Autumn Wish (11 page)

She handed Ella into Sam’s arms. “Here, you take her, and I’ll be right back out with her things.”

Inside, she saw Joe by her island counter, in full view of the door. He started to speak, but she held up a hand for him to wait as she grabbed the diaper bag and carrier.

Back on the porch, Sam accepted the diaper bag and slung it over his shoulder before taking the carrier in the same hand. Ella was swinging her arms again, and Nikki caught hold of one as she met Sam’s guarded gaze.

“Same time tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah.” He glanced past her shoulder. “Good luck.”

Her attempt to smile wouldn’t stick, so she resorted to a nod and turned away.

“Hey, Nik,” he called softly.

She spun back to face him and saw he’d set the carrier down. He stepped forward and leaned in, his body angled to hold Ella out of the way. His fingers threaded through her hair until he could urge her forward.

Resistance never even crossed her mind as his head lowered and he whispered, “Maybe this will help.”

His mouth covered hers in a slow kiss that ignited the simmering attraction from two nights ago. She braced her hand on his forearm, rising up on her tiptoes to increase the pressure. His fingers flexed for a brief moment against the back of her neck, then he lifted his head and let her go. His gaze locked on hers, his eyes the rich color of scorched caramel in the setting sunlight.

“Goodnight.”

He dipped to snag the carrier, then hurried down the steps and strode across her yard to his own. Nikki watched him, desperately trying to make herself breathe normally before facing the man she’d been prepared to spend the rest of her life with only one short month ago.

Maybe this will help?
How? Joe wanted to explain how he’d made a mistake by leaving, but after that kiss, and all she could think about right now was Sam.

“Are you sleeping with him?”

The accusing question jolted her attention. She took a deep breath as she stepped back inside and closed the door before facing Joe.

“No, I’m not sleeping with him.”

“Yet. He’s definitely aiming to get you in his bed, and using his baby to do it.”

“It’s not like that.” Irritation lent an edge to her voice as she picked up the toys from the blanket on the floor and carried them to the kitchen to wipe off. “I’m helping him with his
niece
, that’s all. We’re barely dating.” Even that claim was a major exaggeration.

He came to stand by the counter next to her. “You mean that’s not even his kid?”

“He’s taking care of Ella for his sister. She’s...working through some things right now. He hadn’t cared for a baby before, so I offered to show him what to do.”

“And you’re babysitting for him, too?”

“Yes.”

“Damn it, Nicole, can’t you see he’s using you?”

She dropped the toys in the sink and whirled around. “If you want to put it that way, then we’re using each other. I lost my job yesterday, and until I find another one, babysitting his little girl is my only income.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that.”

“And why would you? You’re not part of my life anymore.”

He slid his hand across the counter to cover hers. “I’d like to be.”

The warmth of his touch sent a frisson of remembered awareness up her arm, but she pulled away from the unwelcome sensation. “Coming in here and acting like a jerk is not the way to accomplish that.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I just...I didn’t realize what it would do to me seeing you with someone else.”

She lifted her chin a notch. “Hurts, doesn’t it?”

His eyes darkened, and his hand fisted on the counter. “Seeing that guy kiss you drives me insane.”

He really
was
jealous. The confirmation triggered an emotion she wasn’t quite sure how to define. Happiness? A little bit, because he still wanted her. But mostly satisfaction. She kind of felt bad, but knowing he now experienced some of what she’d gone through made her feel good, as well as if a little justice had been served.

Remembering why she’d gone through all that pain tempered her joy. “You’ve got no one to blame but yourself, Joe. You left me, remember?”

“I told you, I realize now that was a mistake.”

“After you saw me with Sam.”

She was surprised when he ran a hand through his hair and left it messed up.

“What can I say? I’m an idiot. A jerk. I regret that I hurt you.”

He moved forward and took both her hands in his. His touch awakened memories of the good times they’d had the year they were together. He was a good man, and she’d loved him with all her heart until he broke it into tiny little jagged pieces that stabbed her chest with each breath.

