Authors: Alessa James
My mind spun as I picked up the spoon again and took several more sips of the soup, which was even more amazing than the lobster bisque he had had delivered. I looked across the table at Will, who continued to watch me, smiling. Before I had even finished, Will stood and disappeared from sight only to return with a shallow bowl with what looked like rice.
“Risotto with giant prawns,” Will said.
He watched me eat, seeming to enjoy it almost as much as I did. Then again, maybe he was drawing from my energy intentionally or unintentionally. When I finished, he rose and took away the dishes before returning with a slice of chocolate cake that looked like a piece of art.
“Will, you’re killing me,” I laughed before adding, “Not literally, but I am going to need to start running again tomorrow.”
I took a bite.
“Oh …
wow
,” I moaned.
The cake was a dense, dark chocolate, covered in a rich caramel sauce. I took another bite, savoring the flavor.
“Is it possible to OD on chocolate?”
“Does that mean you like it?” he asked.
“It’s perfect. This is all … perfect.”
As I looked beyond the cliff toward the horizon, the moon’s reflection cast a wavering beam of white light across the endless expanse of black water. The entire scene was like a dream, and it scared me. It was too easy to get lost in Will’s world, both the good parts and the bad parts.
“What’s wrong, Aven?”
I shook my head.
“I just wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting you. I mean … I was absolutely sure that I wasn’t going to go on a single date until after high school, and part of me thinks this is all just one big hallucination or practical joke.”
Will smiled as he set down a small black jewelry box. I looked down at it like it was a coiled snake.
“Not helping!” I managed to gasp.
Will smiled as he pushed the box toward me. The look in his eyes was making me dizzy.
“Will?”
I sat completely still, barely breathing as Will picked up the box and came around to my side of the table. For a second, I thought he was going to laugh at my reaction and open an empty box. Instead, he flicked open the box. All the air rushed from my lungs as I looked down at the perfectly round diamond, the facets sparkling in a thousand directions in the candlelight. I shivered as he took my hand and lifted me from the chair.
“It’s nothing near as beautiful as you are,” he said. “But will you accept it?”
“
What
am I accepting?” I choked.
“That I will love you for the rest of my existence.”
“Will! In human-land, presenting a girl with a giant rock generally means you intend matrimony.”
He smiled and then kneeled down in front of me, the blue of his eyes shining.
“Will you marry me?”
My eyes filled with tears of frustration as I shook my head.
“I can’t. This isn’t … I mean I’m only—
I’m seventeen
! Are you crazy?” I gasped.
“Is that the only reason?”
“It’s a big one, don’t you think?”
He lifted the ring from the box, and I saw it was attached to a chain. Rising, he walked behind me and clasped the chain around my neck before turning me in his arms.
“Were you
expecting
me to say no?” I asked.
“I was expecting you to say
not now
, but the ring is yours, whatever you decide. I love you, and I always will.”
I pressed my lips together and then blew out a breath.
“Will, I love you—”
“But?” he asked humorously.
“There’s no way I’m getting married at seventeen … and definitely not before sex. I mean, aren’t you the least bit curious if we’ll be—”
He bent his head and brushed his lips across mine. By the time he pulled back, I could feel heat coursing through my veins.
“Compatible?” he finished.
“Yeah,” I swallowed.
“I understand.”
I had expected him to be angry or disappointed. Now I was relieved and … confused.
“You do?”
“You are worth the wait.” He paused. “However, your eighteenth birthday now seems so
very
far away.”
He smiled, and I started laughing.
“What now?” I asked unsteadily.
He smiled and blew out the candles.
“A swim?”
***
After school the next day, we went back to my dad’s hotel and met Edmond in the parking lot.
“No sign of either of them anywhere near your father,” Edmond said. Then he smiled. “I must say I believe Professor Casey is tiring of staying in a hotel.”
“Do you think it’s safe for us to go back home?” I asked anxiously as Gen joined us. “You know, before my dad goes crazy or figures out that Edmond isn’t a gas company employee?”
“Tonight, then,” Will smiled.
Satisfied, I started walking toward the entrance with Will. At the elevators, I pressed the button, and the doors slid open. I stepped on, and the second the elevator closed, Will pulled me into his arms.
“I’m going to miss having you to myself,” he whispered into my hair.
He pulled back, frowning as the elevator stopped. The doors slid open again, and I turned and saw James standing in front of us. He stepped forward and reached for the chain on my neck. Will’s hand shot out and grabbed James’s wrist.
“Now you’ve given Vladimir that much more reason to enjoy destroying you,” James said as we stepped off the elevator and he stepped on.
I glared at him before the doors slid closed again.
“Aven,” Will said as we started walking.
I shook my head.
