Aurelia (11 page)

publicly escorting the crown princess proved a less than private honor. robert needed only one look around the earthen courtyard to realize his folly. dressed in her riding clothes, Aurelia stood beside a beautiful gray mare. The young lady's maid stood at her mistress's elbow. And more than ten mounted guards lined the front gate, their saddles bristling with weaponry.
Wonderful.

He should have known better.
Aurelia
should have known better. Too late now to escape back to uncle Henry's rooms, robert glared at her and climbed onto his stallion. He had given up his anonymous standing at court for the chance to talk with her in private, and now he would be lucky to ever have a moment alone with her again.

With no sign of regret, she swung onto the mare and called for a groom to bring up the mount for her lady's maid. The groom bowed, stepped back, and came forward with a huge beige stallion. robert struggled not to laugh. The horse towered higher than Horizon and must have weighed forty pounds more--a warhorse, perhaps even a charger.

The young girl took one look up at the stallion's empty saddle and backed away. "I . . . I don't think I can . . . that is . . . I am afraid I do not know how to ride, your Highness. perhaps I can find you another chaperone." The girl bowed her head in shame. "I . . . I'm terribly sorry."

Aurelia tossed her head. "Nonsense, minuet. I'm certain the guards can serve as my chaperones. do not give it another thought. Let's go, bianca." The gray mare broke into a walk before the lady's maid even had a chance to respond.

robert pulled up alongside the princess. "Nicely done," he murmured under his breath, "but I doubt a dozen guards will be as easy to dispose of."

she ignored him, instead flashing a dazzling smile toward Filbert, who sat mounted at the front of the line. "We're headed out along the Western road. Lead the way, Corporal."

A barrier of armed men and horseflesh blocked robert's view all the way through the city and out onto the Western road. Horizon, who was no happier than his rider with the close escort, spent the entire journey straining at the bit and shuffling his hooves. by the time a road going south appeared, robert was ready to throttle his horse, not to mention Aurelia, for getting him into this mess.

she ordered the guards to stop. "Wait here," she told robert, then rode up toward the front of the line. He took the moment to regain his bearings. The kryshan Forest to his right seemed to go on forever. On his left, a field of thick berry hedges ended at the crossroads. A stand of birches lined the road's western edge, and a post painted with the royal crest rose up beside the trees.
This must be the entrance to the extended palace grounds,
robert thought.

moments later a shout came back through the ranks. "dismount!" The guards at his side swung down from their horses.

Aurelia cantered close and motioned robert onto the southern path. He followed her over a small hill and down through a shallow dip, out of sight from the main road. "That was a hideous experience," he said as soon as the guards could no longer hear him. "What did you say to dismiss them?"

"I told Filbert if he and his men waited at the crossroads, we would meet them there later." she stretched out a hand and let it glance off the white bark of several trees.

"And he agreed to that?"

"Not at first, but he did after I reminded him who let us out the gate on Carnival night."

"you threatened to tell your father?"

"I didn't, and I wouldn't. but if Filbert thinks I would, he deserves to wait at those crossroads." she encouraged the mare to pick up her pace.

robert pulled Horizon to a halt. "maybe we should go back. remember what happened the last time we took advantage of Filbert."

Aurelia reined in bianca. "you're the one who demanded I talk with you. don't tell me now that it wasn't important."

"It is, but I assumed we'd talk at the palace. If someone comes after you here . . . " He peered warily through the birches. The trunks stood well apart from one another, light streaming through the gaps.

"Look, robert, I did not go to all this trouble to spend a gorgeous day like today inside. No one knows where we're going except me, so unless you're the one trying to kill me, we should be perfectly safe." Her shoulders rose and fell as she took a deep breath. "besides, the palace may not be the best place to talk. I think elise has been screening your messages. I did not receive any of them."

His eyebrows lifted. The queen could certainly order any servant in the palace, not to mention Aurelia's young lady's maid, to hand over robert's correspondence. "do you think the queen is trying to interfere with my investigation?"

"she doesn't know why you're here."

"she might. We don't know what the king has told her."

"Whatever her role, I'm not going to allow her to stop us from talking." Aurelia urged bianca forward.

The gray mare stepped with ease onto a narrow dirt trail, and Horizon followed in her footsteps through the sunny stand of white birch, across a speckled meadow of gold and green, and over a sloping hill. At the foot of the hill, a slender creek burbled its way over shiny stones. Aurelia turned her mount upstream.

Within minutes they came to a grassy incline with a thin white waterfall springing over a series of jutting crags. Whistling voices of birds challenged the water's rippling song, and the pure scent of wildflowers drifted about the stream. A wide, flat rock rested halfway up the slope, water pouring over one end. most of the gray slab stretched out dry in the sun. Aurelia swung down and moved to unpack the picnic lunch onto the dry granite.

"Have I been here before?" robert asked.

"maybe. I used to come here with friends." she laid out two cloth napkins, several glass jars filled with preserves, and a round tin. "There are easier spots to reach, but I have always liked this one."

"Why is that?" He unlatched the strap around Horizon's girth.

"When I was little, daria's father told me Jimmy used to race horses on the meadow near here."

The name sounded familiar, but robert could not place it. "Jimmy?"

"I always called my older brother Jimmy. He preferred it to James. I started coming here because it made me feel closer to him. Other people come in the summer sometimes, but I've never seen anyone this time of year."

uncertain how to respond, robert moved toward her mount. Though of course he had known about her brother's death, he could not remember ever hearing her talk about her elder sibling before. unhooking the saddle, the one that had been repaired without Aurelia's knowledge, robert inspected the fine leather, testing its strength in his hands. The stitches remained taut. Any clues had been erased by the strap's repair.

