Autobiography of Mark Twain (161 page)

406.25–26 Gillette’s comedy farce of a few years ago, “Too Much Johnson.”] William Gillette’s comedy, based on the French comic operetta
La Plantation Thomassin
by Maurice Ordonneau and Albert Vizentini, opened on Broadway on 26 November 1894 and ran until June 1895 (“The Theatrical Week,” New York
Times
, 2 Dec 1894, 10; Broadway League 2009).

407.13–14 hardly a ghost of a whisper . . . in the editorial columns of the papers] Although comment about the Jolo massacre was at first sparing or nonexistent in several New York newspapers, as early as 10 March the
World
began publishing daily or almost daily editorials and editorial cartoons, which became more disapproving as new information reached the press. The 10 March editorial concluded: “There will be many Americans who will regret, along with the death of almost a score of our brave men, that so crushing a blow should fall by our arms upon a people who have never appealed to us to extend to them the ‘blessings of civilization,’ but are willing to rule themselves” (New York
World:
“The Slaughter in Jolo,” 10 Mar 1906, 6; “Peace in Jolo,” 12 Mar 1906, 6; “The Soldier Dead,” 13 Mar 1906, 6; “The Jolo Massacre,” 14 Mar 1906, 8). The
Tribune’s
editors, convinced that these Moros were “plain, ordinary, everyday outlaws and brigands,” were on 11 March regretful but approving: “It was not a question of submission to American rule but a question of regard for any rule at all and for the peace of the Moro people. [
] The manner of doing the work was undoubtedly severe. There are cases in which severity is humanity” (“Suppressing Crime in Jolo,” New York
Tribune
, 11 Mar 1906, 6). On 12 March the
Times
reported official criticism of General
Wood “for bringing on such a struggle. It is contended that he might have accomplished enough by laying siege to the fort and starving the Moros into submission” and similarly reported “no little criticism” of Roosevelt’s congratulatory message, “on the ground that it was entirely uncalled for. . . . The fight at Fort Dajo is compared frequently with that of Wounded Knee, in January, 1891, when the Sioux ghost dancers were shot down, squaws and children with the braves” (“Not All Praise for Wood. Officials Believe His Policy Caused the Needless Killing of Moro Women and Children,” 12 Mar 1906, 6). But on the same day, the
Times
published an editorial justifying the action: “Lamentable as it is to hear of the enforced slaughter of 600 inhabitants of the islands where we established peace some five years ago, there is yet consolation in the knowledge that these last rebels against our undoubtedly beneficent rule are men who, if nothing except extermination can reduce them to order, can be exterminated with exceptional facility” (“Extermination or Utilization,” 12 Mar 1906, 8). And on the following day, the
Times
published another editorial defending General Wood (“Finding Fault with Gen. Wood,” 13 Mar 1906, 8; see also “Fighting Fuzzy-Wuzzies,” New York
Globe and Commercial Advertiser
, 12 Mar 1906, 6, and “The Battle of the Crater,” New York
Evening Sun
, 13 Mar 1906, 6).

408.5–7 “no wanton destruction of . . . used them as shields in the hand-to-hand fighting.”] Here and at 408.17–18 Clemens quoted from “No Wanton Massacre” in the New York
Evening Post
(13 Mar 1906, 1).