“No, I get it. He thinks we’re tempting Fate.”
And maybe James was right, but I couldn’t stop loving people because I was afraid of what might happen. It made me think of something my mom had said once:
Aven, love like there’s no tomorrow, because there might never be
. When we reached my dad’s hotel room, Darcy barked before I even knocked.
“Good thing this place is pet friendly,” I said right as my dad opened the door.
“Aven! You are a sight for sore eyes,” my dad said, smiling as he took the laundry basket of clean, folded clothes.
He set it on a chair and pulled me into a hug. When Darcy shoved his nose in between us, and I bent down to give him a hug, too.
“Come on, you two! I was here yesterday.”
“Sorry, honey. David Pitt said his son Tyler has gone missing. Hasn’t picked up his calls, just disappeared.”
I hadn’t liked him, but that didn’t mean I wanted him to disappear from the face of the Earth.
“That’s awful,” I said.
“Well, David said he’s done this before—and I guess I’m just relieved to have such a good kid. In a piece of
good
news, I just got a call from the gas company, and they finally gave us the all-clear to go back to the house.”
“Great!” I said, smirking at Will.
“Is it too early for dinner?” my dad asked.
“Nope, I’m starving,” I said.
My dad glanced at Will, but didn’t say anything as he clipped Darcy’s leash to his collar.
“All right. I’ll pick up Mrs. Hendrix and leave Darcy with Angel for a couple of hours.
“Okay. We’ll meet you there?” I asked.
My dad nodded, and we all stepped out of the room walked down the hall to the elevator. In the lobby, I kissed my dad on the cheek and scratched Darcy’s neck. When we got to the parking lot, I pulled the keys from my pocket, and Will opened the driver’s side for me. On the way to the restaurant, I focused on the road and tried not to think about Vladimir Fidatov or James. When the light changed, I hit the gas—and then jumped when Will suddenly jerked the wheel and pulled up the emergency brake. Looking from him to the windshield, I saw a girl half a foot from the Volvo’s bumper.
She looked up at us with a dazed expression, and that’s when I saw the earbuds in her ears. I shivered. How many times had I done the same thing—zoned out with my music while I was walking? And if it hadn’t been for Will, the girl in front of me might be dead. Just like that. When I released the brake and started driving again, my hands were shaking on the wheel. We reached the restaurant a minute later, and I pulled into a parking space.
“I’m glad you’re driving on the way back,” I sighed, turning off the engine.
Will opened my door before I had even taken off my seatbelt. I stepped out and looked around. Large black SUV? Check. Black Tesla? Check. As we walked toward the restaurant, I knew we had beaten my dad there. Slowing down when I heard shouting, I turned and saw two men—one in a suit and the other in jogging clothes—in a knock-down, drag-out fight. At first I thought it was some sort of improv or a flash mob. Then one of the men took a swing, and I literally saw blood start pouring from the other guy’s nose. When I pulled out my phone, about to call the police, Will put his hand on my shoulder.
“Go back to the car,” he said quickly. “If anything happens, stay with Edmond.”
“What do you mean?” I called after him as he walked toward the restaurant.
I was tempted to re-enact the idiotic maneuver from every horror movie I had ever watched—not that many, to be honest—and follow Will. Then I decided against it. Turning back toward the car, I saw Edmond headed toward the two men just as a car driving by went careering into his parked SUV.
A second later, there was a deafening blast and suddenly I was flying through the air in perfect, serene silence.
S
itting up, I winced when my head throbbed and my ears rang. My vision was blurred, like I was under water. Blinking, I focused on an unfamiliar blue curtain and beeping instruments everywhere. I looked down at my arm and winced when I saw an IV. I was in a hospital—and my back was burning, stinging like I had an awful sunburn. Opening my mouth, I tried to say something, and suddenly the curtain opened silently. I looked up and saw Gen, who leaned over and pressed a button on the bed.
“Ask the nurse for your father,” she said quietly.
“Will?” I gasped.
“Shh. Later,” she whispered before disappearing.
The curtain made an unnerving screeching noise, and a stern-looking nurse appeared, staring suspiciously at me.
“My dad,” I choked. “I need to see my dad.”
She looked at the beeping machines and then walked out again. A few seconds passed, and then I heard his voice.
“I don’t care if visiting hours are over, dammit! She’s my only daughter.”
He came through the curtain a second later and touched my arm—the one that wasn’t attached to the IV.
“Sweetie? How do you feel?”
“What happened?” I asked, my voice trembling.
He shook his head.
“There was an explosion. I don’t think they know what caused it.”
“Will,” I whispered. “He went into the restaurant.”
My dad’s expression tightened, and he squeezed my hand gently.
“Aven, I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head, feeling dizzy. Logic and reality weren’t matching up.
