Awaiting Fate (18 page)

Swallowing the bile rising in the back of his throat, he managed, “Darling, I’m so sorry…I—”

Despite the tears, she smiled. Her hands cupped his face, then she lifted herself slightly to press her lips against his.

He couldn’t pull away, not even to finish the apology she so deserved.

When she did, she whispered, “That was…incredible.”

Incredible? But he’d hurt her!
“But I hurt—”

“No,” she said, adamantly. “You didn’t.”

He hadn’t hurt her? Then why was she in tears? “Why are you crying?”

She swallowed, her fingers softly grazing his cheek. “I’ve never been so happy in my life.”

A warmth filling his chest, he reached out with his senses, felt what she did. He then cupped her face, his fingers grazing her skin. “Me neither, darling.”

Her gaze drew away from his then she said on a whisper, “I think…I think I felt your release.”

He nodded. “I tried to hold it back, but couldn’t…” He’d lost hold of his emotions and involuntarily projected them. He’d been holding back too much: his strength, the need to claim her, and his emotions. Something had to give. The least damaging to her was how he felt. He’d planned to show her in time, but her first time he hadn’t wanted to overwhelm her.

“I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be,” she smiled. “It was wonderful.”

He held her for several more moments, unwilling to let their moment end, then shifted his weight and nestled her on his chest.

After a long moment, as he laced his fingers through her hair, he said, “Darling, I’m running you a bath and then you have to eat.”

Snuggling closer, she whispered against his chest, “No, a little while longer.”

He smirked then materialized them in her en suite bathroom, appearing with her body pressed against his, his arm around her waist, holding her up. Her hands clutched him, nails digging into his skin, she gasped, startled, then laughed.

“Mrs. Thaler, you will do as I say.” Shifting away from her, he turned on the faucet in the bath and tested its heat.

“I’d rather lie in bed with you and maybe…”

He knew where her thoughts were headed. His had been headed in the same direction moments after their release. No one could blame him. She was his mate, the one he’d waited for, for centuries, the one he’d watched over for months, and she’d been lying naked beside him. He’d had her. Not all of her, he hadn’t claimed her, but he had taken pleasure, given her pleasure and that meant he now knew what he’d been missing. His mind would never roam far from taking pleasure in her again.

“There’s nothing I would love more, but we should wait until tomorrow, you may be sore…that’s why you should bathe. The warm water will help.”

“I guess…” she mumbled. “Are you joining me?”

He kissed her forehead then said, “Anything for my mate.” As she climbed into the tub, he said, “I’ll be right back, love.”

He didn’t waste time. Materializing in the kitchen, he rummaged through the cabinets to find a tray, wine glasses and a plate. He then opened the fridge to grab several cheeses, some deli meats, grapes, and white wine. After arranging the meats and cheeses on a plate along with the wine, he materialized in the bathroom again.

“Room service,” he said.

Smiling, she said, “I’m not really hungry, for
food.
” She blushed.

Come to think of it, neither was he. “Humor me. You haven’t eaten since this afternoon.”

He placed the tray on the side of the tub then turned off the faucet and settled in behind her, straddling her. When she laid her back against his chest, he handed her a glass of wine.

“I didn’t know you drank wine.”

“Not usually, but there comes a time when—”

Angling her head to meet his eyes, she teased, “Like when you’re forcing your mate to bathe and eat?”

Running his hand down the side of her arm, he smiled. “Exactly.”

They sipped their wine for several minutes before he reached for the assorted deli meats and a slice of cheese and fed her.

“Thank you. You know I was just teasing you before.”

“I know, darling,” he said, lightly kissed her temple before he reached for a slice a cheese for himself.

“How long do you think this will last?”

Not liking the sound of the question, he tensed, forced himself to swallow then asked, “What?”

“You know when couples first start dating they can’t keep their hands off each other. It’s a phase—”

Fuck
. Why on earth she’d think
this
was temporary? They were immortals, destined for one another. It was much more than what mortals experienced. They were
fated
mates and what they felt would
never
fade.