408.30–42 Colonel Funston had penetrated to the refuge of the patriot, Aguinaldo . . . disgracing the uniform, the flag, the nation, and himself ] Emilio Aguinaldo (1869–1964) was the leader of the fight for Filipino independence, first against Spain and then against the United States. Frederick Funston (1865–1917), nicknamed the “scrapper” and known as a “dare-devil sort of soldier,” participated as a volunteer in more than twenty battles in the Cuban war, where he had been seriously wounded three times, captured by the Spanish and sentenced to death, liberated or escaped, and barely survived a bout of “Cuban fever.” He thereafter joined the Twentieth Kansas Volunteers to fight in the Philippines as a colonel, and had been promoted to brigadier general in 1899 after swimming across the Rio Grande under “galling fire from Aguinaldo’s men.” In February 1901, McKinley considered him for promotion to the regular army, but concluded that he was “not a man of proper temperament for any rank higher than that of Lieutenant in the regulars” (“Gen. Funston’s Career,” New York
Times
, 28 Mar 1901, 2). Although by that time the Filipino fight for independence was essentially over, “largely due to the patient, indefatigable, constant efforts of officers whose names are barely known to the public and whose personalities are almost unknown,” Funston proceeded, in late March, to capture Aguinaldo by treachery and deceit. Despite his reluctance to reward Funston and thereby seem to overlook the more important efforts of other officers, McKinley promoted him to brigadier general in the regular army on 30 March 1901 (“The President’s Dilemma. To Reward Funston Would Be to Slight Hard Work of Other Officers in the Philippines,” New York
Times
, 30 Mar 1901, 2). Clemens’s bitterly satiric “A Defence of General Funston,” published in the
North American Review
in May 1902, scathingly criticized Funston for the “forgeries and falsehoods” and “ingratitudes and amazing treacheries” he had employed (SLC
1902c, 620, 622). Clemens also wrote a critical book review (SLC 1902a), which he left unpublished, of Edwin Wildman’s
Aguinaldo: A Narrative of Filipino Ambitions
(1901).

409.1–17 Wood was an army surgeon . . . the Senate hadn’t spirit enough to repudiate it] Clemens’s commentary on Wood and Roosevelt reflected his 1903 “Major General Wood, M.D.,” a “pretty pison article” which he originally planned to submit for publication in the
North American Review
or
Harper’s Weekly
, but suppressed (30 Dec 1903 to Duneka, MoSW). In it he pretended to advocate for Wood’s elevation to major general:

I think that the President’s delight in the history of him and the character of him and the smell of him ought to be considered; I think that Dr. Wood’s distinguished “expectations,” and spurious medals, and shady silver-plate, and furtive in subordinations, and clandestine libels, and frank falsehoods, pimping for gambling hells, and destitution of honor and dignity, taken together with his devoted and diligent labors in seeking a great place which has not sought him, have earned it and entitled him to it. (SLC 1903e, TS p. 3)

On 7 December 1903 the Senate “had two legislative days, one in the expiring session and one in the new session,” and in the interval between them Roosevelt reappointed Wood and 167 other officers, considering them to be “recess appointments.” On 18 March, Wood was confirmed as a major general by the Senate (New York
Times:
“Special Session Is Merged into Regular. President Roosevelt Decides for ‘Constructive Recess,’ ” 8 Dec 1903, 1; “Wood’s Nomination Is Confirmed by Senate,” 19 Mar 1904, 5).

409.18 Monday, March 5, 1906] The events discussed in this dictation on 15 March had been reported in the newspapers ten days earlier.

409.27 POLICE HUSTLE CROWD AWAITING MARK TWAIN] This article from the New York
Times
of 5 March was pasted into the typescript of the dictation.

410.29 Rev. Dr. Charles P. Fagnani] Fagnani (1854–1941) held degrees in arts, science and law. In 1882 he was ordained a Presbyterian minister, and since 1892 had taught Hebrew at the Union Theological Seminary in New York, later becoming associate professor of Old Testament literature (“Dr. Fagnani, 86, Dies in Occupied France,” New York
Times
, 7 Jan 1941, 25).

410.40–41 Mark Twain . . . was greeted with a storm of applause] Clemens’s talk, entitled “Reminiscences,” was preceded by a lengthy program of several other speakers, a singer (Anna Taylor Jones, contralto), a “mixed string-and-piano-band” (the Misses Kleckhoefer), and a Bible reader, causing him to cut his planned talk by half an hour (see AD, 3 Apr 1906; “Y.M.C.A. Meetings,” New York
Globe and Commercial Advertiser
, 3 Mar 1906, 15). Versions of the speech were published under the title “Layman’s Sermon” (
MTS
1910, 136–39;
MTS
1923, 281–83; see also Fatout 1976, 492–95).

411.4 Dr. Russell spoke of organization] After the audience was seated and the police had dispersed the remaining crowd outside, Rev. Dr. Howard H. Russell (1855–1946), superintendent of the national Anti-Saloon League,

denounced the affair from the platform as a police outrage, and said that respectable citizens had been jabbed in the ribs with night sticks to make them move on, when there was no opportunity to move on.

