Atticus Claw Breaks the Law (13 page)

‘Go away!’ said Lady Toffly.

‘You’re not invited,’ agreed Lord Toffly.

Mrs Tucker ignored them. ‘I have about my cat’s person something very valuable that I’d like you to take a look at.’ She stroked Atticus around the neck. ‘My dear grandmother’s ruby necklace.’

‘Aaaahhhh,’ the crowd gasped as the cameras panned in on Atticus.

‘Who
was
your grandmother?’ Lady Toffly asked suspiciously.

‘I’ve never heard of the Von Troutperches,’ Lord Toffly complained.

‘She was the Duchess of Seabass,’ Mrs Tucker said without hesitation. ‘It’s a small island off Cornwall. She lost all her money in the great herring famine of 1920 and sailed to Cape Cod in a tin bath.’

‘Let’s have a look then.’ Rupert Rich was enjoying himself. This was going to make great TV. His ratings would go through the roof. ‘Get ’em off the cat.’

‘Certainly not!’ Mrs Tucker said. ‘Henry never goes anywhere without his ruby collar, do you, Henry?’

Atticus purred complacently. It was fun
pretending
to be a posh Persian.

‘Put him down next to the tiara, then,’ Rupert Rich said, ‘so I can take a look at them both.’

Mrs Tucker placed Atticus on the table and stepped away from the stage. She winked at him. He was in a perfect position now for when the magpies struck.

Rupert Rich squinted through his eyeglass at the fake rubies. Then he squinted at the Tofflys’ tiara. Then he did the same again.

The crowd held its breath.

‘It’s getting awfully dark,’ Rupert Rich
complained
. ‘I can hardly see a thing.’

Clouds were gathering in the sky.

Mrs Tucker had joined the children at the gate.

‘The magpies!’ whispered Callie. ‘They’re here.’

23

‘CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA!’

‘CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA!’

All of a sudden the birds swooped.

There was pandemonium.

The crowd was packed in tight. There was
nowhere
to run. The only thing to do was duck as the magpies descended on the rose garden.

‘Keep filming!’ Rupert Rich shrieked, sliding off his chair and hiding under the table.

The cameras rolled as swarms of beady-eyed birds fluttered and pecked at the lovely glittery things all the people had brought to the antiques fair.

‘Don’t panic!’ shouted Inspector Cheddar, trying out a few karate kicks. ‘They won’t hurt you. They’re only after your jewellery!’ WHACK! ‘Oops, sorry, sir!’ He realised, too late, he had bashed the Chief
Inspector of Bigsworth on the bum by mistake.

‘Cheddar!’ the Chief Inspector roared. ‘You’re on traffic cones for the rest of your career!’

‘Yes, sir.’ Inspector Cheddar didn’t care any more. All he wanted was to help his wife save the Tofflys’ tiara before the magpies got it. Otherwise she’d never be asked to organise anything ever again and it would be all his fault. He should have listened to her! He started to fight his way through the milling crowd towards the stage.

Up on the stage the Tofflys were frozen with terror.

‘I knew it!’ Mrs Cheddar grabbed the tiara. Atticus threw himself in front of her, yowling at the top of his voice. If Jimmy and his gang tried to steal it, they’d have to get past him first.

Mrs Cheddar stared at his chewed ear. ‘Atticus?’ she said.

Quickly, Atticus licked a patch of fur on his leg so she could see his real colour underneath. ‘PPTHTHPPHTT!’ Mr Tucker’s Thumpers’ Beard Dye tasted disgusting. He spat it out on Lady Toffly by mistake. Her eyebrows went white.

‘Atticus, it really is you!’ Mrs Cheddar cried. ‘Oh,
I’m so happy you’re here. I knew all along that those mangy magpies were mostly to blame!’

‘CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA!’ Two
magpies
landed awkwardly on the table. One was thin with a hooked foot; the other was fat with a raggedy tail.

‘Who’s she calling mangy?’ Thug said menacingly, advancing towards Mrs Cheddar. The tiara twinkled tantalisingly in her hand.

‘The wimpy white thing in front of her, I should think,’ Slasher cawed, sidling up beside Thug and giving his friend a crafty look. ‘The one that looks like a soppy snowflake.’

They hopped forwards.

‘Atticus, do something!’ Mrs Cheddar clutched the tiara.

Atticus …?

Thug and Slasher gazed at the white Persian.

‘He’s got a chewed ear,’ Thug gulped, his knees knocking.

‘You don’t think … I mean it can’t be …
Claw
, can it?’ Slasher trembled, his beak twitching.

‘It certainly can.’ Atticus grinned, showing them his sharp teeth. ‘Nice to see you, boys. By the way, Slasher, who are you calling a wimp? Only I find that quite
offensive
coming from a cowardly crow like you.’ He
pounced on the birds and pinned them by the tail.

‘Aaarrrghghh!’ screamed Slasher, struggling to get free. ‘Don’t eat me!’

‘Heeellllpppp!’ sobbed Thug, lying flat on his tummy on the velvet tablecloth and covering his eyes with his wings. ‘I’m too young to die.’

Mrs Tucker hurled a lobster pot over the crowd. It landed with a thump on the table. ‘Bung ’em in there, Atticus,’ she yelled. ‘I’m going to help Mr Tucker. He must have got his leg stuck in a drain.’

Atticus tossed the two birds into the lobster pot and snapped the door shut.