“Where would you get the idea this is just a phase?” With every word, he fought to keep his tone level.

She shrugged. “I’ve read about it in magazines and—”

He gripped her chin, turned her face to the side to meet his then said, “Liv, this
isn’t
a phase. Whatever’s mentioned in magazines doesn’t pertain to us. We are mates, fated. This is how it will always be with us.”

“But after a hundred years, you won’t be as attracted to me—”

She wasn’t getting it, so he said it more firmly. “You’re
my mate
, Olivia. You are the
only one
for me. I will always be insanely attracted to you. I will always want you. I will always love you a hundred years from now, or a thousand, or however long I live.”

Her face softened then her gaze fell away from his when she said, “But I’m not experienced in—”

“You’re the best I’ve ever had,” he said without thought. He meant it. She was the best of everything. Everything with her was like the first time, and he loved he was her first and loved more he would be her last.

The tension in her shoulders dissolved, slumping slightly. He released her face, allowing her to turn it away from him.

Inwardly, he cursed, hating her insecurities. It seemed every compliment he’d ever given her hadn’t sunk in. His Olivia was a beautiful, naturally quick-witted woman, but had no self-esteem to show for it because she’d been too sheltered. He blamed her brother; it was Landon’s fault for keeping her secluded at the estate and away from men who weren’t terrified of him. It should be a crime no man had ever told her just how beautiful she was.

Now, it was Cain’s job to make her realize she was beautiful, special, beyond anything and anyone, and especially, to make her understand she was all there was for
him
.

Then an ugly thought reared its head: his own insecurity and deep-seated fear. Would her insecurities cause her to leave him again? There was no question Landon wouldn’t be thrilled she was his mate. That meant he’d do whatever it took to keep them apart. What he feared was Landon playing on her insecurities, making her run from him, again. Was it a matter of when instead of if?

After feeding her several more slices of meat and cheese, he grabbed the soap and lathered her back then chest, arms, legs, exploring every bit of her body. As he did, he told her why he found each bit of her beautiful. It was all he could do to assure her, so he knew he would do it again, over and over until she believed.

After their bath, he dried her and tucked her into bed then nestled himself next to her with her head on his shoulder and his arms tight around her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, shutting his eyes tightly.

Tonight, he wouldn’t think about her leaving. Tonight, he would enjoy her in his arms.

Tomorrow, he’d wake with her beside him and continue to tell her she was beautiful, and every day after that, too. Eventually, she’d believe him.

****

Cain dreamt and dreamt, the sweet dreams he dreamt replaced with a new dream. He was alone, cold and empty, subconsciously, realizing the warmth that soothed him throughout the night was gone.

He reached for her, but his arm landed on the cold, empty mattress. Immediately, his eyes snapped open, scanning his surroundings.

He was alone.

Olivia was gone.

The dream became reality.

He couldn’t prevent the panic, fear or dread that enveloped him immediately. He wanted to believe the day they’d spent together meant as much to her as it meant to him—everything. He wanted to believe she hadn’t left him, possibly she’d just needed to use the restroom, but before he even searched the bathroom, he knew he wouldn’t find her there. The sheets next to him were cold, too cold, as if she left some time ago not just minutes. Either way, he searched the bathroom and closet, and just as he’d expected, she wasn’t there.

With trembling hands, he searched the second story of the home, just as he’d done the day before, room by room. In a flash, he materialized on the stairs. There, his gaze landed on her, feet from him, climbing quickly, holding a tray of food and coffee.

Relief swarmed him. Struggling to tamp down the panic that clawed him, he didn’t act fast enough. Olivia collided with him. The tray of breakfast hit his chest before tipping toward her, spilling coffee, food, utensils, plates and cups. She gasped and stumbled. He snaked his arm around her waist, steadying her. The crashing sound of their breakfast, broken plates and cups, smashing into the floor came a second later.

Her eyes burning him with awareness, she said, “I’m sorry I didn’t see you.”

He took in her appearance. Her hair hadn’t been brushed, her face was cosmetic free, and she smelled of him.
Stunning
, he thought, especially wearing his shirt that showed off her long lean legs. Now, it was drenched in coffee and so was she.