Remnants of those shattered emotions stirred to life as his plaintive gaze held hers.

“If there is any way you can forgive me, Nicole, I’m begging you to give me a second chance. To give
us
a second chance.”

Wow. Joe Holder begging? She didn’t know what to say.

Actually,
yes
, she did. She pulled free once more and crossed her arms over her chest. “Tanya know you’re here?”

“I broke it off with her. We’d only gone on a few dates. It was nothing serious.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

Joe shifted back a half step, his averted gaze answering the question for him. Nikki turned her head to stare at the counter. Then she pushed past that stab of hurt and moved on to the main hurdles.

“Have you changed your mind about getting married?”

“I’m ready to talk about it.”

That was a huge step up from him walking out on her at the mention of
til death do us part.
She brought her gaze back to his. “And kids? Are you ready to talk about a family, too?”

His gaze faltered before locking steady again. “Down the road, yes.”

He was offering the possibility of what she’d wanted all along. She respected his honesty in being willing to talk about the issues instead of promising her everything right away. But she also knew after spending just a few days with Sam and Ella, she would settle for nothing
less
than everything.

She wasn’t willing to go down this road a second time with him if he was only going to break her heart again. Not after she’d just started to heal with her budding feelings for the man next door.

Thinking of Sam added another level of uncertainty and confusion. Was
he
the attraction, or did she love the idea of Ella and him and an instant family?

“What I want for my future hasn’t changed,” she warned Joe.

“I know. And you deserve to have what you want and be happy.”

“We both do. So if you’re not sure—”

“Let me take you to dinner tomorrow night,” he suggested. “No pressure, just a nice night out to see how things go.”

She warned him about being sure, yet here
she
stood, plagued by doubts. About him. About Sam. About herself.

The thing was, she had no clue where things were going with Sam, if they were even going anywhere. He kissed her like he meant it for himself, yet the original idea had been to make Joe jealous. Which they’d done. He might figure his job was done, and then where would she be? She hadn’t known him long enough to bet on any type of a future with him and Ella, so didn’t she owe it to herself to see if there was still a chance of one with Joe?

“Dinner sounds nice,” she agreed with caution.

Hope filled Joe’s expression. “Yeah?”

“Yes. But it’ll have to be Saturday. Tomorrow night is Savannah’s birthday party.”

“Maybe I could go with you?”

“No, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.”

“Why? Because of your brother-in-law?”

Joe’s mouth twisted in annoyance. He and Eric had never quite gotten past whatever differences they had, but neither would explain their dislike.

“It’s not just him.” Marissa’s comment earlier in the week about Joe taking her for granted surfaced, and she raised her voice in defense of her family. “You walked out on me, Joe. Do you expect they’ll welcome you back with open arms?”

“I expect I’ll have a lot of apologizing to do.”

And then some. If they even got that far again. She was impressed that he’d admit it.

He stepped forward, but she held up her hand. “Saturday, dinner.
Now
, goodnight.”

“Can’t I stay for a little while?”

She shook her head and walked past him to go hold open the front door. “I need time to process all this.”

After a moment of hesitation, he nodded. “I can respect that.”

Except when he walked by, he hooked one arm around her waist and pulled her out onto the porch and into his arms. Her initial gasp of surprise was smothered by his mouth. After a moment of stiffness, she let herself relax into the kiss. There was an element of comfort in his embrace that stirred a familiar desire she’d missed so much since he’d left.

As the kiss continued, she found herself waiting for the excitement to mount. Sex had never been an issue between them, and even now, he executed just the right moves to set off a little ping deep inside.

And yet...
execute
was the key word. Skilled as he was at pleasing her, his lovemaking lacked passionate abandon. With him, she’d never experienced that all-consuming need to get closer, to feel his hot skin against hers until desire overrode all rational thought, like the other night in Sam’s kitchen.

Her eyes popped open.

Sam
.