‘Mr Tucker’s here?’ Inspector Cheddar crawled on to the stage. He’d had a nasty experience with one magpie that kept trying to hit him in the eye with a teaspoon.

‘And Atticus!’ Mrs Cheddar cried.

‘And the children.’ Mrs Tucker screeched.

Inspector Cheddar grabbed a microphone. ‘Don’t worry!’ he gasped. ‘Everything’s under control. The police have it covered!’ He took the Tofflys’ tiara from Mrs Cheddar and held it up for everyone to see. ‘Rest assured, whatever happens, no one’s going to steal this!’

‘Keep filming!’ Rupert Rich’s voice came from
under the table. ‘Tell me when it’s safe to come out!’

‘CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA!’ The evil chattering reverberated around the rose garden. The magpies were excited about something. They stopped what they were doing and looked up at the sky with gleaming eyes, jewellery dripping from their beaks.

Sounds like Inspector Cheddar spoke too soon,
thought Atticus.
I wonder what’s going on now?

Just then he heard the beat of wings.

‘Watch out!’ he yowled.

It was too late.

Jimmy Magpie swooped down from the sky and snatched the tiara out of Inspector Cheddar’s
outstretched
hand.

‘CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA!’ Jimmy landed on top of the wall behind the stage. He placed the tiara carefully over one wing and held it aloft. The magpies chattered wildly.

The crowd watched the huge magpie,
astonished
. They knew it couldn’t really be happening, but it looked as if he was about to make a speech!

‘This is a great day for magpies,’ Jimmy cawed.

‘Chaka-chaka-chaka-chaka!’ the magpies
chattered
back.

‘This is the day we’ve all been waiting for. This is
the day we lay the memory of Beaky, Goon and Penguin to rest.’

The magpies all placed one wing across their breasts and muttered a little prayer.

‘THIS IS THE DAY WE MAGPIES PROVE WE ARE CLEVERER THAN HUMANS!!’

The magpies swaggered about, showing off their loot.

‘You might be cleverer than most humans, Jimmy,’ Atticus growled, ‘but you’re not cleverer than Michael and Callie and their mum. You’re not
cleverer
than Mr and Mrs Tucker. And you’re certainly not cleverer than me.’ He jumped down off the stage and wriggled on his belly towards the wall.

Mrs Tucker had finally managed to pull Mr Tucker’s wooden leg out of the drain. The children were ready for action.

They watched as Mr Tucker emptied the contents of his trouser pockets into a large plastic bucket. The worms wriggled and squirmed, trying to get out.

Mr Tucker chuckled. ‘Magpies go mad for worms, you maarrrk my woorrrds.’

Next he retrieved the long length of rope. He tied
the two ends together in a special fisherman’s knot and threw the loop over a sturdy branch of a big oak tree. Testing the knot first, he tied one end of the rope securely to the handle of the bucket.

The children watched, fascinated.

‘That should do it!’ he said, jumping into the bucket. ‘Edna, you and the kids pull on this end. READY, STEADY, HEAVE!!’

Michael and Callie pulled on the rope. Mrs Tucker pulled behind them. It was like a tug of war only at the other end of the rope wasn’t another team but Mr Tucker sitting in a bucket of worms.

‘Put your backs into it!’ Mr Tucker shouted.

The bucket took off.

Mr Tucker sailed into the air. When he got near enough, he hopped out on to the branch of the tree and untied the bucket from the other end of the rope.

‘Be careful, Herman!’ Mrs Tucker called.

‘Stop fussing, Edna. I’ve been in worse scrapes than this,’ Mr Tucker grumbled. He slithered along the branch with the bucket until he was over the rose garden.

‘Here goes,’ he said. He stuck his hand into the bucket and began to scatter the worms.

The Chief Inspector of Bigsworth was having the worst day of his life. First he’d had to talk to the Tofflys. Then he’d been caught in a crowd of greedy antique hunters. After that he’d been besieged by a gang of ruffian
magpies
trying to steal his watch. Finally he’d been kicked in the bum by Inspector Cheddar. Nothing could make this evil day any fouler than it already was.

He struggled to feet.

SPLAT!

PHUT! PHUT!

SPLAT!

Something squishy landed on his bald head. He put his hand up to wipe his face and picked off
something
brown and squashy. The Chief Inspector sighed. ‘Now it’s raining worms,’ he muttered.

Wait a minute. What had he just said?!
He stared at the creature in his hand. RAINING WORMS!! The Chief Inspector gazed upwards. SPLODGE! A slug bounced off his cheek.

SPLAT!

PHUT! PHUT!

SPLAT!

Everyone in the crowd, including the Chief Inspector of Bigsworth, covered their faces and began to scream.

‘Bull’s eye!’ Mr Tucker wriggled along the branch, re-tied the knot and jumped back in the bucket. ‘Give me some slack!’

Carefully, the children and Mrs Tucker let out the rope and began to lower him down.

Soon Mr Tucker landed back at the gate.

‘Good work, crew!’ He stroked his beard-jumper. ‘Now let’s catch those creeps!’ He hauled a fishing net out from the shrubbery. ‘Yooze take this end.’ Callie and Michael took a corner each. The net was heavy and bulky but Mr Tucker had folded it
carefully
so that they could spread it over the magpies easily. ‘We’ll take the other.’

‘Look,’ Michael hissed. ‘There’s Atticus. He’s going after the ringleader.’