“No. He’s alive. I know he is. He can’t die.”
Tears started streaming from my eyes.
“Sir? She needs to rest.”
I looked over and saw a woman standing next to my dad. She touched my IV, and my head swam. The next time I woke up, the room was dark and empty—and the pain in my back was burning like fire. Groping around for a light, I felt a hand touch mine. I looked up and saw Gen.
“Sleep,” she whispered.
***
When they let me leave the hospital on Sunday afternoon, it was with antibiotics, major pain meds, and a topical solution to put on my back, which had been cut up by flying glass from the explosion. After being mostly doped up for the better part of two days, I was finally gaining some clarity when I heard a knock at the front door.
“No, I’m sure she would love to see you, Gen,” my dad said. “Just try not to say anything about—”
His voice suddenly got so quiet I couldn’t hear him, and I knew he was talking about Will. A few seconds later, Gen poked her head in my door. I pointed over at my computer.
“Can you turn on some music?”
Nodding, she walked over to my computer, and the most depressing possible Radiohead song ever came on. She brought my desk chair to the side of my bed.
“Gen, please,” I begged. “Tell me where Will is before I go out of my mind. I mean, he’s okay, right?”
I bit my lip and felt a sob escape. I could tell from her expression that he wasn’t okay.
“But he said you couldn’t die,” I whimpered, gasping for air.
“Aven, he’s not
dead
,” she said quietly but sharply. “We think Fidatov has him.”
“Wh-what do you mean he
has him
?”
“The gas explosion, the car crash, the men fighting down the street—it was all a distraction.”
“But Will said Fidatov was after me. I mean, I never thought … What do we do?”
She gave me a severe look.
“
You’re
not going to do anything. Will would want us to keep you safe. We’ve started looking to see if Fidatov has left a trail of any kind. We’re going to find him, Aven.”
Gen and the others might find Will, but would it be in my lifetime? I braced myself for my next question, afraid to even ask it.
“Did anyone else” —I swallowed— “I mean, was there anybody else in the restaurant?”
“At least fifteen that we’ve found.”
I gasped, shaking my head.
“Oh my god.”
“We think they were already dead.”
I felt numbness creep through me.
“Already dead?” I repeated lifelessly.
“We think Fidatov killed them before you got there. That is the only way I can imagine him overpowering Will so quickly.”
I pulled my knees up to my chest and looked toward the window.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “For everything.”
By the time I looked up, Gen was already gone. I couldn’t tell how much time passed, but I didn’t move again until my dad knocked on the door. Only then did I realize that the same Radiohead song had been set to repeat over and over. He came and sat down on the edge of my bed.
“Do you want some pizza?” he asked.
I smiled and nodded. If I didn’t act normal, I knew he wouldn’t let me go to school in the morning—and the last thing I needed was to sit around in the house all day.
The next morning, when my alarm went off, I climbed out of bed groggily. Going into the bathroom, I took inventory of the cuts, bumps, and bruises all over my body, making sure to put bandaging over the worst of them.
When I got to the kitchen, my phone buzzed with a text from Gen that I should expect a ride to school. By the time I ate breakfast, packed up my stuff, and stepped outside, James was already standing on the porch waiting for me. I looked across the street and saw the black Tesla at the curb. He took my backpack from me.
“Where’s Gen?” I asked.
“Otherwise engaged.”
James extended his hand for me to go ahead of him, and I walked to the car. James opened the passenger-side door for me, and I sat down carefully, wincing as my skin made contact with the seatback. I was about to grab for the pain pills in my backpack when James reached over and took my hand. Suddenly the pain evaporated, like he had sucked it out of me. Snatching back my hand, I looked over at him. His eyes were closed. When he opened them again, they were a brilliant, scorching green.
“Did you get your fix?” I asked dryly.
“Your pain is gone, is it not? And now so is mine.”
The car shot forward with absolutely no resistance, and both of us were silent for the remainder of the trip to school. When we pulled into the parking lot, I saw Sean waiting with everyone else. I looked over at James.
“You’re going to want to keep sucking emotion out of me, or I’m going to lose it and start crying in front of everyone.”
As soon as I stepped out of the car, James appeared at my side still carrying my backpack. Sean came running up and then stopped awkwardly in front of us.
“You okay?” he asked, glancing at James.
I smiled crookedly and shook my head as the others joined us.
“I came by the hospital on Saturday, but you were pretty out of it,” Sean continued.
“Yeah, they were giving me massive drugs.”
Lizzie reached out and gently squeezed my arm.
“Aven, we’re here if you need to talk,” she said softly.
I nodded, but talking was the last thing I wanted to do right now. Feeling an overwhelming wave of emotion coming from someone else, I reached over and gripped James’s hand. Amy burst into tears a second later.