Nikki turned her head away from Joe’s kiss. His lips grazed her cheek as her gaze landed on Sam’s house. She owed the sexy construction worker nothing, so why did she feel like she was being unfaithful?

Before Joe could do more than brush his mouth against the sensitive spot on her neck, she pushed against his chest. He released her with a pleased smile. “Thank you for doing this, Nicole. I’ll see you Saturday at six. I’ve got a special place picked out, so make sure you wear something nice.”

She managed a nod. When he descended the stairs, she closed the door and turned to lean against it. Closing her eyes, she let her head fall back until it thumped against the wood. Not a good sign that she compared Joe’s kiss to Sam’s—in the middle of the kiss! Worse that she found Joe’s kiss...lacking.

What the hell was she doing?

Chapter 12

Sam took a deep breath before ringing Nikki’s doorbell Friday morning.
Play it cool. Be happy for her
.
After all, getting her back with her ex was
your
bright idea, wasn’t it?

“Well done, you idiotic sonofabitch,” he muttered.

Ella stared up at him from the carrier resting against his hip. Then the door swung open and he pasted on a smile for Nikki. “Good morning.”

“Hi. Come on in.”

Her voice was a little hoarse, and thank God he’d seen the guy’s fricken’ expensive Corvette leave last night, or he’d be torturing himself with why she looked like she’d gotten less sleep than him. Ella had allowed him about six hours last night, so that was a switch.

He set the diaper bag on her couch and the carrier on the floor. Nikki came over to unstrap Ella from the seat right away, focusing all her attention on the baby.
He
couldn’t help focusing on the nice fit of her jeans, until he realized she hadn’t looked at him yet.

Did she know he’d seen her second kiss of the night out on the front porch? Or if she didn’t know for sure, did she at least worry if he did? He hoped so, but didn’t count on it. Yeah, he’d turned away after a moment, but that’s all he’d needed to see it’d been more than a peck goodnight, and she’d kissed the guy back.

Much as he didn’t want to hear the news, he couldn’t stand going all day without knowing for sure where she now stood.

“So, you and Joe...” He trailed off so she could finish the sentence.

She lifted her gaze, and the question of what he might have seen shimmered in her eyes. It made him wonder if they’d kissed out on the porch just so he would see them together. Before he could figure out the answer, she lowered her attention to remove Ella’s coat.

“Um...he asked for a second chance.”

“You going to give him one?”

“We’re...ah...we’re going to dinner tomorrow night.”

His fingers clenched into fists, but he forced them to relax. “Good. Glad the plan worked.”

Her gaze rose to his once more, full of unexpected confusion and more questions he didn’t have a clue how to interpret.

“I gotta get going.” An abrupt spin sent him toward the exit before he said something he’d later regret, like,
I kissed you last night so you’d think of
me
, not get back with the other guy.

Just before he shut the door, he called over his shoulder without looking back. “Any chance you’d mind having Ella a couple extra hours if I work some overtime tonight?”

“That’s fine. I—”

“Great, thanks.”

He gently clicked the door closed instead of giving into the urge to slam it. The blustery wind tugged at his hair and tore foliage-turned-too-early from the trees. As the leaves skittered and crunched beneath his boots, he hunched his shoulders against the chill in the autumn air.

The leaden gray sky confirmed the rain that’d been forecasted for most of the day again, with a chance of severe storms later in the evening. Once he was on the road, the heater evaporated the dampness from his cab, but it was going to be a miserable day on the job site.

***

Sam checked his phone after lunch to find Nikki had taken Ella to her sister’s house so she could help decorate for her own niece’s birthday party. Then she’d sent him the address so he could pick Ella up there. The text message kicked his mood from bad to worse. Since it was a family event, it was likely Joe would be there. He could just image the smug smile he’d receive from the guy.

The other crew members left at five, and Carter approved him to stay however long he wanted. Nikki had reiterated in the text to take his time, but without the back and forth chatter of his co-workers, he started thinking of her at the party. She’d have all her family around, all her nieces and nephews, and she’d be stuck taking care of his kid.