His mate had been making him breakfast, and he thought she’d left him. Who was the insecure one? His panic had ebbed, but the dread and fear were harder to tame.

“Cain?” she asked. “Are you okay?”

He nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You should go change. I’ll clean this up.”

“I can help—”

“No,” he said, firmly, avoiding her gaze.

As if picking up his bleak thoughts, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t trust himself to answer, so he said nothing. Instead, he kneeled and began to pick up the pieces of broken glass.

“You’re not going to tell me?” she asked, so softly, so solemn he barely heard.

When he didn’t respond, she turned and headed upstairs. A moment later, he heard the shower running.

Idiot,
he scolded. Why hadn’t he just told her? His pride? Did he have any left when it came to her?

He finished picking up the pieces of glass and began picking up the food. Sighing heavily, he continued to berate himself. He moved into the kitchen in search of a mop when he heard the shower turn off. Finding the mop in a closet off the side of the kitchen, he took it, headed back toward the stairs and began mopping.

When he finished, he looked up and found her at the top of the staircase, looking down at him, wearing a pink knitted dress that, in his opinion, revealed too much cleavage. She’d showered and washed her hair, which now hung dripping wet around her.

Sighing heavily, she said, “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know you anymore. You’ve changed so much…I don’t understand. I know I hurt you by leaving, but it hurt me, too. I know it’s my fault, and I
am
sorry. I want to make things right, but I can’t if you won’t tell me what’s wrong. I want to help…please.”

Her blue eyes beseeched, pulling and tugging at him. Unable to bear the sadness in her voice, or the pleading in her eyes, he caved. “This morning when I woke up, you weren’t where I left you.”

Looking confused, her brows drew together. “I went to make breakfast. I thought I’d surprise you,” she explained.

He figured as much, but it hadn’t soothed his fear, his dread that she would leave again. “I thought you left,” he admitted.

She met him mid-staircase, then she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his chest and said, “I’ll never do that again, Cain. I didn’t know I was yours. If I had, I would have never left. I would’ve waited. I would’ve—”

Because he couldn’t help it, he said, “But you have doubts.”

She pulled away from him slightly, and tilted her head back to meet his gaze.

“You have doubts. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t wonder when this
phase
will fade. It won’t.” Harshness seeped into his voice. “It
isn’t
a phase. This
is
real, lasting, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love. We are mates. We will always feel this way.”

Her arms fell away from his waist. When they did, her eyes rounded. “I’m sorry I just find it hard to believe you are attracted to me,” she said, her cheeks growing flushed. Attempting to conceal the blush he loved so much, she drew her hands to cover her face.

It pissed him off in a way it shouldn’t, but because he was still angry from what she’d said last night his temper spiked. “Because you don’t know how beautiful you are. Does it even matter how many times I tell you? You’ll never believe it, will you? Do you own a mirror?”

Her eyes narrowed and flared, interweaving the blue with sparks of gold. “Don’t patronize me,” she fired back, her voice rising. “I haven’t slept with hundreds of men who flattered me constantly.”

She said she didn’t care, said she didn’t blame him for not looking for her, but she did. It hurt him because she lied, especially because she blamed him and had every right to. His chest tightening, eyes ablaze, he shot back, “And you hold that against
me
.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Thaler.”

Did she just call him by his last name? After all the time they’d known each other? After yesterday? After last night? She was driving a wedge between them, distancing herself from him as she’d done the weeks before she left. A pure and profound frustration seeped into him.

No, she wouldn’t; he wouldn’t let her.

Wrapping his arms around her roughly, he crushed her body against his then planted his lips on hers. She fought briefly, pressing her palms on his chest attempting to push him away, but when his tongue parted her lips and he delved in, she quit fighting and gave in to him. Her tongue stroking his eagerly, she wrapped her arms around his neck deepening the kiss.

Images of her body naked and pliant, her face flushed with pleasure assailed him, and he could barely control his desire to make love to her right then and there.