was in Rome, waiting to return
to the United States on the 747 that exploded over Long Island as Flight 800.)
Eventually, Slater landed at JetBlue, but he told me that the fun of working for
the low-cost carrier wore off quickly.

“One huge resentment I have is that I made less in
my twentieth year in the airlines than I did in my first year,” Slater said. He
continued flying because he needed JetBlue's health benefits and flight
privileges, but by 2010 he was making $9,700 annually and commuting from his New
York home to nurse his dying mother in California. Meanwhile, he was angered by
what he terms JetBlue's “lean” operation: “It feels like you're being taken
advantage of when you see new paint schemes and a new headquarters and the
company naming sports stadiums.” At the same time, he says, the company had no
money to improve conditions for crews.

I told him that I sympathized, that I certainly
understood how airline employees, particularly flight attendants, have been in
the front lines as passengers revolt against crowded flights and packed overhead
bins. But I couldn't justify “popping the slide,” since like all former airline
employees I know that opening a door armed by compressed carbon dioxide and
nitrogen could kill an innocent bystander. But Slater maintained that he
assessed the situation, and told me, “I absolutely acknowledge the inherent
danger. I know how to assess conditions. It's not like I shot a gun in a crowded
movie theater.” Then he added, “If anyone knows how to open a frigging door,
it's me.”

But what no one, including Slater, could have
foreseen was how quickly his story would resonate—not just with fed-up employees
at airlines, but with fed-up employees everywhere. He acknowledged he is always
going to be “a very polarizing and divisive figure” but said he received emails
from thousands of supporters, particularly from nurses, police officers, and
firefighters. So I asked Slater a simple question: What drove your popularity?
“It was the first time someone stood up and said enough,” he told me. “The thing
is,
everybody
is overworked and underpaid and
outsourced.” He also summed up how he views it now: “I don't use the word
regret
—it's wasted energy. It might not have been the
most thought-out route of egress. But I sure felt a hell of a lot better.”

Fans and foes alike all concur on one point:
Slater's take-this-job-and-shove-it episode touched a national nerve. As
columnist Peggy Noonan noted immediately afterward, “Once we were a great
industrial nation. Now we are a service economy. Which means we are forced to
interact with each other, every day, in person and by phone and email. And it's
making us all a little mad.”

What Would Emily Post
Do?

If Steven Slater's actions were anomalous,
that would provide a certain context. If he were the only person to have lost it
on a commercial jet in recent years, it would be a different story. However, a
quick Google search indicates that a week doesn't go by without some type of air
rage–induced drama playing out in the troposphere. Sometimes the headlines tell
the tale:

• “Intoxicated Playboy Models Arrested After
Rowdy In-Flight Antics”

• “Smoking Woman in Air Rage”

• “FBI Busts Rabbi for In-Flight Groping”

• “Brothers Accused of Beating Airline
Pilot”

• “Getting Off in Denver: Programmer Arrested
for In-Flight Masturbation”

• “Flier Blames Tabasco Spill for Lewd Act”

• “Gerard Depardieu Urinates on Plane”

But if we're all so unstable, why don't we hear of
Greyhound rage or Amtrak rage? In other words, as with many types of crime, are
systemic factors at play? Do the airlines actually
induce
bad behavior? Or as transportation strategist Stephen Van
Beek has put it, “In the airline industry, chivalry is completely dead. I've
seen older passengers pushed aside.” The airlines may not consciously
invite
bad behavior aloft, but most carriers certainly
do nothing to address the two biggest contributing factors: the record passenger
loads and the lack of adequate overhead bin space now that checked baggage comes
with fees.

And small gestures could help. One former flight
attendant gives credit to US Airways for routinely avoiding cabin dustups by
properly screening passengers
before
they tote
oversized bags on board, unlike many airlines that regularly experience delays
while large bags are tagged in the aisles.

But in truth the hassles begin for most passengers
back in the airport, particularly once the TSA begins its groping and poking and
radiating. That's why veteran airline executive Howard Putnam believes the
hassle factor is beyond the industry's control to an extent: “It starts when you
enter the door of the terminal. You can't dump your wrath on the TSA, or you'll
go to jail. So you dump your wrath on the airline.”

It's a fair question to ask: are we also to blame
for our own miserable in-flight experiences? The Australian site News.com.au
recently detailed “What Flight Attendants Hate About Passengers,” which included
the obvious—dealing with drunks. But they also cited passengers not paying
attention during the safety demo; switching seats without regard to weight and
balance considerations; dirtying lavatories (termed “overshooting the runway”);
and not making eye contact or saying “thank you.” Conversely, two years earlier
passengers had sounded off about “hosties” with complaints that included
flirting with male passengers, bumping against those in aisle seats, and
disappearing when the call button is activated. Interestingly, a disconnect was
highlighted when passengers complained about flight attendants not helping them
stow luggage in overhead bins—and flight attendants complained about even being
asked for such assistance. And some passengers were annoyed about being told to
turn off their electronics.

Obviously these conditions require all of us to
redouble our efforts at being civil (especially in the lavatories). Though Emily
Post is no longer around, luckily her great-granddaughter-in-law Peggy Post
carries on her mannered legacy as an etiquette expert, author, and director of
The Emily Post Institute. And, no, Peggy Post didn't spend her young adulthood
being quizzed on salad forks at finishing school. In fact, she had the best
possible training for a life spent examining human behavior: for two years she
traveled the world as a flight attendant for Pan Am. “That's a much tougher job
now,” she says. “You're in the front lines of etiquette.”

I've spoken to Post on several occasions, though
I'll admit I was fairly nervous the first time; is “good day” preferable to
“good afternoon”? But her relaxed manner immediately puts one at ease,
especially when we swap Pan Am stories. Like every other veteran airline
employee I've chatted with in recent years, Post agreed it's become a different
industry—especially with all those crowded airplanes.

“In some ways the airlines are doing better and
passengers are doing worse,” she said about the high load factors. “It's a
perfect storm.” The combination of crowded planes, a lack of meal service, and a
fear of flying can cause some passengers to “lash out” at airline employees and
each other. Post noted certain hot-button issues that commonly lead to onboard
kerfuffles, including the battle for precious overhead bin space, the
“to-recline-or-not-to-recline-the-seat” debate, the unwrapping of brown-bagged
“smelly food,” and the mad rush to deplane.

Even so, she doesn't believe that airline policies
and other systemic causes provide license for insolence: “Let's not forget there
are some really, really rude people out there.” But as someone who once pushed a
meal cart down an aircraft aisle, she knows from which she speaks when she
advises airline employees: “There's never an excuse for not being civil.”