He slumped down on the warm granite beside Aurelia, and soon they both indulged in biscuits slathered with rich toppings; the sweetness of strawberry jam melded with honey butter. between bites, he shared what he had learned during his trip to midbury.

she listened without flinching. "did Harvey ever tell you why gregory took the team Carnival night?"

"No, but he told drew, who told me. gregory was assigned to drive edward of Anthone."

The biscuit in her hand froze on its way to her mouth.

"edward arrived in Tyralt on Carnival night," robert continued to explain. "gregory picked him up from the port and brought him to the palace."

"do you think edward was in the carriage when it came after us?"

"There's no way of knowing." robert wiped a sticky hand on a napkin and told her about edward's colt.

Aurelia frowned at the description of the golden horse. "If the colt is wild, I suppose my father might be the one who wanted it stabled at midbury instead of the palace. He has never been easy around horses--not since Jimmy's death."

Jimmy's death.
Another voluntary reference to what had always been a taboo subject. robert dared to pursue the topic. "Why not?"

"He still feels guilty." Her voice was soft.

robert struggled for a response, not wanting to admit his confusion.

It must have been apparent, though, because she continued: "you know how my brother died?"

"yes." He had heard reports, though he could not say he actually remembered learning of the incident. At the time, robert had been quite young and had not yet known Aurelia. "His horse spooked at a snake and threw him during a hunting expedition."

she shook her head, her face unreadable. "That's the public version of the story. He
was
thrown--right in front of my father. but Jimmy didn't die from the fall. He was trampled by my father's horse."

Aurelia leaned back until her elbows rested on stone. she breathed for a moment, then whispered, "When he died, this central pillar holding everything up disintegrated. since then my father has been busy trying to build up all the pieces around it. except there's still no center, so the structure is never stable. Father keeps trying and trying, but he can't get around that fact. I'm not sure which one of us misses Jimmy more."

robert stayed silent, not wanting to break the spell. she had never let him into her personal life before. maybe that night on the bridge, but no--that night he had done all the sharing, about his life and his dreams. she had sidestepped his question about her schooling and exploded when he asked why she did not travel. He had wondered about her reaction at the time but failed to pursue it. Only now was he beginning to see what a mess she was inside.

After a long pause, she continued: "I can't help but feel if my brother were here it would solve all my problems. I'm sure my father feels the same way."

"Then you are both wrong." robert ran his thumb along a narrow crevice in the rock. "How can you know what life would have been like? your problems would be different, but they would still exist."

A sigh escaped her throat. "I know that in my head, but my heart isn't easy to convince."

As grateful as robert was to have earned her trust, he knew his insight was not what she needed. "maybe you should talk with your father about how you feel."

she shook her head. "I've tried dozens of times. He has too much to worry about without my concerns. He lives like somebody walking on a glass chessboard. The surface looks good, but the slightest crack might send him crashing through the squares. The older I get, the less he wants to talk to me."

"Why?" asked robert, striving to understand.

Wrinkles furrowed her smooth brow. "I think I remind him of my mother. I look like her. After she left the palace, he destroyed most of her pictures, but I still have a small portrait about the size of your palm. she was plain like me."

What?
robert stared in disbelief. The young woman beside him with her honey-brown skin and the sun glinting off her face was so far from plain that he would have accused her of flirting if it weren't for the sincere tone in her voice. He opened his mouth to argue, then thought better of it. If he told her how she looked to him, there would be little to keep him from confessing the way she made him feel, and this was not the time. Not when she was clearly hurting and in need of someone in whom to confide. Instead he asked a question he had always wondered about. "Why did your mother leave?"

"you mean why did she abandon my father and me after Jimmy's death? Father won't say. maybe it's my fault." The raw pain on Aurelia's face made robert wish he had not asked.

He had always prided himself on seeing beyond Aurelia's status to the real person underneath, but it had never occurred to him that she might not see her own strengths, that her sharp tongue and strong opinions might hide a foundation of self-doubt. Had she let her father's grief mar her own sense of worth? And had she given up her own dreams, not because she wanted to rule the kingdom but because she felt it was her duty, her only means of earning her father's love?

"Talking with friends has always been easier than talking with my father," Aurelia added, then paused. "It is nice to have someone who still treats me as a friend."

"What do you mean?" robert scrambled to keep up with the twist in her commentary. "you've always had friends."

"They've changed around me, the friends we used to have in class. They aren't comfortable with the attention." she began fumbling around, picking up the lunch materials. "Like you on the ride here, having to follow all those guards." she stood up. "I could see your mind turning, thinking you were trapped and wanting to get away."

He started to interrupt, but she overrode him. "Oh, my old friends haven't been cruel. I know it's not about me, but one by one they drifted away. daria was the last."

He saw, then, what these last few years must have been like for her, watching her classmates go on to their own pursuits while she remained behind. And even worse, having them abandon her friendship because it was too hard.

"What about Chris?" robert took the napkins and jars from Aurelia's hands and slid the items under the basket lid. "He's still in the palace."

"Chris?" A threat of humor tinged her voice. she backed off the rock and onto the grassy hillside. "He and I have never been close. He's only spending time with me because you're here, robert. even you," she said, looking away, "you're only here because of your job."

something inside robert snapped. Now she was lumping him in with all the people who had let her down, reducing his relationship with her to no more than duty. He could not let her do that, could not allow her to see him through that warped lens. He moved forward and gripped her shoulders. "Never." His voice was harsh. "Never think that!" He backed away, surprised at the strength of his reaction. yelling at her would scarcely help.

Her eyes widened.

embarrassed, he looked down, unable to avoid the tremble in his voice. He could not bear it if she were afraid of him. He had to correct this, now, even if it meant crossing a line. "I . . . I would not be here if I didn't consider you my friend."
More than a friend.
"do you think I would have traveled this far to help your father . . . or your sister?"