An impromptu indignation meeting was held on the platform, and there was much talk of resolutions passed against the police. They would have passed, but Mark Twain killed them. He began to talk about the individual’s duty as a citizen.

“Don’t try to infringe on other people’s rights,” he said, “or take responsibilities on your shoulders that you should not. But if others should try to trample on you, then assert your citizenship. When you resolve to do a thing, do it, but I heard Dr. Russell speak of resolutions about the police. I don’t believe in denouncing the whole police force for the fault of one man.” (“Fight to See Twain,” New York
Tribune
, 5 Mar 1906, 1; “Hurt in Crush to Hear Mark Twain,” New York
Morning Telegraph
, 5 Mar 1906, 1)

411.5–6 When they say ‘Step lively,’ remember it is not an insult from a conductor to you personally] In 1892, the
Railroad Gazette
noted: “On the Manhattan Elevated the injunction of the trainmen to ‘step lively’ has become a by-word, and they doubtless find the duty of reiterating it thousands of times very irksome, but it is only by this constant spurring at all points that a great passenger movement can be accomplished with punctuality” (“Step Lively,” New York
Times
, 27 Dec 1892, 3).

411.11–12 I was traveling from Chicago with my publisher and stenographer . . . and engaged a stateroom on a certain train] Other reports of this speech make clear that Clemens said that he was “in Chicago . . . about to depart for New York” and that the publisher was James R. Osgood. The “stenographer” was Roswell H. Phelps. The three men traveled together in 1882, when Clemens gathered material for
Life on the Mississippi
(“Ten Thousand Stampede at a Mark Twain Meeting,” New York
Herald
, 5 Mar 1906, 1).

411.25 Mr. Thomson of the Pennsylvania] Between 1882 and 1899, Frank Thomson (1841–99) served as second vice-president, first vice-president, and president of the Pennsylvania Railroad.

412.7–10 I think it damaged my speech for Miss Lyon . . . I knew that she knew it] Isabel Lyon recorded her impressions that evening; Clemens’s young friend Gertrude Natkin also attended:

Today we went up to the Majestic Theatre
_[
,
_]
Mr. Clemens & mother & I . . . But the main thing is that Gertrude was there, “that darling child.” We went in the stage door & for a very long time Gertrude didn’t arrive. Mr. Clemens’s look of disappointment made me heartsick & feebly I tried to find the child in that vast crowd. It was a Christian crowd; but as I turned away from a big burly young man who had tried to gain admittance & had failed, I heard him say: “Just my God damn luck!” . . . Mr. Clemens’s talk was lovely & brave & strong & instructive & humorous. No one else in all the world can combine all those qualities with such great wonderful personal charm. . . . He seems never to be aware of himself. (Lyon 1906, 63)

412.16 letter from William Dean Howells] Howells’s letter was dated 28 February 1906 (CSmH, in
MTHL
, 2:801–2).

412.39–40 So may I be courteous . . . the path I trod] Clemens paraphrased the final lines of “A Song” by Clarence Urmy (1858–1923), which was printed in the March 1906 issue of
Harper’s Bazar
and quoted many times subsequently, often without attribution (Urmy 1906):

I shall not pass this way again,
May I be courteous to men,
Faithful to friends, true to my God,
A fragrance on the path I trod.

412.41–42 At the funeral I saw Patrick’s family . . . The children were men and women] Clemens attended McAleer’s funeral at the Cathedral of St. Joseph on Farmington Avenue in Hartford on the morning of 28 February, and “took his place” with the pallbearers “going in and coming out.” The McAleers’ four surviving children (out of nine)—Michael, William, Alice, and Anne—attended the funeral with their families (Twichell 1874–1916, entry for 27 Feb 1906, 7:126; Hartford
Courant:
“Coachman Many Years for Mark Twain,” 26 Feb 1906, 6; “Mark Twain Pays Tribute to Servant,” 28 Feb 1906, 3;
Hartford Census:
1880, 117; 1900, 8B; 1910, 7B; see AD, 1 Feb 1906, note at 322.31–42).