“I’m sorry!” she squeaked before turning and rushing away.
The bell rang, and we all started walking toward school. When I got to Ms. Kluman’s classroom, I frowned when James followed me into class. Shrugging, I walked over to my desk and took out my binder and textbook. When Ms. Kluman started collecting homework, all I could think was:
I’m so glad it was me at the restaurant instead of my dad
. If he had been hurt, or I had lost him—
“What are you doing in my classroom, young man?” Ms. Kluman suddenly screeched, causing me to jump. “Get out before I have you sent to the principal’s office!”
Everyone in class turned—including me—and that’s when I saw James sitting on the back counter.
“I’d rather stay,” he said, smiling at Ms. Kluman.
I watched him stare at Ms. Kluman until her expression turned vacant and placid.
“Fine,” she huffed.
Everyone laughed at her strange reaction while I just continued to stare at James.
For the rest of the week, for just a few seconds at a time, everything would seem eerily normal. It was like it had been after losing my mom. There were these gaps in time where I would forget. At the end of a class, I would catch myself turning in my seat, anxious to see Will waiting for me. Then I would see James, and reality would come crashing down again.
When I was home with my dad, there was an extra layer of
Things We Shall Not Speak Of
. I tried—for his sake—to pretend that I was all right, but it felt like what it was—an act. I smiled when I was supposed to; I cooked and ate dinner; I did my homework. I acted normal when what I was really doing was waiting. Because there was nothing else I
could
do. I wasn’t a superhero. I wasn’t a badass. I was just a girl who had lost too many people.
In my room at night, I listened to music endlessly. Songs so depressing that they could make me cry on the best day. Sometimes I listened to the same song on repeat for hours until I didn’t even notice it was playing—it just became the background to my life. Then, finally, one day I couldn’t take it anymore, so I started walking. After homework, on weekends—basically any chance I got. I listened to my depressing playlist as I walked to the playground. To the edge of the woods. Into town.
I knew I wasn’t alone. I knew there was someone watching me. Either Gen, or Edmond, or James. Then one day when I walked out of the house, James was there waiting for me. I had gotten used to him haunting my classes, watching me from a far corner of the cafeteria—always somewhere on the periphery of my vision since that first day I had come back to school. He was like of placeholder for Will, who had disappeared so suddenly and so completely from my life.
“Go ahead. Say it,” I muttered, casting a sidelong glance at James. “‘
You brought this on yourself
’ or ‘
I told you so
’ or ‘
You have only yourself to blame
’. Something to that effect, right?”
“You appear to be under a misapprehension.”
“And what exactly am I
misapprehending
?”
“You may not believe me, but I don’t blame you—”
“Right,” I said under my breath.
“I blame Will for learning nothing from history.”
“Oh, so you’re one of
those
guys? The one who gets screwed over by one girl and then decides that every female is exactly the same? Really?”
He surprised me by smiling.
“Not at all. Will knew the risks of bringing into our world a mortal, an innocent no less. He never should have done it.”
“What happened to not choosing who you love? Isn’t that a thing?”
“You also have the power to choose what is best for the one you love, a concept I learned too late.”
I shook my head.
“I make my own choices.”
“Or Fate chooses for you.”
Even if it didn’t feel like it, I
was
sleeping at night. I knew, because every night in my dreams, I would search for him. One night I would be under the ocean—somehow able to breathe—and I would see Will chained to the ocean floor. Another night, I would be in a graveyard, digging until I hit stone with my shovel. With inhuman force, I would pry open the sarcophagus and see Will, beautiful, cold, and lifeless. Then, one night, I found myself standing in front of the house on Kincaid, staring up at the wrought-iron fence. When I looked down, I was barefoot, wearing the dress Will had bought me for the dance—and I was covered in blood.
I began to leave notes, little scraps of paper in odd places.
Where is he
? I left that note in my locker.
I’m waiting
. That note went in the glove box of the Volvo.
Please. I’ll do anything
. I left that note under a stone near the park.
Me for him
, I wrote finally, leaving the piece of paper in the school library’s copy of
For Whom the Bell Tolls
.
During school, I tried my best to act normal. No one asked me about the dance. No one asked about a funeral. What would they say?
Your boyfriend’s dead—when’s the funeral?
Then, on the Friday before the dance, Gen invited me to the house on the coast. I thought it was an attempt to distract me, but seeing them—Gen, Edmond, and James—was just a reminder that Will was gone. I couldn’t tell Gen that, though. Because they were still here, watching over me … which was another problem. I didn’t want them here. I wanted them out looking for Will, trying to bring him back. Gen claimed they
were
looking for him, but how could they be when one of them was always watching me?